A Love Born From Steel
Chapter 3
They decided to break the trip up over two days as Ennis didn't want to trailer the horses for more than eight hours at a stretch. Jack knew that Lureen wasn't expecting him until Sunday so he was in no particular hurry, either. Now that he and Ennis were together, there was no need for him to drive like a bat out of hell to get to where he was going.
They headed south, driving past dusty towns and ranches, nodding donkeys and oil rigs dotting the landscape. Ennis felt a thrill in his chest—he had never been out of Wyoming in all of his life and the idea of seeing something new, even if it was only Texas, was exciting, particularly because he'd be seeing it with Jack.
They kept each other in view, pulling over at regular intervals to water the horses. They'd lean against the side of the truck and each have a cigarette, sharing an easy comfort that Ennis found immensely satisfying. At one point, words from a past fishing trip came to Ennis's mind, and he leaned over to Jack and whispered, "It could be like this, just like this, always."
Jack gave him a funny smile, "I said that…"
"I know. Long ago, but it's finally true."
Jack chuckled, "Y'know En, I never knew you were such a romantic sonofabitch. Savin' postcards, rememb'ring things I said."
Ennis shrugged. He didn't know it either but something about all of it felt right and perfect.
They stopped for lunch at a little diner about 50 miles south of Laramie, which they calculated was close to the halfway point of the journey for the day. Ennis ordered a cheeseburger and a Coke, while Jack had a grilled ham and cheese sandwich with iced tea. Ennis gave him a funny little look and Jack said, "What?"
"I didn't know ya liked iced tea."
"Hell, Ennis, ev'rybody in Texas drinks iced tea."
"Just funny, that's all," replied Ennis.
"What's funny about it?"
Ennis leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "I could tell ya the colors of the pimples on yer ass, but I didn't know ya liked iced tea." Jack almost choked on his drink, trying not to laugh in the middle of his sip.
"Cowboy, I didn't know you had such a sense of humor," he laughed, after finally managing to gulp down the liquid in his mouth.
Ennis gave him a nonchalant look. "Well then, rodeo, I guess there's a lot we don't know 'bout each other…but we do know the important stuff." The latter was said with yet another wink.
They each had a cup of coffee to finish lunch. Jack noticed Ennis reaching for his pocket—Jack suspected to pull out some money—when he picked up the check off the table and said, "No, En, I'll cover this." Ennis started to protest but Jack said, "You paid for the ribs last night, this is my treat." Ennis smiled in appreciation.
Jack paused for a minute, then motioned to the waitress, pointing to his coffee cup. She came over with the pot and refilled both their cups. Jack said thanks, then turned to Ennis, "Hey bud, mebbe we can take a minute t'talk 'bout money?"
Ennis shrugged, which Jack took as an okay. "In your house in Riverton, you had money in a coffee can." Ennis nodded. Jack paused, then continued, "I'm assuming that was yer bank account?" Ennis nodded again. "And you got paid at the ranch…" Ennis nodded a third time. "So….," he let the sentence end without ending.
Ennis picked up on his cue, albeit, reluctantly, "So, friend, all the money I got in the world is what I got here in my pocket," he said, finishing Jack's sentence. "I'm basically broke, like I have been all my life." His eyes were directed at a far corner of the diner as he said this, and his face held a mixture of embarrassment and anger.
Jack wanted so much to reach out and put his hand over Ennis's, but knew that this little diner was not the place to demonstrate his affection and support. "En, I had a feeling that was the case, and it's okay," Jack said, "It doesn't matter t'me."
"Well, it matters t'me," said Ennis, "I've got this damn child support to pay—listen, Jack, I'll be honest—I have enough for the next two months and then I'm really broke, not a penny t'my name." He sighed, then continued, "Payin' that child support on time is even more import'nt t'me now."
"Why now?" asked Jack.
Ennis laughed ruefully, "I didn't tell ya 'bout my conversation with Alma," he said, "which didn't go so great."
Jack waited, letting Ennis continue at his own pace. "Long story short, she said some nasty things 'bout you and me."
Jack nodded. He didn't know Alma—had met her only for a second, once—but from the things that Ennis had said about her over the years, he had a sense that that she was not the type to be accepting of their relationship, on any level.
"At the end, she said if I was ever late with a payment, she'd get the judge to make it so I can never see Junior and Jenny ag'in. She said she'd tell him…"
Jack interrupted. "There's no need t'put it in words, Ennis. I get the picture." Ennis looked at him knowingly, his face radiating gratitude. The implication in Alma's threat had been so distressing that he was glad that he didn't need to repeat what she had said.
Jack looked at him directly. "Well then, that makes what I've got t'tell ya even more important." He paused, then continued, "I've been hopin' for a long time that this day would come."
"Which day?" asked Ennis.
"This day…when you and I would get together. I've been savin' for it, savin' for quite a while." Ennis looked surprised at this bit of news. "I've managed to put aside about $10,000."
"How'd ya do that?" asked Ennis, a stunned look on his face.
"This and that. Mebbe I'd get a bonus from sellin' a combine and I'd keep half for myself, put half in the household account. I have a few buddies I play poker with, I'd always tell Lureen I'd lost, but I'd put the winnings in the bank. It adds up…I've been savin' for almost ten years, ever since we got back together in '67."
They paused and looked at each other, and then Jack continued. "I'm not quite sure what's gonna happen over the next few weeks. We'll prob'ly have to stay in a motel or somethin'—Lureen will kick me out, for sure, and besides, you couldn't stay at the house anyway." He stopped, considered his words, then continued, "Ennis, what I'm tryin' t'say—let me take care of payin' for stuff for now. Use yer money for yer little girls."
Ennis, proud and stubborn, had a mixture of emotions churning in his stomach, but he realized what Jack was saying made a lot of sense—and he was grateful for his generosity and candor. After a moment of contemplation he said, "Thanks, Jack…y'know I'll pay ya back."
Jack smiled a little smile, "I don't want ya t'pay me back, En. It's not a loan—we're in this together. I'm sure we'll get to a time when we'll both be makin' money and then we can talk 'bout who pays for what…but for now, let me handle it, okay?"
He looked at Jack's hand on the table, and like Jack, wished he could squeeze it in appreciation, but instead, simply said, "Thanks, bud," and gave Jack a big smile.
They finished their coffees in silence, then Jack paid the bill at the cash register. Walking across the parking lot to their respective trucks, Ennis leaned in very close and whispered, "I love you," and then, to Jack's utter amazement, gave him a little kiss on the top of his ear. Ennis winked as he climbed into his truck. "Let's plan to stop in 100 miles," he said. "I want t'water the horses." Jack was still standing, rooted to the spot, as Ennis drove away.
Late in the afternoon, they stopped for gas, and Ennis said to Jack, "Y'know, bud, I'm wonderin' 'bout tonight."
"Whaddya mean?" asked Jack.
"The horses—I'm not sure they should be in the trailer overnight. I'd like t'find a way to let them out."
"Well, as a matter of fact, I think I have the answer," said Jack. Ennis raised an eyebrow and Jack continued, "Outside of Lamar is a horse motel."
"Horse motel?" asked Ennis. "What the fuck is that? And how the hell d'ya know 'bout it?"
Jack laughed, "Remember, cowboy, I've made this trip lotsa times. Y'start noticin' stuff." Jack went on to explain that he had seen a sign for the "Lamar Sportsman's Campground & Horse Motel" just west of the city. "It always made me think of you, when I drove by. On the way to our fishin' trips, it made me happy. On the way home…,"Jack paused, the thought unfinished, then continued. "Anyway, it looks like they've got campsites," he said, "we've got the gear," nodding towards the back of the truck. "Plus there's a stable and a paddock for the horses."
"Sounds good t'me," said Ennis, as they climbed into their respective trucks for the last leg of the trip.
An hour later, they pulled into the dusty parking lot of the "Horse Motel." Jack got out of his truck and walked over to Ennis and leaned in the window. "Let me go in—get the lay of the land—and I'll be back. Don't worry, we'll have a nice place for Twister and Sioux to sleep tonight." Ennis smiled, grateful that Jack was in charge. This was all so new that he was feeling a little overwhelmed.
Jack walked across the parking lot and entered the small building with a sign that said "Office" over the door. At the counter was a burly man, punching numbers into an adding machine. He looked up at Jack, and with a smile said, "Help ya?"
"Yeah, my name's Jack Twist. Me 'n my buddy, we're travelin' through to Texas. Got a pair o'horses in the trailer and we need a place to stay."
"Well then, ya come t'the right place." He stuck out his hand, "Name's Charlie Voight, and I'm the proud owner of the Lamar Sportsman's Campground & Horse Motel. Welcome, pardner."
Jack shook his hand and smiled back, "Thanks. Looks like a nice setup ya got here." Charlie beamed, obviously very proud of his business. "So," Jack asked, "ya got room for two fellas from Wyoming? Can we stay for the night?"
"Long as ya have a certificate from the vet for the horses."
Jack said, "Oh….lemme go ask my buddy….they're his horses." He turned around and walked out the door. He was a bit concerned—Ennis didn't seem to be real strong on paperwork and details. It had never crossed Jack's mind that they would need some sort of veterinary documentation, but now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense.
Ennis was still sitting in his truck when Jack came up to the window. "Hey, bud, he needs a veterinary certificate. Ya got one?"
"'Course I do," said Ennis, reaching over to the glove box. "Whatcha think, ya can drive 'round the country with horses without their paperwork?" He handed Jack two thick envelopes, one marked "Twister," the other marked "Sioux."
Jack walked back towards the office, shaking his head in a bit of disbelief. Inside, he handed Charlie the envelopes. Charlie quickly riffled through the papers and said, "Looks like ev'rythin' is up-to-date." He handed the envelopes back to Jack. "I'll give ya two stalls for the horses and ya can turn them out in the paddock for exercise. Y'need an RV hook-up?"
"Actually," said Jack, "we're tenting."
Charlie nodded, "I can give ya a tent site, if ya like, or you can stay in a little cabin." He pointed out the window to three little cabins at the far end of the yard, beyond the stable. "When I first started this, I started buildin' the cabins, thinkin' that's what people would want, but I was wrong. RVing is the big thing, so I added more RV sites instead. Only got three cabins built, but they're warm and dry, and fully equipped, got a stove, a fridge, and a shower. They have a double bed, chairs on the porch, pots and pans in the cupboard. I can give ya one for $35 for the night."
Jack considered for a second, thinking about the money, then said, "Hell, why not? We've been drivin' all day, it'd be nice to sleep in a bed, not on the ground."
"Done," said Charlie. "Ya want one or two?"
"One is fine," said Jack. He could see a look registering on Charlie's face, and once again Jack sensed that Charlie, like Don Wroe had, was putting two and two together. But he didn't say anything, negative or otherwise, just turned the register towards Jack and asked him to sign in with his name and address.
"Okay, that'll be $35 for the cabin, plus $18 for the stable, and tax," he calculated on the adding machine, "for a total of 55 dollars and 12 cents. Let's make it $55 even."
Jack pulled out the bills from his wallet, counted out the correct amount, and handed them to Charlie, who, in return, handed Jack a key on a ring, "Take Cabin number one, the last one on the left. It's the biggest, and quietest, of the three. Tell your buddy he can put his horses in stalls number five and six. Hay is in the barn, plus oats and biscuits in the feed room. I just ask that ya muck out the stall in the morning."
"No problem. Thank you, Charlie," said Jack, as he turned to leave.
"Sure thing," said Charlie. "Enjoy yer stay."
Jack walked back outside and now found Ennis leaning against his truck, smoking a cigarette, and staring into space. Jack stopped for a minute and looked at Ennis, who hadn't noticed him yet. "Oh, God," he thought, "I love this man," with an intensity that bordered on pain.
He walked up and brought Ennis out of his reverie by jingling the key. "We're all set, cowboy," he said, "two stalls for the horses, a cabin for us,"
Ennis looked surprised, "A cabin? I thought we were tentin'?"
Jack pointed down the field. "See number one down there? It's got our name on it," as he grinned at Ennis. "Y'got me a cabin, cowboy, I can do the same for you."
They unloaded the horses from the trailer and turned them out into the paddock. Ennis watched them stretch their legs, then turned to Jack and said, "Let's leave them for a bit. We can get settled, then I'll come back, mebbe after supper, and put them in their stalls for the night."
The cabin was small but neat as a pin. For Ennis, everything was moving beyond anything he had ever known. Jack watched him as he looked in the little refrigerator, opened cabinets, and inspected the contents of the drawers. He smiled at Jack, embarrassed, feeling like some country hick who had come to the city for the first time in his life. For his part, Jack was so happy to be with Ennis, he didn't care what he looked at or how he acted. The two of them ended up grinning at each other like school kids who had just shared a dirty joke.
They brought in their duffles and the cooler. "Whaddya want t'do for supper?" asked Jack, contemplating the bags of groceries out in the truck.
"Fuck Jack, I'm so tired," said Ennis, "I could eat breakfast for supper."
Jack laughed. "That's the perfect idea, En. Listen, you go take care of the horses, I'll cook us up some bacon and eggs, and we can call it a night."
Which is exactly what they did. But somewhere along the line, they moved into the realm of silly giggle—a combination of being road weary along with the giddiness of love—and found themselves laughing and enjoying everything about each other. Jack broke off bits of bacon and put them in Ennis's mouth and Ennis said, "Don't start with the food again, cowboy," while he held Jack's hand.
"How am I supposed to eat one-handed?" laughed Jack, as Ennis pulled his wrist closer to his side.
"You figure it out, rodeo," he whispered, and leaned in for a kiss.
The two of them laughed and played, somehow managing to finish their suppers, and then clean up afterwards, before the exhaustion of the day caught up with them. Jack took a quick shower and Ennis followed, and they crawled into bed, the sheets feeling cool against their slightly damp bodies. Like the night before, Ennis pulled Jack close and they fell asleep, face to face, murmuring "I love yous" to each other as they fell into a dark, dreamless sleep.
Ennis woke with the sunrise, a lifetime habit, but instead of immediately getting up, used the quiet moments to look at Jack, who was sleeping on his side, his right hand curled beneath his head, his left tucked under his elbow. Jack's dark hair fanned over his forehead and his eyelashes, long and thick, provided definition to his closed eyes.
Ennis took a deep breath—what day was it? He had no idea. He mentally tried to think through in his mind and decided it must be Thursday—he had met Jack at the rest stop outside Riverton on Saturday. He tried to comprehend what had happened in the past five days and almost wondered, is this going too fast? Should I have stayed in Riverton and waited for Jack? But as he traced his fingers along Jack's jaw he knew this was the right thing to do, and felt a profound sense of peace and happiness, something he had never felt in his entire life.
He eased out of bed, not wanting to wake Jack, and picked his jeans up off the floor. He got dressed silently, then headed up the field past the paddock.
Ennis entered the stable. First he went into the feed room and got some hay and oats for each horse. He noticed the tack room, with saddles, brushes, curry combs, and a variety of other gear. He tucked a thought away in his mind about the whole notion of a horse motel. He'd never seen anything like this in Riverton, but then again, folks usually weren't traveling through Riverton. Maybe it had something to do with geography.
He put a few extra biscuits in his pocket, and went back to the horses. He led them out to the paddock and let them wander, watching them graze on the grass. Ennis leaned on the fence, cataloging the things he loved in his life. First came Jack, then Junior and Jenny, then his horses. As he watched Twister and Sioux trot across the field, nudging at each other, he thought to himself, "This is what I'd like to do. This could work. Being with Jack, being with horses—that is what I like the most."
He left the horses in the paddock—he knew they had another long day in the trailer and wanted them to get as much exercise as they could before they hit the road. He walked back down to the cabin and as he approached, he could hear water running in the shower. Ennis paused for a moment and then thought, "Hell, this week has been nothing but surprises," and used that as an excuse to strip and join Jack. "Turn around, cowboy, and let me wash your back."
Jack, for his part, was surprised, stunned, and delighted. As he leaned against the shower wall while Ennis soaped his back, he thought back to his words of the other day—"I think we have let the genie out of the bottle." This Ennis was not the Ennis he fell in love with on Brokeback Mountain. This Ennis talked, made jokes, and took the sexual initiative—something Jack hadn't entirely expected. But, Jack realized that he loved this new Ennis—he was the same person after all—but it was an Ennis who was finally allowing himself to come out of his shell.
While Jack was idly pondering these thoughts, "new" Ennis was hard at work, pushing Jack against the wall of the small shower and easing his cock into Jack's ass, all the while whispering in Jack's ear how much he loved him. The hot water washed over them, the soap was soft and slippery, and as Jack reached his climax, he truly wondered if this was all a dream. He had fantasized about Ennis for years, but the fantasy never quite matched the reality that he was experiencing at that moment. "I love you, Jack," said Ennis, close to his ear, soapy and soft.
"Oh Ennis, I love you," said Jack, realizing, as he fell into the deep euphoria of climax, that they had declared their love by name and without swear words—something, Jack thought, that bordered on spiritual.
They finished, and stood there, Jack leaning against the shower wall, Ennis behind him, the hot water running over their bodies. Only when the water began to turn cool did they realize just how long they had standing there, immobile. Jack reluctantly reached behind himself and turned the faucet off. "We've got a long trip, cowboy, time t'get a move on."
Ennis, dizzy confused, pulled himself away and nodded and then with a smile said, "Can we do this again? That was fun."
Jack gave him a poke and said, "Cowboy, you can fuck me in the shower any time yer little ol'heart feels like it."
Ennis, handing Jack a towel, smiled, laughed, and said, "I'll consider that an open invitation, rodeo."
They packed up their gear and went to the office to return the key. Charlie had a pot of coffee on a burner, with styrofoam cups stacked neatly to the side. "Help yerselves t'coffee," he said, "You boys want to get some breakfast, there's a nice little café 'bout a mile up the road. Leave the horses—it'll give them a few more minutes to graze before you need to head out."
Jack and Ennis both thought that was a good idea. They found the café and settled in for a breakfast of pancakes and sausages. Jack studied a map while they ate, "Y'know En, we did the big push yesterday." Ennis nodded and agreed. It had felt like a long day of driving. "Lookin' at this map, I think we only got about 350 miles t'go, so we should make good time today. What I'm thinkin' though, is we should drive on past Childress, head into the next county, stay in a little town called Quanah. It's about thirty miles further south."
Ennis shrugged, nodded. He had no opinion on this, but apparently Jack did. "See, En, we're gonna need to check into a motel and people 'round Childress know me. I wouldn't want it t'get back to Lureen that I was shacked up at the Super 8 with some good lookin' guy—at least until I've had a chance t'talk t'her."
Ennis laughed. "Whatever, Jack, yer the boss."
"Quanah's nice and has a coupla motels on the strip outside of town. But it's far enough away, that I shouldn't hafta worry 'bout runnin' into folks."
"Any horse motels?" asked Ennis. "That was a great little set-up ya found for us."
"Unfortunately, no," said Jack, "which is why I'm thinkin' I'll wait til tomorrow t'let Lureen know I'm home. We can use the time this afternoon to find a place for Sioux and Twister."
Ennis smiled, grateful for Jack's consideration. "Thanks, bud."
"No problem." He drained his coffee, stood up and picked up the check. "Ready to hit the road?" he said. "Next stop, Quanah, Texas."
Author's Note: There really is a place called the "Lamar Sportsman's Campground & Horse Motel" in Lamar, Colorado, but my description of it is pure fiction.