And in a few days, Lily wasn't sure that Hogsmeade was ever going to happen. Classes began again on Monday and Lily's idyllic situation continued until Wednesday, when James began to get fidgety. All during the day he was nervous and on edge while Sirius became even more sarcastic and flippant than usual. Lily spoke with Emmeline and Dorcas and Marlene; and she couldn't understand the strange behavior of any of these boys except perhaps poor Remus.

Remus looked terrible. He ate barely at all or everything and his skin was waxy and grey. Lily knew that, since the time she had known him, Remus had always been subject to little spells of sickness. His body apparently gave rather bad reactions to something (Lily was never quite certain just what) and she noticed this illness right away since she had been spending increasingly more time with him due to James. Dorcas said that she had overheard Remus speaking to James earlier that morning, saying groggily, "It seems to be getting worse as I grow up more…" Dorcas supposed it was an allergy. Emmeline figured he may have been cursed as a child and carried the effects (Emmeline was the only girl of the group to have grown up with almost no Muggle contact for Dorcas' mother was Muggleborn and Marlene's father was nonmagic). Marlene fretted that it was a terrible load of stress for Remus, but Lily thought that there was something more to it, something to make James antsy as well.

Lunch was a dismal affair, but dinner was worse. Although Dorcas and Marlene were trying to carry on a regular, joking conversation (Marlene with worried looks in Remus' direction) the boys were not their usual selves. Peter seemed practically burning from whatever was happening, for Lily realized that the air was not all gloom at dinner. It was charged with electricity, stiff and static and completely alien to the girls. Lily spent most of her meal quietly observing.

Sirius sat tense, alert, eating quickly and steadily as if he anticipated a specific occurrence that was beyond general knowledge. More than once, Lily caught Sirius smothering a wicked grin or a pleased half-smile. Peter, also, seemed more excited than anything else. He was eating as usual but also chatting loudly with the girls. Every now and then he would pause to give an enormous grin and sneak a look at James or Remus. Remus himself appeared to be in a great deal of pain, the sort of pain that might cause a blinding headache or a blackout. He spoke in nothing more than monosyllables and the answers were raggedly-drawn grunts.

James however, was a stranger case than all the rest. His casserole-loaded fork missed his mouth as often as not and he didn't notice the latter until it was pointed out to him that bits of green beans were stuck to his cheek. James kept sneaking furtive looks at Lily that he broke off as soon as he realized she was looking back. He's looking at me like I'm a bomb, thought Lily hopelessly when James speared her with another prettified glance and then stared into his pumpkin juice. Like I'm about to kill him or curse him; like I'm a leper…

It was a very sullen Lily that moped along to the library after dinner, alone, as it was. How could James be reacting so strangely to her? Like he was scared, almost. Has he done something? she wondered. Is it me? Another girl? Maybe he doesn't like me anymore and we haven't even gone out—

"Lily," cried a strangled voice from behind her. Lily whipped around, hand on the embossed library door handle, to see James hurrying after her in a state of considerable panic. He seemed both determined and desperate.

"Hey," he said breathlessly, stopping a few paces away.

"Hello…" Lily replied dubiously, giving him a quizzical look.

"I…er…" James fumbled.

He wanted to tell her everything. He knew Lily wouldn't believe any excuse he could give her for missing patrols; he loved that time as much as she did. There was no question in James' mind where his responsibility lay tonight though; Remus' transformation would be taking place any minute but he just wanted Lily to know that…That what? he told himself furiously. That one of my best mates is a werewolf and that I need to become an illegal Animagus tonight to break him out of the safehouse so that him and me and Sirius and Peter can run round the Forbidden Forest? Why did I come here? I ought to be at the shack…

"Lily," James began again helplessly, raising his hands in a pleading gesture. "I…I just wanted…I can't—"

"There he is!" Sirius and Peter came hurrying down the hall, wands outdrawn. Sirius stopped and looked from James to Lily and back before giving a curt nod. It seemed that whatever he saw pleased him and he grabbed a tongued-tied James by the arm.

"Come on Prongs, it's time…"

"Time for what?" asked Lily, her voice bordering on angry. Whatever was going on here was not only confusing her mind but also her heart. What is James up to? And why can't he just tell me?

Sirius regarded her for a moment as Peter took James' other arm.

"We've got to…visit Remus. He's in the Hospital Wing."

"Hospital Wing? But why—"

"Sick, isn't he?" Peter answered quickly, light flashing in his piggy little eyes. "Pomfrey's going to have a cow if we're late for the appointment, let's be going…"

"You don't need an appointment for—" started Lily hotly, but Sirius led the way back down the corridor and took James and Peter with him. James would not meet Lily's eyes.

"Trust me, Evans," came his voice, floating back to her standing crestfallen at the end of the hall.

"Fine," she spat furiously to herself, wrenching open the door of the library and stalking to a table. "Fine. Just fine—"

"Shh." Madam Pince was eyeing her with vulture-like dislike on her countenance before she settled back into her book. Lily scowled crossly and unrolled a fresh sheet of parchment. She was behind on her homework anyway, who needed James? He was too good for her now, and Sirius was too superior to explain anything, and Peter was too lofty to lower himself to her paltry level…

Ironically enough, Lily was working on a Herbology paper entitled "Aconite and Alihotsy: Cause and Effect." Poison and hysteria certainly seemed to fit her mood, and Lily went into fatal detail with great viciousness.

Homework was something to keep her mind exercised, if not totally off of James. Lily played catch-up with her schoolwork and began a few projects early, only stopping when Madam Pince finally threw her out, despite her insistence on being Head Girl.

It was nine o'clock when Lily finally stormed into the girls dormitory and tossed two essays, three diagrams, and the beginnings of a concept map onto her trunk. Marlene lay reading a book and Dorcas was drafting a letter.

"Fabian said he was meeting me as early as possible at the Three Broomsticks this Saturday. He's one of the Curse-Breakers who's working on the Longbottom music box."

"Glorious," said Lily, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. Dorcas didn't seem fazed though; on the contrary she offered Lily a small, kind smile.

"James was just in a funk today. Don't worry Lily, you two are fine."

"Fine?" said Lily, voice on the rise. "Was it fine when he ignored me all during Transfiguration? Was it fine when he and Sirius whispered all through Charms and didn't say a loud word? Was it fine when they left over an hour ago to the Hospital Wing on some phony appointment?"

"What?" asked Dorcas, sitting up quickly. Marlene put down her book and straightened up.

"What's going on, Lily?" In anguish, Lily proceeded to tell them about the bizarre meeting outside the library. Neither girl knew what to make of it.

"Definitely dodgy though," agreed Dorcas.

"Makes you think something's up with Remus then," Marlene added.

"But why can't he tell me?" asked Lily in a defeated sort of way. "I mean, we are…friends at least, right? At the least we're friends…"

"If I've said it once, I'll say it again," held Marlene, "James really likes you, Lily, he does, and he hasn't become 'disenchanted' or any nonsense your scheming mind has no doubt been coming up with. He'll tell you in his time."

"But when?" Lily felt awful; she didn't want to whine like this to her friends.

"Whenever. And you'll just need to accept that," said Dorcas gently, sealing her envelope. "C'mon, we'll take a walk to the Owlery. Maybe even run into Emmeline and Caradoc, though it's a bit drafty for them in there…"

Lily allowed her friends to try and cheer her up for about an hour (they didn't run into Emmeline anywhere, Dorcas said fondly, "It must be a very good space this time.") before she went back into bed and drew the curtains. She groped around for her little watch and the numbers read back 10:27. Lily simply sat until ten-forty five, at which time she rose and went wordlessly to the Gryffindor common room. Some sixth year girls and a few younger boys were sitting around but Lily just took a window seat and waited, peering out at the full moon and the illuminated Hogwarts grounds. The shapes of the trees were much stranger and longer in the white incandescence and Lily felt a slight shiver as a cold breeze snuck through a crack in the nearly-closed window. She huddle closer to herself, glancing at the watch and black until it was 11:15.

With a heavy heart, Lily stood up and rubbed her arms. James isn't coming…She felt as if something very thick and black and formless had settled over her heart as she walked wearily to the portrait hole and climbed out.

Patrols were miserable as Lily wandered on alone. Discarded, discarded, discarded. Lily knew rationally she was probably overreacting. She had been expecting too much too fast; it was only natural for him to need some time for himself and his friends. But why did he have to lie…? For there was almost no uncertainty in Lily's mind that James had played her false. He had been guilty, not nervous, today, and had perhaps been about to let something slip when Sirius and Peter cornered him. Lily stopped trying to reason with herself after about ten minutes and turned to wallowing in exaggerated self-pity. James had been up to something as soon as he found out she liked him, James had not elected her into his confidence, James James James.

Allowed to herself, Lily stewed until almost quarter-to-one when she finally climbed into bed. Lily had walked over almost every inch of the castle at a quick pace, doing much more than the lazy patrols of herself and James. As she lay there, she discovered that she couldn't sleep. Naturally. She tossed and turned as the minutes ticked by, listening to the gentle breathing of her roommates. Emmeline was snoring faintly.

She was wide awake and at any rate, she didn't want to sleep. Lily wanted to puzzle out this mysterious behavior, this Marauder madness. So she jumped out of bed. Grabbing a thick blanket and an armful of pillows, Lily stalked to the common room. It was empty. She set herself up on the red couch and puffed her pillow ferociously, snuggling under the covers to her chin.

Lily lay there staring into the fire and its strange, twisting flames. I'll ask him tomorrow, she decided suddenly. I'll get him to talk to me. The logs of wood burned white and charred and the smell of warmth and smoky heat drifted into her nose. Lily's eyelids drooped and she gratefully welcomed sleep. Just as she drifted off, she could have sworn that she portrait hole slam…

I'm trying out that slightly "longer" format in the chapters due to the clamoring (well, maybe just requesting) of the readers. I'll see if I can handle this in the future and tell me what you think, please.

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO READ THIS AND REVIEWED