After reading this….you'll laugh every time you go to McDonald's…

"Let me be the co pilot! I want to read the map, yeah! Besides, Itachi got us lost too much." Deidara whined. Yes, it was time to go back home, Oddly, Kisame won the 'nicest tan' contest which was strange considering he was….blue…. Everyone was reluctant to let Deidara co pilot, but it was true Itachi had really screwed up and Dediara had a tendency to always read the maps upside down, but Zetsu was behind the wheel and it was his call…

"Fine, but don't spill coal all over me like you did the last time you were co pilot!" Deidara was overjoyed. They had spent half the morning loading the van, which was more of a challenge this time since Itachi and Deidara had purchased so many clothes that the bags took up all the space where all the other stuff used to be. But, nonetheless everybody crammed in the van and they were off toward home.

"So, did you see the gift I got 'the leader'?" Sasori asked.

"Yes, it's stupid, where the hell did you get that? And who the hell wants a welcome mat that says 'leave your worries behind'?" Itachi said.

"Well, you know 'the leader' likes tacky shit!" Sasori said. Kisame laughed.

"Yeah, remember the time I got him a set of lawn gnomes? Or the time Deidara brought him back 4 boxes of salt water taffy? He went crazy over that!"

"Oh my god! I thought he was gonna flip the time Itachi came back with one of those t-shirts that makes you look like you're wearing a bikini, you know it's got the bikini screen print on it? That was so stupid and yet he loved it!" Sasori said.

"Okay, Deidara do I go left or right to get on the interstate?" Zetsu asked, approaching a fork in the road. Deidara looked at the map.

"Um…you go…you…well…"

"Deidara!" Zetsu yelled running out of time to make a decision.

"Um…um, um. Um. You go left! No, right! Yeah! No, Shit! Wait! Left! Left! Left! No! No! No! Right! Right! Right! Riiiiiight! Yeah! Wait…."

"Deidara you fucking moron decide!" Zetsu was down to the last second and cars were honking everywhere as he dodged in and out of lanes.

"Left! Left! Left! Go left, yeah!" And so Zetsu swerved left nearly killing everyone. After that horrific incident of terror was over Deidara didn't need to give any more directions for a while.

By 12:40, everyone decided that they were starving and that Zetsu still rode the breaks too much.

"Where do you want me to stop?" Zetsu asked. Everyone looked around and fortunately they were approaching an exit with the following choices: Waffle House, Captain D's, Wild Bill's BBQ Shack, House of Hunan, and McDonald's and since everybody knows that McDonald's has a monopoly on everyone...well they went there and it was probably a huge mistake that Zetsu got in the drive-thru line. It should be made known that Akatsukis were not the best at drive-thurs. In the past 3 years they had successfully pissed off approximately 42 drive-thru attendants…today would be no exception…

"Oh! I want to order, yeah!" Deidara proclaimed. Before Zetsu could say anything otherwise, Deidara had pounced into his lap and was hanging blonde hair out the driver's side window.

"Uuuh! That's not a problem Deidara, your knee jammed between my crouch doesn't hurt anything…your other knee in my thigh doesn't hurt either." Zetsu said more than sarcastically.

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's! Would you like to try a spicy chicken breast filet, today?" The bubbly attendant asked.

"Uuuum….well, how spicy is it, yeah? Have you tried it? Would you recommend it, yeah?"

"Well…" The attendant began but was cut off.

"Oh! I think we want a number 2….no…no we don't want a number 2. Which number is most popular, yeah?"

"Sir, it's really…" Deidara cut her off again.

"Okay, uuuum…I would like a large diet coke…no, no a super size diet coke, yeah. Wait…Danna, what do you want?" So far Deidara had ordered one item and there were four cars lined up behind them.

"Sir, I really need for you to…" Deidara once again didn't let her finish.

"Okay, we're good, yeah. Okay, I'd like one number 3 super size…wait no, no no super size on that, yeah."

"So, yeah you want it super size?" the attendant asked.

"No, no yeah."

"Sir, is that yes or no?" It's at this point that Zetsu screamed no to the attendant. The traffic was now backed up to the street.

"Okay, one number 2, one BigMac for Kisame and he would like large fries with that, yeah. Okay, and that's not all. We also need a number 6…wait no….2 number sixes and oh! We'll try one of those spicy chicken sandwiches, yeah. But wait, can we get that with no lettuce, yeah? Oh, okay and we need one quarter pounder with cheese but no mustard just ketchup and the BigMac…no sauce, yeah." Cars began honking angrily at the AKTSUKI van. "Okay, I also would like that diet coke that I mentioned earlier, a super size lemonade…" the attendant cut Deidara off for once.

"Sir, we don't have lemonade here."

"Oh ok, hold on…Itachi, they don't have lemonade, yeah." Deidara said.

"Who the fuck doesn't have lemonade? Fucking McDonald's that's who! Ok I'll take Hi-C orange!" Itachi bitched.

"Okay, I'm back yeah. I'll take a medium Hi-C Orange…" Itachi cut Deidara off.

"No! A large you moron!" Itachi screamed.

"No, no no…make that a large Hi-C Orange, a medium water…wait, yeah, a super size…wait Danna do you want super sizing on that?"

"Well…okay." Sasori answered. No one in the van seemed to care that this order had already taken 10 minutes.

"Okay, yeah so yes super sizing on the water, a medium regular coke no super size, and a large iced tea sweetened with no ice." Deidara flipped back across Zetsu's lap satisfied with their order…the attendant didn't even read it back to them.

"You know, that's the fastest we've ever made up our mind in a drive thru!" Kisame said.

And this concludes the Akatsuki beach trip…until next year when they do it again. But until that time comes…there are many more experiences to be had by the super evil organization…