Quinn, Negan, Daryl, Gabriel, and Elijah

Suddenly I woke up a little bit startled as I felt the carriage stop. I didn't realize I fell asleep. It was already dark at night. Negan was still sitting next to me on the carriage.

"Hey, you okay?" asked Negan frowning his eyebrows questioningly. I was a little bit confused.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I fell asleep," I said wiping my eyes, then glancing around. "Where are we?"

"Halfway. We just agreed on settling down for the night," he explained. I glanced at Elijah, he was asleep too. Then I glanced at Gabriel, our eyes met for a second, and then I realized Daryl was missing.

"Where's Daryl?" I asked.

"Looking for food," said Negan.

"Alone?" I asked a bit worryingly.

"He didn't go far," said Gabriel smiling at me gently. I nodded thanks to him, then I turned back to Negan.

"Let's get off of this thing," he suggested. As Negan was sitting between me and Elijah, I had to get down first to get out of his way. So I climbed down, while he woke up Elijah. Gabriel was resting a bit with his eyes closed.

"Hey, kid, we stop for a while. You should get off and stretch your legs," said Negan. Elijah nodded and gathered himself up. Negan climbed down, then we helped Elijah. I grabbed the long cushion from the carriage we were sitting on and lay it on the ground, so Elijah could lay down on it. I think his leg was broken, but I wasn't sure. Daryl and Maggie took care of him back at the infirmary, before Maggie left. Negan helped Elijah to the cushion and helped him lay down.

"Thank you," said Elijah. I got distracted by Gabriel who was trying to get off of the other carriage, but he was in pain too, so I hurried next to him and helped him down.

"Thank you, Quinn," he said smiling. Negan looked around in the meantime and found a log. He put it next to Elijah so Gabriel could sit down and he did so.

"We should look for firewood," Negan suggested, Gabriel and I nodded in agreement. So Negan led the way and I followed him. The moon was almost full so we could still see our way. I glanced at him as we were walking, he was still limping.

"Do you feel any pain besides in your leg?" I asked. He glanced at me and shrugged his shoulder.

"No," he said.

"I mean, where you got punched. Your stomach doesn't hurt or anything?" I asked. He started smiling.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," he said as he glanced at me.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to suddenly collapse on the ground and have internal troubles or…" I said but couldn't finish because he stopped and shut me up with a kiss. My hands were immediately on the back of his neck and he wrapped his arms around me. No Maggie, no Daryl, no one was out there to oppose us at that moment. So we were making out for who knows how long. When we finally stopped, we tried to catch our breaths.

"We should look for firewood," I reminded him.

"Mm-hmm," he said and pecked my lips quickly. "Yeah, let's go," he said and let go of me, but still held my hand in his hand.

"So… you're not in any pain, right?" I asked. He smiled again.

"No. My leg hurts and my arm hurts, but those are minor wounds. Nothing serious. How about your head?" he returned the question, now his smile faded away.

"Oh, it's okay now, I guess. I don't feel dizzy anymore."

"That was a hell of a headbutt," he said smiling again.

"Did I manage to wipe all of the blood off my face?" I asked.

"Yeah, you did," he said after taking a look at my face. He let go of my hand and we started collecting firewood.

"Do you really want to talk about Alpha or you just made that up?" I asked him deep in my thoughts.

"No, it's okay. I was just teasing you. Don't worry about me so much," he said smiling gently. He was honest I could tell.

"I always worry about you," I said very seriously. He chuckled embarrassedly.

"Glad to know that Dixon doesn't take up all of your worries," he said with a little bit of jealousy.

"I worry about everyone I love. I'm worried about Eugene and Jesus too," I said. I got very serious once again. "I miss Eugene."

"I know," he said gently. We were both holding firewood in our arms so he couldn't hug me or squeeze my hand or anything, so he tried to comfort me with his warm eyes. Then as soon as the next thought hit him, he turned his eyes away embarrassed as he continued: "I just… I'm just jealous sometimes because I wish you would care about me and worry about me as much as you do about Dixon," he said honestly. It felt like my heart fell out of my chest.

"Negan… You really think I don't care and worry about you? You can ask Eugene or Jesus or Daryl or even Carol about how much I cried when we were separated! I always care and worry about you!" I wish I didn't have my hands full because I wanted to hug him. But since I couldn't do anything, I just continued: "I joined this suicide mission just to make sure you are okay. I would never have the courage to do this! I never participated in any fights before! Not against Rick when I was on the other side and not against you! The only reason I'm here and I'm trying to act like I'm brave is because of you!" I stated. He was staring at me like every word I said went right into his heart. I got embarrassed for saying all that out loud so I turned my eyes away. "So don't think that you are less than anyone else I care about. Because I care about you the most," I said as I glanced back at him, then I quickly turned my eyes away once again. "We should… we should go back and make this campfire," I suggested as I turned my back on him. I started walking back and I heard him following me. He was unusually quiet. "And by the way, Daryl has no idea how much I worry about him because I never tell him. Only those know who witness it. The same goes for you," I added. He still didn't say anything. I had no idea what he was thinking and I felt so embarrassed for saying all those things out loud. I had no idea he was questioning my feelings for him. Am I not obvious enough? Every time he looks at me my knees are trembling and my heart wants to jump out of my chest. Every time he smiles, my face goes red. It happens so often, that it became the new color of my skin. How on earth could he question my feelings?

We went back to Gabriel and Elijah. They were right where we left them. And they were still in pain.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Yes. You took your time. Did you find firewood?" asked Gabriel.

"Yes, sorry, we were talking," I said and I put all the firewood on the ground. Negan put his load down too, crouched down, and started making a fire. I realized we needed some more seats, so I went looking for logs or stumps. Soon I found one and brought it back to the camp. Negan managed to get the fire going, by the time I brought the second seat. He sat down and I brought another one for Daryl. I sat down next to Negan and watched the fire. He didn't say a word since I told him everything. Did I say something wrong? I glanced at him as he was staring at the fire, spaced out. Soon, we heard some rustling of the leaves, someone was coming. I put my hand on my knife but then I saw Daryl emerging from the trees with two dead squirrels over his shoulder. He nodded to me, then glanced at Elijah and Gabriel, and sat down on my other side.

"Just two. Couldn't find more," he said as he pulled the squirrels off his shoulder and started skinning them. I turned my eyes away.

"It's okay. Thank you," said Gabriel.

"Can you make a stand?" asked Daryl as he poked my arm with his elbow to get my attention.

"Yeah, sure," I said and I stood up to look for suitable branches. At least I don't have to see him skinning the squirrels. Elijah fall back to sleep and Gabriel was resting with his eyes closed. When I brought back the branches I put them over each other and Negan held the two pieces together to help me. I fixed them with a rope, then set it up. By the time I finished, Daryl got the two squirrels ready too, so he placed them on the branch over the fire to get cooked. My eyes met with Negan's, but we still didn't say anything. I glanced at Daryl.

"Have you seen Jesus or Maggie?" I asked. Daryl glanced at me and shook his head slightly. There was a silent pause which Gabriel broke.

"Give her time. After what you did, again, she is going to see that you're useful," said Gabriel. Negan chuckled.

"Useful?" quoted Negan. "Nice wording. But no. I don't think so. She's always gonna see me as the murderer of her husband. Nothing else. This cannot be changed."

I turned my eyes to the ground. He was right. Maggie won't see him any other way. Daryl was listening to us, paying attention.

"We have to try and live in peace. There's no other option," stated Gabriel.

"Right. Did you tell this to Maggie?" asked Negan.

"Are you planning on leaving?" asked Daryl suddenly, staring at me.

"No… at least, not yet," I said glancing at Negan unsurely. "We don't know how long Maggie can keep this up. Seeing Negan every day. Remembering that night every day. Not yet, but sooner or later, I think we have to leave Alexandria," I said finally. Negan was softly nodding approving of my words.

"I don't want you to leave. Carol wouldn't want that either," said Daryl, trying to convince me.

"I know, Daryl, but… it's different. You hate Negan, but you can tolerate him… but Maggie… she wants to kill him. She said so herself," I said trying to explain. "We don't have to discuss this now, we're not leaving yet. We're tired and hungry. We go back to Alexandria and then figure something out," I stated. Daryl glanced at Negan, then back at me.

"It's a complicated situation," said Gabriel thinking out loud. "But I'm sure Maggie could be reasoned."

"No…" I said shaking my head slightly. "I don't want to live in fear. Maybe Maggie gets over it, maybe not. Maybe she gets angry and takes it out on Negan. Maybe Negan doesn't come home one day and I worry myself to death because the first thing I would think is that Maggie killed him," I kept explaining my feelings.

"I see," said Gabriel gently. "I'm sorry you feel this way."

"My feelings don't give a shit about… my feelings," I said and started frowning my eyebrows and smiling when I realized what I said. Negan and Gabriel chuckled, Daryl was smiling. After a couple of moments of pause, Elijah started talking, joining in the conversation. I didn't notice when he woke up.

"You're overthinking it," he said. "Negan is not the only thing on Maggie's mind. Surely, she is bothered by seeing him all the time, but Maggie has other problems to think about."

We all glanced at Elijah as he was talking, then there was another short pause.

"I'm still scared for his life," I said as I glanced at Negan and we locked eyes for a couple of minutes. Daryl turned the squirrels over the fire slowly.

"I'm not picking sides, but I'm against violence," stated Gabriel. "I don't approve of attacking each other inside the community. We have to fight together to survive and build Alexandria back up."

"Yeah," I said nodding in agreement.

"Tell this to Maggie too," Negan repeated himself. Gabriel nodded. I turned to Negan.

"Can I have a word with you?" I asked gently, quietly.

"Sure," he said, not knowing what I was going to ask. He gathered himself up and followed me into the woods.

This situation reminded me of when I was camping with Carol, Daryl, and Henry. We didn't go far, but just far enough not to be heard.

"What?" asked Negan.

"I know we didn't really have the opportunity to discuss this, but is it okay what I told them?" I asked unsurely.

"You mean waiting a little bit, then leaving?" he asked. I nodded. "Would you do that for me?"

"Of course," I said without hesitation. He nodded, approving of the plan.

"Alright. We'll see," he said.

He wanted to walk back to the camp, but I stayed in one place. I glanced up at the moon, then at him.

"You're not coming?" he asked.

"I just… remembered something," I said smiling.

"What?" he asked as he came back towards me. I wanted to tell him this, even though I was embarrassed, because I wanted to show him that he has no idea how much I love him.

"While I was banished from Alexandria, I was camping in the forest with Carol, Daryl, and Henry for a night. And there was a moment when I left the camp just like now, and I looked up at the moon," I did as I said, then I glanced back at him. "And…" I chuckled because of embarrassment and turned my eyes to the ground as I continued: "It's such a cliché, but I just thought that maybe you were watching the moon too, in that exact minute."

I felt my face was red. He didn't say anything for a while but then he stepped closer and slowly, gently embraced me. It felt so good to cuddle him like this. After a couple of minutes of silence, he spoke in a quiet, raspy voice.

"I was watching the moon every night. Maybe I did that night too," he said softly. I smiled as I buried my face in his chest. Then I looked up at him and our eyes met.

"If you want to leave Alexandria, I'll go with you. Just give me time to digest it and to say goodbye. And I'll go," I stated. He nodded, then slowly caressed my cheek.

"I should be the one who follows you wherever you go, not the other way around," he said.

"This isn't some cheesy teen drama, Negan. It's a matter of life or death. Your life. It's not funny and it's not a question," I said seriously. Then I leaned my head against his chest and stayed like that for a little while.

This time we didn't kiss. We were cuddling each other for god knows how long. I never felt this calm before.

…

Author's notes: Listen to "Say OK" by Vanessa Hudgens.

Lyrics don't match in some places, but mostly do, and I picked this song mainly because of the vibes and feelings.

Thank You for reading! ❤