A/N: Sorry that it's been a while! This one should make up for it!

WARNING: Adult material and adult language

I am trying to read a novel. The operative word there being, "trying". I am too distracted by my younger brothers' attempts of playing with a spoon. He's bored, like me, but unlike me, he can't find something normal to do. So instead he's flipping a spoon, and trying to make it to do a perfect three-sixty and land face up. I don't know why I am allowing it to bother me, but that kid just pisses me off. I don't know why I am paying attention to it either, but deep down somewhere inside of me, I kind of want to see the spoon successfully flip, and that confession is angering me more. I try to go back to my book, but I just can't. Finally, I slam my fists down onto the table.

"What", Nosedive asks innocently.

"Would you stop that", I ask him annoyed.

"No", he states smiling, and resumes back to the spoon.

I growl at him, and once again try to concentrate on the book at hand. It might help if the book actually had a plot, but hey, at least it makes me look intelligent, unlike some people. I glare at him for extra measure, and he knows it, so what does he do? He infuriates me further and grins. Stupid brat knows he's getting to me. I punch him in the arm, hard. He looks up slightly, and grins. I should punch him again for being so damn obnoxious, but ah, I can't, and he knows he's won. His happiness is infectious. Damn kid could out grin anyone, one look at him, and you're done, it's impossible to be mad at that kid. He's one of those people that can turn boys and girls on without even meaning to. People are attracted to his craziness. I return to my book, but instances later, I am once again interrupted from my brother, as he lightly kicks my shoe. I look at him, but he isn't looking at me, and I know immediately what his intentions were.

I look to my left and see Duke standing there. Too bad it wasn't someone else, Duke is hard to read.

"What's up?" I ask.

He says something but I can't make it out. I can determine that he is asking me a question based on facial expressions, but I can't separate the words from each other. He's asking me if I have seen something of his, which is easy for me to answer, I can just reply that I haven't seen it, it doesn't really matter what it is, or if I have seen it or not.

"Sorry Duke", I say.

I can't add more because I can't tell if it would fit the context. "Sorry Duke", covers it nicely. However, this answer doesn't settle him. He says something again, it starts with a "but", and it ends with "last", although when it pronounces it, it would seem to look like "lass". But considering the context, I am positive the word is "last". I had something of his last and as I search my brain to remember anything that I could have borrowed, but thankfully I am saved by that idiot brother of mine. I can tell, because Duke changes his eye contact to behind me, and so as I look, I make out the last few words that my brother has said. "…put it in the wash."

By the time I look back to Duke to study his beak, he has finished whatever he has had to say, and looks content with whatever excuse my brother came up with. As he leaves, I snap my head around to my brother.

"He wanted to know where his sweatshirt was", Nosedive states plainly, "I told him that I had borrowed it from you, and then put it in the wash."

I nod my head, and ruffle my brother's hair, he smiles up at me, and goes back to playing with that spoon again.

Confused? Did you miss what just happened? That was my "thank you" to my brother, and his smiling was his "your welcome".

Ah, but brotherly interactions isn't what you're confused about, now is it? I WildWing Flashblade, captain of the Mighty Ducks, am deaf.

Yes deaf, as in, can't hear, yup, that kind of deaf. Still confused? Allow me to explain this lovely predicament that I have found myself in.

Yes, I am deaf. Although you'd never know it. I'll explain why I'm hiding it, just hold on, you impatient imaginary person. Okay for starters I have an excellent grasp on the English language, (most deaf people don't), I didn't go to a traditional deaf school, but I was mainstreamed, and so I am fluent in English. Yes, sign language, (my language of choice) and English are two completely different languages with different syntaxes. I have taken the liberty to translate all sign language interactions with my brother to English for you. Your welcome.

Okay next. Most deaf people can't speak and sound like a hearing person, or so I have been told, I've never been able to "hear" the difference. Speaking is based on mimicking what you hear. Hello, deaf people really can't do that, so they speak differently than hearing people. So, why can I speak? I lost my hearing at five, (pneumonia), and by that point in one's life, you have heard enough of the words to mimic them correctly. Also, I've had extensive, and I mean border-line-abusive extensive training in speaking, and in lip reading. Why can I lip read so well? Because of all that training, short and simple.

What, you don't think I handled the Duke situation very well before? Allow me to explain. He speaks with a heavy, and I mean heavy accent. I can rarely understand what he is saying. He rolls certain words, and his "r's" get lost many times. Many words that end in "er" become lost to the "r's". It is very frustrating to read his lips.

Tanya is another one, because she has somewhat of a tendency to stutter, although she has gotten better at it. Grin is another one that gives me some problems. Not because he doesn't articulate well, but because he says well, weird things. Sometimes, I have to have Nosedive affirm he said what he said, because of the statement's abnormality. But I've learned tips to deal with him; he usually just says statements, so with simple statements such as "That is true", or "Good point", I can usually get away with it.

And then there is Nosedive. Nosedive is the one person that I can trust. I have always been able to trust him, and he truly is one of my best friends, despite his annoying tendencies, like that him playing with spoons. For anything that I can't translate for myself, Nosedive is always there to back me up in someway. If it has to do with him making something up, like he just now did, (which reminds me, I need to go wash his stupid sweatshirt now), or to him restating the question in an inconspicuous way, or to the most extreme him translating it quick so no one sees it, I can always understand my brother. And if we're by ourselves, with all doors shut, he can sign, fluently. He is the only person on this planet that I can "talk" with, fully and completely, and for that I cherish our relationship, more than I ever have.

Now the juicy stuff. Yes, I don't want people to see the signs. I don't want anyone on this team to know that I am deaf. I've never pretended to be hearing in my life before, but I am now, and so far, so good. Oh, and Nosedive knows better than to tell, yeah I've dragged my sixteen year old brother into this.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I torture myself so? Why do allow this lie to slowly kill me? Well, actually, this "suicide", was all Canard's brilliant idea. When he took me onto the team, he told me to hide my deafness, (he actually has a basic grasp on the language). He had said that if the enemies found out, they could use it against us, but most of all because he didn't want people to think that I was "handicapped" (many deaf people don't think deaf as a handicap, because if everyone was deaf, it wouldn't be a problem, so that word causes controversy, but what do I care?) on our own team. He didn't want anyone, namely Duke, (he didn't trust him yet), taking advantage, and he didn't want anyone, namely everyone, (well Mallory more than the others), second guessing me.

I now know, that they wouldn't have a problem with it, because I have proved myself, but yet, something inside of me, won't let me give up being hearing just yet. I don't know what it is. I've never really been experienced with deaf pride; I can't really relate to them.

Yes "them" as in other deaf people. Oh, another thing you should know. I don't associate myself with deaf, deaf culture, or deaf pride, nor do I associate myself with hearing culture. I just don't identify myself because it's too confusing, and one of my deepest personal problems. I hate myself for it, and than I guilt myself for feeling self-hatred on something like being deaf. Maybe that is why it is so easy for me to pretend to be hearing, and maybe that is also why it is so hard to give it up. Yes, I am a depressed little deaf boy, deal with it.

I bet that's something you wouldn't have thought of this so-called fearless leader. Ha. There's a lot of things I've done you probably wouldn't attribute to me either. I'm not so perfect if you really knew me. I've done things you'd blush yourself silly over. I've done drugs, I've been low, only to get high. I've considered suicide, I drink to forget, and I have, and will resort to violence. I disgust myself, and have no self-esteem. See? I'm not so perfect. But this was all teenage angst. I thought I had handled it. I changed my life. I got an education and I found a new hobby; I had a good thing going for me. I had myself a good job, a good girl, and a good home. Then all of a sudden in a matter of hours I become captain of this team. I never wanted this. Never. And with this new life, all my angst has returned, and I can't stop it. I hate it here, and I want to go home. I want out. But I'm not supposed to think like this, I'm supposed to be the perfect, fearless leader. I'm not supposed to be hiding my deafness like it be a disease, I'm not supposed to be forcing a child to lie and watch out for me, to uphold this fabrication, and yet I am. Ha, what a joke I've turned out to be.

But don't you judge me. You don't know me. You thought you did before, remember? You were wrong about my perfect little life, and you're wrong now too. You have no idea. The frustration of restriction is beyond comprehension. The fact that people view me as inferior and stupid, and see my language as retarded, is what I've dealt with my entire life. So don't you judge me. You don't know me. Did you know that I've had Dive in my custody since he was fourteen? Did you know that I helped my mother overcome her grief of my father's death, while I was battling my own? Did you know that at sixteen I took the pills from my mother away, brought to the hospital, and waited the night out? Did you know I suffered the humiliation of a stepbrother, throwing his hands in front of my face, mocking me, in front of my friends, and teachers, and still said nothing, to keep the peace for my family? Did you know that no matter how much shit I get forced to deal with, and no matter how much I want out, I will never, ever leave anyone behind? I am a good person, son, brother, and fuck it, captain too. But I bet you didn't know that either.

I zone back to reality and see Nosedive is trying to get my attention, he's been shaking my arm for a while.

"What", I finally say.

"I'm bored", he says.

"I know", I reply, "Go read something."

He pouts.

"What do you want me to do", I ask him

He smiles mischievously, and before I know it, I'm pinned on the floor, with my brother sitting on top of me. I do love this kid, he is constant hope, and sometimes I think, if not for him, I would have pulled that trigger a while ago. But as much as I would like to run, I never turn my back on my responsibilities, especially my most important one. I smile back, and flip him over, and the two of us engage in a wrestling series. It doesn't take long, before I successfully pin him, and sit on top of him. Although I do put a lot of my body weight on my knees, he's a small kid, and I'm huge, I don't want to hurt him, much. My brother is laughing, and I guess I am too, but the fun ends, as my brother throws his eyes to the door. I look in the direction and I find Mallory staring at us.

"What are you doing", she asks.

I love Mallory's speech pattern. She is fantastically easy to lip-read. She says simple things, and doesn't have any kind of speech impediment accompanying it.

I shrug, "He was bored", I say.

"So you decided to kill him", she asks.

"Ah you wouldn't have missed him."

I can feel my brother struggling under me, that is his signal to me, that he is going to talk. I look down at him as he wanted.

"Please", he says, "You'd all die of boredom without me."

Mallory rolls her eyes, as I choke him. I smile for myself, and look up at Mallory.

"Anyway", she says, "What do you guys want to eat for dinner?

My brother who has found his wrist, taps my leg, and starts talking, "We doing take out?"

She nods.

"Pizza", he asks.

I nod my head, "Yeah that sounds good to me."

Ha, sounds good. Funny. Don't get it? Yeah, you do. Come on, "sounds" funny. There you go. No? Whatever.

"Alright", she says, "I'll go order."

"What about everyone else", I ask.

"They'll survive", she says, "I don't feel like finding everyone else. I've been calling everyone for a while now and no one ever answers. So I found the two of you and that is it now…"

I assume she continues to rant as I look down at Nosedive. He shakes his head no at me. Okay, so than he hadn't heard her calling. Yes, the two of us have grown to the point where we know what each other are thinking. Cool? Maybe, or maybe it just means that we've been spending too much time with each other and need to get lives. I hope to think it's not the latter.

"Where were you calling from", I ask.

"The kitchen", she says.

My brother taps my leg, and starts speaking.

"…don't you think it would have been better if you actually called from where people could hear you? It's just a guess."

She growls and leaves the room. And I resume back to strangling my brother. He taps my leg furiously, and I stop, and get off of him, allowing him to get some breath back. Bad mistake. He tackles me down and the two of us are on the floor again. Finally I stand up bringing him with me, and tell him that we need to set the table.

"Why", he asks.

"Did you see Mallory before?"

"Yeah."

"Do you really want to anger her anymore? If she sets that table, we'll all hear about it for a month. Plus it is the right thing to do."

My brother scowls, but then pokes me again so my attention is facing him once again,

"Can we set the table my way", he asks.

I smile remembering all the fun times we have had setting the table, "his" way, but too many things end up getting broken "his" way.

"Sorry kiddo", I say, "You know we're not allowed to have fun."

He laughs, and follows me into the kitchen. Sometimes I worry about him. He's been through a lot in sixteen years, but he's a strong kid. I look around and I don't see anyone.

"You be my ears okay", I tell him. It's not so much of a question, more of a statement, but I always feel the paranoid need to tell him that. I don't know why I have to do it, I've trusted this kid with my life at points when in battle with Dragonous, and even more important, I've trusted him with my secret.

I start signing to him, its more comfortable, it is after all my language. My brother and I usually don't dare to sign because someone could see it, but sometimes you just have one of those days. As I said, he's fluent, and has been my secret interpreter for everything I don't understand. I've swore him to secrecy to never expose my deafness. He doesn't really understand it, since he knows that I am capable, but after me telling him he is naïve, (I'm the older brother, he listens because of that mere fact) he promised to not tell, and help me pull off the hearing thing. He is completely loyal to me, which I remind myself on the days that I want to strangle the poor kid. He's in the middle of saying something than drops his hands, and shakes his head no.

I get the point, someone is coming. In a few seconds, Grin enters the room.

"Hey", he says. "We're eating soon?"

Ah finally, normal talking. I guess hunger brings out normalcy in people.

"Yeah", I say, "Mallory ordered pizza."

"You guys need help", he asks.

I shake my head no.

Ah, as I place the napkin under the plate, I miss something he says. I look to Nosedive who is waving him off, to wherever he's going.

"He's going for a walk," Divey tells me.

Guess he's not as hungry as I thought, interesting. He always confuses me.

My brother has always been my little interpreter. When I was in high school, Canard forced me to join the hockey team, (the coaches saw me, and begged me to join), which I ended up loving, only for a problem to arise. Yeah, because I'm special like that. The problem turned out to be that the team couldn't afford to the pay the interpreter to come along and it was deemed unsafe and stupid for me to not have an interpreter. (I couldn't lip read as well at that point.)

Here is where Nosedive comes in. Canard came up with the brilliant idea that Nosedive could interpret for me, and the school wouldn't have to pay him. The coaches were hesitant because at the time, Nosedive was six, (and fluent might I add, just as he was in English). However, there was no one else that could match my goalie skills, so they took a chance and relented into the idea. So, Nosedive got dragged along. It pretty much worked out, except one night. That night was the worst night of my entire life, and the reason that night went so horrible was because I was, I mean am, deaf. That was one of the big events of my life that really made me hate deaf.

That's me going against my culture again. Most deaf people don't think like me, but whatever.

Anyway, every summer since then he gave up every summer and interpreted for me. You know what kind of commitment it takes to do that? He has never used it in an argument, he has never gone out of his way to guilt me, never, and for that I will forever respect him. Not many people will do things and expect nothing in return. I had once asked him, why he did it for me, and his simple response was because we were brothers, and that if he asked me again he'd punch me.

I suddenly feel the table shaking, and I know that Nosedive is hitting it to tell me that someone is coming. I look to the doorway and I see Mallory coming in from another room, with the pizza. He alerts me so I know to look up and read lips when people start talking, otherwise it would be too chaotic. Soon everyone piles in and we all begin to eat. I sit next to my brother, because one he is my brother, and two, because dinner can be difficult and I might need him. Everyone talks at the same time, and everyone can contribute to the conversation so quickly that is can very hard to keep up, especially when you're a deaf person pretending not to be.

And they're off, and as they continue to talk about something I get lost in my own self-misery, hating myself once again, well hey, at least its familiar territory. As I continue to self-loathe the alarm goes, lucky for me the alarm includes flashing red lights. We all look at each other, change our clothes, curse to ourselves, and leave the dinner table as we pile into the migrator.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Hello, you're still here? Well allow me to update you on the current situation at hand. I, along with Mallory, and Tanya are chained by our hands against a wall. As a deaf person, this truly aggravates me, because my hands are my method of communication, however I have to remind myself that I'm not deaf today. Anyway, we stand here, as Tanya successfully sends out an emergency signal to Grin, who as of now is our last chance. Remember he went out on his walk to clear his head or something. Ha, I'm sure this isn't his idea of clearing his head, but whatever, its not like I planned this.

Duke and Nosedive were selected by the Saurians and taken out of our holding cell. They wanted codes, and when none of us answered them, they took Dive and Duke. Why? One, because Duke has led a criminal life and they find it to be easier to get something out of him, if they in return offer him something, or if they promise not to hurt him. They took Nosedive because he is the youngest and probably the easiest to break at first glance. Too bad they don't know my brother very well. But of course these are all assumptions. I'm hoping I'm wrong, I'm hoping that they took the two of them back there to sign a peace treaty between both sides, but between you and me, I can't even force myself to believe that lie.

I don't like this at all. I am getting a sickening feeling that something horrible is happening, and more that something will happen and I won't be able to understand it. I am becoming increasingly dependent on Grin, and hoping that he will be able to get us out of here. I see a shadow and shoot my head up and see Duke. Shit.

He is bruised up pretty rough. He is now sporting a black eye, and holding his ribs. This is bad. Blood is pouring from the right of his forehead and dripping onto his armor turning it a darker color. He looks up and nods just to say that he kept his mouth shut. I almost wish he hadn't. They put him in the shackles that we are all currently sporting, but unlike us he is pained to hold the position, probably because of the ribs. I can see him gritting his teeth and growling something nasty at the guard, who in return punches him hard in the gut. He winces, says nothing, and settles for a glare. Damn, this is bad.

I look to Tanya, "How are we doing?"

"Five minutes", she responds knowing I want to know where Grin is.

I nod my head accepting that time lot. I am increasingly worried about my brother. That kid has been through so much already. I can't bear to have him go through more. One person shouldn't be that burdened with so many problems. I would gladly switch places with him, but life wouldn't allow that. Life would prefer that I pretend to deny a major part of myself to my colleagues. Who would have guessed?

"You alright", I ask Duke.

"I'll survive", he responds.

I'm glad he responds with a short answer, it's easier to understand. I would love to ask about Nosedive, but seeing how he is in excruciating pain, I don't think he'd appreciate that question right now. I don't honestly think I can handle my brother coming in looking like Duke, and isn't that selfish of me? I watch the door intently and finally after it seems like eternity, two guards escort my brother into the room.

They're holding him up, probably because he can't stand on his own two feet. He is clutching his ribs like Duke, and is bleeding from his head as well, only the blood is coming from a different location on the head. Pieces of glass reflect off of him, and I can imagine what had happened. He is also drenched, and is shivering. I have no idea how he got wet, and yet again I probably don't want to know. They throw my brother to floor, where he then looks up at me. He looks afraid, but he trusts me. He shouldn't.

He makes eye contact, and offers a weak smile. I fingerspell (it is spelling each letter in the word, i.e. cat becomes c-a-t) that help is coming, because my hands are separated from each other. It works alright considering that fingerspelling only takes the use of one hand, and it's better than nothing, and it works because the team doesn't notice it. My brother nods in affirmation and looks slightly relieved. He then collapses onto his back.

Before I know it, I can see the girls and Duke screaming furiously. I don't know what is happening, and I don't like this. I calm myself and look to whom Duke is screaming. It is the guard and he's yelling at him. I can infer this based on eye contact. It is extremely hard to read lips when the person is not facing you, but I refuse to let myself panic. I stay in control of my emotions and try to make out what is happening. Than I realize it. My brother is jerking slightly. He looks like his choking on something, but because he is on his back, whatever it is, it won't come out. The guard, not sure of what to do, but knowing better than to let a prisoner die under his watch, he picks up my brother and puts him on his stomach. My brother manages to obtain some energy to allow himself to spit up the blood that he was choking on. Well isn't that a lovely thought. My brother choking on his own blood. I can feel myself losing control.

"Tanya", I shout angrily, "Tell me something".

The guard looks confused, but doesn't do anything. Stupid man, he shouldn't allow us to be speaking with each other, but he what does he know? It doesn't take an intelligent person to beat the hell out of someone.

"Waiting for your say so", she responds looking at me oddly. Well damn, I was too busy looking at Nosedive than her direction, and in that meantime she probably told me Grin was here. Yes Grin is here. I just need to tell him when to enter. The guard is too close to Nosedive, and could take him hostage. There's no way we could avoid that. I need that guard to resume to his position outside the holding cell. But he has other plans.

He picks Nosedive up by the hair, and brings him up close and personal to me and everyone else. He takes a blade out and puts it against my brother's arm. He's shouting something, and I don't need to be hearing to know what he is threatening. They all are looking at me. It's different when you, yourself give up personal safety in exchange for denying information. To put someone else's safety in your hands is a completely different situation. Especially when it's your own brother. Scratch that, your baby brother. They are all waiting to see what I do, and I now know, that if any harm is to come to my brother it will be because I will allow it. They will all follow my lead, and that makes me sick to my stomach. If I ever see Canard again, I'll kill him for this; I should have never been made captain of this stupid team. Nonetheless, I might have a plan.

"Nosedive", I tell him, "You doing okay buddy?"

My neglect to the guard seems to piss him off, as he starts screaming at me. Something about if I think this is a game. I honestly don't care what he says right now, especially since him screaming at me, isn't truly intimidating, hello I'm deaf. So I keep talking to my brother. I think I just may have one last plan up my sleeve.

"When we get home", I tell Nosedive, "Me and you, can go see a car show." (My brother loves anything to related to cars).

The guard seems furious that I am not listening. My plan is that he'll neglect my brother, come close enough to me, and then I can order Grin in. I can handle the guard if he takes me hostage, better than Nosedive. Plus, the angrier this guy gets, the less control he looses on himself and the situation.

"Doesn't that sound like fun", I say and emphasize the word, "sound". That was just for my brother, only he could understand, considering how no one else knows that nothing "sounds" like fun for me. This inside joke manages to bring a smile to my brother's face, and as he starts to laugh and cough at the same time, the guard slashes his arm. My brother screams, and holds him arm. I look away. If I can't see it, than its not happening. That is my deaf world, if I don't see it, than I don't know it. But I can't choose to look away, I have a job to do. I will not runaway. So I force myself back to reality, and look at my brother.

"Come on Nosedive", I coax him, "Talk to me."

"When is the show", he asks, obeying me. Poor kid, he'll do anything I say, since I'm his older brother. I wonder when he'll figure out what a failure I am, and he'll abandon this intense loyalty to me. Can't he see, that I'm only hurting him?

The guard screams something, which I think was supposed to be "shut up".

"Aw", I say, "What's wrong? Don't like something?"

This guy is a control freak, and every little command that we don't obey angers him further. And so I decide to really go all out, and I look into his eyes. The eye contact infuriates him and he comes stomping over to me, and that is all I need.

"Tanya", I bark.

She knows what I'm telling her, and within fifteen seconds, Grin comes in, gun up and aimed. The guard immediately puts his hands up, and backs over to the wall. Grin goes over and pats him down, takes his weapon away and handcuffs him. He takes the keys, but not first before looking at Nosedive with shock. He releases Duke first, who at this point has passed out, I'm assuming from the pain. He lies him down gently, and then goes to us three.

After I am released, I order Grin to carry Duke, and yes I am well aware that other guards could be coming in any second. I go over to my brother.

"Can you walk", I ask.

Nosedive shakes his head no, embarrassed.

"Lean on me", I tell him, as I help him stand.

He puts his weight on me, and swings his arm around my neck. I am careful to avoid hurting his ribs when I put my arm around him to support him. I can feel him shivering against me.

"Easy Dive", I whisper to him.

"I'm cold", he signs. This is okay considering the sign for cold is shaking yours arms, imitating true coldness, and the sign for "I'm" is just pointing at yourself.

I surprise him, by signing back, I don't want the rest of the team to hear our personal conversation, especially since admitting any kind of weakness to my brother means embarrassment. Plus the team isn't really paying attention, and we have our backs turned to them.

"I know", I sign, "Everything will be okay. I have Duke's sweatshirt in the van."

My brother smiles, "The one, that I said was in the wash", he signs to me.

I nod my head smiling too.

"Come on", I tell him, no longer signing, seeing how the team is now starting to waiting for my next command.

"Alright everyone", I say, "Let's head out."

The six of us, quickly leave the cell and out to the migrator. Divey and I trail behind. It's not that my brother hurt his leg, it's that he's exhausted and doesn't have the energy to walk. Plus with the blood pouring out, I'm sure he's feeling dizzy. On the upside however, Duke has come back to consciousness, and is protesting about being carried. Well too bad.

Mallory takes the duckcycle, which brought Grin here, as Grin comes into the van with us because of Duke. As much as I don't want to, I have to drive. I would rather be with my brother, but unfortunately I don't have that option. Tanya needs to be able to examine Duke, as Grin can help Nosedive. No, Grin isn't a doctor, but his medical expertise overweighs my CPR certificate. I start the car up and bring us out. Angrily, I drive to get home as soon as possible. Since I have to watch the road, and not anyone's lips, I have no clue what is happening, and that pisses me off even more.