Decisions

She was so beautiful, dressed in the white gown. She had always been beautiful, but today there was none living, whether human or angel, that compared to how lovely she looked to him. He stood next to her, dressed in the only clothes he owned, jedi robes.

"Anakin," she spoke his name, and it made him smile. "Are you sure this is the right thing? I don't want you to ever have to chose between me and the Jedi, and I fear that if we go through with this, if we marry, then your loyalties will always be torn. How could you live like that? It would destroy you."

He loved her. He loved her more than life, more than anything. If there was any cause he would die for, it would be her. He went to her side, wrapping his arms around her waist, "Between you and the jedi, there is no contest of loyalty. My life, loyalty and love belong to only one person."

The doubt evaporated from her eyes, and love once again filled her gaze. He could sense that somewhere within her restrained conscious there was a flicker of doubt, but she knew the simple truth. It was all that she was thinking of now. They were destined to be together, they had been from the moment they had met.

Her gaze moved suddenly. He followed her line of sight and saw Threepio leading the holy man across the veranda. "Are you ready?" he asked his bride.

She looked back at him, sincerity in every word. "Yes, I am."

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Anakin drew a painful breath. His saber lay deactivated on the sand beside him. There on his knees Anakin began to understand this agony. Death. It was suffocating, making his head spin and his eyesight fade. Breathing brought on excruciating pain. How could this happen?

Gritting his teeth he did what he was always taught. He closed his eyes and searched the force, looking for the explanation. Even as he let the force flow into him, screams roared in his ears, screams of torment. Anakin found himself crying out, joining the anguished voices. Then he understood. Many Jedi were dying, crying out and then silenced. Being powerful in the force was his curse. Because of this power, he could feel the death of his people as strongly as if it was happening to him. The feeling was so strong, he thought it might kill him.

He knew he should close himself off from the force, block out the terrible rumination, but he couldn't, not yet. Stretching out further into the force nearly made him retch, for it was unbearable, but he had to find her.

At last there was a glimmer in the force, he found her, and he sensed her pain. She was suffering, maybe even dying. Anakin tried to reach her, but then she was suddenly gone. Anakin had to retract his reach, for he was so overwhelmed by the horror that was gripping his soul. He shut out the force, allowing himself to breath.

Then his gaze moved up, as he looked back at Obi-Wan. His old mentor sat upon the ground, clutching his fists and resting his face against them. "No . . . no . . .no," Anakin heard his master moan.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin asked, "what's happening? Jedi-"

"It's Sidious," Obi-Wan said at last, "It must be."

The fear Anakin had struggled against for all his life suddenly crept back. It climbed up from the pit of his stomach and gripped his heart in a tightening grasp. Everything flooded back to him, the deaths of the jedi, Padmé's unknown fate, the fate of his child, everything, yet what tortured him most was the memory of his failure the last time he faced Sidious.

"There's nothing we can do Obi-Wan," Anakin insisted. "We have to run."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan began. "We will go to the haven, but first we must return to Coruscant. It's our duty to help any survivors."

"And get ourselves killed in the process?" Anakin asked. "There is nothing on Coruscant, Master. Only death."

Obi-Wan's expression changed, it was reflective and rueful. He at last realized the wise jedi his former padawan had become. "Are you so sure?"

"I know what you want from me," Anakin began, painfully. He sensed death, much of it, but what he couldn't tell Obi-Wan was the death he felt most was his own. "I'm the chosen one, right? You're looking to me to destroy the sith."

"That is your calling," Obi-Wan said. A slight doubt had always lingered in Obi-Wan, Anakin could sense it, and at this moment, Obi-Wan's words were that of the council, not his own.

"You don't really believe I am, do you? You never thought I was the one the prophecy told of." Anakin pressed.

"I never disbelieved, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, sincerely. "Wiser masters than me said you were destined by the Force to be the Chosen One."

"A wise master once told me something," Anakin began, he gaze moving to the sand beneath him. "He told me that choices are what shape our destiny. The decisions I make will determine if I fulfill my purpose or if I fail. What if I want to fail?"

"Anakin, can you even hear yourself?" Hurt and distress came across Obi-Wan's face. "Why are you saying this?"

"I can't base my life on what everyone expects of me. I know I can't do this Obi-Wan. I've failed everyone. Padmé is the only person that I have never failed, and I won't fail her now. I know she needs me Obi-Wan, I have to find her."

Obi-Wan rose stiffly and moved over to his friend's side. Resting his hand on Anakin's shoulder he said, "Anakin, this is your destiny. If your turn your back on the galaxy now, then we are all lost."

Anakin's gaze was distant, and his voice was weighted by much thought. "A man is born for a purpose, and he lives until his purpose is fulfilled, you told me that."

Obi-Wan understood now, but he could not contradict Anakin's fear.

"Master, if I was meant to save the galaxy, then I know what awaits me on Coruscant. I will have to die to stop this . . . won't I?" If I die, his thoughts began, but he stopped them there.

"I don't know, Anakin," Obi-Wan admitted gently. "But you can not let fear-"

Anakin shook Obi-Wan's hand from his shoulder. "Fear has nothing to do with it!" he spoke harshly. "It's about my choice. What if I choose that something else is more important to me?"

It was selfish, he knew, but the choice was clear in his mind. He had to abandoned something, whether the Order or Padmé. The choice was simple, for that decision had been made in his heart long ago. Padmé needed him, and he would not abandon her.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan began tentatively, "if there is something more for you to live for . . . the future is never clear. Besides, I'm not certain how a dead man could defeat a sith."

Obi-Wan's dry humor felt raw and uneasy. Anakin couldn't shrug it off. He stifled a curse. He had promised Padmé those years ago that there would never be torn loyalties, that his whole devotion was hers. While Anakin could turn his back on the Order, he suddenly realized that by doing so, he would turn his back on the only brother he ever had.

Obi-Wan seemed to sense his confusion, his doubt. "Listen, we don't have to face Sidious, in fact it's probably best to avoid confrontation now. Let's go to Coruscant and see to our fellow jedi. Once everyone we can find is safe at the haven, then you can decide what you will do. If at that time you chose . . . I will take you to Padmé."

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A/N: Once again, thank you reviewers. Alley Parker, dracowantsme, LadyKelina, padme17, Still Running, and fellowwriter05, thank you for your reviews. It was great to hear from you. A few of you seem concerned about Anakin, but hopefully this chapter eased some of your worries.

At this time, I would like to ask for your continued reviews. For those that don't like to review, even one word is enough. To hear readers' reactions is the number one reason I started posting. Thanks again. Until next time,

WizardWriter86