Caught in a Net
Phoebsfan
R-language
6/8/06
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, and make not a cent.
Summary: It wasn't supposed to be like this.
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It wasn't supposed to be like this.
The only thing that ran through his mind more often than that thought... Well he wasn't going to go there when there was no point.
Something had happened between the two of them. Jack and Kate. Kate and Jack. No, he didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to think about how she watched him, followed him like a fucking puppy dog. Caught in a net... Sure.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
He wasn't supposed to care. She was just supposed to be a distraction on this godforsaken island. Instead he finds himself doing stupid things and getting all turned around. Caught in a net. Yeah... right.
She scares him. It's something he won't ever admit to. But he remembers the last time he felt this way and how it ended. He won't hurt her like that. So when he thinks she feels like he does. When he feels her eyes on him instead of their fearless leader. He takes actions to ensure she runs away. He's always been good at self sabotage.
She deserves better. Though he can't see Jack as better. Jack would never go for a girl like her. It's only the island and the lack of anyone else that makes him think he would. Out there she'd never be good enough for him. He's too self righteous, too black and white. She's made up of gray, wonderfully risky, and entirely too unsteady to be made into some doctor's trophy wife. He could never take her home.
She only thinks she wants a good guy. She'd grow tired of it.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
He wasn't going to let anything happen to her. But then Michael comes along and it's time for Jack to play solider. For being such a 'follow the rules,' kind of guy... It's damn annoying that he didn't think to mention they'd been betrayed. Sure he wanted to help Michael as much as the next guy and hell wouldn't he love to shoot that bastard who put one in his shoulder and almost put one in her head. But now he's never gonna get that chance. Instead he's gonna stay locked in this room, six by six, a cot, a toilet, and an awful smell to keep him company.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
They better keep their hands to themselves, cause if they hurt her...
Well it wasn't supposed to be like this.
She tried not to think about the others. Tried not to wonder where they'd taken Jack and Sawyer. Tried not to wonder what they were doing to them and if she'd be next. Instead she focused on trying to find a way out and when that option had quickly been exhausted, she moved on to counting the spots on the ceiling.
She supposed it was only right that she'd end up in a cell. After everything she'd done it seemed fitting. Didn't mean she liked it though. She'd give anything for some company right about now. It had been two days since they pulled that sack over her head. Two days since she'd seen anyone else at all. Honestly she didn't even know if two days was an accurate estimate. She had no way of telling time other than the artificial light they shot in her room, like in the hatch. It bothered her that her cell came equipped with it's own "sun." The implications were something she didn't spend a lot of time dwelling on.
Something she did spend a lot of time dwelling on was Jack and how he'd failed to mention Michael's little deal. How he didn't seem to care what the rest of them thought. How he'd continued to piss them off even with a gun to her head. It would be okay to go to the line and look for Walt and Michael because they hadn't wanted her. Guess he'd been wrong. She'd bet he was more irritated by the fact that he was wrong than that he'd gotten the rest of them into this mess.
And yet she'd still been willing to follow him blindly. Still turned to him in the end.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
She was supposed to be able to like him. She was supposed to be able to talk to him. She wasn't supposed to feel sorry she kissed him. He was attractive. He was a doctor, he was good. So what if he was single minded to the point where it was dangerous to be around him sometimes. He was just doing the right thing.
But it didn't feel like the right thing sometimes. Sometimes nothing felt like the right thing.
Kissing Jack hadn't been nearly as exciting as she'd thought it would be. It felt wrong. And she supposed it was because she'd been trying to prove something to herself. Being caught in the net with him hadn't been so bad, well except for the net part. He didn't seem to want to touch her unless she was tangled in a net with him or upset.
Sawyer however, had eyes like hands. And he couldn't keep those off her.
No, it wasn't supposed to be like that.
But she'd catch his eye from across the fire late at night and she knew exactly what he wanted. He was comfortable and familiar but still capable of surprising her. And there was definitely something arousing in the way he flirted. Jack didn't really bother to flirt. But Sawyer...
He was predatory, insistent. And yet just when she was about to jump him, he'd turn her away. It was maddening at times.
She tried to convince herself she hated it. Hated the way he made her feel. And she did. She hated knowing that she was capable of feeling that way. Good people didn't want to do the same things to him she wanted to. They didn't feel like they'd explode if they didn't.
And yet he was gentle as well. He'd be the first there with open arms.
He seemed to always know exactly what she needed or wanted.
Jack was oblivious.
The more she thought about it the more angry it made her, because she knew if given a choice... if she could have one of them in there with her she'd choose Jack. He was safe.
She also knew it would be the wrong choice... wouldn't make her feel any better.
Her heart always wanted to choose him.
Caught in a net... Yeah.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.