The next morning everyone was sitting in the kitchen, most of the friends were sitting at the kitchen table. Many of them eating the first or second bowl of cereal. Matthew was standing at a frying pan making himself some pancakes. Ludwig was currently sitting on the couch, drinking a cup of coffee. In his head, he had taken a count of everyone except for Feliciano. When he got this morning, Feliciano was fast asleep. He knew there was probably nothing to worry about but he couldn't help but worry.
"Morning," Feliciano said walking into the kitchen. Everyone started to stare at him. "What?"
"Why are you fully dressed?" Arthur asked taking a sip of tea.
"Oh I, just wanted to get a head start on the day."
"But we're going swimming today," Alfred said very confusedly.
"Must have slipped my mind," Feliciano said with a nervous laugh. He quickly grabbed an apple and took a bite of it.
Ludwig remained in his seat as the whole went down. He thought if saying something but couldn't think of what. Feliciano kept to himself for the remainder of the morning. Soon everyone was finished breakfast and went upstairs to change. When Ludwig got to his room he noticed that Feliciano wasn't with him. He shrugged before changing.
"Can I come in?" Feliciano asked quietly as he knocked.
"Of course," Ludwig said pulling up his swimsuit. Feliciano walked in and over to his bag and started digging through it. "Did you remember your swimsuit?"
"Out of all the things I could forget, I wouldn't forget that, " Feliciano said bringing his arm deeper into the bag. "Just buried in here. Don't wait for me."
"I can..." Ludwig began to stay but Feliciano held up his hand.
"I'm fine Ludwig," Feliciano said before turning back to his suitcase. "I don't want to be the one keeping you guys from the beach. Just go one without me."
Ludwig went to say something. But Feliciano turned around once again and gave him a firm look. Ludwig sighed and whispered something under his breath before leaving. As soon as he was gone, Feliciano pulled out his swimsuit. He held up the briefs, barely used and somewhat comfortable. Then there was the top piece. Slowly he picked it up and held it in his hands. It fit him really nice even if it felt a little tight. He sighed before placing it back down. His eyes not leaving it as he sat in there silently.
"Man Feliciano is missing a nice day," Alfred said as he floated around in the lake.
"I'm sure he'll be down any minute," Ludwig said with a nervous smile. However, he quickly turned around and didn't see anything.
"If he pulls a no show, it's his loss!" Tezera quickly pushed Alfred away. He struggled a bit before slowing back down. Matthew them emerged from under the water. He took a deep breath in a lean on the floating raft. "Hey Matt, see anything cool under there?"
"Nothing yet," Matthew said between a few breaths.
"Tell me when you see a fish or something," Alfred said nonchalantly, waving his hand. Matthew swam over and flipped the float Alfred was on over. Everyone else starting laughing.
"Hey!" Alfred said jumping out of the water.
"What you said you wanted to see fish," Matthew said slyly before Alfred pushed him back in the water.
"Something I can't believe we're related," Arthur said with a sigh.
"Hey, guys!" Feliciano said running down to the beach. He waved as he ran down. Ludwig turned around and smiled. But soon his face contorted into confusion. It looked like Feliciano was wearing swim trunks but he was clearly wearing a t-shirt. "It sure is a hot one."
"Hey Feliciano," Alfred said pushing Matthew to the side. "Come on in the water's great!"
"Um just a moment," Feliciano said nervously. Alfred shrugged and went back to swimming. Feliciano spread out his towel and placed his backpack on the center. "You going in at all, Ludwig?"
"Oh I was waiting for you," Ludwig said a bit sheepishly. He started to remove his shirt and Feliciano looked away. Feliciano held on to the bottom of his shirt tightly. "Are you ready?"
"Yes!" Feliciano said bluntly and loudly. His grip remained tightly on his shirt. Ludwig got up and kicked off his shoes. As they walked towards the water. Feliciano kept holding on to his shirt. Ludwig was quick to deeper in the lake. Feliciano was slower and only went up to his knees.
"Hey, Feliciano you coming in or what?!" Alfred yelled from a good distance away.
"I'm just." Feliciano paused for a brief moment. "Cold."
"Huh it's not that cold," Arthur said quietly.
"Eh that's normal for him," Tezera said bluntly. Emma just shrugged. The two of them swam off.
As the day went on, Feliciano stayed near the shore. He never went past his knees. Ludwig tried to stay with him but Feliciano kept pushing him away. As he swam, Ludwig never kept his eyes off him. Feliciano seemed happy but there was something off about him. Maybe it was the way he was standing still or how he would sway a little it walk around. Something was just off.
"So my vote's for a movie night tonight," Tezera said as everyone sat in the living room in the house. "Any objections?"
"As long as it's not a Marvel movie," Matthew said sheepishly. Alfred let out a loud gasp and had a look of absolute horror on his face.
"I'm down for movie night," Emma said. Everyone nodded in agreement. The room so burst into a discussion of movies. Everyone having their favorite genre and movie from said genre. Ludwig held himself back from yelling out any classic animated Disney movie. Maybe if he got up early enough he could play one before anyone noticed. Sure technically, he could watch one anything on his phone but it wasn't the same. After a few minutes of arguing a buzz covered the room. Everyone froze in place before Feliciano bolted to grabbed his phone.
"Sorry got to take this," Feliciano said quickly before running out of the room.
"Is it just me or does he seem off?" Alfred asked in confusion.
"He's got a lot," Tezera paused for a moment. "Of personal problems right now."
Everyone was quiet for a moment before going back to the topic of movies. Ludwig kept to himself for a majority of it. Only speaking up if whether in agreement or not of the movie idea. His mind could not get off Feliciano. The same worries from earlier returned. He forced himself to remain seated. No matter how much it hurt him. A few minutes, Feliciano came back downstairs. However, now he was wearing an oversized sweatshirt. He plopped down next to Ludwig with a smile. And no one seemed to think much of it.
Movie night went smoothly. Once the debate was over at least. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, However, Feliciano was silent the entire time. He didn't even shush anyone who was talking during the movie. In fact, he didn't even seem all that interested in it. Ludwig remained quiet. Only chiming in every once and a while. He couldn't take his mind off of Feliciano. But he forced himself to keep it to himself.
"What could be bothering him?" Ludwig thought to himself as he dried himself off after a shower. He wrapped a towel around himself before walking across the hall to his room.
"Close the door!" Feliciano screamed in panic leaving Ludwig confused. Nonetheless, he closed the door and Feliciano jumped under the blanket.
"Are you okay?" Ludwig asked still very confused.
"Could, could pass me that the shirt?" Feliciano asked stretching out his arm, pointing to a rather large t-shirt. Ludwig walked over to it and handed it to Feliciano. He moved his arm quickly under the blanket. Ludwig walked over to his drawers and changed into his pjs. Turning he saw Feliciano, still wrapped around in a blanket, staring at him. When he noticed Ludwig looking at him, he buried himself deeper into the blanket.
"I can't deal with this anymore," Ludwig thought to himself. He sat next to Feliciano on the bed. He sighed before sighing. "Feliciano is there something bothering you?"
Feliciano was silent. He buried himself more in the blanket and laid down. Ludwig sat there for a few minutes. He was quiet and his eyes never left Feliciano. After a while, he stood up and started to walk away.
"Can you stay?" Feliciano asked poking his head out of the blanket. Ludwig turned around and smiled. He walked back and sat next to Feliciano. Gently placing a hand on his back.
"Is there anything you need right now?" Ludwig asked after a little bit.
"No," Feliciano said before mumbling to himself. "Besides testosterone."
"I'm sorry you're feeling this way," Ludwig said after a moment. Feliciano sat up in surprise. But after a little bit, he leaned his head on Ludwig's shoulder. He remained silent but loosened the blanket around him.
"So you want to watch some puppy videos?" Ludwig asked after a while. Feliciano lifted his head up and tilted it. "Well, that always cheers me up."
"I suppose it wouldn't hurt," Feliciano said quietly. Ludwig smiled and got up. He pulled out his laptop from his bag and brought it over to Feliciano's bed. He opened up Youtube. Feliciano glanced over and laughed "You have a playlist?"
"Actually I have multiple." Feliciano stared at him but he was smiling slightly. Ludwig laughed a little. "What, I said they cheer me up."
Feliciano smiled as Ludwig scrolled down a little before clicking on one of them. He pressed shuffle and let the playlist. As the puppies started to play Feliciano couldn't help but smile. He snuggled close to Ludwig as the videoes played on. After a bit, he stopped paying attention. He started to stare off at the wall. He could Ludwig chuckle occasionally. Feliciano glanced at him. Seeing him laugh couldn't help but feel a little better.
"Ludwig?" Feliciano asked after pausing the video they were watching.
"What is it?" Ludwig asked softly. He gently cupped Feliciano's face in his hand.
"Is it weird for a guy to swim with a shirt on?"
"Yes..." Ludwig answered very confusedly.
Feliciano turned around and climbed off the bed. He dug through his suitcase and pulled out what looked like a cut off tank top. Even with this?"
"Isn't that your binder?" Ludwig asked now even more confused.
"It's a swim binder," Feliciano explained. Ludwig looked at it and froze in place. Feliciano glanced at him. "I was wearing it today but I dunno I didn't like taking it off. I thought I was ready but, I'm not."
Ludwig wrapped his arm around Feliciano again and brought him close. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable but I will tell you this. If anyone says anything to make you feel like that I won't hesitate to punch them."
"You don't have to do that," Feliciano told him still looking at the binder.
"Don't worry I'll only do it if I have too."
Feliciano smiled and gently kissed Ludwig on the cheek. Ludwig bolted up a little and glanced at Feliciano. He buried his face in the binder a little. And it was bright red. Ludwig smiled and the two moved closer.
"Okay Feliciano you can do this," Feliciano whispered to himself as he walked over to the door. He was wearing his swimsuit minus the t-shirt. He reach for the doorknob but backed away. He looked at himself in the mirror if it wasn't for the black binder he could easily pass for a guy. He played with his hair a little but nothing really worked. "You got to bite the bullet eventually."
"Hey Feli you want waffles?" Feliciano heard Alfred asked knocking on the door. "Emma's making some."
"I guess starting with one wouldn't hurt," Feliciano thought to himself as he walked to the door. He thought to himself. "He's friends with Ludwig and Ludwig wouldn't be friends with some who's transphobic."
"Oh there you are dude," Alfred said as Feliciano opened the door. "So you want waffles?"
"Yeah," Feliciano said still kind of hiding behind the door.
Alfred looked down and his eyes caught the binder. Feliciano backed up behind the door more. He lifted one of his fingers before leaving. Feliciano closed the door a sighed and leaned down. He held himself closely for a moment.
"Feliciano are you still there?" Alfred asked.
"Yes," Feliciano said poking his head out. Looking down he saw Alfred holding a shirt out.
"What is that?" Feliciano asked looking at it.
"It's one of my rash guards from my life guard job," Alfred gave the shirt to Feliciano who held it in his hands. "I brought it in case Mattie or I needed it. It's really cool and dries fast. I figured it could help you out. Sorry If it's a little big."
"Thank you," Feliciano said putting it on.
"And um I'm sorry if I said anything that upset you these past few days," Alfred said rubbing the back of his head.
"It's fine," Feliciano said walking out of the room. He smirked a little. "Race you downstairs."
"Oh you're on," Alfred said they started to run.
"I can do this," Feliciano thought to myself. "I really can be me."