"Alright, last time we let Sasori mess around in the lighter fluid he nearly torched that huge tree in our yard. Zetsu, you light the fire, Kisame go get the wood for the fire pit, Sasori go make some dip….Deidara and I have a score to settle." Itachi said. Itachi glared at Deidara and sat down across from him underneath their umbrella covered table.

"Well, are you ready?" Itachi asked glaring at him.

"I'm ready, yeah." Deidara answered.

"You first." Itachi demanded.

"One, two, three, four….five, six seven….eight…..nine, yeah. Nine." Itachi smiled deviously.

"You only got nine hotel numbers of girls that would commit to our fire pit beach party tonight?"

"Yeah." Daidara answered.

"Did you tell them we had booze?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you tell them we had condoms?"

"Yeah."

"Did you tell them how incredibly hot I was?"

"Hmmm…no…but I did tell them we'd have dip. Oh! I hope it's onion dip, yeah. Don't you hope it's onion dip, yeah?" Itachi scowled.

"Nevermind, it's my turn."

"Oh, you wanted the ranch dip didn't you, yeah? Well, maybe Danna hasn't started…"

"Shut up! Forget my dip preference! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten….eleven. Beat your ass again!"

"Some one help me hang these tiki lights!" Kisame hollered all tangled up in decorative lighting. He had put wood in the fire pit and now Zetsu was going to light it. Itachi went to help with the tiki lights. Meanwhile, inside in the kitchen Sasori was having dip issues. "Oh my god! Do I make the fucking dill dip, the onion dip, the ranch dip, the honey fruit dip, the crab dip, the cheese dip, the salsa dip? Oh my god!" Sasori was flipping out.

"Oh, danna! Make all the dip, yeah!" Deidara had gone into the house to get all the floating pool crap. He had emerged hidden among plastic inflatables.

"What will we do with all that dip if I make it all?" Sasori asked.

"Itachi and I invited a lot of girls, yeah and girls love dip!" Deidara said tripping over himself as he made his way toward the pool. Sasori took Deidara's…less than practical advice and began working to make 7 different kinds of dip.

"Can't you hold it any higher?" Kisame demanded.

"No! I can't help it that you're 2 foot taller than me!" Itachi yelled back at him.

"What the hell's wrong with your bloodline? Why are you all so small? I mean have you seen your brother? He's 12 and he looks like he's 10!" Kisame said.

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Uchiha's are late bloomers!" Itachi screamed wrapping himself up in the lights he couldn't hang.

"You've already bloomed…Itachi." Kisame said.

Zetsu was having some serious pyrotechnic problems.

"So, how do I know when to stop pouring the lighter fluid?" he asked Deidara.

"Hmmm…well the fire's not burning, yeah. So, keep pouring I guess. Then when the wood catches fire, it will be enough, yeah!" You'd think Akatsukis would have more common sense than this…so much for thinking.

The following pool inflatables were floating in the pool: A big alligator, 3 rings, one purple, one blue and one plaid. A flat pink raft, a blue and yellow Corona raft, an inflatable sting ray, a beach ball, an inflatable banana, a blue foam raft and 6 fun noodles. Yes, you could imagine that nearly the entire surface of the pool was covered in pool garb. Once Zetsu ran out of lighter fluid, he went inside to ask Sasori why the fire did'nt light…after all…he had used all the lighter fluid…

"Okay, Deidara, Sasori says I have to put a match to the wood…and why the hell did you put all that stuff in the pool?

"It's the beach Zetsu, yeah! You have to have inflated stuff!" Zetsu rolled his eyes and went back to his fire. Kisame organized the liquor while Itachi went inside to get first dibs on the Dolce and Gabbana shirt Deidara had planned on wearing that night…that was okay…after Deidara would spend 5 minutes cursing at Itachi he would just go steal Itachi's black Prada V-neck shirt (and that pissed Itachi off like nothing else). Zetsu screamed like a 6 year old as he was practically engulfed in flames. However, once he gained control of his fire, he explained to Deidara that you had to use matches…

Sasori was beginning to bring his complete dips outside. However, Sasori noticed that there was a problem….he already had 4 dips made but there were no chips for the dip. Of course, this was Itachi's evil plan because he had every intention of getting his female friends to lick dip off his fingers…screw chips. Sasori of course didn't understand the absence of chips and so he too a break from being the 'dip chef' to go buy chips. Itachi appeared in Deidara's white Dolce and Gabbana shirt and for once he didn't raid Deidara's clothes, instead he wore his own shorts. He sat with Kisame by the pool.

"Why do women not think you're gay? I mean look at you…you're…trendy." Kisame asked Itachi.

"Kisame, I am completely evil and heartless and I have long, shiny black hair…that completely offsets my trendiness." Kisame nodded.

"Good point."

Sasori returned with 13 bags of chips…it was only then that Itachi lost it and screamed at Sasori why there weren't any chips. When we return….it's party time…