Negan and Daryl, in the forest

[Negan's point of view]

Dixon and I were staring at each other for a couple of minutes while both of us were thinking. I was alert in case he starts throwing punches again. I wiped some blood off my mouth. This jerk made my lip split.

"So what should I do, Dixon?" I asked again glancing at him.

"You definitely shouldn't leave her like that, without saying a word," Dixon said grumpily.

"So what? I go back with you and wait for Maggie to execute me?" I asked again. Dixon seemed to be deep in thoughts. He turned his eyes away, grabbed his crossbow, put it back over his shoulder, then glanced at me.

"I'll make sure Maggie won't hurt you," he said finally.

"That's not enough. Carol is making sure, everyone's making sure, yet we live in fear because you can't be next to us every time, guarding us," I said.

"Just come back and we'll figure something out. This is definitely not solvin' anythin'," he said and headed back towards Alexandria. I threw my arms, didn't know what to do. So I followed him.

…

Quinn, Alexandria

[Quinn's point of view]

Half of the day went without any incident, but then I caught from the corner of my eyes that Maggie's companions were staring at me, whispering to each other.

"I should go," I told Carol. She glanced at the bunch then back at me.

"What the hell is wrong with them?" asked Carol disapprovingly. I took my gloves off, put them back in the toolbox, and wanted to hurry away to my house, but I wasn't quick enough.

"What's up, Quinn? Did you finally break up with that creep?" asked a guy. Maggie didn't react in any way, but she was listening.

"Or did he leave you?" asked another one.

I felt tears stinging my eyes and suffocating my throat once again.

"Hey, that's enough," Carol called them out but they didn't stop.

"I hope he never comes back!" yelled one of them after me as I was hurrying towards my house.

"Stop this childish bullshit," said Maggie to her companion but it was too late.

"Quinn?" called Carol but I ran away. I ran to my house, shut the door behind me, and collapsed on the ground. What if they're right? What if Negan left me? Where the hell is he? What is happening? And why are those motherfuckers bullying me? I felt like I was about to have a panic attack, for the first time after a long period.

I heard some noises from outside. Those idiots were following me?

"Hey, Quinn, I would date you if that murderer dumps you! Or am I not psychopath enough for you?"

"Quinn, how can you live with an asshole like that?!" someone else yelled.

"Enough of this!" I heard Carol's voice. "Maggie, could you please stop your friends?"

"I tried but…" said Maggie simply, shrugging her shoulder.

"You can't be serious, we already talked about this, several times!" Carol insisted.

"Carol, I don't care about Quinn or Negan. I'm sorry, but I don't. These are my friends but they say whatever they want. I'm not part of this," stated Maggie, trying to distance herself.

"But Negan isn't even here!" said Carol raising her voice a bit, then she continued in a calmer way. "I know you're tired and triggered and still hungry, but this is not solving anything! Negan changed and admitted he shouldn't have done what he has done! And Quinn didn't even do anything, she just fell in love with the wrong person!"

"Negan never told me he regretted anything and even if he did, I wouldn't believe it! Carol, he was gloating! He was smiling while killing Glenn! He was smiling!" said Maggie desperately.

"I know, Maggie, but he changed! Trust me, please!" Carol was trying hard but Maggie didn't listen.

"I don't give a shit. Glenn isn't here because of him. End of the story. And I didn't do anything, they're the ones yelling at her, not me," said Maggie simply, trying to justify herself.

"No, they are your friends, you provoked them by telling your story, so you should stop them!" said Carol.

"Okay, this is not civilized behavior!" I heard Gabriel's voice this time, yelling at the group. "What the hell were you thinking?! We're trying to build Alexandria back up, to make it safe and livable again and you're focusing on childish things like bullying?! You are grown-up men!"

Gabriel wasn't yelling too often, so Jesus and Aaron came to see what was going on and Lydia and Henry stuck their heads out through the window.

"Maggie, what are you doing?" asked Jesus disbelievingly. "You almost lost your mind in the tunnel as well. What's going on? I thought we were already past this."

"How can all of you move on so easily?!" asked Maggie yelling, now she was suffocating by tears, she was breaking. Carol noticed Henry and Lydia in the window and quietly formed the word Hershel with her mouth. They understood immediately and they hurried over to Maggie's house, to keep the kid away from this scene.

"Maggie, no one moved on!" said Aaron. He felt like he should speak now, as he was there that night too. Maggie started sobbing quietly as her friends patted her shoulders gently. "Maggie, no one moved on," repeated Aaron as he stepped closer to her, then continued: "Nothing can justify his actions and I wanted to kill him too, but we are down on people and however hard it is to admit, he is smart and he can fight. He was useful several times. He saved Judith and Lydia. He helped you get all that food just now."

"Nothing can justify, but he has changed," said Gabriel. "I can confidently say that because I helped him. And he does everything to be useful, to help us. Judith and Lydia likes him too, and if he didn't do what he did, he would be a part of this group."

"But he killed Glenn and Abraham! Sasha and Carl died because of him too! And so many others! Aaron, your boyfriend died because of him!" Maggie insisted. Aaron's mouth winced at these words, but he kept eye contact and didn't say anything.

"Maggie, look at me," said Gabriel gently. "Calm down, take deep breaths. I know it hurts. Let it all out."

"How can he live happily ever after and I can't?!" she continued. "Hershel grows up without a father, because of him! Glenn should be alive and Negan dead!" she said sobbing. Every word she said was a knife in my heart.

Jesus and Carol looked at each other, shaking their heads disapprovingly. They had no idea how to solve this situation. After Maggie calmed down a bit, Carol stepped to her.

"What would make you feel better?" she asked.

"Negan dead," she said without hesitation.

"So Quinn should suffer? She didn't do anything," said Carol.

"Kill her too, I don't care…" she said.

That's it. I didn't want to listen to this anymore. Negan was right we should have left Alexandria. And now he wasn't even here, probably he left me with all this bullshit. I gathered myself up and left through the back garden. I climbed over the fence and ran.

"Maggie, you're not serious," said Jesus gently.

"They shouldn't be happy. They don't deserve it," stated Maggie and left with her friends.

"What should we do?" asked Gabriel.

"I don't know…" Jesus threw his hands clueless. "Did she listen to all this?" asked Jesus pointing at the door. Carol walked up to the porch and started knocking on the door.

"Quinn? Quinn, open up, it's just me, Gabriel, and Jesus now. Please?"

But no answer came. Quinn was long gone.

"Quinn?" asked Jesus too, but nothing. They glanced through the windows, but the house was empty. "Maybe she's upstairs," Jesus suggested.

"Or left," said Carol as she knew Quinn way too well.

…

I just left. My tears couldn't stop.

All the stress, all the hatred... I couldn't take it anymore. I thought we could live next to each other, without seeing each other every day with Maggie, but she was vengeful. I was scared and I didn't know what to do. Also, the thought that Negan doesn't feel the same way as I do, it all pushed me to run away. I felt alone once again.

It all burst out of me. I didn't even realize I was running, but I was. I headed to the wall. I wanted to get out unnoticed. So I hurried behind one of the houses and climbed outside. I jumped down and kept running while seeing nothing because of my tears. Everything was swirling inside my head. Negan doesn't love me, I scared him away with my feelings… Carol is completely fine without me. She doesn't need me anymore… if she ever did at all.

I was trying to be strong to protect Negan from Maggie, but I suppressed all the pain I felt because of her hatred. I felt like I didn't deserve it, but at the same time, I could understand her completely. Yet it still hurt. Understanding her made it even more painful.

And not to mention Daryl… he got Connie back so he is going to have another sister and he can talk to her about Leah and everything… I was not needed anymore…

Negan probably left Alexandria without me. I was too tired and heartbroken to think straight. I felt like I was not needed because that's what Maggie made me feel. That's what Negan made me feel.

Maggie stated she wants me dead too. I just couldn't believe it. We spent some time together and yet… She acts like I was an enemy all along. I kept running while trying to wipe away my tears. It was a long time ago I had a mental breakdown like this, but I had to let it all out. I wanted to scream and punch something or someone. I was running like crazy I had no idea how far I got from Alexandria. And of course, as I was running blinded by tears, I stumbled and fell. I felt a warm, pounding pain in my leg because I hit it on a rock. I sat up and tried to look at it. The stone tore my trousers and I saw blood. Of course, I survived a murderous group of well-trained soldiers and I get injured by tripping over my own helplessness.

I tried to wipe away my tears once again, but I couldn't, they just kept falling. So I gave up and lay back down on the ground, crying. I felt a burning pain in both of my lower arms too, because I was trying to dampen the fall with them and they got scratched by twigs and rocks. I covered my eyes with one arm and I was just sobbing in the woods, on the ground, without anyone knowing.

…

Author's notes: Listen to the "Numb" cover by Halocene (originally from Linkin Park, but it's for Quinn so female cover ❤).

Thank You for reading! ❤

(Next chapter on Monday! ❤)