Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter, that's Jo's. And I don't own the song either, it's Anna's. Too bad. I would be one rich person. Meh.
A/N: This is a Lily/James ff based on the song 'Breathe (2 AM)' by Anna Nalick. I have changed a couple of the words in the song to better suit the story. Also, the first little bit is supposed to be written by Lily's (unnamed) girl friend. The rest is Lily and James switching off, and I'm sure that you can tell the difference. Thanks, and please R&R!
2 AM and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Lily owled me in my Gryffindor dorm from her head girl's room. It was two in the morning and she knows that I always stay up late, because late is when I write to everyone.
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season."
I sobbed into the phone. I had made the mistake of confusing friendship with love, and agreed to another date with Ja—him. That made the whole Hogsmead trip a complete disaster. Words were thrown, insults were spat, and shards of glass were scattered like crumbs to the birds on the floor.
Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes Like they have any right at all to criticize Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason.
Monday morning. The Great Hall buzzed with gossip, and I knew it wasn't pleasant. All eyes of the women turned, lightning fast, at me as I walked through the widely opened doors, and they shot daggers. They were condemning me: as a student, as a friend, and as a woman. They despised me.
Cause you can't jump the track We're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass glued to the table, No one can find the rewind button, girl So cradle your head in your hands. And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe, just breathe
Pretending like I didn't notice anything, I kept my head held high and walked to the table. I knew that this was one of those things, something that was there for a reason, something that I couldn't skip. Obviously, life can't go backwards. So I'll just have to sit here and…deal. Just remember: breathe, Lily, breathe.
May he turned 17 on the base of Fort Bliss "Just a day," he said down to the flask in his fist Ain't been sober since maybe October, or last week
Gosh, I'm a grown man, for God's sake. Get a grip on yourself! 'Just a day' I managed to croak out as I looked at the bottle that brought me to the fuzziness of drunkenness, night after night. I haven't stop drinking since Saturday. Last week. October.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for awhile But my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles Wanna hold him, or maybe I'll just think about it
I could even see that he was sad. Angry? Distressed. I wasn't the only one. A smile since that day is so rare, and so beautiful as it flutters on his lips for that split second, until he remembers again. Oh gosh, I wish I could just hold him close, and tell him everything's alright. But then again, that's also what I need. All I can do is think of it.
Cause you can't jump the track We're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass glued to the table, No one can find the rewind button, girl So cradle your head in your hands. And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe, just breathe
I hate this. Seriously. I love her so much, and I don't think she knows that anymore. I was such an idiot. I really wish I could skip this. Go back in time, really. I rested my elbows on my knees, and my head in my hands, thinking. Just thinking. Breathing. Being. Being without Lily. I don't know if it's possible. I love her too much.
There's a light at each end of this tunnel You shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out And these mistakes you've made You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around
I have two choices. Act like it never happened and move on, because Sirius says that any girl would jump at the chance to…jump…me. Oh please. I flew around another lap on the Quidditch pitch, screaming a silent plea to the silent and misty world. Or…Talk to her. But will she talk to me…?
2 AM and I'm still awake writing this page If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me Threatening the life it belongs to.
I quickly scribbled some more thoughts, my tears flooding the page and turning the newly-inked words into tear stained blobs. I wrote as fast as possible, perhaps thinking that if I get it all out, it won't be there anymore.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of him now Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
I stand in front of James, looking at the ground. I brush my hair behind my ears and open my mouth to explain. The words came tumbling out and there was a message behind them, even if I didn't say it then: I love you.
But you can't jump the track We're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass glued to the table, No one can find the rewind button now Sing it if you understand, yeah breathe Just breathe, oh oh breathe, just breathe, oh breathe, Just breathe, oh breathe, just breathe
I always knew it couldn't be skipped, but I never knew it would ever seem like it had. Talking to her...again. After only four or five days, I felt like I never would again. Nothing rewinded, and nothing skipped, but everything turned out fine.
"James?" I whispered into his chest, as I hugged him like I never had. His arms felt so warm, like I was supposed to be there, like I fit.
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"Guess what, Lily?" I managed to stutter, spinning with emotions.
"Hmm."
"I love you, too."