Chapter 4: A Secret Kept

Saturday

Ellie Nash woke up around ten and looked around. She didn't want to have to face her mother, Alex, or anyone else for that matter. It was Saturday and Ellie felt sore from the previous night. She wanted nothing more than to forget about getting fired and asking Alex if she could put in a good word for her at the theater.

Suddenly, Ellie heard the sound of the doorbell from her room. Whenever someone rang it, the sound seemed to vibrate throughout the whole house. Another way she could tell that it was the doorbell was because almost simultaneously, her mother moaned.

Ellie dragged herself out of bed and downstairs towards the front door. The doorbell rang once more.

"I'm coming!"

Ellie yawned sleepily and opened the door, surprised to see Craig.

Craig. Oh God, this was the day I wanted to hang out with him. Oh Jesus, I'm still in my pajamas.

"Hey, Ellie. Umm...nice pajamas?" Craig snorted out, laughing.

She gave him a half smile and rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I just woke up. Umm..." Ellie looked at her mom who lay on the couch and thought for a second. She couldn't let Craig see her. He might have the same parent problems but her mother just plain embarrassed her.

"Can I come in?" Craig asked softly, peeking inside.

Ellie bit her lip. She couldn't just leave him outside waiting as she took a shower, got dressed, and had breakfast. Craig was her best friends and she couldn't just leave him alone.

"Y-yeah...come in, Craig. You can wait up in my room. You can watch TV while I get ready." She offered politely, praying that her mom wouldn't stop them before they could make it upstairs.

He nodded and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. Craig looked around, admiring the cream colored walls of the kitchen and the lime green and white curtains that attached to the windows. It seemed more like home to him than his father's house ever did. As they passed Ellie's mom, who lied on the couch, Craig could sense her embarrassment and uneasiness just by the way she looked at him before walking up the staircase.

When they reached her room, Ellie closed the door and locked it out of habit. Craig sat on the one person bed and looked around, taking in the band posters that hung on the wall. After a few moments of an uncomfortable silence, Craig finally spoke up.

"So...how long do you think it'll take you to get ready?"

"About half an hour. Is that alright? I mean, you can go home if you want and come back..." Ellie replied as she searched her closet for her clothes.

Craig waved it off. "Yeah, that's cool. I can wait, no big deal. I'll just watch TV."

Ellie smiled warmly at him, grateful that he did not ask about her mom and grateful that he would not leave. After she showed him how to use the remote, she grabbed her clothes and headed into the bathroom to take her shower.

It was about fifteen minutes before she finally got out of the bathroom, dressed in black stockings, black boots, and a long black shirt decked out in black eyeliner. Craig eyed her up and down, taking in her appearance. It wasn't uncommon for her to dress like that but when she did, he felt something inside that made him feel...nice inside.

"You look..."

Ellie looked at him, feeling self-conscious. It was taking a little long for him to continue his sentence and it scared her.

Oh my god...he thinks I'm ugly. Shut up Nash, the boy may not have high standards but he's not stupid.

"Great." Craig finished, smiling at her. He didn't want to say beautiful, and sound too forward. If he said the wrong thing, he would get crucified.

Ellie smiled, satisfied with his answer. "Thanks, Craig. Do you want some breakfast?"

"No time, we can have breakfast somewhere. Let's go..."

Ellie was surprised at his impatience but agreed to go. "Where do you want to go?"

He thought for some time. "We could go to the park, if you want. We can swing and eat. There's a small food place there." Craig noted.

Ellie shrugged, not able to think of anywhere better to go. "Alright, we'd better get going before it turns into lunch instead of breakfast."

About twenty minutes of walking, they finally arrived at the park and walked towards the food place first, where Ellie got a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin and Craig bought a bagel with cream cheese and a cartoon of orange juice.

The two decided to sit on the swings while they ate and drank.

"It's warm for fall, isn't it? I didn't think about the weather when I got dressed." Craig admitted.

Ellie looked over at him and saw that he had a black leather jacket on over the top of what looked to be a dark green shirt. She watched as he took off the jacket and threw it on the grass beside him. When he went to reach for his bagel that Ellie was holding in her hand, she noticed a faint outline of a bruise that enclosed around his wrist. She didn't want to make any implications so Ellie tried to put it out of her mind. Finding it difficult, Ellie looked down at her wrists and was reminded of past mistakes and regrets. She felt warm as well but her arms were covered at least.

"Paige told me that you're working at the movies now as a butter girl. What happened at The Dot?" Craig asked her, taking a bite out of his bagel.

Ellie looked away, ashamed. "I got fired. I can't do anything right. I try to fix my family but I just make it worse. I try to earn some money and I turn out to be the biggest klutz and accidentally spill coffee on the customers. What's wrong with me?" She asked sadly, letting it all spill out.

Craig finished his bagel and looked at her, concerned. "There's nothing wrong with you. It's not your job or responsibility to fix your family. They should be able to fix themselves, and as far as work is concerned, the boss at The Dot is just an asshole. I wouldn't take it too personally."

Ellie smiled weakly but rested her head against the swing, unable to finish her muffin. She knew that she was being depressing, but she couldn't help it. She didn't mean to sound so emotional when Craig probably had bigger problems in his own life to worry about.

"I'm sorry, Craig. We can talk about something else if you want. I seriously need mean to sound so emotional..." Ellie apologized sincerely.

He drank some of his orange juice. "Nah, it's alright. You're not making me sad or anything. I just want you to be alright. It's been awhile since you last...you know, cut. I'm really proud of you, El. You've been able to talk about your feelings and everything; you don't feel like you have to cut."

Ellie suddenly felt an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach and knew she had to tell him the truth.

I can't. I can't tell him that I cut last night. I could really use people that are proud of me right now. If my parents can't be proud, I'd be grateful that Craig can. I'm not going to lose that.

Ellie smiled a little and nodded. "Thank you, Craig. I'm really glad we could hang out..."

He could sense that a million things were going on in Ellie's head and he longed to know what she was thinking, or if she was enjoying his company as much as he was enjoying hers.

"Anything on your mind?" He asked casually, throwing out his carton in a nearby trash can.

This was the opportune moment. If she had anything to say to him, now was the time. It was now or never.

"Nope. I'm good." She lied.

Oh how simple and easy it was to lie. It was almost too easy. She felt bad that she could even lie to his face like this, but it helped her feel better about keeping her secret a secret.

If anyone here has anything they would like to say, say it now or forever hold your peace...