The World Of Destiny Island
A/N: Kingdom Hearts is the property of Square-Enix etc, etc...
Daydream Believer is by and copyright The Monkees, from their The Birds, The Bees, & The Monkees album. (I love old music :)
Daydream Believer
"Sir, we've got a copy of the latest commercial, just as you asked," a young tech dropped by the office and left a DVD on Frega's desk. He spared Kairi the smallest glance, but other than that she was being ignored by all.
"Thanks Julian," Frega said.
He dismissed the tech and opened the cabinet doors of his bookshelf to reveal a large screen.
"Since we have such a handy test audience available," Frega said to her, "I'd like to show you this commercial that was developed to run once LC officially makes contact with Earth. Sit on the couch."
Frega dimmed the lights in the office and started the commercial.
It opened on a golf course.
"Why's that man wearing armor while playing golf?" she asked right away.
"Save your questions for later, please," Frega said.
"Hi there," the man said, the armor made his voice sound ominous and booming. "My name is Golbez, and I'd like to talk to you about transportation."
The name "Golbez" faded in on the screen and underneath it the title: "Vice-President of Lunanarian Concern Unlimited."
Some grainy black and white footage of a steam engine ran across the screen.
"Since ancient times, people have often wanted to get from point A to point B without spending too much of their time and energy worrying about how it was accomplished. But there was a special brand of people who did worry about it–"
A picture of the most photogenic technicians was slapped on the screen.
"Our people. From the days of the hamster-powered horseless carriage–"
This time there was black and white footage of a hamster that had obviously been raised on steroids running through a wheel.
"–to the fuel-efficient elevators that ran on summoner burnings–"
A still of some women being roasted alive.
"Oh, how awful!" Kairi said.
"–all the way to today's Wish Fulfillment Warp Drive, Lunarian has been behind the scenes, making improvements and thinking outside the polygons! Our motto is: if it gets you somewhere, then it must have been built by Lunarian Concern!
"So maybe you're saying to yourself: Golbez, what can Lunarian do for me? For Earth? Well my friends, the sky is not the limit! Your wildest dreams can come true. For more information, we invite you to our booth at the Zanarkand Technology Trade Show in October for the unveiling of our launch product for Earth.
"Come on you earthlings! Do you want to stay on your lousy planet forever? Come to the Zanarkand Technology Trade Show, it'll change your life!"
The company logo and it's tagline dropped into the scene over Golbez:
Lunarian Concern of Earth Unlimited: We Just Want To Be Your Friends.
The commercial ended.
"I can't believe they have the gall to use us for a stupid market survey," Wakka said after the group in guest quarters one were forced to watch the commercial.
"Please write your comments in the space provided on your survey," the KillBot ordered him.
Stitch rebelliously ate his survey form.
The door to the guests quarters opened. Chappu stood there with his gym bag slung over his shoulder and a grin on his face. In his other hand he held a gun that looked more like a toy. He aimed at the survey KillBot and fired the largest bullet any of them had ever seen. The projectile exploded on impact, spraying a translucent and noxious goo over the robot. It jerked and swayed.
"zzzZZZzz...You...Won't...Get...Away...With...This...ZZZZZzzz" The Kill-Bot said in it's monotone mechanical voice before keeling over with a dramatic scream.
"Yeah? That so?" The kid asked in his baddest Bad-Ass voice, the effect wasn't exactly terrifying.
"Yay! We're leaving!" Lilo cheered.
"I'm bustin' us outta here," Chappu said. "Shut the door!"
"No! Let's get out of here right now!" Wakka said.
"I need a moment to plan! I'm a little winded. Plus, I'm kinda wingin' it cause somethin' came up and–"
"What do we need to do?" Lilo said, getting down to business.
"Grab all the valuables that aren't nailed down and on fire, we'll need money."
"Why?" Wakka demanded.
"Okay!" Lilo and Stitch happily tore the room apart.
"What did you do?" Wakka asked.
"All part of my plan. Yes. All part of my plan."
"Chappu..."
"All part of my plan!" Chappu said emphatically.
The door opened again. Another KillBot trundled into the guest quarters.
"I... Need... LOVE..." the KillBot screeched. Everyone screamed and ducked for cover.
Stitch suddenly howled and launched himself at the Kill-Bot. Chappu screamed and backed away from the machine. Stitch burrowed into the Bot's wires and ductwork, bending intricate networks and slithering through the tangle of insulation.
Everyone ran to get as far away from the rotating blades on the ends of the arms before they really started to get a-flailing.
Stitch exploded out of the chest-plate.
"YIIII!" he screeched. In one paw he held the motherboard. The Kill-Bot sparked and squealed horribly, the sound reverberated through the room.
And then the thing appeared to die, the limbs went limp. The only indication that there was any life left was the glowing LEDs on the "face".
Silence.
"Oh my god," Edward said, peeking over the couch. "We could've died..."
"ZZZZZZZzzzzz..." it suddenly tensed up, blades spinning, arms waving complicated patterns through the air. Everyone hugged together.
"I'm... A... Little... ... Steamed!" it screamed. It turned, cut through the door, out into the hallway, and headed for points unknown. The noise faded away, and everyone relaxed.
"Well done," Chappu said breathlessly to Stitch. Stitch dusted his paws and smiled. Chappu reached down to pat him, but Stitch took a swipe at him.
"Can we go now?" Lilo asked.
"To my ride!" Chappu announced.
"Ride?" Wakka asked. "What ride?"
"No more questions!" Chappu marched into the hallway.
"You're planning on stealing a car, aren't you?" Wakka stormed after his larcenous brother.
"Please," Chappu sniffed, "Give me some credit."
"A ship?"
"A spaceship?" Lilo guessed. There was something about the way Chappu hitched his step at Lilo's guess.
"A spaceship?" Wakka asked. "A spaceship?"
"Can we focus on the problem at hand?" Chappu said in an attempt to dodge the subject.
"A spaceship! You can't walk the... No. I'm not going to stand aside and watch you commit grand theft, er, spacecraft, or whatever. What would Dad say?"
"But we're on a space station," Chappu said. "How else are we gonna get home?"
"Outer space?" Wakka humphed.
"Outer space?" Lilo said.
"Nice try, now pull the other one," Wakka said. They stood in front of the elevator and waited for the doors to open.
"It's the only way to travel," Chappu said. He had a faraway look on his face and his trademark impish grin. "I'm gonna put a crew together and we'll travel the stars looking for treasure– like Cid Nefarious!"
"I'd like to be there when you try to run that plan past Mom!" Wakka snorted.
"I'll worry about that later," Chappu said, although Wakka knew that the little weasel had already thought five steps beyond getting past their mother. "Let's just get to the ship."
"You're unbelievable!" Wakka declared.
"Thank you. I am pretty amazing," Chappu buffed his fingernails on his shirt.
"We have to get help! Get the men together and kick these guys offa our island!"
"We're not on the island," Chappu reminded him. "I'd like to take us home the way we came– really, I'd like to, but it's not possible. I told you it'd be involved. We're in space. I don't understand it either, but I care more about getting home than figuring out how I got here. Do you all agree?"
Everyone except Wakka agreed.
"We can steal an old ship," Chappu continued. "Just slip out into one of their ships and fly down to Earth for help."
"Tch," Wakka said.
"Just trust me on this," Chappu said. He patted Wakka on the back. "You know I'd never let you down, bro. I took care of everything, you don't have to lose your mind."
Wakka rolled his eyes.
"Good. Now we have to hurry, we don't have a lot of time."
"Hold my hand, Lilo," Wakka said. Lilo grabbed his hand and took Stitch's paw in the other.
"Hey," Lilo said, "Where's Edward?"
"If you're gonna stay, you're gonna work," Frega told her the first night when he finally returned to his office.
This meant that Kairi had to sit at a smaller desk and do tedious intern work while handcuffed to the chair all day. Kairi decided that she never, never, never wanted a desk job of any type.
Ever.
Collate this, Kairi. Copy that, Kairi. Spell check these, Kairi.
It could always be worse, she reminded herself. This thought didn't make her any less annoyed.
And Frega kept saying that he wanted her father dead, just kept repeating it. Things like that tend to make a girl reconsider her affections.
"I'm hungry," she said timidly around lunchtime. Frega called to the in-station restaurant to order some food. In under ten minutes a kitchen worker arrived at his door with a bag of sandwiches and a box of field mice.
"What are these for?" Kairi looked into the box of lively mice. They were really cute with their inquisitive, wiggly noses. She reached in to pet one.
"Don't put your filthy paws on my lunch," Frega snatched the box from her hands and sniffed it.
Frega picked out a mouse and bit it in half. He loudly crunched through the other half and stuffed another mouse into his mouth.
"Ugh!" Kairi looked at him in disgust. And to think she had been scheming of ways to sneak a kiss from him.
"You want one?" he said through a full mouth. Horror of horrors! She could see a patch of white fur peeking out of his mouth while he talked! He hugged the box closer however, since he apparently had no intention of letting a human eat from his plate. A tail dangled from the corner of his mouth, he noticed it and slurped it down.
"I'm not hungry after all," Kairi put her sandwich back in the bag. She kept her concentration on her work while he ate noisily.
After a long workday, a suited man with a nasally voice entered the office.
"Sir, you need to come down to the Robotics department," he said. Frega put down his pen and looked evenly at the man. "The..." the man looked at Kairi and coughed. "The KillBots are malfunctioning, sir."
"Why does this require my personal attention?"
"Sir, they're attacking... not really attacking, so much as, well... They're malfunctioning, sir," the man said nervously.
Frega dropped his paperwork on the desk and got up with a sigh.
"I trust you'll specifically explain what's happening on the way to the Robotics Lab, Bob," Frega said.
"Yessir."
"You," Frega jabbed a finger at Kairi. She gamely made a face at him. "Keep working. And no funny business."
As soon as he left she tried to slip her hands out of the handcuffs– no luck there. She got up and dragged her clunky chair across the office towards his desk. Maybe there'd be something to pick the lock with– or even better, the key, in the drawers.
She nearly screamed when the door opened again. But instead of Frega walking in, as she expected, a short, thin man with graying blonde hair swaggered in between a couple of KillBots.
"Thanks, Baby," he said to them.
"I... Love... You..." they both said to him.
"I'll never forget you," he said to them and tenderly blew kisses to them. Kairi felt invisible and spectator to the aftermath of something very wrong.
"Call... Me..." the KillBots said as they rolled out the door. The man turned around and saw her standing there. His eyebrows went up and he threw out his arms.
"Wow! A new friend!"
He bounded across the office bowed to her.
"My name is Edward, Edward Muir. The fourth! But you can call me Baby, pussycat. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Are you a friend of Fry's?" he eyed the chair and the handcuffs and waggled his eyebrows.
What is this? she wondered how hard it would be to knock the man out.
"Er... hello?" she said.
"Let me help you with that," he offered. He picked up the chair and helped her drop it in front of Frega's massive desk.
"Thanks," she said uncertainly.
"No problem. Say babe, what's your name?"
"Kairi," she said.
"Nice name," he said. He just sat on the edge of the desk and smiled at her. And that was all, he just sat and smiled at her.
Toys in the attic, Kairi thought.
"O-kay," she said. Edward didn't seem interested in stopping her so she continued her search.
"You must be Wakka's girl," Edward said so suddenly that Kairi jumped.
"No, I'm not his– wait. You know Wakka?" she asked him.
"Know him? He was delicious!" Edward said.
"What..." Kairi stared at Edward in horror. Three days ago she would've taken this statement as a joke, but that was three days ago and this was now and coming from an obvious crazy guy. "Oh. My. God!" she squealed.
Poor Wakka– big, sweet, kinda simple Wakka.
Edward winked at her.
"What is this?" Wakka asked Chappu when they stumbled into a dimly lit room, larger than he could ever have imagined possible. "I bet you could fit the whole island– no, five Destiny Islands in here."
"Ship graveyard," Chappu said, "R&D dumps their rejects out here so they can pull spare parts off of 'em. Timing couldn't be more perfect. It's poorly guarded, and they just left a new model out here, so the engine and everything are still all together. Follow me."
They made their way over the catwalks quietly. The silence in the hangar was inviolable, scary in itself. The partially skeletized ships threw sharp shadows over them. The group twisted their heads this way and that trying to see all the different models.
Wakka still didn't feel right about leaving Kairi behind.
I'll come back, he swore to himself, Stay safe, Kairi.
He'd get her back and everything would go back to normal.
"Here she is! The Galaxy Starship Altoona," Chappu said proudly.
"Oooh," Stitch whistled appreciatively.
She was a garish little thing in bright yellow with splashes of black here and there, most of these black marks were obviously markings that the developers used to indicate sections of significance. The Altoona seemed to be in a perpetual lean, the angular protrusions and fins gave the impression that the ship's frame had slanted over due to poor workmanship. Several robotic arms hung limply from the belly, each tipped with some specialized tool. Four booster rockets stuck out at odd angles from the ship. Wakka guessed that this allowed the ship to hover if the pilot was skilled enough to try it.
All in all, it looked pretty frightening.
"Is this safe?" Wakka asked.
"She's not exactly easy on the eyes," a voice said, "but she's solid. With a little love, who knows?" a boy, roughly the same age as Wakka and dressed in the frilliest looking clothes outside of a costume shop, hopped from an open compartment and studied them.
"This is our pilot," Chappu said, "Zidane, this is my brother, Wakka, and two passengers, Lilo and Stitch."
"He's got a tail!" Lilo whispered to Wakka. Zidane leapt easily onto the catwalk and smiled at the little girl.
"Hello everyone, I'm Zidane Tribal. I have roughly three years piloting experience– mostly large airships– but I'm sufficient with starships. I'll be taking you to wherever it is you need to go."
"Are you also a former "guest?"" Wakka asked him
"No, but I've played one before," Zidane said. "You know– Man in the Iron Mask? No?"
"He's also one of the stage actors that the company employs to keep its station personnel from cannibalizing each other from sheer boredom," Chappu slapped Zidane on the back, "I saw him in the show– he's not bad."
"Not bad?" Zidane frowned.
"Oh," was all Wakka could think to say. So that's what bothered him about this guy, he was just like those theatre kids at school. Secretly, he was really afraid of them.
"We also have a mechanic, but he's busy with the engine right now and it's probably wise not to interrupt him if you plan to live very long." Zidane said, already perfectly at ease with everyone. "We should be able to get going in a few minutes, so everybody, all aboard!" He led the way up the ladder into the ship. Lilo, Stitch, and Chappu ambled up after him. Wakka hesitated. He'd never been on anything faster or high-tech than a barge.
I'm sorry, he apologized quietly to Kairi before he boarded the Altoona.
Zanarkand...
"Well, we made it in record time," the Mayor said again.
The cityscape loomed over the ship. Though the sun shone brightly and the autumn weather was unseasonably warm the shadows beneath the buildings were frigid and gloomy. Baralai loved to travel, but he hated cities; he hated Zanarkand most of all. During a visit he saw someone steal a prosthetic leg off a man– while he was still using it.
"Thank you, Baralai," the Mayor said to him, her eyes full of admiration and maybe a little wistful longing. "We'd never have made it this far without you..."
"Why, thank you, Myrna," he said.
"Yarr, and ye've shown us sea dogs what it is to be a real man! You're a hero! If it weren't for your superior fightin' skills we'd all be in the belly of any number of wicked creatures!" one of the pirates said. "Ain't that right, lads?"
"AYE!"
"Now kiss her!"
Baralai dipped the Mayor and planted one right on her lips.
"Aye!" The pirates cheered.
"Aye. 'Scuse me, Praetor," one of the buccaneers shook him out of his daydream. He blushed hard, as though his private thoughts were visible to everyone. "Sorry t' bug you, but the Captain requests your presence on the bridge."
It was their second day at sea on the St. Canard, a small freight ship that Captain Peekay loaned to Fujin for some mysterious reason. (Actually, both women maintained that Captain Peekay was very fond of Fujin's boys, but Baralai didn't believe for second that a pirate could be so sentimental.)
The atmosphere was surprisingly subdued on the ship, especially with the presence of a couple of women– alright, one of those women was Fujin, but still.
"You're all so, restful," Baralai commented for lack of a better word.
"Yar, Captain told us all t'behave or else," the buccaneer said as he led the Praetor to the pilot house.
"I appreciate how respectful you've all been towards the Mayor," he said.
"Gotta respect the Mayor. Or else."
"And me?"
"Captain didn't say. But the Gods be lookin' out fer ye, don't get much bigger than that. Sardine?" The man offered Baralai one from his pocket, but Baralai turned him down. So many things disagreed with his stomach.
Getting old sucked hard.
Vik wandered by, fishing pole in hand.
"Always said that it'd take an oblivious man t'take a likin' to the Captain," the buccaneer said quietly.
Baralai knew what he meant. Vik was an alright guy– upstanding and smart too, but also the most willfully ignorant man the Praetor ever met. How else could he explain a man who hated pirates "with the intensity of a thousand burning suns" courting and marrying one? Fujin ought to have left him at home, and Baralai told her so. She gave him a look that could peel paint.
"Love is weird," Baralai said.
Damn you Love, he thought– he couldn't help himself, Damn you to Hell!
"Ye know what else is weird?" the buccaneer asked. "Did ye see what the Mayor pulled outta the ocean this morning? Good eatin' but ye couldna paid me to eat when I first saw it."
A cry from the one of the crew saved Baralai from a graphic description of their breakfast. The crew leapt into action, prepared their weapons and cleared away their valuables. He ran to the pilot house.
"Drifting ship," the quartermaster said before he had a chance to ask. "Good thing you're here– could be haunted! And that's your department, isn't it?" The quartermaster glowered at him.
"No," Baralai said with as much disdain as he could, even if it made him sound like an immature, insufferable prick, because sometimes one had to lower oneself in order to be understood. Let the man work out his hangups with some long-suffering priest– he could beat people to death with his fists, he didn't have to take this.
The ship slowly inched towards the drifting ship.
"Well, Praetor," the quartermaster drawled after a lengthy wait to see if anyone from the other ship would make their presence known, "Would you care to have a look? Do a little dance or somethin' for the–" Fujin got up to put the mouthy quartermaster in his place.
"I think I will have a look," Baralai said. The man did have a point– the term "ghost ship" could be literal out on the open water.
As soon as the crew slid a plank between the two ships Baralai picked up his weapon, the double razor ring rod, or whatever the hell it was. He called his "Slash." That used to make him laugh.
His footsteps echoed on the silent deck of the ship. He headed for the pilot house first.
"Hey, you can't do this alone," Myrna followed him, "It's not safe." Baralai wished just one of those pirates had the decency to stop her. At least she knew enough to be as stealthy as possible.
Not a soul could be found on the deck or in the pilot house, they discovered, so they headed down for the cargo hold.
"Holy Macaroni," Myrna exclaimed when she saw it.
"A dragon's hoard," Baralai said. The hold was filled from end to end, knee deep in gold coins and jewelry. Some idiot pirates went and raided a dragon's den!
"We're not going to find anyone," Baralai told her, "this ship is cursed. I'm going to tell Fujin to sink it."
"What is that?" Myrna took a step back. "There. By the ladder."
Baralai saw something move in the shadows, and saw the glint of an eye.
Could these poor souls have had a pet? Or perhaps... He frowned.
"Come out of there," he said quietly. The eyes glinted again– large gold rings that shined from the reflected light.
Unbelievable, he thought. He reached in and grabbed the little creature, no bigger than a house cat, and held it up in the light.
"Hey, shh! It's okay," he said to the thrashing, squealing dragon. "There's no call for that. It's alright," he used his friendliest, non-threatening voice. It's lizard body was a striking shade of purple– flushed from stress; the gold wings flapped uselessly.
"Myrna, you want to give me something to feed him?" Baralai said over his shoulder.
"Ugh, we're not keeping reptile, Baralai– that's just unsanitary," she said.
"He's just a baby, Myrna. Dragons aren't animals, they're people. Once the little guy calms down he'll be sweet as a lamb. See, isn't that right?" he cooed at the dragon.
The little dragon sank his fangs into the skin on Baralai's arm. The bite itself didn't hurt much more than a scratch.
Maybe his fangs didn't puncture the skin, Baralai hoped.
Alas, his body felt all kinds of prickly as the venom began its work.
"Here," he handed the dragon to the Mayor. She took it with some misgivings, but it stopped trying to attack when it saw the chunk of fruitcake in her hand. The little dragon wolfed down the little bit of food and tried to burrow into the front of her dress.
"Hey! Cut that out! Baralai, help?"
"Please take me to the nearest hospital for treatment."
"But, Baralai–"
The world went StRaNgE...
To Be Continued
AN: I admit that I ripped off the bit about the prosthetic leg from Jon Stewart. He's always saying that New York City smells like urine and it's insane! He told that story one night. I'm not sure if it was a joke... :P