Quinn & Negan, Alexandria ❤

As I was sitting by the window, I heard the couch squeak. I went downstairs. Negan was sitting, his back towards me.

"So you're awake too," I said. He turned around and smiled at me.

"Yeah… Did we sleep through the whole day?" he asked, glancing through the window.

"Yes. You can take a shower upstairs if you want and I'll make something to eat."

"Sounds good," he said.

"In the bedroom, there's a closet, you can find some men's clothes there."

He frowned his eyebrows.

"Did someone live here with you?"

"No. They were already here when I moved in. I was too lazy to throw them out."

He nodded, then took off his leather jacket and threw it on the couch.

I headed to the kitchen, to make sandwiches and he headed upstairs. I heard the opening and closing of the closet door, then I heard the shower's noise. I sat down at the table, waiting for him to come down. I started to eat because I was too hungry to wait.

I heard the shower stop and he was coming downstairs. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a white tank top. His hair was still wet and messy. I almost choked on my food, he looked so good.

"Ah, feels so good to be fresh," he said. "I was smelling terrible. I didn't have a shower in ages."

"Yeah, I was smelling terrible, too," I said, still embarrassed that I hugged him smelling like that. I wasn't able to look at him, I was embarrassed because he looked so handsome.

"I didn't even smell you, because of my own stink. I'm disgusting," he said frowning his eyebrows as he sat down at the table in front of me. I pushed the sandwiches slowly to him.

"Let's just enjoy this granny soap smell, while we can, because we're going to smell bad again as soon as we had out," I said, smiling. I glanced at him.

"You have a point," he said and took a bite from the sandwich. He chewed slowly, savoring the taste.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just… I've been eating earthworms," he said and took another bite.

"Ew," I said. He chuckled.

"Yeah," he nodded. I felt so awkward. I didn't know what to do or say to him, so I stared at the ground.

"You didn't get to tell me what happened after Carol nursed you back to health," he pointed out.

"Oh… uhm… Carol started to arrange the fair at the Kingdom, she invited all the communities," he was listening, while eating. "Then we went to Hilltop because Henry wanted to learn there. Then the whisperers came. Eugene went missing, so we went out to get him. Then there was the fair… Then I came back to Alexandria. And I was watching out for Henry, to protect him from Alpha. Sorry, I'm a terrible storyteller. What about you?"

By the time I ended, he finished his meal.

"Well… I got out once and I had no idea you were alive, so I headed to the Sanctuary. Checked what became of it. Felt so strange to go back. It was kind of… letting go of the past. Most of the time I was at the cell, talking to Judith through the window."

I nodded understandingly.

"When I heard Eugene made a radio connection between the communities, I wanted them to let us talk, but of course, it was forbidden. They didn't want you to learn that I'm alive. I didn't know at the time, that they lied to you about me."

"There were so many opportunities and still we were kept apart," he shook his head disapprovingly.

"Yeah, I'm still furious," I said, letting out a sigh.

I stood up and put the dishes in the washer, then turned back to Negan. He was still sitting by the table, smiling at me.

"So, what do you want to do now?" he asked.

"In the middle of the night? Probably just lie down and wait for the morning," I said, without thinking.

"Okay."

Suddenly I remembered what Carol said, about using this opportunity… My stomach shrank. I didn't even remember the last time I had sex. It was probably before the apocalypse… Jesus Christ… I snapped out of my thoughts and headed upstairs. Negan followed me, without asking or saying a word.

I lay down on my bed, he lay beside me and we were just staring at the ceiling.

"It's so good to do nothing. Resting like this," he said in his low voice. "So comfortable…"

I glanced at him.

"What was it like? At their camp?"

"Tragedy. Like monkeys. They had a couple of weapons, but besides that they were using sticks and stones, eating worms… Once we got a boar, but other than that… Horrible. Alexandria is super modern considered to that. I miss the modern world."

"Sounds bad. It must have been awful for you. I miss the modern world too."

He turned his face towards mine, we were just an inch away from each other. My heart started to pound faster, my breathing heavier. He was just staring at me saying nothing, doing nothing.

"I'm so happy you are alive," he whispered after a while, his eyes tearing up. He was so cute. I smiled at him.

"I'm here," I took his hand and squeezed it gently. He caressed my hair and my cheeks with his other hand. I felt so awkward I didn't know what to do. Should I really have sex with him? Was he thinking the same way as Carol about grasping an opportunity? It didn't seem like he wanted it. He was still emotional from learning that I was alive.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" he asked. I got distracted.

"Uh… nothing," I mumbled, my face still red. "I just feel a little awkward."

"Yeah, me too," he chuckled. "I don't know what to do, I'm just so happy you are alive," we smiled at each other.

I felt my heart was pounding heavily again. I wonder if his was too. He kept caressing my cheek and my hair, then his hand slipped to the side of my neck. The skin on his fingers was rough and a little bit cold, yet I felt burning hot running through my entire body. It was hard to breathe. He moved closer to me and slowly kissed my lips.

After a while, we stopped. It didn't seem like he wanted to continue either.

"I'm sorry… I don't know what's going on with me," I said quietly. "I was waiting for years to meet you again and now that we are here… I'm so embarrassed and nervous… Like a teenager."

"I get it. Don't worry," he said with a slight smile, looking me in the eye. "I don't want to have sex tonight if you're worried about that."

I let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't be. I'm not in the mood. I would rather curl up in a ball and cry," he chuckled embarrassedly.

"Why is that?"

"I dunno… Maybe I'm becoming a sentimental old fart."

"Did something happen to you at the camp?" I asked worryingly.

"Something happened for sure, but I want to cry because of you."

I nodded understandingly.

"What happened?"

He chuckled nervously.

"I don't want to talk about it. At least not yet."

I frowned my eyebrows questioningly, but then I continued.

"Okay. I'm sorry. About the whole thing. About Carol making you go through all this and because of Daryl's lie. I was furious when I learned that he told you I was dead... But now, we have to move on and focus on what's ahead of us."

"You forgave him that easily?" he asked.

"No. It wasn't easy. It was a logical decision, over my anger. I chose not to care about what happened."

This time he nodded understandingly.

"Wish I was that strong. I'm still pissed off. But I'm also glad you are here," he said and looked me in the eye.

"There's something I didn't tell you…" I said. "I was… bedridden for two months. I got injured, but I'm completely healed now."

He frowned his eyebrows and sat up.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I was cut on my stomach, by a whisperer," I sat up too. "He wanted to kill Jesus and I jumped on him. Internal bleeding. Siddiq…" my face winced, I gulped, I got myself together as I remembered Siddiq and Enid… "Siddiq opened my stomach, stopped the bleeding, stitched me up. Enid nursed me until… until the fair."

"So you weren't even there?" he asked. "At the fair?"

"No. I was at Hilltop, lying in a bed. Jesus and Daryl helped me recover," I said.

He nodded understandingly.

"Can I see it?" he asked, nodded towards my belly.

"It's not pretty," I said, embarrassed. I joked about it being a badass scar, but to be honest… it was a long white line across my belly, it didn't look good.

He was waiting for my answer, so I pulled my shirt up on my belly. His eyes fell on the scar, he slowly touched it and traced it along with his finger. I felt like electric jolts were running along where he touched my skin.

"This is huge… If the blade went deeper, you would be dead for sure."

"I know. Daryl saved me that night too."

"Judith thought "uncle Daryl" isn't visiting her because he doesn't love her anymore."

"Aww, cute little angel," I said, smiling. "She calls him uncle Daryl?" I chuckled. "He is going to be daddy sooner or later, he cares about Lydia a lot. But anyway, he didn't visit, because he was changing gauze on my stomach every day."

"Holy Dixon," Negan rolled his eyes. "Can he walk on water too?"

"He does help everyone. But let's not talk about him. I told you this, to make you see why I forgive him every time he does something stupid."

"I see. And I accept it, but it won't make me like him."

"I don't need you to like him. Just see how my logic works."

"Okay," he nodded, while we looked each other in the eye for a long moment. Then I became embarrassed again, and I quickly covered my stomach.

"I think it looks bad, not something I would show around to everyone," I said embarrassed, still not looking him in the eye.

"It does look bad, but only because I can imagine the pain you went through. On the other hand, it looks cool. You shouldn't be ashamed of it," he said. "It marks how brave and badass you were when you saved that Jesus guy."

My face went even more red, I hoped he didn't see it in this semi-darkness. I lay back on the bed, he was still sitting next to me, so I asked him to lay back too. He did so and looked me in the eye. I continued: - I forgave Daryl and Carol because they saved me several times and they are my family. It wasn't easy and I'm still angry when I think about it, but I can understand their motives on a logical basis.

"I see," he said quietly.

I lay my head on his shoulder.

"You know what? Let's just not think about anything and relax," I said.

He smiled slightly.

"I like that."

He embraced me with his arms and we stayed like that in silence. It felt so good, I became so calm, I couldn't even remember when the last time was I felt this calm. His breathing became slower and mine too. After a while, we both fell asleep once more.

…

Author's notes: Listen to: "Innocence" by Avril Lavigne.

Thank You for reading! ❤