Page 11

I sat in the car, panting, trying to catch my breath. It was all too much, it was all coming at me too fast. I cranked the old window down, letting in fresh air. I leaned over and opened the glove compartment, taking out my little yellow plastic turtle.
"This can't be happening." I sat the turtle on the dash. "Will, how can this happen to me?"
I turned and looked at the empty passenger seat next to me. It was in this very seat that Will had proposed to me. I had thought the course of my life was determined that night. I'd had no doubts when I said yes. I'd had no regrets, only excitement, when I'd given up my virginity on the spot, reclined in that seat, feeling that my future was sealed. He didn't have a ring, but had given me the turtle until he could afford one. It didn't matter, I knew I had his heart.
"But in the end, all I've got is you." I picked up my turtle and put him back into the glove box. In the end, once the screaming and fighting had subsided, Will and his family had moved away. I sighed and leaned back in the seat, closing my eyes.
There was an odd sound, and I felt something hard press into my head. Sensing I was in danger, I froze in mid-breath.
"So sorry to have to get your attention this way." A man's voice came from the back seat. "But you seem to talk to yourself quite a bit." His voice didn't sound threatening, but I knew that hard object was a gun.
"I hate to interrupt your train of thought, but I need to talk to you about Madlax."

He refused to give me his name, saying only that Madlax worked for him. I'd asked him to take away the gun, and he asked me if I was going to be reasonable. Not quite sure what he really meant, I agreed.
"So she's not hurt then, she's safe." I didn't care what he had to say, I needed to know this before anything else.
"Safe. And once she is done, she will return." he replied smoothly.
"And how much longer is that, exactly?" I thought myself brave to ask.
"When she is done." he answered again. I realized that he wasn't going to offer me any more information, so I remained quiet.
"First off, I would like to make it clear that I did not approve her actions in this matter. To do such a thing as she has done…I do not approve. But, seeing as you are now here- I will tell you a few things."
My mouth had dropped open in surprise, and he took my silence as his cue to continue.
"She was late reporting for duty on her last mission. She's never been late before. She also appeared to be somewhat…flustered. Her mind was not on her assignment."
My hand went up to my neck, and I was glad for the darkness, so he couldn't see the red of my cheeks.
"In her line of work, timing is of the essence. Any sort of breakdown is crucial and could potentially lead to injury or death. Do you understand?"
"Yes. I do." I felt a mixture of both guilt and anger welling up in me.
"Then it won't happen again." This wasn't a question, so I didn't answer him.
"Good." There was a small flash of light, and I realized he had lit a cigarette.
"Mind rolling down the window if you're going to do that?" My anger got the best of me, and I blurted it out before I could catch myself.
He rolled down the window and then sat back, a dark shadow with a small glowing button near his mouth.
"One more thing." He exhaled slowly. "Do you know how to use a gun?"
"Use one? I've never touched a gun in my life." I frowned. "I never had any reason to do such a thing."
"Well you might want to learn." He drew a long drag and tossed the cigarette out of the window.
"Agents make enemies. Madlax is no exception." He coughed slightly and went on. "And it is not our policy to provide protection to the spouses or…special interests of our agents."
"What are you saying?" I thought I knew, and I could feel a chill come over me. I hadn't really thought about all this before, but I knew he was right.
"What I'm saying is that you, being a….. a special interest of Madlax, should not expect any sort of help if you find yourself in trouble. Do you understand?"
"I understand." I swallowed hard. "I'm in this alone."