Quinn, Alexandria

I had such chaotic dreams, I couldn't even tell what I saw. Pictures flashed, colors. I saw blood and walkers and dead bodies. Before I could open my eyes I realized I was having a terrible headache. I slowly opened my eyes, it was early morning based on the light coming through the window. I was trying to gather my thoughts. It was like they fell apart and I had to put them back together, like a puzzle. I was under a blanket, on the couch, cuddling with Him. I held up my head and I saw his beautiful face. Negan. His head was laid back, he was sleeping, his chest moving up and down as he was breathing gently. I felt the urge to cry, I had no idea why, but I tried to hold it back. I didn't want to wake him up. Then I looked around the room. I felt dizzy. Carol was sitting next to me on a chair, sleeping. I felt so bad for her, it must be uncomfortable. Then I kept looking and I saw Daryl too. He was sleeping in the armchair, all laid back, just like Negan. And then I saw Jesus as well, by the kitchen table, sleeping too. What were they doing here? When did they get here? I had so many questions. And a terrible headache. I decided not to wake anyone, so I stayed quiet. I tried to collect my memories to figure out what happened. I was walking with Carol in the forest, looking for edible stuff. As I was trying to remember, Negan moved, I glanced at him.

"Quinn…" he whispered. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts so much… what are they doing here?" I asked unsurely, quietly, but despite I kept my voice down, everyone woke up.

"Quinn…" breathed Carol and stepped to me without hesitating.

"Pupils?" asked Daryl then let out a yawn.

"Seems to be normal," said Carol, staring at my eyes. Daryl stepped to me and looked into my eyes too. I felt a little embarrassed.

"My pupils…? What?" I didn't understand anything.

"Yeah, back to normal," said Daryl.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You were taken by a group and they probably overdosed you with magic mushroom," said Negan gently, as he turned towards me.

"Magic mushroom…" I said as I was trying to remember. I didn't dare to look at his beautiful eyes, because I will get mesmerized in front of everyone. I was trying hard to remember.

"Try recounting what you remember and the rest will come back," said Daryl.

As I opened my mouth to speak someone banged on the front door.

"Got it," said Jesus and opened the door. Aaron and Gabriel were standing there with Maggie behind them.

"Can you please explain to me what's going on?" asked Gabriel.

"Everyone wants to know what happened. If we are in danger," said Aaron. Maggie was staring at Negan and me mistrustfully.

"I got this, try to make her remember," said Jesus and left with the others, closing the door behind himself.

I was watching the scene questioningly, frowning my eyebrows.

"So what do you remember from yesterday?" asked Carol.

Yesterday, yesterday… Oh my god! I made love with Negan that night… Shoot, I will definitely not say that.

"Did you remember something? You made a face," said Carol.

"Yeah, uh… I was talking to you in the morning. Then we went out into the woods to look for something edible. Daryl asked you if he could talk to you. So I left you alone, I didn't want to interrupt anything…"

"Hold on," said Negan irritatedly. "So that's why she was taken? You left that part out when you made her come back alone!" he said staring at Daryl and Carol.

"The whisperers are gone and we were close to Alexandria, I didn't think anything would happen! We didn't see anyone when we went out!" said Carol.

"And what about you? You are roaming the forest every day, you didn't see any trace of a new group?" Negan questioned Daryl this time.

"No, I didn't. Probably they came yesterday and came through the river, so there wasn't much to see," he stated irritatedly.

"Stop, it please…" I said, my head wanted to fall apart. "My head hurts so bad, please don't talk loud…"

"Sorry…" mumbled Negan.

"Can you continue what happened?" asked Carol gently.

"I was heading back to Alexandria… and I heard something. I grabbed my knife and kept walking. Then suddenly two guys jumped on me and a woman put a bag over my head. It happened in a blink of an eye," I snapped my finger as I said that. "I couldn't do anything. It was like they rehearsed it. I tried to scream, but no one heard. They took me to their camp and…"

"And? What?" asked Negan concerned.

"They forced me to eat dried mushrooms... I was scared that it was poisonous because I didn't recognize it. But I was scared anyway because they held a knife to my throat, they would have killed me if I didn't eat them. Then… I had strange things going on in my head, I felt dizzy and I don't even know… darkness… I was so scared…" I said quietly, on the verge of crying again.

Negan was so angry in an instant. He was shaking his head slowly, disbelievingly. Daryl was angry too.

"How did I get home? How did you find me?" I asked, glancing around.

"I found the basket and the knife you dropped and I ran back to get Daryl. He followed your traces and we found their camp," explained Carol gently.

I glanced at Negan.

"You didn't come home, so I searched for Jesus because you said he was your friend, and I told him, asked for his help. We went out to search for you. As we were walking, we saw smoke, so we went in that direction and we found Carol and Daryl, having sex behind a bush."

"WHAT?!" I snapped. I even forgot for a second that my head was hurting.

"Negan, what the hell?" Carol scolded him. Daryl's face went red, he was trying to hide behind his hair and did a facepalm, but I could still see it.

"Yes, they found us, hiding behind a tree, ready to kill them, because in the dark we thought they were the enemy," explained Carol. "No one had sex with no one," she added to clarify.

"Oh," I said, disappointed. Negan was giggling at my reaction. He did this to shake me up a little, so I would get out of this state easier. However, Daryl looked like he wanted to punch Negan in the face for making fun of him.

"Daryl, please don't be mad. He was just joking," I said gently. Daryl looked at me and eased up a bit. Now that I put the pieces together, there were still some black patches I didn't remember. "So, uh… You got to their camp?"

"Yeah, we killed them all," stated Jesus.

"How did we get back? I don't remember anything at all after I ate those things," I said.

"Nothing?" asked Daryl. I was frowning my eyebrows quiestioningly at Carol.

"You were hallucinating, and said some… disturbing things," she said, hesitated to look for the right word. I was frowning my eyebrows even more.

"Probably we should let her take a break, it was a lot to remember," said Negan, like he wanted to get out of the situation.

"I should go and take a look around, maybe there were more of them," said Daryl, grabbed his crossbow, and left in an instant. I was just staring at him, he was in such a hurry suddenly.

"I should probably check on the wall. Will you stay with her?" asked Negan and gathered himself to stand up. Carol nodded yes to him.

"Are you leaving?" I asked.

"Yeah, they need help," he said simply and followed Daryl outside. I was staring after them disbelievingly.

"What the hell was that?" I asked as I turned to face Carol. She let out a sigh and recounted everything that happened, what I said, and what I did. I was listening disbelievingly, shocked and devastated by every word she said.

"No…" I said as I was about to cry again. "No way I said that… I would never want to hurt any of them!"

"I know, and they know that too. They know it wasn't you. But it was really hard for Negan and Daryl to watch."

I buried my face in my hands, I didn't want to believe this.

"I have to talk to them, I have to make it up to them, I can't stand the thought that I told Negan that we captured him and… mentioning Rick… and Daryl having to watch me trip like he was watching his brother… I can't… Carol, what did I do?" I asked as I burst into tears. Carol sat next to me and embraced me as I cried into her shoulder.

"They know it wasn't you. You shouldn't be concerned about them now, you should rest. How's your head?"

"Do you think I can rest after all this?" I asked still crying, backing away from her.

"Quinn, look at me…" she said and I did. "It was not you," she said pressing every word. "And they know it wasn't you. It wasn't your intention, it wasn't your fault, any of it. In fact, it was my fault, because I left you alone."

"No, Carol, please don't say that, I was so lame I couldn't defend myself again. It wasn't your fault, I should have been better. Please, don't feel guilty," I said and I hugged her again. Then I backed away, wiped my tears, then looked her in the eye.

"You should drink a little and go to rest," she said. I nodded. She brought me a glass of water, that's when Jesus stepped through the front door.

"Jesus…" I said, tears still in my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" he asked gently as he sat next to me.

"I'm sorry you had to see this…" I said. Fortunately, I didn't hurt at least his feelings.

"Don't be silly, none of it was your fault," he said. "You should rest to let it completely go away."

"I don't know if I can rest, knowing that I hurt Negan and Daryl…"

"Give them time, they will have to digest it, then everything will be back to normal," said Carol.

"I agree," said Jesus.

"How did the meeting go?" I asked to try to distract my thoughts. I took a sip from the glass of water.

"I told them everything about what happened, they were curious if there are more of them, if Alexandria is in danger."

I nodded understandingly.

"Now I have to go, but let me know if there's anything I can do for you," said Jesus, smiling slightly. I couldn't help it, I had to hug him.

"Thank you," that was all I was able to say. He hugged me back.

"Anytime," he said kindly, smiled at me once more, then he left. Carol stepped to me this time.

"Do you want to go upstairs, or will you try to fall asleep here?" she asked.

"I'll just try here," I said and I lay down on the couch. She sat next to me, on the chair.

"I'm sorry you had to sleep in that chair," I said.

"What? Pfff, I had it worse," she said jokingly, waving it off. I smiled slightly. She arranged my blanket and I tried to fall back to sleep.

…

Author's notes: Listen to "Head above water" by Avril Lavigne.

Thank You for reading! ❤