Quinn & Negan, Alexandria

When we reached Alexandria, we got taken aback. We didn't expect the view we saw. Alexandria was ruined by the whisperers. We were all looking around disbelievingly. Carol stepped next to me.

"Those assholes," she said. "Let's check our houses," she said. I glanced at her and nodded. Carol, Henry, Lydia, Judith, RJ, Negan, and I were heading in the direction of our houses. As we approached we saw those two were fortunately intact.

Carol went inside with the kids, I searched my pocket for my key. I opened the door and stepped inside. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Seems like they didn't get in," I said.

"I'll look around, just to make sure," said Negan. He went upstairs and checked every room one by one. I did the same downstairs. I opened every cupboard, checked behind and under the couch, everywhere. I heard his steps, coming down.

"Clear," he said.

"Yeah, nothing's here either," I said as I glanced around once more. "That's good luck. We should help the others rebuild the wall."

"Yeah," Negan agreed. "But I'm gonna change first," said Negan, glancing down at his leather jacket.

"That's a good idea," I said. "I should change too."

"After you," he said.

"Thanks," I said and I headed upstairs. I quickly got changed, I put on black trousers, a grey T-shirt and my brown jacket, then I went downstairs. Negan checked me out without saying anything, I got embarrassed. He didn't realize I noticed. He went upstairs and got changed too, he got grey trousers, a white T-shirt, a blue jacket and a brown beanie. As he came downstairs, I smiled to myself.

"What?" he asked.

"I've never seen you wearing a beanie before."

"It's cold."

"Okay," I said and kept smiling. We headed outside to check how we can help. We stumbled upon Carol who was already busy, even though we just arrived like twenty minutes ago. She glanced at us.

"Perfect timing," she said. "Come on. You can help fix that house, or you can help here with the wall," she said, while she was struggling with a piece of metal.

"I'll check the house-" said Negan.

"I help you with the wall-" I said.

We replied at the same time, we glanced at each other, chuckling. Carol straightened up, put her hands on her hips, and looked at us frowning her eyebrows.

"Charming. Now, let's get to work," she said mocking us. I felt my face go red. I glanced at Negan.

"See you later," I said.

He nodded and left to check out the ruined house.

I helped Carol with the piece of metal she was struggling with.

"I wonder where's Daryl," she said quietly.

"I hope he is okay," I said. I saw Aaron and Jesus working on another house, I smiled at Jesus, he waved at me. I turned my gaze back at the wall.

"I miss Eugene," I said.

"Yeah? I thought Negan was all you wanted," said Carol mocking me.

"Come on. Eugene is my friend. Almost like you and Daryl, except we both love someone else. Actually, that was a shitty example, because you and Daryl have always been in love."

"Not always."

"When did you fall in love with him?" I asked. Carol stopped for a second, thinking.

"When…" she gulped, then looked me in the eye. "When Sophia went missing… Daryl was the only one who didn't give up, he kept searching for her. Even after I gave up…" she said, conflicted by her emotions.

"I'm so sorry," I said, straightening my back. "I didn't think it was linked to a painful memory. I'm sorry," I repeated and put my hand on her shoulder. I continued: "I thought you would say something like: "ooh when he saved me and showed off his muscles in his sleeveless shirts" or something like that," I said, trying to be funny, to light up Carol's mood. It worked, she chuckled.

"He does wear a lot of sleeveless shirts," she said giggling. "He wasn't always muscular you know, he was a skinny guy."

"He was already Mr. muscle when I got to know him."

"Yeah," said Carol, we both chuckled. I tried to make Carol feel better, while I was praying on the inside for Daryl to come back safe. I was scared Maggie would come back with the news of Daryl's death while we are just laughing at his clothing style.

"Why so serious suddenly?" asked Carol.

"Oh, nothing. I just hope both Daryl and Eugene are safe," I said.

"Daryl can take care of himself," said Carol, but I had a feeling she said that to herself, to make her worries go away. I glanced in the direction of the house where Negan was working. I spotted him, he was really focused on whatever he was doing. He was wearing work gloves. I didn't even realize I was staring at him until Carol snapped her fingers in front of my face.

"What?" I asked.

"I know he is gorgeous, but this wall doesn't build itself up."

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was staring," I said like I woke up from a dream and looked away embarrassed.

"You were pretty obviously staring," said Carol as she glanced behind me, then she smiled at me. "Don't worry, he is staring at you too."

I felt my face go burning hot. I was smiling, but I didn't dare to look at him.

"Aww, you're so cute," said Carol and she patted my cheek playfully. I chuckled. I got my shit together and focused on fixing the wall. After a little while, Daryl and Maggie appeared with some people.

"Carol, look. Daryl's here," I patted her shoulder. Carol jerked up her head and glanced at Daryl. She let out a sigh of relief. Then her eyes fell on Maggie's son, Hershel. I was staring at him too.

"Oh my god… He looks exactly like Glenn," I said quietly, taken aback.

"Yeah. He is even wearing Glenn's hat," said Carol equally shocked.

It was like seeing a ghost. They approached us.

"What the hell happened here?" asked Daryl. He wasn't in Alexandria since we evacuated to the tower.

"Parting gift from the whisperers," said Carol. I watched Maggie walking past by us and I saw Negan coming out of the house to see what was happening. I didn't pay any more attention to Carol and Daryl. I watched Negan, watching Maggie and Hershel. The internal struggle and conflict I saw on his face were indescribable. After Maggie and Hershel left, Negan went back inside the house, I headed towards him. I heard some noises, he was throwing things. I walked faster when I saw him throwing away his gloves and hurrying away, towards our house, he didn't notice me. My heart beat faster. Something was very wrong. Negan was really upset. I hurried after him to our house. I went inside and closed the door behind me. He was sitting on the ground, sobbing. Hershel… He looked exactly like Glenn, I was sure the sight of him upset Negan. I kneeled next to him and put my hand on his back. He was shaking. He held up his head, took off his beenie, throw it away, then wiped away his tears.

"Was that Glenn's son?" he asked suddenly, looking me in the eye, his voice cracking.

"Yes," I said quietly, my hand resting on his back. He shook his head disbelievingly, crying unstoppably. I continued. "Maggie was pregnant that night."

Negan was devastated, he was crying so hard, my eyes started to fill with tears as well. I felt so much sorry for him. I knew he had a soft spot for children, he wanted to be a father and now he just realized what he did.

"I had no idea Maggie was pregnant," he said drowning in his own tears. "I remember she was ill, but I never thought she was pregnant."

"They were on their way to Hilltop, to take her to the doctor…" I said while a tear rolled down my cheek.

"I thought they were lovers… I thought it would teach them a lesson," he said still crying. "To teach them not to mess with me. I lost Lucille, I survived, I carried on. I thought they would survive and carry on too. I mean, Rosita did. It was painful, yes, but it was to teach them a lesson. After they blew up my people with a fucking rocket they needed a lesson. I never thought she was pregnant!" he buried his face in his hands and he was sobbing uncontrollably. "And that kid looks exactly like Glenn!" he looked me in the eye, my tears were rolling silently.

"We cannot change the past," I said quietly.

"Another kid that I made an orphan. He will never know his father, because of me," he pulled up his knees, put his arms on them, then put his forehead on his arms.

He was sobbing. I leaned my head against his shoulder, crying silently.

We stayed like that for a while, I had no idea how long. I saw the sun was about to go down, we were sitting in the semi-darkness. His sobbing started to become quieter with time. I wiped away my tears and straightened my back. He did the same.

"I need to be alone," he said, his voice was hoarse, cracking. He stood up and left the house without even looking at me. I didn't move. I knew I had to give him space, he needed some time, to digest this. I quickly wiped away my tears once more. I felt his pain. I was just hoping he wouldn't leave Alexandria without me.

…

Author's notes: Listen to "No saving me" by Philmon Lee.

This song is so perfect here, love it. Pay attention to the lyrics. ❤

Thank You for reading! ❤