After service, Jeff and Aaron asked how things were going. I said things were fine but Steve hesitated. I knew he wanted to say something but didn't want to say it, too.

"What's going on, Steve?" Jeff asked surprising me. Usually only the gang could tell that something was bothering Steve. He was pretty good at hiding how he felt around others. But somehow, Jeff had picked up on it.

"Soda got drafted." Steve said so quietly that I barely heard him.

"When does he leave?" Aaron asked.

"We don't know." I replied. "Probably soon."

"And you're upset because he's leaving, right?" Jeff asked.

Steve nodded. "And because I wanted to be drafted. Soda won't be able to handle it. His brothers need him."

"Why do you want to go?" Jeff asked while Aaron and I just sat there listening.

"Because there's nothing here for me. It's worthless to stay here." I knew Steve would say that. Even though he knew the gang needed him.

"Your friends need you, Steve." Aaron spoke up. "And I'm sure your family needs you too."

I noticed Steve's eyes flicker with anger. But he said nothing. Probably because Aaron and Jeff didn't know about Steve's family. He usually only talked to Soda about his family. And I only knew what went on because I lived next door to him and could hear everything. However, I knew better than to ask Steve about it.

"My parents wouldn't care if I went to the war." Steve mumbled. "My father would be glad to finally have me out of the house."

Jeff looked at me, but I pretended to be interested in the hymnal. I didn't want to get too involved in the conversation. I didn't want to say that Steve was probably right. After all, his father kicked him out of his house almost every other day. Steve slept on the couch at the Curtis home more than he did in his own bed.

"Why is that?" Aaron asked carefully.

Steve was silent for a minute. Then in a soft angry voice, he whispered, "Because my father doesn't want me around. He kicks me out of the house almost every night. I spend most nights at Soda's. And sometimes, I stay next door with Chris."

"Steve, I know you may not want to hear this, or believe it, but there is a father who does want you around. A father who would never want to kick you out of his house." Jeff said softly.

"Let me guess, Jesus is that father?" Steve looked at Jeff.

Jeff nodded. "Look, I haven't had it easy either. If I was still running around with Tim's gang, I'd probably be looking for a way to go off to the war, too just to escape."

"What makes you so sure that Jesus is the answer to all of life's problems?" Steve asked skeptically. "If he's so great, then why don't more people know him as you would put it?"

"Because like you, they want to keep searching. And some of them just don't want to believe. Is that what you're doing? Refusing to believe?" Aaron responded.

Steve shrugged. "I don't know if I'd call it refusing to believe. I'm just not sure if I can believe all this stuff that you two are trying to tell me. I need time to think about this."

"Steve, what if you leave here and something happens? What if you have no more time to think about this?" Jeff asked seriously.

"Then that's a risk I'll have to take, isn't it?" Steve said. "Look, it's not that I don't want to believe all this. I'm just not totally convinced."

"Do you want to know something?" Aaron asked. "Sometimes, I still have a hard time being convinced about all this. Maybe we should let the subject drop for now. At least your thinking about it and you came here with Chris. That's a good thing. Are you coming to youth service later in the week?"

I nodded. "Ponyboy said he'd come with. And hopefully Soda will too if he doesn't have to leave before then."

"Great, we'll see you then." Jeff said as we got up to leave and went our seperate ways.

"You were quiet in there." Steve commented once we were back in his car.

"Well, they were talking to you, not me." I pointed out.

"So? Are you convinced of all this?" Steve asked.

"I'm not sure." I admitted. "This is all new to me too. If this is what people are searching for, I don't want to miss out. Do you?"

Steve didn't respond. At least not out loud. He just gave me a look as he turned down the street towards the DX station.