Quinn, near Alexandria

Carol, Daryl, Henry, Lydia, Negan, and I were approaching Alexandria. Daryl was barely able to walk, but he wouldn't admit it. I was staring at his back, I felt so conflicted once again. He was behaving like an animal, attacking Negan like that, without listening to what we were saying, me and Carol. He was so out of line. Daryl stumbled and Carol had to catch him. He was still resisting, but he wasn't able to go on.

"Daryl, are you alright?" I asked. He raised his hand and waved it off. Carol looked at me, shaking her head disapprovingly. I glanced at Negan, he was watching without saying anything. Carol took Daryl's arm over her shoulder. Henry stepped next to Daryl and took his another arm over his shoulder, to help him walk. I was sure he lost a lot of blood when Alpha cut him. He was always going on, without thinking, without resting. I shook my head disapprovingly this time. We continued our way, Daryl leaning on Carol and Henry while walking. He was embarrassed for looking weak, in front of Carol, in front of Negan, I could tell. He was so proud, he would never admit it when he needed help. He was staring at the ground in front of him all the way back to Alexandria. Carol glanced at him regularly, to check if he was okay. I was still mad at him for attacking Negan, but it was the same situation again and again. I'm mad and he is in trouble, so I take pity on him. But this time, I decided he won't get away with it. I'll talk to him later after we both rested. With cold heads.

I didn't notice how Negan watched me, while I was staring at Daryl's back, deep in thoughts.

We got back to Alexandria but without any rest, Daryl called a meeting immediately. He gathered himself and walked on without Carol and Henry's help. We went to the hall, Daryl, Carol, Gabriel, Jesus, Aaron, Rosita, Henry, Lydia, Negan, and me.

"What the hell is he doing here?" snapped Rosita as soon as she saw Negan.

"He killed Alpha," growled Daryl, as he sat down into a chair. Rosita fell silent, stared at him, her mouth fell open.

"Can someone explain to me what exactly happened?" snapped Gabriel this time.

"Hilltop fell. Alpha ran us down with the horde." said Rosita.

"I thought you found her horde," said Gabriel glancing at Carol.

"We did, and the cave collapsed, but seems like only a part of it was destroyed," said Aaron.

"We didn't have time to ask for help, you couldn't have got to Hilltop in time and Alexandria needed guards to stay. We didn't know if they would attack the communities at the same time or not," said Rosita.

Gabriel shook his head disapprovingly.

"And what about him?" he glanced at Negan.

"I let him out, I asked him to kill Alpha. He went undercover to earn Alpha's trust, so he could kill her when she let her guard down," explained Carol. Negan was nodding and smiling, so proud of himself.

"Yeah, don't applause, please," said Negan chuckling, taking a bow, theatrically. Rosita, Daryl, and Aaron looked at him with hatred. Jesus and Gabriel glanced at each other, rolling their eyes.

"Stop it, we get it," said Aaron seriously. Negan's smile faded away, but he stood Aaron's gaze.

"I did what none of you could do here. I saved Alexandria. I killed their leader. You are so fucking welcome," said Negan frustrated.

"Where the hell is Michonne anyway?" asked Rosita to change the subject.

"At Oceanside, she got something to investigate," said Gabriel.

"Okay, circus's over, let's get to the point," growled Daryl impatiently. "What are the whisperers going to do next?"

Daryl was really tired after not sleeping for three days in a row, he wanted to get this done. I was feeling the same way, I could fall asleep standing there.

"They're going to choose a new leader, I guess it's going to be Beta," said Negan. "They'll come here and do the same thing they did at Hilltop."

The hall fell silent. Everyone was exchanging glances.

"We have to go to the tower," said Gabriel. "We have to abandon Alexandria before we lose more people."

We all nodded in agreement.

"How much time we have?" asked Gabriel staring at Negan.

"About three or four days. They have to rearrange the horde. And they have to lead them here. It takes time," said Negan.

"Alright. Let's count with three days. Go home now, get rest, and tomorrow we start packing. On the third day, we leave at sunrise," concluded Gabriel. No one objected, so he ended the meeting.

As we were about to leave, I stepped to Rosita.

"Rosita, where's Eugene?" I asked her.

"He left with Ezekiel and Yumiko to go on his date," she said with a slight smile.

"Oh, okay. Thanks," I said. She left with Gabriel.

I was disappointed that Eugene just left. Who knows when I will see him again.

My eyes met with Jesus', he glanced at me, then at Negan, then back at me and smiled. I smiled at him. I knew exactly what he was thinking. He stepped outside with Aaron. Carol stroked my arm, I flinched, I didn't notice she was standing right next to me. She smiled at me and said:

"We're going to stay at Michonne's house. Henry, Lydia, Judith, RJ… and Daryl."

I nodded.

"Okay."

"Use this opportunity well," she said in a suppressed voice and glanced at Negan.

"Carol!" I said her name like I was scolding her. "I just got him back, I can't…"

"You don't know what will happen tomorrow or after… Go for it," she said and smiled. I couldn't believe she was hinting at making love with Negan. My stomach shrank. I didn't have sex in ages… Carol smiled at me again, then left.

Negan stepped to me, I flinched once again.

"Whoa, sorry," said Negan smiling at my scarediness.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired," I said.

"Okay. Don't mind me here, but I just wanted to ask… from bare curiosity… What was going on with those stares with the son of God?" he asked, frowning his eyebrows. I chuckled.

"Jesus? He is my friend. And he is with Aaron."

"That doesn't mean anything," he shrugged his shoulder. I let out a sigh.

"I cried on his shoulder when I was missing you," I said, I felt my cheeks going red. They did almost all the time when my eyes met with Negan's.

"Oh!" Negan instantly eased up. "So you two not…?"

"No! He likes men. He stared at me because I talked about you all the time," as I said that I already regretted it and I felt my face go even redder, so I looked away. "And he saw that we finally met."

"Alright. And what about now?"

"I'm going home to sleep."

"Okay. Then see you in the morning, I guess," he said mannerly and headed outside. I grabbed his arm without thinking.

"Wait! Where are you going?" I asked, I was afraid he is going to leave Alexandria. He smiled at my reaction.

"To my tiny little cell, where else? I need to sleep too."

As soon as the thought formed inside my head, I felt my heart start pounding heavily and my face went red once again.

"Would you… would you like to stay at my house?" I asked, trembling like a teenager who asks for a first date. Fortunately, he didn't make fun of me.

"Hell yeah, I'd like," he said smiling widely. His brown eyes were so warm and comforting. I smiled back at him and nodded. I led him to my house, embarrassed. I saw Carol and Daryl entering Michonne's house. I turned my gaze to Negan.

"This was my house before I got banished," I told him.

"I know. I recognized it when I got out," he said.

"You went looking for my house when you could have left Alexandria?" I asked while I was unlocking the front door.

"Yeah, kinda did," he said, his cheeks slightly red. I couldn't stop smiling. I let us in, then I locked the front door. We cleaned the house pretty much with Henry.

"I'd like to chat with you all day long, but… I'm so fuckin' tired…" he said laughing nervously. "Will you forgive me if I go to sleep now?"

"I feel the same way… Let's just sleep," I said. I was really, really sleepy and tired. He crushed into the couch, while I climbed upstairs. By the time I got to the top of the stairs, I heard him breathing gently, he had already fallen asleep. I stumbled to my bed and crashed hard.

This wasn't the way I pictured our reunion and our first day together, just the two of us, alone… But we are humans. We were tired and needed to sleep.

…

I slowly woke up, I felt completely rested. I slept through all day. I glanced at the window, I saw it was about dawn, but the sun wasn't showing itself yet. I got up and tiptoed to the stairs and glanced at the couch without going downstairs. Negan was still asleep. I smiled. I tiptoed to the bathroom, then I took a shower. I was so dirty, covered in sweat and blood and dead blood and dirt… My hair smelled like smoke, from Hilltop… And I was hugging Negan while I was smelling like this?... I was ashamed of myself. Fortunately, I had a soap bar, I smelled like a granny now, but way better than it was before the shower. I quickly dressed into something comfortable, I chose a white T-shirt and white sweatpants. I looked through the window. I could still see the stars, but also the first rays of the sun. How many nights passed in this same window, with me watching the stars? Thinking about Negan… and now, he was right here, downstairs. I couldn't believe I was alive and we were here together. Hilltop fell… but we were here. And all my friends were alive.

I couldn't believe that Negan killed Alpha. He was truly my hero. I felt like I fell back into that pink dusty state when I first fell in love with him. I never forgot him, but my memories of him started to slowly fade away. Now that he was here, everything came back to me. I knew he was good. He made mistakes as the leader of the Sanctuary, but he is only human. Before the apocalypse, I would never ever fall in love with a murderer, and now, here I am. All of us were murderers. I wasn't trying to justify his actions, I really liked Abraham as a friend, but Negan didn't know us. We were just a threat in his eyes just like he was in ours.

I knew he was good inside. He helped us a lot. I wish we have met him before he founded the Sanctuary. I bet he would have been a great member of our team. Maybe Rick and Daryl would have liked him if they met in different circumstances. Eugene and Abraham would have liked him too.

I let out a sigh unintentionally.

One thing is for sure: I knew who he was and I'll never be scared of him ever again.

I trust him completely.

…

Author's notes: Listen to "Halo" by Beyoncé.

Thank You for reading! ❤