"Ok, so what could possibly be better than killing the bastard?"
Dr. Davies looked pointedly at Zelenka before continuing. "I was thinking of humiliation."
Before Radek could question his fellow engineer, an almighty boom went through the air.
"Owch!" yelled Lt. Cadman, who was sitting on the Mess Hall floor, covered in her breakfast, with the remains of her chair inexplicably strewn around her. Jumping up hastily, Laura snatched at a particular piece of chair and held it up to the deathly silent Mess Hall.
"Who the hell fitted my chair with a bomb?" she shouted angrily, shaking the device at her fellow Atlanteans.
While Lt. Cadman was calmed down by Dr. Beckett and dragged reluctantly to the infirmary, Llewellyn, Lydia and Radek were about to start clearing up the wreckage for examination, when a squeal came from the other side of the room.
Dr. Miko Kusanagi was holding a plastic spider, dripping with porridge.
"Is this someone's idea of a joke?" she wailed.
Radek suddenly went ashen.
"Lydia, Llewellyn, would you please help me carry these to my lab for analysis?"
Catching the look the Czech gave him, Dr. Davies replied rapidly, "Dim problem, Radek." Quickly, the trio left the Mess Hall.
Once they had reached Zelenka's lab, Radek ushered them inside and locked the door.
"Um, Radek, what's going on?"
"Is a suspicion, nothing more, but it is something Dr. Kasunagi said."
Lydia looked puzzled. "She asked if the spider was someone's idea of a joke. What's significant about that?"
Llewellyn groaned. "The poster…"
"Yes, the poster."
"Huh? Anyone fancy throwing me a bone me here?"
"You did not visit the Mess yesterday, so you did not see," explained Llewellyn , "Dr. McKay stormed in and put up a notice; apparently, something has been stolen from him, and he wants it back."
Dr. Zelenka took up the narrative. "He called the thieves 'practical jokers'. I'm guessing that the jokers have continued their work."
"So the cold showers, the chair, the spider… they are all the work of some practical jokers?"
"That is my theory."
Llewellyn wondered how far he could trust the two people in the room with him. He'd worked with Radek for six months now and thought that he'd go along with it, but Lydia Winter was new. But she does hate McKay, he mused, So tell them.
"It's not the work of practical jokers… at least, not the ones who stole something from McKay's room," he admitted, looking shifty.
"Oh? Please elaborate, Dr. Davies," ordered Radek, looking intrigued.
"Ah, well, I um… I'm the thief, you see. And I haven't been pulling all these tricks, I just wanted to get back at McKay for calling me a 'sheep farmer who got his degree from some cave in the back end of no-where.' I wanted to humiliate him – it's much more fun than trying to kill someone," he said with a sly look at Dr. Winter.
Lydia grinned, "You're secret's safe with me. What did you steal?"
Llewellyn told them.
Silence.
Then laughter; Dr. Zelenka actually fell to the floor, giggling hysterically.
"You're kidding, right?"
"Nope," chuckled the Welshman, "It's even better; I've got video too."
"This is an opportunity! I'm sure, between the three of us, we can come up with something creative."
"What about a city-wide broadcast? Or emailing it to everyone on the base?" suggested Dr. Zelenka.
Lydia clapped her hands excitedly. "Brilliant! We could upload it onto the Daedalus too, so everyone at the SGC can have a good laugh too!"
"What about holding it hostage?" deliberated Llewellyn.
Radek looked sombre. "We have forgotten something. If Llewellyn is the thief and he is not the practical joker, then who is?"