Quinn, Hilltop

I calmed down somewhat. I tried to focus on fixing the wall, so it would keep my thoughts occupied. But I couldn't keep that state up for long, because I heard the gates open and the roar of a motorcycle.

My heart started to pound in my ears. Daryl's here.

Inexpressible rage got into me. I never felt so angry. I saw Ezekiel walk up to him, then Daryl greeting Connie. I stared at him from a distance then I turned my back on him. I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself down.

He was the reason I got banished from Alexandria, he told Negan I was dead and he lied to me for years.

Soon, I saw him leave with Connie.

I exhaled furiously. He is out of town, at least for now. I tried to concentrate on the wall. Eugene kept me company and kept talking about the tree and the wall. He managed to keep my thoughts away from Daryl and I thought I somehow got calmer, but as soon as night fell and Daryl came back… as soon as I saw his face, the same rage returned into me.

I couldn't keep my shit together anymore. I escaped Eugene's eyes quickly and hid behind a building. I was staring at Daryl from a distance with so much hatred I never knew I was capable of feeling. He was rummaging about his motorcycle. I approached him quietly and when I got next to him…

SLAP

I slapped his face so hard that my hand was in pain like hell. I got scared for a minute that it broke, but he was taken by surprise, so I didn't stop, I tried to attack him again, but he grabbed both of my wrists with a quick grasp, now that he was more alert, and pushed me against the wall.

"What the hell are you doin'?!" he asked, slightly raising his voice.

"You fucking asshole!" I yelled back at him. "How could you?!"

I was struggling but he held my wrists next to my head, pushed my back against the wall. He was much stronger than me, I had no chance of escaping from his grasp. His face was close, I could try to headbutt him.

"Quinn, calm down…" he murmured in a calmer way.

"How could I calm down?!" I yelled into his face. "You lied to him and lied to me for years! You dragged all of my friends into this shit! You made them lie to me! How can I trust anyone after this?! How can I trust you?!" I shouted, then I ran out of air. He stood my gaze and took it all without a word. I continued in a calmer way. "Tell me, Daryl… the savior of everyone… the village hero… tell me, how can I trust you after all this?!"

My eyes started to fill with tears. I wanted to kick him in the nuts, but suddenly I felt like all strength left my body. I was shaking, I was sobbing once again.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "You are right. But…"

"Don't you fucking dare to mention Glenn and Abraham!" he backed away, let go of my wrists as I started yelling at him again. "Negan changed! Judith knows the best! If you weren't so blinded by hatred you could see it too!"

"I saw it. When he saved Lydia," he said quietly. I didn't know how to answer that.

"I hate you… I hate you so much," I said, I was drowning in my own tears.

Daryl looked me in the eye, guilt all over his face. I looked away just for a moment and suddenly he hugged me. I was struggling against him, I wanted him to let me go, but he didn't and I couldn't get out of his embrace. I didn't hug him back.

"Sshh, it's okay. Cry. Take it all out on me. It's my fault," he said.

"Yes, it is," I sobbed.

Eugene appeared behind me, he locked eyes with Daryl.

"It's okay," said Daryl quietly. Eugene nodded and left us alone.

"Let me go," I said through gritted teeth.

"No. You have to calm down first," said Daryl.

"I can't calm down, because of what you did!"

He didn't let me out of his hug, so I eventually gave up struggling, but I hated it.

"Where's Negan now?" I asked him.

"I don't know. We went out with Jesus to look for him but found nothing. He vanished."

"He is in danger," I put my palms against his chest and pushed myself back from him, but he still didn't let me out of his hug. I looked him in the eye.

"You have to stay here and help Eugene fix the wall," he said.

"Negan's gonna die out there! If he gets caught by the whisperers…"

"Everything's gonna be fine. He can talk his way out. He can deal with it."

"Don't bullshit me. You don't believe that either. Let me go," I said again. Finally, he did so.

"I am your friend, Quinn. I am the same man as I was."

"You are not my friend anymore. Friends don't do what you did to me!

I could see how much my words hurt him, but I didn't care at that moment, he hurt me more.

"It wasn't against you. It was against Negan."

"I don't care! Don't you see? It's the same damn thing! If you hurt him, you hurt me! I don't care what you think of him or if you hate him or not!"

We looked each other in the eye for a long minute, I exhaled furiously. He stood my gaze, then he finally spoke:

"You have to stay here and help Eugene," he said.

"Get the hell out of Hilltop before I hit you harder," I said through gritted teeth, now staring at the ground, avoiding his eyes.

"Quinn, please. I'm sorry. I really am… but we have to deal with this wall and the whisperers first. Carol's losing her mind because she is so worried about Henry's safety. We need you," he took a deep breath. "I need your help."

"How dare you… You're asking me for favors and help after what you did?" I snapped at him.

"I didn't expect…" he stopped talking, I stared at him.

"You didn't expect that I'll learn the truth, that's what you wanted to say? Oh, well… Deal with your problems alone. You and Carol are not my problem. My problem is this fucking wall right now. So get the fuck out of here! Why are you not with Carol protecting her and Henry anyway?" I asked sarcastically.

"I was needed here," he said, avoiding my eyes.

"Why did you come?"

"To escort Siddiq and to say sorry to you," he glanced at me finally.

I stared at him for a moment, disbelievingly.

"Get the fuck out of here," I repeated and turned my back on him.

He nodded and turned around to prepare his motorcycle for leaving. He had a huge red mark on his face from my slap. I headed back to my room. Eugene was waiting for me and called my name, but I didn't pay attention to him. I just headed to my room and locked myself in. I know it was rude to Eugene, but I was so pissed off.

I was pacing in my room for a while, then I lay on my bed and started to cry.

I was so angry and furious, also I was worried about Negan.

I tried to calm myself down. Then I made up my mind and headed to the radio. I called Carol.

"This is Carol," she said.

"How could you do this to me again?" I asked her.

"It wasn't me this time. It was Daryl's idea. But it doesn't change the fact. I am sorry."

"You better be. What if Negan gets killed by the whisperers?"

"He can take care of himself."

I started to cry again.

"Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?" I asked myself out loud.

There was a moment of silence, then Carol started to talk again so quietly I barely heard her.

"Listen, Quinn… I wanted to make it up to you… I let Negan out. This way Alexandrians can't kill him. And we made a deal."

I jerked my head up.

"What kind of deal? Where is he now?"

"I asked him to kill Alpha… and if he does, I will help him clear his name in Alexandria."

"Are you out of your mind?!" I snapped at her.

"Calm down, Quinn. We are talking about Negan! He is smart. He can get the job done."

"And you don't worry about him, so it's not a big loss if he fails, right?"

"I'm sorry. I really am. But Henry's safety is my priority right now. Also, I wanted to help you with this. He has a bigger chance of surviving out there because Alexandrians went crazy when he killed that woman."

"So you send Negan to death when you know exactly how much I love him?!"

"If he stayed here, Alexandrians would kill him!"

"Fuck Alexandrians! He saved Lydia, is that a crime?!"

"You're right. The council knows too, but that's not enough for angry people."

"I am angry. I'm really disappointed in you and Daryl. And you made Jesus and Eugene lie to me too. Michonne, Siddiq, Aaron… who else? Fuck knows!"

"I can't say enough times how sorry I am. But look at the bright side. If Negan succeeds, whisperers won't be a threat anymore and you can freely be together with Negan. Without jail, without angry people."

"I don't see a chance of that happening right now."

"Have faith in Negan. He's going to do the job. And he still doesn't know that you are alive. So, if he gets it done, that proves even more his loyalty to Alexandria. To us."

"I'm disgusted with you. You and your games. You and Daryl are not my friends anymore. I'm out."

I stated and I turned off the radio. I headed back to my room.

I couldn't believe what just happened.

I was deeply disappointed by Carol and Daryl.

…

Author's notes: Listen to "you broke me first" by Tate McRae.

Thank You for reading! ❤