Part Thirteen: The One With The BrokenHeart
Emma was standing in front of the Apple tree with a bag of mulch in one hand and a pitchfork in the other.
She had spent the night before with a silly smile on her face thinking about the woman who had not only captured her heart but also every single thought in her mind.
Regina!
It was crazy, Emma knew that.
She hardly knew the woman and she could count on her fingers how many times Regina had actually been nice to her. If she wasn't so aware of that kind of behavior as a defense mechanism, Emma could believe Regina's words when she said she didn't like her.
But Emma knew that was a load of crap.
The kiss they shared was intense but also so much more than that.
It was almost like… a kiss back to life.
As strange as it sounds.
And there were also the little moments between them, like on the day at the mine when Emma moved unconsciously to cover Regina with her body and Regina pulled her down to make sure Emma was covered by the car.
The way Emma comforted Regina when Henry was trapped underground.
And last night, when they were standing by the car door, Emma felt it, covering her soul, tingling on her skin.
Desire!
That was the smell mixed with Regina's usual apple blossom and winter breeze scent.
It was what gave Emma the courage to lean in and kiss the corner of her mouth.
And it took everything in Emma to turn around and walk away when all she wanted to do was pull Regina closer and never let her go.
Which was absolutely ridiculous and so not like her and yet, it was exactly what she wanted.
Regina!
So Emma spent part of the night thinking about Regina, happy and frustrated at the same time.
She thought perhaps it was about time she did something nice for her.
Something that perhaps could make that infuriating woman finally say yes to going on a date with her.
Not that Emma believed in Regina's refusal, but on some level, she could understand why Regina was pushing her away.
Emma couldn't understand why she wasn't doing the same thing herself.
Why was she making roots instead of tearing them apart and running away.
Maybe it was because this was different from everything she have ever felt before.
Regina was different from everyone she ever felt a fraction of what was rooting in her heart for the brunette woman.
And if Emma stayed, if Emma made roots here…
Maybe, just maybe, perhaps one day, they could have more.
But Emma wouldn't dare to dream about that right now.
Not because it was too soon, but… because it was too scary.
So Emma forced her thoughts out of the future and tried to come up with something for the present.
And by the time she closed her eyes, a plan had formed in the back of her mind.
And now here she was, staring at the Apple tree with no clue of what to do.
Yes, the tree was her plan to make something nice for Regina.
Which could completely backfire because one, Emma had no idea what she was doing, and two, the tree seemed to be the only other thing Regina loved apart from Henry.
Emma really hoped she wouldn't screw this up.
So, Emma dropped the objects on the ground and kneeled in front of the mulch.
She had put on some old jeans and a white tank top, which she completely regretted now considering what she was about to do but she left the loft in a hurry and didn't pay much attention to what she was wearing.
She didn't even know what she was supposed to buy until she arrived at Game of Thorne and the guy working there told Emma what Regina usually bought to care for the tree.
Emma rip the bag open with her nails and then used her hands to stretch the hole. Then she held the sides of the bag and tried to lift it from the ground.
And nearly got herself buried in mulch.
So Emma dropped the bag on the ground again and dragged it closer to the tree.
"Now what?" Emma asked herself, hands on her waist while she looked between the mulch and the tree.
Eventually, Emma figured it was best to spread the mulch around the tree roots so first, she used her hands to throw the much and then the pitchfork to penetrate the soil.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Emma nearly jumped at the sound of Regina's voice behind her.
It was strange for Emma not to be able to smell Regina before she could sneak up on her like that.
But the scent of apples was all around her from the second she arrived and only intensified when she was near the tree, so Emma wasn't all that surprised.
At least Regina didn't sound angry.
"Hi," Emma smiled at Regina when she turned around.
Regina had her arms crossed and her posture was rigid, but her eyes didn't care the same stiffness.
If anything, they were amused.
And lightly curious.
"What are you doing to my beautiful tree?" Regina asked.
"I thought I could, amm…" Emma scratched the back of her head "I thought I could care for it, you know, to apologize for what I did to your tree"
"When you destroyed it?" Regina arched an eyebrow.
"When I took down a couple of branches," Emma rolled her eyes.
"So you…"
"I went to the store this morning," Emma said, "The guy working there told me this is what you use on your tree"
Regina walked closer to Emma, giving her a certain look that Emma was sure was supposed to make her tramble.
And it did.
But maybe not in the way Regina was hoping for.
Regina stopped in front of Emma and looked at the bag on the ground, the pitchfork trail, and then back at her.
She was smiling.
And she looked absolutely stunning.
And Emma was certain that she would never get tired of seeing that beautiful woman smiling at her.
Not in this life or any other.
"You are doing it all wrong," Regina said pointing at the soil.
"Go on a date with me," Emma said back.
Regina blinked two times before her eyes run all over Emma's body.
And that shiver came again, one for each second Regina's eyes roamed over her body.
"You came here to ask me out on a date all covered in dirt?" Regina clicked her tongue.
"Okay, I'll admit, this is not my finest moment," Emma laughed "In my head, I thought it would a good idea to make something nice for you"
"Why?" Regina asked.
"Because you deserve it," Emma said softly.
Regina looked down and cleared her throat before starting to walk away.
"Go home, Miss Swan," Regina said "Before you damage my tree further and I have no choice but to kill you"
Emma rolled her eyes, dropping the pitchfork on the ground and following Regina.
"Go on a date with me, Regina," Emma said.
"Miss Swan, go away," Regina said back without turning around.
"Go on a date with me," Emma said again.
"Miss Swan" Regina sighed.
Emma caught up with Regina and lightly took her hand, making Regina stop walking and face her.
"Go on a date with me, Regina," Emma smiled, brushing her thumb on Regina's hand "What's the worse it could happen?"
"It will be a disaster," Regina whispered.
"Then let's make chaos together," Emma said, giving one step closer to Regina "Arent we already good at that?"
Regina let out a small laugh and shook her head before looking back at Emma.
"I have something for you," Regina said.
"You do?" Emma smiled.
"Wait here," Regina said, letting go of Emma's hand "I don't want you dragging dirt all over my office"
Emma let Regina go, even though her hand was already itching for the lack of contact with Regina's skin.
And their proximity.
Emma waited outside the building, walking from one side to the other, impatiently to see what Regina had for her.
Luckily, Emma didn't have to wait long.
And the second her eyes landed on Regina's hands, Emma opened a smile so bright that she ran in Regina's direction not caring about the dirt Regina claimed she was leaving behind.
"My jacket!"
Emma smiled at Regina and reached for the jacket in her hands, but Regina put her free hand between Emma and the jacket, moving it away from her.
"What?" Emma asked confused.
Regina then reached inside her pocket and gave Emma a couple of wet tissues.
"Clean your hands," Regina said "You'll get dirt all over it"
Emma smiled at Regina and took the tissues, methodically cleaning her hands.
"I was looking for this jacket like crazy," Emma said "I can't believe you kept it for me"
"You gave me that day in the mine," Regina said.
"I remember," Emma smiled.
"It seemed important to you," Regina cleared her throat.
"It is," Emma said "Thank you"
"You are very welcome," Regina nodded.
Emma finished cleaning her hands and shoved the tissues inside her pocket before picking up the jacket from Regina's hands.
"Regina," Emma said softly.
"Go home, Miss Swan," Regina smiled at Emma before giving her back to her again and walking inside the building.
And Emma just smiled back, knowing that was just a matter of time before getting that stubborn woman to say yes to her.
Regina was standing in front of the window watching Emma walk away.
And she wished she could hate the silly smile dancing on her lips.
She wished she could hate all these feelings Emma was bringing to the surface and was about to overflow from inside of her.
But if Regina was honest to herself, hate was the last thing she felt when she thought of Emma.
And there were days when she really hated that.
Regina sensed Emma's arrival long before she even walked outside.
That overwhelming scent of wildflowers and summer breeze came rushing through the window and completely distracted Regina from her work.
She waited and waited and waited for Emma to enter her office but she never came.
But Regina knew she was there, her scent was all around Regina, comforting her and soothing her heart.
So, when Regina heard Emma's voice cursing, she walked to the window and saw the blonde woman throwing mulch on her tree.
Her first instinct was to tear Emma's head apart for hurting her tree again until she realized that Emma was doing exactly the opposite.
In a way, since what she was doing was completely wrong.
But that didn't stop Regina's heart from melting and when she walked downstairs, it was nearly impossible to keep the straight face.
Regina wanted to say yes so badly.
She wanted Emma to take her out on a date, she wanted Emma to court her, and she wanted to take everything Emma was silently promising her.
She wanted so much that it was almost painful.
But Regina knew she couldn't do that.
Because how could that possibly ever work?
Everyone she loved eventually left her or hated her.
Or both.
And Regina wasn't sure she could bare either of those things from Emma.
So why even try?
Regina sighed and walked back to her chair, sitting down heavily.
The feelings inside of her were so conflicting that was almost exhausting.
On one hand, she knew this could never work. On the other, living the rest of her life not knowing what they could be was torture.
Stay near Emma without touching her, without pressing her body against hers, and kissing the air out of her lungs, was torture.
Not to mention all those dreams she was having lately and how badly she wanted to recreate every single one of them, was torture.
Regina buried her face in her hands and grunted.
She knew she couldn't do this.
But God, how badly she wanted to.
"Mom?"
Regina jumped at the sound of Henry's voice, straightening her posture on the chair.
"Are you okay?" Henry asked, entering the office.
"Henry!" Regina said surprised "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at school?"
"Miss Blanchard took a sick day," Henry said "Her class were dismissed"
"This is absurd," Regina said angrily "You can't miss a whole day of school because that spoiled Princess is feeling ill"
"So, you admit she is a Princess," Henry sat on the chair across from Regina.
"Henry," Regina sighed "Not now"
"Fine," Henry rolled his eyes "Do you know what's wrong with Emma?"
"What do you mean?" Regina asked concerned.
"I just ran into her outside," Henry said "She was covered in dirt and smiling like an idiot"
"She was?" Regina smiled brightly at Henry.
"Yep," Henry pointed at Regina "She was smiling like that"
Regina arched an eyebrow at her son and clicked her tongue once.
"Are you going to stay here in the office while I work?" Regina asked.
"Thanks, but no thanks," Henry said "I just need some money"
"Excuse me?" Regina asked.
"For supplies," Henry answered.
"What kind of supplies?" Regina asked.
Henry opened his backpack and took a sheet of paper from inside, sliding it onto the desk towards Regina.
"I need this stuff for the school project," Henry said.
Regina picked up the paper, quickly scanning her eyes over it before reaching for her purse.
She opened her wallet and took out a few dollar bills and gave them to Henry.
"I need five extra," Henry said, counting the money.
"What for?" Regina asked.
"If I say chocolate, will you give me the money?" Henry asked.
"No!" Regina pointed at him.
"Then I need it for pencils," Henry smiled cheekily.
Regina rolled her eyes but smiled anyway because it was so good to have her son back.
So good that he was reaching out for her again, that he was that cheeky little boy she loved with all of her heart.
"I'll give you one," Regina took out a dollar from her wallet and handed it to Henry.
"I'll take it," Henry said, quickly pulling the dollar bill from Regina's fingers.
"I want you to go to the bookstore and then straight home," Regina said seriously.
"I will," Henry jumped from the chair "Thanks for the money"
He walked to the door but then he paused, slowly turning around.
"Mom?"
"Yes, honey?" Regina asked softly.
"I like that you and Emma are friends now," Henry said "I like the way she makes you smile"
Henry smiled at Regina and walked away from the office.
And Regina just stared at the open door, mouth slightly open, unsure of what to make of his statement.
The rest of the day just flew by Regina.
She had a lot of work to do at the office work that she had been putting away when she was lost in thoughts of Emma and now they had finally caught up with her.
So it was hard to think about Emma or about Henry's words and Regina was so glad for the distraction.
But eventually, the day in the office ended, and the night routine of making dinner for Henry too, and when Regina found herself later that night alone in the bathtub, all she could seem to think about was… Emma.
Because Henry's words were true.
Emma did make her happier.
Emma had a way to make Regina smile when she was near, she had a way to make her calm even though her heart was racing, she had a way of simply brushing her thumb over her knuckles and making Regina's whole body shiver.
She had a way to make Regina feel like she was home.
None of these things were exactly new to Regina when Emma was concerned but she had no idea that these things were… visible.
Noticeable.
But Henry did notice them and Regina couldn't help but wonder what if.
What if she took a chance on this?
What if she let her heart be guided by love instead of hate?
She only ever did that once in her life and it gave her Henry.
Her little Prince.
And Regina loved that boy with all her heart because Henry was everything to her.
But now…
Now her heart was desiring more.
Her heart was desiring a different kind of happiness.
Her soul was longing for love.
Her skin was burning to be touched.
And there was only one person in this realm or any other that Regina wanted all of that with.
Emma!
Regina slid her body under the water, holding her breath.
When she returned to the surface, Regina knew exactly what her heart wanted.
And what her brain wouldn't allow.
Regina rose from the bathtub and reached for the towel, drying her face before getting off the tub and wrapping the towel around her body.
She walked to her bedroom and went straight to the closet choosing a silky black nightgown for the night.
The second she put it on, Regina felt cold air touching her bare legs.
She must have forgotten the window open.
Regina pick up the towel from the floor and lightly pressed it against her dripping hair, walking out of the closet.
And then she got a fright, letting out a yelp when she saw the tall figure standing near her window.
"Graham," Regina said surprised "What the hell are you doing here?"
"What do you mean what I'm doing here?" Graham asked, walking closer to Regina "We always meet Friday night at eleven in your bedroom"
Regina looked at Graham, completely surprised for having forgotten about their encounter.
"Right," Regina shook her head "I guess I didn't realize what day today was"
Graham smiled sideways to Regina and leaned closer to her, kissing her neck.
"You smell nice," Graham whispered in Regina's ear.
He wrapped one hand around Regina's waist while the other traveled softly up Regina's bare arm.
Regina could swear her flash recoiled to his touch.
The more Graham kissed her neck and touched her skin the more Regina felt her insides twist inside herself while this horrible feeling started to creep up her spine.
This isn't right!
Regina felt her heart accelerate and her breathing quickened the closer Graham got to her, she could hear her heart breaking with his touch and her soul screaming begging her to stop.
Because he wasn't the one she wanted, he didn't smell like home, and he certainly couldn't make Regina's heart dance inside her chest and her soul feel at peace while her skin burned with desire.
It was Emma.
From the second Regina laid eyes on Emma, from the moment that shock wave happened when their fingers brushed that first time when she brought Henry home, from the night on the beach when she felt that wildflowers and summer scent for the first time, she knew.
She always knew.
And yes, Regina knew she would probably screw everything up.
But perhaps it was best to screw everything up by trying than living another life of lies, by going to bed with someone she didn't care about, by denying her heart what she really wanted.
What she craved.
"Graham, stop," Regina said, pushing Graham away from her.
"What's wrong?" Graham asked confused.
Regina walked closer to the window and cleared her throat before turning to Graham.
"I can't do this anymore," Regina said.
"Do what?" Graham asked.
"This," Regina said gesturing between them "Us"
"You mean tonight?" Graham asked.
"No, not just tonight," Regina shook her head "Graham, you are free"
"I don't understand," Graham said confused again.
Regina walked closer to Graham and gently put her right hand on his face before smiling at him.
"You are free," Regina said again "What we have, what we used to have, it's over. I'm freeing you Graham"
"You mean, we are not together anymore?" Graham asked.
"No," Regina took a step back.
And Graham suddenly leaned forward putting his hand on top of his heart, as if he was in pain.
"Graham," Regina gave a few steps in his direction, putting her hands around his shoulder "What's wrong?"
"I just… I felt this quick pain in my heart," Graham said, getting up "It's gone now"
"Oh!" Regina exclaimed, giving a step back again.
Graham smiled at Regina and nodded before walking to the door, but he stopped just when his hand reached the knob.
"Thank you," Graham said sincerely when he turned to face Regina "For freeing me"
"You are welcome," Regina said softly.
Graham moved to open the door but he was stopped by Regina's voice.
"Graham?"
"Yes?" Graham asked.
"Use the window," Regina gestured towards the window.
"Are you serious?" Graham asked.
"Henry might still be awake," Regina said "Besides, you always use the window"
Graham walked from the door to the window, passing his body to the other side.
Then he smiled one last time at Regina before jumping into the dark night.
Emma was driving the Sheriff Department Cruiser, slightly annoyed by having to work on a Friday night.
If Regina wasn't so stubborn, they could be having dinner right now, sharing a laugh while Emma told her just how stubborn the brunette woman was.
Well, perhaps Regina wouldn't exactly be laughing while hearing that, Emma smiled.
But still…
Emma couldn't wait to do just that.
To take Regina out, to make her smile that soft beautiful smile that only happened when Regina was comfortable.
Emma craved to be in her presence, craved to touch her skin, craved to kiss her lips again.
Craved to feel like her whole body was on fire and for Regina to feed the flames.
And God, how Emma craved to be consumed by the fire that was Regina Mills.
Emma smiled and shook her head as she entered the street to Regina's house.
She looked to the side, smiling softly as the white mansion became closer and closer and if it wasn't so late, Emma would definitely be cheeky enough to knock on the door.
She kinda craved the whole Miss Swan attitude too.
But to Emma's surprise, she saw a figure of a man jumping from Regina's window in the middle of the dark night.
A burglar!
Emma stopped the car and reached under the seat for the truncheon.
She opened the door and crouched, checking if she had her gun with her while she made her way to the wall.
She would catch the thief on his way out.
Emma pressed her body against the wall and then leaned slightly to peek where he was.
The man had the audacity of simply walking as if he hadn't just invaded the Mayor's house to steal.
Emma pressed her body against the wall again and adjusted the truncheon in her hands.
And just when the thief was about to walk out of the gate, Emma made her move, putting all of her strength into the swing as she hit the thief right in the middle of his stomach.
He never saw it coming.
He fell to his knees, gasping for air right in front of Emma.
"Graham?" Emma asked surprised.
"Ah, fuck,"
"What the hell are you doing here?" Emma asked, "Why were you jumping Regina's window?"
"She doesn't want Henry to see me in the house," Graham said, bending forward in pain.
"She doesn't want Henry to…"
Emma started to say but she was unable to finish her words.
Because the realization of what Graham had just said finally sank inside her brain.
"You didn't have anything in the animal shelter," Emma said, "You asked me to work tonight because you were meeting with Regina"
"Yes," Graham whispered.
Emma felt her eyes fill with tears and her hands shaken when she reached inside her back pockets and picked up the car keys.
"Here," Emma threw the keys on the ground beside Graham "You can finish the rest of the shift"
Emma turned away and started to walk aimlessly on the streets of Storybrooke, trying to ignore the sound of her heart breaking into a million pieces.