Yeah, I've been procrastinating for a good while.

"So, how's death been, ze? Anything like what you expected?"

Sojiro simply shrugged. "I mean, I never really expected much other than some vague dark void thing. Right now, well, it's peaceful. Café's successful, there are no taxes, I'm just asked to bring something to the town, which people agree I do. It's odd that there's never really been an establishment much like mine here before. I've seen one café, but it's… Not doing as well as mine, to say the least."

"Heh, yeah… Well, it's just cause it didn't catch people's interests just as well as you did, ze. After all, nothing piques curiosity quite like a man from the outside staying after seeing this girl, ze." Marisa pointed at Reimu, making her grunt.

Sojiro let out a soft sigh. "Yes, I've been told about this many, many times. At least people kept coming back after each visit, though sometimes I do feel like an animal at a zoo…"

The witch simply giggled. "That was to be expected, ze. Not every day you get to see the dead walk around as if all was normal, right, ze?"

Sojiro rolled his eyes and turned the electric kettle on. Marisa started looking around, which made Reimu more and more nervous.

"Say, where's your niece, ze?"

Sojiro raised an eyebrow and Reimu began sweating bullets.

"Oh, she's just had enough human contact for the week, she was exhausted and needed to shut herself in her room. She can do this for days on end sometimes."

Marisa nodded. "She did seem very nervous around me, but not as nervous alone. Would correspond to a shut-in's behavior…"

Sojiro was getting a little worried. "What are you mumbling about?"

"Oh, it's nothing, ze, just some stray thoughts."

And then, the door opened again, and in came the woman from a few days ago, still dressed in what looked like pj's.

"Eh? What's Patchouli doing here, ze?"

"Welcome. Is there anything you want?"

Patchouli completely ignored both of them and sat down at the counter before opening a very, very heavy book with a loud thud.

"Woah, what's got you looking through a whole grimoire in here of all places, ze?"

"This place is enchanted."

Marisa and Reimu looked at each other, a bit dumbfounded. "Er… In what way?"

"I don't know. But it has to be the most powerful enchantment of all time to be able to get Sakuya to relax as much as she did during our visit."

"Uh… She's human you know, ze? Or at least feels human emotions, so she can feel relaxed."

Patchouli took in a deep breath. "Yes, but can you as much as picture Sakuya, the Perfect Maid, falling asleep in the middle of this place, with her mistress right in front of her?"

Both girls froze for a second, unable to say anything.

"Uh… Yeah, no I can't, ze." Marisa hopped down and peeked at Patchouli's grimoire, earning her a stern death stare from its owner. "Woah-ho! I'm not steal- er, borrowing your book, hands off, I promise!"

"I lost trust in your word a long time ago Marisa."

Sojiro leaned towards Reimu. "Does she steal things that often?"

He earned a nod. "She's a real kleptomaniac. She keeps justifying it as the youkai she steals from being alive for much longer than her, as she's just a regular human, so they'll be able to get it back once she's dead, or in her words, 'borrowing until she dies', but it's still a big issue, let's be honest."

Sojiro sighed. "Another troublemaker… Well, guess I'll count my mugs when she leaves."

"That's a wise decision sir. Like Reimu said, a real kleptomaniac, and the worst one I've ever seen in all my years of living."

"And how long is that?"

She slapped Marisa's hand away when it got a little too close. "Around a century. I don't keep track that much, since it's less important than my studies."

That caused Sojiro to frown. "That bad, huh…"

"Yes. Now, if you would kindly let me focus… Oh, and could I get a cup of coffee please?"

Sojiro nodded and checked the kettle. It was shaking and making a lot of noise, so it was going to be ready soon.

"So, what kind of enchantment do you think it is?"

"You think it's an enchantment too? I mean, it's mostly just atmosphere, if I'm being honest." Boss scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he turned to his bean shelf. "What kind of coffee would you like?"

Patchouli didn't even bother to look up at the man. "Uh… I don't really care. Maybe a different one from last time."

He nodded and picked a random jar on the shelf and put a few beans on the counter, but he didn't grind them yet, as he put the boiling water in one cup, followed by a teabag, then prepared the coffee in the other one. Sojiro then handed the cups to the two women in front of him before starting to grind the beans for the newest client.

"Thanks Boss."

"Thanks, ze!"

Marisa was a bit too eager in trying out her drink, she ended up burning her tongue, while Reimu giggled at what she saw before blowing on her drink. Meanwhile the ghost went to go start heating up some of the curry he prepared this morning.

"Huh, thought you'd make it in front of us, ze."

"It takes a while, so I'd rather avoid having customers wait with coffee as their one source of food."

"Maybe some snacks would do the trick, ze?"

"Well, even if I am used to making curry, making it that often in a single day would definitely make me end up hating making it, so I like what I've got going right now."

"Can't argue much with that, ze." Marisa blew on her drink a bit. "Say, what's with those weird cups? They're so much bigger than the regular ones. Is that how they are outside Gensokyo?"

"Yep. If you ask me, it's much more convenient. You can put much more liquid in it and you don't have to hold it with only one or two fingers."

Marisa looked at the item in her hands and decided to try holding it up and down, though slowly to avoid spilling the burning tea all over herself. "Huh, can't argue with that either, ze. Does feel much better. Maybe I should take one with me, ze?"

"Then it'll have to be 1300 yen."

"Oh, uh… Well, I don't have enough money for that on top of the food and drinks, ze… Maybe I'll come back someday to catch you up on that offer."

"As long as you don't try to steal it behind my back."

"Honestly, I kinda like this place, and I feel like angering you would only result in me being banned forever, ze."

"Not forever, just until you pay for it."

"Yeah, but still, it's one of those rare moments where, you know, eh, not really in the mood, ze."

Patchouli grumbled. "So she's been affected too… I have to find the source of this enchantment soon."

This led to Sojiro's own tired sigh. "Listen, if this really is an enchantment, is it even that bad? It's just making people relax more than they normally would allow."

"One: if you can affect people's moods like that, then there's no telling what else you could do. If you can fully alter their emotions however, what's stopping you from making everyone boil with rage and start a great war? Two: even if making people relax is all it can do, it's still an enchantment that is much more powerful than anything else I've ever seen in that sector, so I would like to study it at the very least."

Sojiro sighed. "So basically I'll have to get ready to have you come by every so often to try and find something that doesn't exist because you don't believe that this place's atmosphere would ever be enough to get that maid to relax to the point she falls asleep."

Patchouli stared directly at the man. "Nothing. I mean nothing. Has ever gotten Sakuya to relax to that point. None of us at the mansion believe it is not the result of powerful magic, not even Sakuya herself."

"Wish I was there to see her embarrassed and all that jazz, ze! Must've been hilarious."

"It was devastating to see someone I trust so much be this uncomfortable."

Marisa's mood soured a bit as she thought of what she would feel like if Reimu came back like this and wouldn't be cheered up with just a bit of teasing and laughing. "Well, at least you knew how to handle her, so all should be good now, right, ze?"

"She's been working even harder to try and 'fix it', even when all of us have been telling her that it's fine and that it means that she should actually rest. Anyway, I need to keep looking for the enchantment, so be quiet for a while, would you?"

"Hey, I'm not some kid, ze!"

"Marisa, drop it, or else it'll finish in a battle that nobody would like to have to deal with."

Marisa looked at Sojiro with a raised eyebrow. "Uh… You really are new here, aren't you?"

This led him to just sigh. "I know about your little game battle system thing, but don't you think that's just poking a sleeping tiger? Even if you don't end up hurt, you're going to waste energy that you could use for the rest of the day, and you can still damage things, so it's still highly dangerous. Have you never considered that some wildlife might have been chased out of its natural habitat because of one of your fights? Or that a building might crumble upon itself because you took a chunk of a wall off?"

Marisa ended up getting embarrassed. "W-well, uh, nobody's complained about it before, ze!"

"Have you ever considered that it's because they're scared that you'll kill them with a snap of your fingers?"

Marisa looked around the café to find that most people were looking away, looking clearly uncomfortable. "B-but I'm not a-"

"Marisa, stop, you're digging your own grave here."

Marisa turned to Reimu. "Come on, you aren't going to defend me here, ze?"

"I am defending you. Right now, it's better to acknowledge that yes, you got heated over nothing and provoqued Patchouli, even without meaning to. Just suck it up and apologize before you get yourself even deeper in trouble."

Marisa was shocked, but ended up letting out a sigh with her head hung down. "Okay, okay, I get it, ze. I'm sorry Patchy."

Patchouli simply sighed. "Whatever."

Marisa gave her fellow magician a death glare and got ready to stand up and yell at her for not accepting her apology, but Reimu held her back and shook her head, clearly telling her to not do this. The witch grabbed her hat and pulled it down in frustration before turning back to her tea and going to drink again. "There goes my good mood…"

Reimu pat her friend's back and smiled at her. "Hey, as long as you manage to remember that lesson for next time."

The witch grunted and took a sip of her tea. "You're one to talk, ze. Whenever you have something in mind and someone tries to stop you to just say hello, you'll go and beat them up in danmaku without a second thought."

Sojiro raised an eyebrow at Reimu, who blushed quite profusely. "Y-yeah, I… I have to work on that. I promise I'm not that much of a hypocrite."

Marisa giggled. "Yeah, I guess so. We do fight people without rhyme or reason, it's pretty much a greeting here, ze…"

"That sounds unhealthy, beating each other up as a greeting."

"It was a figure of speech. We don't actually say hello with a danmaku battle."

Patchouli let out a fake cough. "I don't know how many times you came to the mansion and fought us before even saying hello."

"Meiling tries to kick me out, you try to kick me out, and Sakuya is ready to kick me out if I even twitch in the wrong way, so I just wanna make it clear that I come to stay for a bit and not be the victim of a witch hunt."

"Why do you think we want to kick you out? I can't even begin to count how many books you've stolen-" "Borrowed." "STOLEN, from the library, and how many times you, well, beat us up for little to no reason!"

"I'm just taking precautions!"

"And making things worse and worse. If you didn't beat us up that often, I'm certain that, at the very least, Meiling would let you through. Sakuya would still be on edge because of your terrible kleptomania, but that would be one less enemy."

Marisa waved Patchouli away absentmindedly. "Eh, I mainly come to play with Flandre."

Patchouli sighed, but was thrown into a coughing fit. "Darn, I used up my voice more than I thought I would… -cough- Anyway, that is the only danmaku battle you throw in the manor that we accept. If you would simply calm down with your 'precautions', we would be far more peaceful with you."

Marisa frowned, but seemed to understand Patchouli's point. Her recklessness was throwing her relationships with the SDM down the gutter. But, while she was lost in thought, while she didn't speak, she worded one sentence that Reimu caught but didn't understand, as she was hidden between her hat and mug. The silence was awkward and only cut by Patchouli's occasional coughs and other customers circling every now and then. But thankfully, over time, the awkwardness dissipated.

Marisa finally sat up on the stool as she drank what was left of her tea in one motion. Once she set down her mug, she found curry, still steaming, in front of her, with Reimu examining a metal spoon in her fingers.

"Spoons? Well, I guess it's more practical than chopsticks… Alright, let's dig in then."

While Marisa started eating the food, Reimu shrugged and started eating too.

Marisa had never tasted anything that good in her life. Even Reimu, who tasted it before, couldn't help but shiver a bit.

"Oh my goodness… This is some of the best food to exist."

"I'm glad you think so. There's a reason the sign above the door says coffee and curry, and not just coffee."

Marisa snorted out a small laugh. "Gee, are you sure? I can't see why you would ever do that." She then quickly went back to eating, but she was more wolfing the curry down, leading to Reimu panicking a bit in fear of not having half of the plate, so she hurried and ate as quickly as she could too. Boss laughed softly and Patchouli ignored the two's shenanigans as she went back to studying the café, occasionally muttering to herself.

Let's hope I write the next chapter quicker.

Farewell, my subjects

Your Saltyness