The World Of Destiny Island
A/N: Kingdom Hearts is the property of Square-Enix and Disney (along with a few others; Tim Burton's the Nightmare Before Christmas for example.)
Whatever Happened is by and copyright The Strokes, from their Room On Fire album.
Whatever Happened
The very first time Kairi saw an elf was the morning Frega (no surname thankyouverymuch) stepped onto their porch and upended the lives her family.
Not that their lives were particularly happy at the time.
"Good morning," he said when she opened the door. A ray of sunshine suddenly fell square upon him, birds and deer settled around him (despite the fact that no deer have been sighted on the island, ever), and music started playing nearby. He was an unusual little person, with blue hair and sharp good looks in a perfectly white three-piece suit and weirdest of all (in Kairi's addled brain) the little spats on his feet.
Kairi thought he had to be the most beautiful thing in the entire tri-island area (consisting of the Isle of Man (where the double-entendre's never stop) the Island of Beautiful Women/Men (changes every year (don't ask)) and Happy Fun Time Island (home to the worlds largest species of tree cobra and chupacabra populations)) and aside from the impeccable grooming and classy taste in suits he had an overall… adorableness.
"I love you," Kairi whispered in that sappy way only teenagers can manage.
"What?" he demanded. The hallucination disappeared. Kairi shook her head to clear it, but it didn't help how nervous and giddy she felt.
"Can I help you?" Kairi asked, "Anything at all? Whatever you need, I'll do everything I can to help you… oh yes I will!" She babbled on stupidly until he held up an impatient hand.
"Your parents, they're Dr. Zephram and Myrna Unne?"
"Sure. I–"
"And are they currently in the residence?" he asked coldly.
"Yes!" Kairi exulted, feeling grateful to be able to answer this wonderful creature's questions. "Yes…. Uh, oh no." Her mood dipped dramatically.
"What?" he snapped.
"I'm sorry sir. My father has been missing for a couple of months. We don't know when he'll be back."
The little elf (he only stood about as tall as Kairi) looked so crestfallen that Kairi thought she would burst into tears on the spot. He frowned and tipped his head in thought.
"No. No. No. This is… well, humph! Get your mother out here, will you?"
"Oh that's a terrific idea!" Kairi enthused, "She's good at making people feel better. And so am I!" She was nearly hyperventilating with happiness.
"Just. Go," the elf started to massage his temples. Kairi got the impression that she annoyed him. She stumbled over her own feet and went to do his bidding.
This is it, she thought, he's The One
She dashed up the stairs, knocking over an accent table covered in knick knacks that shattered loudly.
"Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!"
Destiny Island's honorable Mayor, (or Mom) rushed out of her bedroom in alarm to the frantic cries.
"What is the matter with– yikes!" After all that had happened in the last couple of months, Mom would've been happy to see Kairi so happy; but the crazy gleam in her eyes made her wonder if the strain had finally gotten to poor little Kairi.
"There's an elf at the door! He's…" she paused dramatically and sighed, "gorgeous."
"An elf, hm? That's pretty unusual," Mom's brow furrowed.
"I love him! I'm going to marry him! And have his babies and grow old with him!"
"I don't think so," Mom said. "You see, elves have this ability–" Kairi cut her off, practically dancing around her.
"I do love him! He's The One. I know it! I can feel it in my very soul!"
"So dramatic," Mom shook her head. "Well, let's go settle this. You're not in love."
"Yes I am!" Kairi chirped.
Kairi huddled close behind her mother and together they opened the door to see the elf leaning against the door jam and tapping his foot impatiently. He straightened up when he saw the Mayor, took off his hat and held it against his chest, and leaned back to look her in the face. They stood this way for a moment: she staring down at him with eyes wide and her jaw on her chest; he staring up at all six feet of her and quickly becoming uncomfortable.
"Well. Hello Myrna, been a long time, hasn't it?" he spoke first. Kairi thought he had the loveliest voice, and it was so cute the way his pointy little ears dipped when he talked. And was that a tail? It was! A long thin tail with a tuft of blue at the end gracefully looped back and forth behind him.
"Urk," Mom said.
"I'll bet you're shocked to see me– all alive and everything, hmm?" he asked pointedly.
"Ack!" Mom said.
"Well, I'm back. No thanks to the other three. Oh, I don't blame you particularly, but… well… what's wrong with you?"
"Frega," Mom gasped. "How could you… stand there and be alive!" she yelled jubilantly and picked him up to hug him. "Oh, you sweet little thing! I'm so happy!"
"Put me down!" Frega protested, and would've kept protesting if she hadn't squeezed the air out of him. He kicked his legs uselessly.
"Mom, you know him? From where?" Kairi asked.
"He's our old friend, Frega! We were on a quest together back in the day!" Mom always called the part of life before she married old Dr. Unne as "back in the day". It irritated Kairi to no end, and this time she felt a particular flush of jealousy at her mother's knowledge of the most precious creature called Frega. "He disappeared at the end and we all just assumed… Frega, you look fantastic. Where've you been?"
Mom put the ruffled creature on his feet and pet his head familiarly. Frega shuddered and backed away.
"My name's Kairi," Kairi introduced herself as he had forgotten to inquire– most likely an oversight.
"I don't care," he spat.
"You sound like you could use a hug," Kairi said, and congratulated herself on her brilliance. She reached out to embrace him.
"Stay away from me, you filthy non-elf," Frega hissed. "I only put up with your mother because– well, I don't really like it when you touch me either, Myrna."
"Kairi," her mother said sharply, "go to the temple and fetch the Praetor."
"But Mom," Kairi whined, wishing more than anything else in the world to stay in Frega's company.
"This is important," her mother insisted. "Baralai will be so pleased to see you again!" Mom said to Frega.
"Never listens to a word I say," Frega muttered. "Better hurry, Kairi. I have a schedule to keep, and important things to do."
"Oh, I'll bet!" Kairi said earnestly. She happily dashed off to the Temple to fulfill her new love's request.
"The Sphere of Coronado," the Praetor held the luminous sphere to the light in his study, "The priceless gift to the explorer from the King of Portico City… It belongs in a museum."
My museum, he laughed inwardly.
He polished the sphere with the soft rag in his hand and placed it carefully among the other treasures lining his dusty shelves; statues, cups made of human skulls, shrunken heads, spearheads with perilous curses from the dead, enchanted books, magic shoes, crowns from forgotten civilizations, banners of horsehair said to contain the souls of their owners, stone panels depicting heavenly nymphs, and a stack of old Entertainment From The Land of Tomorrow magazines.
He looked over his collection and felt a surge of pride. If the Order knew how many of these treasures he had in his possession they'd throw him in jail again, and old Galuf would croak.
Baralai sat back in his favorite recliner and picked absently at the crumbling skull of a Storm Dragon on his end table. This ugly thing came to him as a gift from the village in Zozo for getting rid of the poor, mad creature that had terrorized the citizens. It had been an old dragon, its senses left it when it developed a rapidly degenerative case of brain fever. The Order always sent him in to euthanize the crazy ones.
It wasn't easy to juggle both the duties to the Temple and the Order of Dragoons at the same time, but he couldn't imagine that he'd stay too sane if he didn't have the Order to occupy his free hours, especially when things went wrong in his personal life.
A good example was the time his wife left him and their son for a professional Skier and the life of a slope bunny in Western Panacea.
"I'm leaving you, Baralai. I'm not cut out to be a exile's wife on some backwards, podunk island in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of inbred criminal types especially with a man who makes so little money! I need space to grow and freedom to spread my wings and beautiful surroundings to feed my spirit… Also, Wayne can ski the K12 and has a tasty car. I'll send you my forwarding address later."
She left him standing there with his neighbors staring at them, so wide-eyed with shock that they looked cartoonish.
"Ah... Well, kids," the quick-thinking Mayor said, sounding flustered, "who wants to come to my house for some cookies?" The kids, having only a vague idea what they just saw really dug that idea. She picked up Riku and cuddled him, he was only four at the time.
"Say something," she whispered to her husband and pushed him in the Praetor's direction.
"Um…" was all Dr. Unne could say. After all, his wife wasn't a shallow, faithless whore. It just wasn't fair.
"She'll be back, right?" the poor Praetor whined.
"I don't think so. I'm sorry."
"I'm sure she was only kidding," the Praetor went on. "She's a terrible practical joker."
"Umm..."
"She'll be back…"
He got up to get some wine. That flashback always created a dire need for a drink. The need was probably a deep-seated wish to recreate the three or four month mourning period after she left him, much of that time he had been completely out of touch. He never would've given up drinking if those divorce settlement papers hadn't shown up so quickly.
"Lambrusco? Or Moscotto?" he wondered out loud. He finally settled on the Lambrusco and went to sit on the back porch and drink it, when the doorbell rang.
He sighed and flung open the door.
"Yes?"
The Unne's flighty kid– Kairi, he was sure that was the name– stood on the doorstep with a frightened look on her face.
"Sir? Um… uh... hi!" she giggled nervously. He tapped his foot impatiently. Kairi shifted nervously. He secretly renamed her Trouble, because she was turning into a real beauty and she didn't have much in the way of social savvy. He had a feeling a certain pair of boys were going to kill each other over this one, and this made him feel guilty for trapping Riku in such a small community. "My Mom wants to see you," she finally said, and having delivered her message she began to back away.
"What for?" he demanded. He hadn't spoken directly to the Mayor for nearly ten years.
"Frega's in town!" she said loopily, the attitude shift was so quick and complete that he nearly dropped his drink. She skipped away.
Idiot girl, he thought.
He dropped his glass of wine when what she said hit him.
That night...
"I've been talking to their leader," Wakka's father said at dinner. The man he referred to was Garm, leader of the group of white mages that swept down on the town after the night of… the incident. "He seemed very receptive to the idea."
"Great, Pop," Wakka grunted.
"We might even get you outta here before the start of the season," his father said.
"That's great."
"You shouldn't give up your dreams just because of, well, you know."
"Uh-huh."
"I mean, who knows when another opportunity like this will present itself again. You gottta fight for everything."
"Sure."
"Otherwise you'll just end up an old fisherman like me."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that," his mom added.
"No," his father agreed, "anything's better than being a nasty, stinking, lying pirate." His father slammed his fist into the table and glared at whatever memory made him hate pirates so.
"Yeah, Dad. Absolutely," Chappu agreed too quickly and shared a nervous look with his mom.
"I never did find the scum bag that marooned your sweet mother!" their father sighed, deeply disappointed with himself. The boys rolled their eyes because they knew what came next.
"Do you remember Fujin? I'll never forget the day I rescued you from that desert island," father gazed out the window and assumed his storytelling voice.
"I was trolling for catfish near the bay…" The tale had been told a thousand times, and it bored them because Mom had told them both the real story when they were little– she hadn't been marooned, her ship sunk when she and the crew she inspired to mutiny made a fatal error keeping the gunpowder next to the "designated smoking area." She and Uncle Raijin had been picked up by a passing fisherman (Dad) and she told an elaborate lie so to get him to go out with her, and now they had to listen to this story every other week.
"There she was, this hot little flooring inspector–"
That was the other thing, the way he told it. Ick!
"Ah! Should I even be listening to this?" Chappu said on cue.
"She had this cute little–"
"Dad, don't talk about Mom that way," Wakka said his part of the script.
"Right there on the deck–"
"Aw, no," Chappu looked up at the ceiling and squinted his eyes shut. "Time to repress another memory."
"I have to go skulk around on the roof now," Wakka stood up. No one stopped him, Dad didn't even pause in his story (Chappu pretended to scratch his chin and gave Wakka the finger.)
He started his circuit by circling the peak on his family's house three times and from there he jumped across to Tidus' roof and repeated the ritual. Not every house got the same treatment (for instance, every night he'd randomly rearranged the window boxes in old Mrs. Awoloku's second story windows) and his pathway altered a little bit every night. Most of the buildings in town were visited and the whole trip took him about two hours.
This had been going on for a few months, long before that night everybody– well, everybody left alive in town called "the Incident." His family members were the only people who knew that he did this strange ritual, and they tolerated it because a) nobody got hurt and b) Wakka claimed it was the only way he could sleep at night.
Wait, nobody got hurt?
Well, that changed that very night when Wakka stepped on the loose tile on the abandoned house near Scuttle's Market and slid with half the roof over the edge and fell two stories down to the ground.
He lay for some time while the stars wobbled overhead. Someone gasped and ran over to him.
"Wakka? Are you alright? Oh no, you're hurt! I'll help you," a blur leaned over him and put something soft beneath his head. "What were you doing up there?" Three Kairi's came into focus in front of him.
"Nothing important."
"Well, you could've killed yourself or broken your back!" the three Kairi's melded into one irked-looking Kairi. "And you were this close to nailing me as well!" She held up her hands to show how far she'd been from the raining debris.
"I'm sorry, Kairi." The apology mollified her, she had never been one to hold a grudge. He suddenly noticed she was dressed up quite a bit differently– as though she were on her way to a party. Strange, who would be motivated to throw a party these days?
And maybe because he was lying dazed on a pile of broken shingles he said something he never, ever would've had the guts to say to any woman (at least at this point in his life.)
"You look beautiful," he said, "In fact, I always kind of admired you. Would you go to the spring dance with me?"
"You must've really hurt your head. There's no spring dance– it's the middle of August fer cryin' out loud! Let me get a look at you," she stooped down and helped pull him upright. Then she poked at the back of his head like she knew what she was doing. "You knocked yourself a good dent here," she said with a joking smile.
"I'm feeling better," he said, embarrassed. "Whatcha dressed up for? You look nice."
"No reason," she lied, and he knew she lied, but it seemed endearing to him how badly she did it. "You don't think these shoes are a bit much?" she asked.
Wakka quickly thought back to his "vast" knowledge of women, which consisted of advice he got from other people when he was trying to work up the nerve to ask out a girl he'd liked:
Mom: "Nobody is good enough for my sons! NOBODY!"
Chappu: "I read this article in FHM that says you can get a woman to take off her clothes for you in like sixty seconds!"
Sora: "Huh? I dunno. Hmmm... What would Arthur P. Fonzerelli do?"
Riku: "Oh, I get it! This is just some clever way of saying I look like a girl, or I am a girl, or something to that effect, right? Well, ha-ha, asshole!" (At this point Riku stabbed him.)
Selphie: "Oh my god! Oh my god! Okay, first let's give you a makeover!"
Tidus: "First, tell her you're asking her out for me. Then… okay, it's not a brilliant plan. Hmmm... What would the Fonze do?"
The Mayor: "Just be yourself, no reason not to, you're a wonderful young man. Would you like something to eat?"
Dr. Unne: "When I was your age I learned– believe it or not– that when it comes to cologne, more is not better. And chicks dig facial hair– not too much, just a enough to make you look like a man. I'm sure you know what I mean..."
Pirates: "Woman! Woman! Woman! Woman! Woman!"
Dad: "If she asks you how she looks in something, you can never go wrong with 'it looks good on you, and it brings out the color of your eye.'"
"They look great, and they bring out the color of your eyes," he blurted out. 'Stupid!' he thought when he realized he was referring to her shoes. How can shoes bring out the color of anyone's eyes? "Uh, from far away…"
Kairi appeared to think that he was crazy, but the moment didn't last long. She smiled again– not pitingly or mockingly.
"Thanks. Will you be okay?"
"Sure," he staggered to his feet and tried to look manly. "I've taken worse hits." He felt compelled to brag about his athletic accomplishments just then, not really his style but anything to get her to stay a moment longer.
"Well. Okay," she said before he could elaborate. "Bye."
He stared after her.
What just happened to him?
"Heyyy..."
To Be Continued