A/N: Part two: Doctored angst.
Spoilers from Fear Her.
Disclaimer: belongs to BBC.
Stay with me.
You're the one I need.
You make the hardest things
Seem easy.
(Drugs Or Me - Jimmy Eat World)
We stood and we stared at the sky and I felt you shiver.
I wanted to gather you up, take you away. Somewhere where it could be me and you, you and me, forever. Something a Time Lord's not supposed to feel. I wanted to be able to tell you that you were right; that nothing would ever split us up. And it hurts that I couldn't.
And with you so close by my side, I knew you felt it too.
Something's coming.
It's always been dangerous with us, Rose. You've seen my life, you've lived my life and you know just how dangerous it can be. Because this is what we do.
But whatever this thing, this storm, is; I think it could change everything.
I told you that the beast was lying about you dying in battle. And at the time, I meant it. Because I felt - I still feel - that wherever we were and whatever we were doing, I would do anything to protect you. I would never, never let you go.
But staring up at the sky, I started to feel and realise and know, that not everything's in my power.
I've let you in so much further than anyone else. I've trusted you with so much more. And yet, it's not enough. There are so many things I've still to tell you. I'm desperately trying to form the words, but they seem to stick in my throat. I feel like I should say them now, before it's all too late.
I feel like time is running out.
I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to lose me. I need a hand to hold and I need you to be that hand.
I want to be selfish. I want to keep you for myself and forget the rest of the world. I said you could spend the rest of your life with me. I'd hate to think of you spending the rest of your life with anyone else.
We've lost each other several times before. We've come close to death and despair and disaster. But only temporarily. I wish this didn't feel different.
I wanted to pretend everything would be ok. As if, if we only believed it enough, it would be. But I couldn't. So instead, I gripped your hand a little tighter and pulled you a little closer. Because I needed you by my side.
We didn't mention it after that. We went and watched the games, because that was what we'd said we'd do.
We made each other laugh, then. I mocked your astonishment at the outcomes. You laughed at me and with me. And it felt so good and so normal, but I still couldn't forget. And I knew you felt my unease - you never miss a thing.
Something's coming, Rose, and I'm scared.