The Next Morning
Dana Scully awoke gently not wanting to open her eyes to the harsh daylight 'God that was a good dream.' She thought to herself lazily. She had slept soundly, the best sleep she had had in years in fact. She lifted her hand slowly to stifle a yawn and felt the almost familiar tickling sensation under her fingertips. 'Oh my God!' she though as her eyes opened abruptly. She was lead in bed with Fox Mulder the realization struck her 'It wasn't a dream!' neither of them had moved at all in the night, she was still wrapped tightly in his embrace.
'Oh...my...God' she thought again as she felt herself begin to panic. 'Oh-my-God, What do I do? . . .I can't do this...I can't do this' she glanced up at Mulder; he was still sleeping soundly 'That's something to be grateful for.' She gently slithered from his arms being extra careful not to wake him. She saw his shirt lying on the floor where she recalled dropping it the previous night and scoped it up quickly, slipping it on to cover herself incase he awoke. 'Why am I bothering?' she wondered 'He's already seen me naked...he had sex with me, I had sex with him...Oh God!'
She gathered her belongings quickly from the floor and crossed the room silently to the adjoining door. As she stepped through the doorway she glanced back at Mulder, he looked so contented and peaceful, she felt guilt surge through her body as she clicked the door closed behind her thinking once more 'Oh-my-God.'
She dropped her belongings on the floor once safely back in her room and headed straight for the bathroom. "Stupid, stupid...What were you thinking?" she voiced her thoughts aloud now. "He's your partner...your friend... your best friend...you stupid, stupid, stupid girl." She paused for a moment taking a breath as she slipped his shirt back off her shoulders and deposited it on the floor. "Four years we have worked together...four years! He's shown no interest in that entire time... until last night, when you practically forced yourself on him" she
laughed at herself bitterly "You couldn't have been more desperate if you tried." She stepped under the shower and felt the water rush over her body. As the water warmed her flesh she could smell his aroma engulfing her once more, the scent of his aftershave, his sweat, his musk, the scent triggered memories from their night together and they flooded her mind.
'Oh God it had felt soooo good, so right' the water swirled around her but she barely noticed it, she was completely lost in the memory. 'His mouth, his kiss... it was so soft. His touch, it was amazing... no-one has ever touched me like that before.' She began to scrub her body, trying to forget the feeling of him 'It was wrong... it shouldn't have happened. Then why did it happen Dana?' she asked herself unconsciously 'Because I wanted it too...I needed him and he was their for me...he's always there for me... But it was wrong...' her mind switched tracks 'He probably just fucked you out of pity anyway! I mean you couldn't have been more desperate!'
"Shut up!" She said aloud before adding "Great...and now you have schizophrenia...I mean...I have schizophrenia?" She let out a deep sigh 'What am I going to do?' she thought to herself before her mind raced again 'he said he loved me!...No... I must have dreamt that bit!...or he tells that to everyone he sleeps with?'
x
Motel Room 303 7.59am
Fox Mulder awoke with a contented sigh and inhaled Dana Scully's scent deeply, all was right with the world, or so it seemed. Last night had been incredible, he had dreamed of furthering his relationship with his partner for such a long time, in truth even back on the first case they had investigated together he had felt an instant attraction to her, she had been able to trust him so easily and readily, it hadn't been love then but it had developed quickly.
He tried to adjust his eyes to the morning light, evidently in there euphoria last night they had neglected to draw the blinds. He reached his hand out lazily to find his sleeping partner, his new lover but instead found only empty space that was still warm, she could not have been gone long. He heard the shower in the adjoining room click off and felt a surge of mild panic rush through his body.
'What if she thinks last night was a mistake?' the question hung in his head for only a couple of seconds before he banished the notion 'No... I asked if she was sure...and she told me she loves me.' A smile turned up the corners of his mouth. At this moment in time he thought he might be the happiest man on Earth. After all he had been through, all they had been through together, he felt amazing.
It had surprised him how easily the words had come to him, 'Funny, I thought the words would be alien to me' he mused to himself 'I love you Scully' these words replayed in his mind. The words had come so naturally even though he had never uttered them before. The Mulder family wasn't renowned for expressing their emotions and after Sam had been taken he had all but shut down his emotional responses, that was until Scully had walked into his office.
A soft knock sounded at the door. He looked to the adjoining door perplexed for a moment before realizing the knock had come from the outer door. He stepped out of bed and pulled on his pants from the previous day, he scanned the room for his shirt but unable to see it answered the door topless.
He was welcomed with the sight of his petite red headed partner in front of him, studying her shoes as though her life depended on it. She struck him as being rather innocent, 'She certainly wasn't this shy last night'. His smile broadened and he realized his face must resemble that of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.
"Hi..." he said gingerly feeling a little awkward; he desperately wanted to pull her close into a long drugging kiss but resisted the urge wanting her to set the pace of their new found intimacy. She raised her head only high enough to see that he had no shirt on then returned her focus to the ground.
"Hi..." she replied feeling awful but needing to get this over with, she could not look at him, she was afraid she might rekindle the feelings within herself from the night before. She was embarrassed but she knew she had to say this and she knew it would not wait, so she steamed ahead keeping her attention firmly on the floor. "Mulder, about last night, I... you were so caring and consoling and I ... don't get me wrong I'm glad it happened..." Mulder felt his heart slowing "but it shouldn't have... I'm already involved with someone."
Mulder's heart sunk like a pebble thrown in the ocean. He hadn't anticipated this. He had asked her the night before if she was sure to avoid any regrets, so this, he could not comprehend. Realization hit him hard 'Don't think.' That's what she had said 'Don't think...Don't think about whether I am sure and I wouldn't think about the fact that I have a man waiting for me at home. How could she?'
Mulder suddenly felt like he was in an 'Itchy and Scratchy' cartoon and that his partner had just calmly reached into his chest, pulled out his heart, placed it in an evidence zip lock bag and passed it back to him still beating. He felt numb all over, he felt angry. How could she do this to him? He wanted to hurt her, he wanted to make her feel like she had made him feel. He couldn't look at her, not now, so he opted to look over her shoulder, not that it mattered, she was still studying the ground intently.
"Hey... it's not a problem, not like it really meant anything." He stated bitterly with a shrug "You needed someone and I was horny...you were just..." he paused for a moment trying to think of an appropriate word "...handy" he regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth; it wasn't how he felt at all but how could she be doing this to him?
"Right..." Dana stated emotionlessly "I just needed to confirm that there was no confusion." The tears were swelling in her eyes even as she made her mental swap to her alternate persona trying to suppress her emotion in a cool and methodical way.
"None what-so-ever." Mulder replied coldly. She turned and walked back into her room, not uttering another word. He barely had time to close the door before the anger and hurt caused tears to stream down his face. 'You should have known better.' he chastised himself on the spot. 'Why did you let her in? They always hurt you, Phoebe taught you that. They hurt you and they leave you. She was your best friend and now things will never be the same again.' He crossed to his overnight bag that was sat next to the adjoining door, she was on the phone. Her voice was hushed but clear.
"Hi, can I speak to Adam Wiseman please? Yes... in accounting." Her voice was soft.
'Great...' Mulder thought to himself 'pick now to over hear her on the phone to her boyfriend...When did she get a boyfriend anyway?...I didn't think we had secrets anymore?' Mulder slid the bolt across the adjoining door 'Screw this!' he thought as he headed to the shower, suddenly needing to wash her scent from him even though it was only minutes ago that it provided him such comfort.
x
Motel Room 304 8:26am
She heard the bolt on the adjoining door click loudly. She was still on hold. 'Why am I calling him?' she thought to herself 'What am I going to say - Hi honey, you remember that work partner I am always talking about, well I slept with him last night, hope you don't mind?'
"I am just transferring you now miss." The receptionist stated over the phone. The shower in the adjoining room clicked on 'Why should that bother me? I done the exact same thing myself not half an hour ago.' But it did bother her, more then she was willing to admit.
"Hi Dana" Adams familiar voice broke through the chaos that was her mind.
"Adam." She stated not really knowing what to say.
"Sorry but I am really busy, can I call you back?" He asked sounding harassed.
"Sur..." she was only half way through saying sure when the line went dead, no good bye or farewell. "Fine..." she said as she replaced the receiver on its cradle. "Whatever!" she screamed as she hurled the phone across the room, it hit the wall and broke into several pieces. She could still hear the water running in the next room, he was washing every trace of her off of his body. She had heard the rumors about him long ago, that he would use women and discarded them but she had thought they were just that, rumors. She had thought this would be different; she was his partner, his friend. A little voice popped up in her head 'But isn't that what you did to him? You used him!' she stood up from the bed quickly grabbing the rental car keys 'I have to get out of here... at least we go home today.'
x
Rental car On an unnamed road
She was driving too fast and she knew it, she wouldn't normally of driven this fast on roads she knew well, let alone ones she had never been on before. She needed to feel power. She wanted control. She needed to feel something other then numbness and confusion. She needed to feel something more than guilt and disgust. Her foot pressed harder on the gas pedal.
His words kept playing over and over in her head "You were just...handy" She loved him, of that she was sure, she couldn't not love him after working so closely with him for the past four years. She had used him, yes, she had needed comfort that she felt only he could give but she had loved him, she did love him. Now all she knew was that he thought she was just convenient. The tears stung at her eyes as they began to fall freely.
She flicked on the radio hoping to block his words from her mind.
The song played loudly through the speakers striking her (If you walk out on me...I'm walking after you...if you walk out on me) the song sent a jolt through her abdomen 'God please!' she thought looking skyward as she reached to change the radio station not sure if she was cursing God or preying that Mulder would come after her.
(One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do...Two can be as bad as one it's the loneliest number since the number one) she reached once more for the radios controls as she jerked the steering wheel sharply to allow for the severe bend in the road...she lost control momentarily.
x
Ten Minutes Later
'God that's a loud alarm' she thought as she reached out to silence the offending clock, she couldn't find the bed side cabinet 'but that's my pillow?' she thought confused as she opened her eyes. It of course wasn't her pillow, it was the inflated car air bag and the alarm that she thought she could hear was in fact the car horn continuously blasting.
She stepped out of the car touching her forehead 'God my head hurts' she thought as she removed her hand to find blood there. She looked at the tree and the mangled car that was now wrapped around it. 'This is going to be one expensive month on my visa' she thought as she removed her cell from her pocket to call the rental agency and break the bad news.
She had found how to disconnect the horn cable with a little over the phone guidance from the rental car receptionist; they were sending a towing vehicle for her that would drop her back at the motel. The receptionist had asked if she need medical assistance "No, I'm a doctor." She assured her feeling rather futile.
She only had to wait thirty minutes for the tow truck. Thirty more minutes worth away from Mulder. 'At least one good thing has come out of this' she thought to herself trying to look on the bright side 'Mulder's words are now being drowned out by the excessive pounding in my head.'
As the tow truck pulled up outside the motel Mulder was already waiting on the doorstep having received a call from the rental agency. 'Great.' She thought 'Just great' she jumped down out of the tow cab and headed straight for her door not once lifting her gaze.
"My God!" Mulder said in complete horror as he saw the front of the rental car completely caved in "What happened?" he demanded.
She mistook his concern for an accusation "Relax...I'll fucking pay for the damage." She stated angrily.
"You're hurt!" he exclaimed seeing the blood that had dripped down on her top, he desperately wanted to reach out and touch her to feel she was okay but something stopped him.
"Really?" she replied sarcastically, her defenses up "And there's me thinking I was the medical doctor." She slammed her motel room door firmly behind her.
x