Harry Potter and the wish of one night
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Soooooo. Um…. This is Setsuna's life…
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Remus led Setsuna to his quarters. No one would overhear what was possibly the biggest blackmail one could ever get on one such as this girl. His-basically, if not legally- god-daughter. She was going to tell him what made her indifferent to bruises and cuts, what made her cry, what all her weaknesses were. And, maybe, if he could find that penseive…
"Would it be easier if you showed- not told?" he asked gently. He only just made out the hesitative nod and the mumbled 'you'll understand it more'. He muttered a quiet wait and left in search of tissues, tea, and the ever-eluding pensieve. When he returned, he found her in a state of numb disposition- fingering that mysteriously gloved hand.
"Are you ready?" he used a gentle voice he didn't even know he had. She nodded and said something. He almost didn't catch it.
"To go through all my memories would take to long. I'll make a story of it. Ironic my life is you know." And she pulled out her wand and placed the first memory in the pensieve.
Remus found himself in… he didn't know where. He was looking at a small girl, the age of four or five. For a moment, he didn't recognize the girl for Setsuna- then he saw her eyes. Spitting images of Sirius'.
He saw her looking at crumpled paper- evidence that it had been read several times. He noticed that the way her eyes wavered over the paper, that she couldn't read it- and yet she knew exactly what it meant.
He walked over to it and saw that it also had a few markings on it. Words she had circled or crossed out. The letter read:
Setsuna, yes, that's your name you retched girl. Setsuna Lily Black.
I, being the kind-hearted soul that I am, am enclosing a letter from your father- edited of course. You don't deserve to know who your father is.
You are the main reason he didn't betray James and that insufferable redhead, what's-her-name. He truly turned when he met that Potter boy. And I am so glad he is gone. Don't worry though- he isn't dead- he is in a state far worse.
He and the redhead are, at this moment, undergoing a horrible torture that- I am told- took days for the Dark Lord to carry through. But back to the subject.
Your father refused to kill them… and now he is going to Azkaban! Yes, don't worry your horrid head about it though, you freak. There is nothing you can do!
So, you know who your are and if you must know- and I do insist- the house you are under is # 3 Privite Dr. I put you there because I couldn't put up with your wailing. I hadn't intended to either. You are a horrid child.
From a loving mother of Regulus.
He watched as she changed papers. This one in Sirius' familiar scrawl. His head was filled with so many questions as he read:
My beloved Setsuna,
If, by chance you do get this, I want you to know that you are my pride and joy. If you are reading this I am either in Azkaban, on the run, or dead. I pray that I am running. The reason would be because I went to kill Peter Pettigrew- the one who betrayed my dear friends, Lily and James Potter. And I either failed or succeeded. I don't know which would be better, to fail or to succeed. I try not to think about it. I just can't bear that they are dead.
My first friends… Remus is still alive, but I do not know for how long. Werewolves are being hunted, as they are known to be followers of Voldemort. Remus isn't though.
Please don't think that I am abandoning you because I hate you. On the contrary, I am abandoning you because I love you. You would be in more danger with me than anywhere else. It is far better that you be taken to an orphanage. You can be adopted there and be in a loving family.
I hope that one day I will see you again… that I will see you and Harry. Harry is my godson. Lily and James' son. Dumbledore has him in his care. You and Harry always did get along… in a baby type way.
May your life be full of love and all the things you deserve,
Sdfghtjk
The name was blotched at the end. His moms doing. Of course she had died shortly after…
Wow, so many things to take in. lily and James might be alive… oh, do you know what you have shown me Setsuna?
He spiraled into the next memory…
He watched as she played with a young Harry, not a care in the world showing. She was 7 or so. Then he watched as it started raining and Harry went in. she, went under the house next door.
He watched her get pummeled by an 8-year-old Dudley.
He watched her cry, as Harry didn't show up like he had promised.
He watched her read her Hogwarts letter, and her trek to the train station. He watched her look at Harry, and then, how she was ambushed. All went dark.
He watched as she woke up. How she learned she was on another planet. Destiny, they had said.
He watched her get trained. All the elements at her command… her exquisite use of the bow… of the sword. He watched as she cried under the strain of being a telekinesis. And suddenly her words made sense… ' Please don't think so loud.'
He watched as a 14 year old girl faced Corna, how she was marked.
He watched, in horror, friend after friend that she had made on each of the planets die…
He watched her blame herself for their more than gruesome deaths. Some being embedded with their own weapons. They had all been fighting for the same cause… freedom…
He watched the planet die. That entire race extinguished. He remembered how so many blamed the deaths on her- and she believed them. He watched her suffer in pain and knowledge. The guilt of killing- even if the enemy wasn't all human- and the loss of all her friends.
He watched her move to the next planet to complete her training. He heard the prophecy…
'When the Dark Lord of Earth and the Dark Entity, Chaos, combine, darkness will consume all. As the boy of Earth will know ' there will be a power the Dark Lord Knows not' and the girl will learn too. The girl, marked twice by evil, knowledge of death fresh, suffering all past, is the only hope to defeat Chaos. Just as the Boy is the only able to defeat the Dark Lord, the girl is the only one able to defeat Chaos. Together they may fail. Apart the will fail. Pain precedes them both; their destiny's intertwined. If the boy fails, Earth will fall. If the girl fails, all of the stars are doomed. Together they join…together…'
How horrible…
He watched as another battle occurred. A small victory. They defended enough to live. Once again, her friends all dead. Once again, before her vary eyes. Once again, gruesome and painful.
Many put in mocking positions and horrible things done to each and every one of them. Her only boyfriend… died defending the one he truly loved. And it wasn't her.
He watched her suffer alone and rejected. How her only friend was forced to not even set her eyes upon her by her family.
How she came to earth… the battle… her weaknesses… her only remaining friend dieing for Harry. The other mark….
He spun out…
He caught himself as he lost his balance. He saw Setsuna, on the floor, hunched and in a fetal position. She wasn't crying, yet. She seemed to be reliving everything. He knew he hadn't relived everything either. Too many gaps. But she was… his poor god-daughter… to have that much weight on her… just like Harry….
She seemed to take it worse and yet better than Harry though.
Worse, because she knew the extent of the whole situation. She knew that it all came down to her- and a boy she didn't know. Or thought she didn't know. and it would only be more painful when she found out who it was… Worse, because she held it all in, had no one to share it with.
Better, because she kept her cool- for the most part. She accepted her fate- however unwillingly. She didn't get all temperamental either.
She took her responsibility not lightly- which was good. But she also didn't live. At least Harry had Quiditch… she had nothing. She had dead friends and a world against her. Harry had friends, and Voldemort against him.
And yet, the pain, though obviously not equal, seemed equal. Each had all the pain they could handle on their shoulders. One could handle more than the other but at the same time… couldn't. It didn't truly make sense to him and yet it did. His head hurt.
Never the less, he fell to the ground next to her, and comforted her. After a while she said,
"Remus, I feel so empty, that I'm fading out of the world. I feel like I could just disappear… it would be so much easier. Easier than remembering you're the cause of so much pain. Easier than having nightmares that bring the reliving of all your friends deaths back to you. Easier than living. Yet, at the same time I think of all the people that would die…I feel, as though that every person that has come into my life eventually leaves. Like their time on planets was designated by me. Like they were born to know me, and died to cause me pain. That I'm all alone, and that even if someone does care about me, his or her time will end… I feel…gone."
Remus didn't know what to say. She continued.
"I feel like, that if I looked in a mirror, I would see only a ghost of what I could have been. Of the person I'm not. I feel that if I went into someplace dark I would blend in so completely, so fully, that I would become the dark. Because it's the truth, I am dark. I'm tainted by this cursed arm, and this even more cursed hand. I can never be what I want to be. I feel… lost. Lost like a leaf that fell from a tree and doesn't know which way to go. Lost like rain that fell in a sea of water. Pushed by waves, and drowned by such force. Lost like a chick far from its mother, far from safety. Far, from a home that can shield it from reality. Shield it from the alligator, shield it from the rain. Protect it from itself. That's what I am Remus. A weapon against myself. I am my own worst enemy. I am everyone's enemy."
Remus could only comfort her as she let out all her fears, frustrations, and weaknesses. He didn't even notice that it was long past diner.
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Ok. Not exactly how I wanted it to go but still effective.
Amara159