Harry Potter and the wish of one night

Disclaimer: I own nothing, really.

Harry paced around the dorm room. This was… everything just ended up revolving around what Setsuna did. And it seemed like she was always one step ahead of everything. He almost wished… no, he was happy she was here. She had saved his life! But… she wouldn't have had to save his life if she hadn't come. And she wouldn't tell him anything! She was keeping secrets. They never used to keep secrets. She wasn't the same person, but then, could he really say that when he knew he wasn't the same person either? Why couldn't she just say everything? If only… no, there had to be a reason why she didn't tell people. Setsuna always did like to fend for herself, but cared more for others then herself at the same time. A lot like Harry himself. He'd let Setsuna explain in her own words in her own time.

Setsuna came barging into the room just as he came to this conclusion and he realized it would be far harder to then he had thought. He wanted to just pounce on her and get the information he wanted out of her.

"Oh….. That was so extremely funny!" Setsuna was talking to Fred and George who trailed in after her. "What you did… to… S-James… oh my… thank you… I needed that!" she said in between laughs. She made a show of wiping away an imaginary tear to end her praise to the twins.

"Why thank you, Setsuna. It was our pleasure. To see Minnie's face, we missed that face." said Fred.

"What?" snorted Ginny "the look of terror and evil she always gives you?"

"No, the look as she tries to keep a stern face but still laughs inside. We missed that." George said indignantly.

"Oh, yes. Of course. That look." Ginny snorted again. Harry felt a pang whenever he saw her. He knew he still very much liked her. But he had to protect her. And so they couldn't be anything more than friends. And even that made it dangerous.

"Lets get down to business." He said curtly, unable to restrain himself any longer.

"Right. What exactly do you wish to know?" and as soon as she asked that, he realized he didn't know exactly what he wanted to know. Just that he wanted to know things.

"How about why you were there?" reliable Hermione came to the rescue.

"I was talking to Dumbledore." She replied so casually it was almost as if she was mentioning the weather.

"And why were you talking to Dumbledore?" Ron cut into the conversation then.

Setsuna sighed as she answered, "I guess I can't hide it anymore. I had a feeling that Dumbledore was still alive, so I went to ask him if this was true. And it is. He's alive."

She still had the casualness of discussing the weather but behind that, her voice was serious. Harry tried to gauge the reactions before he even tried to figure out his own. Hermione and Ron were shocked, while Ginny looked as if she was mad at herself, like she should have guessed likewise, Fred and George didn't look shocked at all and suddenly he wondered if that word he had thought he had heard had anything to do with it.

Then, only after he had gauged everyone else's reaction did he look at his own feelings.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner? I swear! I actually told you my story and everything! If you even thought for one second that he was alive why didn't you SAY so? I thought it was my fault that he was dead… that I hadn't done everything I could have… and you let me believe that. Ever since you came back its been nothing but secrets. NOTHING!

"You wont tell me where you've been or what your doing. You wont tell me what you did. You wont tell me your story when I told you mine. You wont tell me your animagi forms you wont tell me anything. And you didn't tell me He was alive. I suspect that you wouldn't have told me Sirius was alive either if he hadn't gone and kidnapped me!" His rant over, he immediately regretted some of the stuff he said. He realized that he had taken a lot of little things and drawn them out into much bigger proportions.

Setsuna just stared at him, looking hurt, and older than time itself for one instant before she composed herself. However, her remarks still held the hurt, betrayal and anger she felt.

"I didn't want to get your hopes up!" she snapped.

The table she was leaning on shaking uncontrollably beneath her. And he quite felt it wasn't because she was shaking. " And you did do everything you could, Harry!

"But I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry you feel you have the right to know things that I choose to keep hidden. I'm sorry you feel that I'm just hiding the stuff for the fun of it, not because I want to protect you.

"Do you think that if I could I wouldn't tell you in a heartbeat? Do you know I look at you and I see someone totally changed from the boy I used to know? And although it is different its not necessarily bad, what you've become. You fight for the light and are firm in your beliefs in right and wrong. You stick up for people and try to help them. And maybe I want you to stay that way a little bit longer before you lose your innocence. Before you change even more from the boy I used to know. But I guess you're ready to lose what innocence you have, right?"

Her words stung like nothing he'd ever felt. He… how was he supposed to know? But he knew. He knew she was right. The way she had said things, talked about things, gone about things. It was in every action she made, every word she said. She had even said she needed to come to terms with things before she could tell him. But all this seemed only to make him madder, he didn't know why, and he just spit more words out, still forever, not thinking.

"I don't need your protection. Not when I lost my innocence a long time ago. I don't know what you mean by my innocence. It went down the drain when I was old enough to understand what the Dursleys were. So don't go trying to protect something that's been gone for far too long."

As the words came out, they didn't sound too bad, until the biting and scathing tone he put to it made it sound extremely horrid. Setsuna smiled a grim smile, the table still shaking but not as visibly, before she answered back to his bitter remarks.

"Harry, I know you think that you've lost any innocence you once may have possessed but you're wrong. I can still see it there, burning in you. Its been dampened, but its there. And I don't ever want to see that innocence taper out completely like it has in me. How ever, I don't see a way out of the situation with your innocence still intact, with ANYONES innocence still intact. Is it really so wrong to try to keep you like that for a bit longer?"

Her tone softened toward the end but it was still biting, daring him to retort back at this plain fact. At least in her eyes.

"So, being beaten by the Dursleys isn't losing my innocence? Knowing I have the weight of the world on my shoulders isn't losing my innocence? Knowing I have to kill or be killed isn't losing my innocence? Tell me then, you've got my curiosity, what is losing my innocence?"

Her eyes spoke millions of different things, the most prominent being she wished he hadn't asked that. But he held his head high and dared her with his eyes to tell him.

She started, and her tone was so bitter, so biting it made him flinch. "When you feel someone's life blood running through your fingers. When you know that the people who are dieing next to you, your friends, can't help you. But even worse you can't help them. You can only watch, as their eyes grow lifeless. The breath eases from them slowly and painfully. When you feel hate coursing through your body, and all you can do is lash out and kill. Kill the people who killed a part of you, and you know you'll never get it back. When you see the same lifeless eyes that you saw on your friends dieing face that you see on the body of your opponent now. When you realize that revenge isn't sweet at all. Because, in the end you're still left with dead friends and angry people. Resentful people. Even though they once thought you their savior. They hate you now, because you killed each and every one of them. Not just the enemy but your friends too. When you feel theres absolutely no hope, nothing good, that's worth fighting for, and you question what little sanity you have left; you question what little hope you have left."

She walked out of the room before anyone could say anything else. Immediately, Ginny, Fred and George left, following her. Ron and Hermione stayed with him, his closest friends. That's when he said the words he should have said right off the bat.

"I'm sorry."

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wut do you think? I believe its SLIGHTLY different then what I was going for but still… works. Tell me, did you expect it? once again, sry it took so long. If only you knew my schedual. I am going to try so much harder to fit stuff like this in. it really helps me unwind and I think you guys enjoy it too. At least I hope.

Amara159