Chapter 2

Pensworth knew there was something brewing as soon as he stepped into the building. There was always a feeling in the air when a new mission was about to start. Tension, excitement, a hint of fear…it was all there. Everyone was on their game, primed for action. Pensworth hurried his steps…he might be needed.

Unfortunately the security gate in reception wouldn't open.

"Excuse me Sir, that gate is for members of staff only," said the friendly security guard.

He was a moustachioed American fellow, which Pensworth found to be very suspicious. M hadn't seemed concerned when Pensworth had raised it, although Pensworth had strong suspicions that the man was on the CIA payroll. How and why did anyone allow an American with a moustache to man the reception desk at the most secretive and secure buildings in all the world? Pensworth had made it his business to find out about this man. He knew he was called David and that he had grown up in Ohio. He knew he was married to a woman called Suzie, who was interested in arts and crafts and who enjoyed baking. David would often bring cupcakes to work. He knew David was a regular churchgoer. He knew David liked D.I.Y. Indeed, Pensworth had even gone for a drink with the man. And the worst thing of all was that David seemed to have early onset dementia.

Despite the fact that Pensworth had been working for MI6 for seven years, and despite the fact that David had seen him enter the building over a thousand times, and despite all their conversations about Suzie and the church and the D.I.Y. David seemed to forget who Pensworth was afresh every morning.

"I work here," said Pensworth.

"New starter?" asked David.

"No, it's Pensworth."

"What is?"

"Me is. I mean, I am. I'm Pensworth. We know each other."

"Do we? I'm struggling to place you."

"Look, I have a pass."

David took the pass and studied it closely. As he did, he waved a number of people through the gate whilst barely even looking at them. "Morning Sir." "Good morning Commander; hope your family is well." "Good morning MIss, go on through…can't forget that face!"

David looked very confused as he continued to consider the pass. "Strange," he said. Pensworth didn't know what was strange but he did know that the excitement he had felt when he stepped into the building was slowly seeping away, to be replaced by the fear that he might be missing out on all the action going on beyond the security gate.

After what seemed like an age, David handed back the pass, "okey dokey sir, must just be some problem with the pass. You should speak to I.T."

"I speak to I.T. every day."

"Should be sorted out tomorrow then. Goodbye Mr Pearlsworth."

David buzzed Pensworth through the gate and he took the stairs because he couldn't wait to get to his desk. There might be a crisis meeting in which Pensworth was needed and he didn't want to be passively waiting for the lift. M was probably stomping around shouting "dammit, where is Pensworth? We need him." But when he got to his desk he found the floorplate to be largely deserted.

There was a man waiting for him however. Pensworth groaned inside.

"Morning Jobsworth," said 002 as Pensworth arrived at his desk.

"It's Pensworth," said Pensworth, although under his breath.

002 was sitting on another desk, swinging his legs like an oversized child. Thankfully, it was Fenella's desk and not his own. 002 was often sitting on Pensworth's desk and getting 002 to move was quite difficult. 002 had no concern for where he placed his bottom; whether it was on an important document concerned with national security or on a stapler. And once he'd placed his bottom, it was quite difficult to dislodge.

"Excuse me, sir.." Pensworth would say. 002 would ignore him. "Excuse me sir, I'm afraid you're sitting on my desk." 002 would ignore him. "If you could possibly just slide a little to the left I should be able to turn my computer on."

"And how are you going to do that, Jobsworth? You've never turned anything on in your life. Am I right?"

The first time 002 had tried that joke, Pensworth had actually started to answer…before he realised there was a sexual connotation to the statement. 002 thought it was hilarious. Pensworth put it down to his public school education.

Pensworth thought 002 only spent so much time lounging on Pensworth's desks because he wanted to ask Fenella on a date. Fenella had the desk opposite him and was, if you were attracted by conventional wisdom, a knockout. 002 certainly thought so, judging by the number of visits he appeared in her general area during the day. He was very much the strutting peacock. Fenella didn't seem to be interested in peacocks…so far.

"Can I help you sir?" asked Pensworth.

"Yes, M needs you. He's in a crisis meeting."

"Goodness me," said Pensworth as he scrabbled around for a pen whilst his heart started to beat furiously in his chest. That adrenaline again. "Yes, yes, of course, I'll be right along."

002 jumped off the desk. "Great. He'd like a coffee with milk and no sugar. As soon as you can."