Eelie: Hmm…hello all you peoples. Lee is having technical difficulties—
Nikki-chan: She's in Vegas, you fool.
Eelie: Riiiggggghhhhhttt…anyways, Nikki and I will be helping with the updating. All review replies go in the next chapter. Lee has done some of this, but most of it is purely a result of our madness.
Nikki-chan: Your madness. I, on the other hand, am perfectly sane…look down there—I can see a duck in the pond. It's screaming.
Eelie: As Nikki wanders off to check to the ducks, Lee told (read: made me swear lest I die a gruesome death) me to say this. THIS CHAPTER IS FOR SAM. And if you're her new bestest pally, I beg of you, don't accept any invitations to Banna Spilt Smundaes. It was the scariest experience of my entire life.
Nikki-chan: Back. And she says all reviews will be answered in the next chapter. Which she may be here to do, maybe not. But address all review replies to her. Or us.
Eelie: Too bad we're published authors, eh? We could probably still be here…and now we have to share an account with a friend who holds Banna Spilt Smundae Parties.
Nikki-chan: (glomps Eelie on the head with a Harry Potter book) Shut up and start typing! We need to finish this so we can go outside and tan! I AM PALE LIKE THE SNOW!
Eelie: Right, well that's all we have to say. We're on with the fic now, and hopefully, you enjoy it so that Lee doesn't get mad at us and holds a Dieing A Groosum Dethh Party. Au revoir!
Nikki-chan: I'd say bye in German but I can't spell it, so Sayonara!
Disclaimer: Oh, Jesu Christe, are we still doing this? Nein, I own nothing.
the real reason why beauxbatons is better than hogwarts
issalee
Ginny kicked absently at a pebble as she, Tessa, Luna, Hermione and Gabrielle made their way down the rocky streets of Rie Monsieur, the French village they were visiting. All around them was a variety of shops, even more then in Hogsmeade.
Ginny smiled as Tessa drooled over a book in a store that seemed to be dedicated entirely to Defense Against the Dark Arts. The place was awesome, and lucky for Ginny, she had been given a total of one hundred Galleons to spend for the whole of the school year. (She was starting to wonder how she had EVER lived before her dad got promoted.)
"Tessa, move your arse away! We're going the other way!" Ginny dragged her friend, who seemed to be glued to the window away and continued down the road. Gabrielle looked over at Tessa, eyes shining in delight.
"Tu aime a? C'est tres interesante." She looked over to Ginny, Hermione and Luna and clarified. "You like this? Eet eez v. interesting. But I am taking you to ze Eiffel, a v. beautiful place. I 'ave enjoyed many a visit there."
"What do they sell?" Hermione asked, tearing her eyes away from a shop window filled with large, dusty texts. Gabrielle smiled.
"Everything! But today, we are going swimming, and eet was a last minute thing, so we 'ave to get you swimsuits."
"Swimming?" Luna said quietly. "I didn't see a pool…shall we swim in the air like the Dracknas?" Gabrielle seemed to have taken to Luna, and shook her head seriously.
"Luna, the Dracknas only comes out at night." Luna beamed, and the French girl continued. "We 'ave a certain way of traveling, like a portkey. Everyone eez to find swimming essentials, and zen we shall go to a nice beach in la belle Italia."
"Italy?" Hermione seemed dazzled. "Oh my." Ginny caught something in the corner of her eye, and ran ahead. She turned the corner quickly, and gasped.
What seemed to be a smaller version of the Eiffel Tower, but no less magnificent towered over them. Most of it was made of glass, but it shimmered with magic. An Unbreakable Spell, Ginny reasoned. Inside, she could see shelves upon shelves of clothes and shoes and bags and toys and books and—
"Impressive, eez eet not?" Gabrielle appeared at her side, face shining. "Zere are also restaurants in zere, and ze food is exquisite. But today, we shop for ze clothes! Five floors full!"
Ginny glanced over at Tessa and found her best friend to be blinking repeatedly. "Is it all a dream?" The dark-haired beauty asked. Hermione surprised them by walking briskly inside, calling over her shoulder, "If it is, I'd like to enjoy it before I wake up!"
Inside, Ginny waved hello to Ron, who hid something behind his back and blushed. Ginny sidled up to him.
"Something for Herm-own-ninny, Ronnie-kins?" He growled at her, but clutched whatever it was even further behind him. Laughing gaily, Ginny skipped off to the stairs, where those in her group had already started climbing.
Draco scowled. "Chang must die."
Blaise rolled his eyes. "You've been saying that for ages, mate. Carina's gotten so tired of your moaning, she left to go find Creevey." His face contorted in disgust. "For God's sake, CREEVEY!"
Draco managed to smirk at that. "I think she was more tired of the fact that you kept telling her to go and get with some nice, sneaky Slytherin that will cheat on her so she can do the same."
Blaise blushed. "Er…I was trying to make it subtle…but she can't get with Creevey! I know I'm supposed to be a corrupted Slytherin who doesn't mind Gryffindors and Mudbloods and the like, but for Merlin's sake, not Creevey!"
Draco walked faster. "Yeah, well this means you've got him as a brother. The more you hate him, the more he'll cling. Come on, you're slowing me down."
"Where are we going anyway?" Blaise trotted to keep up.
"I heard from one of the Beauxbatons girls that we're going swimming, and that everyone's in town now to buy swimming things." The blond explained. "And there is no way I'm buying trunks at a second hand shop. We're going in there." He pointed to the huge building.
Blaise looked up, momentarily awed. Then a smile appeared on his face. "Hey, I can see Tessa and Ginny from down here!"
"Really?" Draco didn't bother looking. "Then let's go in, so you can speak to your girlfriend, and so I can find my clothes."
Blaise followed. "I wonder what they're doing?"
"No. Absobloodylutely not." Ginny crossed her arms and pushed away the article of clothing Hermione had showed her.
"But Ginny, we're all in agreement! THIS is the suit for you!" The brown-haired girl said with an amused grin. Ginny shook her head.
"That's not a swimsuit! That's two pieces of tissue and not much else!"
"Here, then." Tessa dumped a pile of swimsuits in Ginny's arms. "Look at all of these two and pick the best. We'll do the same for each one of us. Don't come out until we call your stall number!"
Ginny looked over the clothes as she headed for the stall that served as the dressing room. "They're all green." She was trying to hide the fact that indeed, the one swimsuit she'd rather not wear was the one she preferred most.
"It looks good on you." Luna said, sifting through a pile of brooches. She picked up one that said, "Someone who loves me went to Pursell and only brought me back this stupid brooch and a Snoople." She wondered how they fit all the words on there.
Grumbling sourly, Ginny locked herself into the room. Tessa immediately handed Hermione a pile of brown suits. "Your color. Get in." Flustered, the older girl followed.
Grinning, Tessa and Gabrielle dragged Luna away from the brooches and stuffed her in a stall with several dark blue pieces, then settled down to watch.
"Hey." Tessa looked back to see Harry and Ron making their way towards them. Ron had a little bag with him, as did Harry.
"Who're you waiting for?" Ron asked curiously, taking a chair from the wall to sit down next to him. Harry followed suit. Tessa smiled.
"You'll see. Door Number…Three! Come out please!" The door on the far right opened, and Hermione stepped out, hair tied back. (She had, over the years, gotten the bushy factor down sufficiently, so that it stayed slicked back but went frizzy in the heat.)
Her suit was a light brown two-piece, normal save for the strings that seemed to be the only thing keeping the top portion together.
"I don't know…" she said. "It's ok, but the color is—" She stopped, aghast as she saw Ron and Harry, both of whom were hiding their eyes with their hands.
"Go on, 'Ermine-nee," Gabrielle said. "Eet eez simply your boyfriend and your best friend. I am sure zey 'ave no reason to tell anyone anything zey see 'ere today."
Hermione blushed and muttered something before rushing back in. A moment later she emerged, fully clothed. "I've picked, no thanks to you," she hissed. The two younger girls smiled back disarmingly.
"Door Number One!" Gabrielle called. "'Ave you picked your snazzy little number?" The lock clicked and Luna stepped out, in a one-piece, light blue in color. Harry's breath caught. There was a large split, like an oval in the middle, and connecting strands from the fabric formed a criss-crossing pattern across her navel.
Luna did not seem fazed to see Harry. Rather, she spun a little. "I like it. So light—this is the one I'm taking." Smiling dreamily, she walked (or rather, floated) back into the stall and changed quickly.
"Well, well. What do we have here?" A voice drawled, just as she came out of the stall. Luna blinked steadily.
"Hello, Draco." Harry and Ron jumped and turned, eyes narrowed. Blaise was absent (Draco had left him to find something for Tessa, mumbling sourly). Draco ignored them and walked over to the swim trunks. He looked up for a moment, eyes glittering with mischief.
"Hello, Luna. I saw your show this morning. Very well put." Everyone looked back and forth between the two, seemingly surprised that they could get along, even if for a moment. Luna blushed slightly.
"You're awful, Draco." Harry suddenly seemed to realize that this was his girlfriend, and made a threatening gesture to Draco, who shrugged.
"Calm down, Potter. I've known Loony here since she was six. Who d'you think gave her the nickname? Too bad all of Hogwarts decided I was making a joke of her and took it that way."
Harry, shocked, didn't say anything. But Luna slipped forward and linked arms with him, shaking her head in amusement. "Boys are like Morgles. They fight for their mates, even after it's obvious who's won."
Tessa rolled her eyes, and turned back to the doors. "Last person! Step out, chop-chop!" A small, barely discernable voice came out.
"I am not."
"Ginny?" Ron raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?" There was a groan, followed by a rustle of fabric.
"Now he's here! I'm not coming out, Tessa. I was right! This is just tissue!" Sighing and acting very much like a drama queen, Tessa pulled out her wand.
"Alohomora," she whispered. The lock clicked, and it was followed by a shriek. "DON'T DO THAT!" Gabrielle, catching on, took her own slim wand from her pocket and muttered an enhancement of the summoning spell.
"ARGH! LET GO OF ME!" Ginny's voice could be heard very clearly, as was the sound of her scrabbling at the walls. The door flew open suddenly, and a blur flew towards them. Gabrielle, in panic, flicked her wand, causing Ginny to swerve sharply. With a scream, Ginny turned sharply to the right and crashed into the closest person.
Blowing hair out of her eyes, Ginny looked down into the cool gray eyes. "Hi. Whatcha doin'?" Draco growled at her.
"Get off me, Weasley." She shook her head, and leaning down so that her mouth was right next to his ear (which sent shivers all down his spine) blew softly. Draco had to concentrate very hard to stop his eyes crossing.
"I have absolutely no intention of getting off you until you give me something worth it." She smiled wickedly, and Draco (in what he decided later was a moment of incredible stupidity) brought a hand up and pulled her head down.
Their lips crashed together with startling force, and Ginny struggled not to lose her head (or her virginity) as Draco's tongue teased past her lips. Just as she lost all hope of ever getting her lips back again—although she didn't mind as much as she probably should—footsteps could be heard. Draco pushed her off, quickly, and she cast a simple spell over her face and his to take away from the Damn-I've-Been-Snogged-Thoroughly look.
Harry peered over the racks. "Gin, are you ok?" She brought up a finger and waved it at him, slightly intoxicated from the kiss. "Um—er—hold up a second, Harry." She scrambled under a clothing rack and took deep, calming breaths. She then proceeded to give Harry a thumbs-up sign and rush away.
Harry stared for a moment, before looking back down at Draco, who had a somewhat dreamy look on his face as he stared at the spot Ginny had just vacated. Smirking slightly, Harry leaned over the racks.
"She had better not be just another piece of arse to you, Malfoy."
"But she's a nice piece of arse…"
Snorting lightly, Harry turned around and walked away. What a long, long school year this would be.
"Ah…Tessa? How come we drive on parkways and park on driveways?"
The dark-haired girl blinked, and turned to her friend. "Where the hell did that come from? And what is a parkway?"
Ginny sighed. "Never mind." She turned instead, to Hermione, Ron and Harry. "If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, does that count as a hostage situation?"
"Er…"
"What?"
"…We don't have to answer, do we?"
Ginny had to stifle a laugh at their faces. "Sorry, but I was just thinking." They were walking to the point where they would take some sort of transportation to get to Italy. Ginny had been bored for the better part of the walk, and had decided to ask people random questions and such.
She skipped ahead to Lavender Brown and Parvati and Padma Patil. "Hi. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?" They gave her unreadable looks, and shrugging, she walked over to Susan Bones.
"Hi, Susan. Tell me, if a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?" Susan smiled a little but edged away, looking about nervously. Ginny gave her a dazzling smile and moved over to Neville, who had the Beauxbatons girl clinging to his arm.
"Neville, if you spin an Oriental man three times in a circle, does he become disoriented?" The Gryffindor looked alarmed.
"Er…I really don't know. Is this a test? Professor Snape isn't around here, is he?"
Ginny rolled her eyes and skipped away. She spotted Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas walking at the front of the line, and hurried to catch up with them.
"Oi! Seamus!" The Irish boy turned and offered her a wink. "Seamus, if a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?" Dean seemed baffled, but Seamus smiled.
"Of course! Here, Ginny, you know the drink 7-Up? Well, what happened to the first six 'ups'?" Ginny grinned back.
"Why, they couldn't stand the pressure of course. They were put into the freezer and got cold feet at the last second. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?"
Seamus shivered. "Disturbing…ah, here's one. Why are they called buildings if they're already done? What should they be called?"
"Builts." Ginny answered promptly. "If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?"
"Cookies shaped to look like humans, of course." Seamus said impishly. By now, almost everyone had stopped walking to listen to their banter. Ginny thought for a moment, then grinned.
"Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?" The Irish boy pulled a hurt look.
"Takes one to know one, Gin. Who's idea was it to put an 's' in the word lisp?"
"Mine. I just decided I could be that mean." Ginny started walking again, as did Seamus and the crowd. She thought for a moment, then said, "If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with 'Quit while you're ahead'?"
"Ah, I believe that could have been our dear Ronnie-kins." Seamus dodged Ron's hand, which had come up to hit him from behind. "But here, Gin, if it's true that we're here to help others, than what are the others here for?"
Ginny hesitated. Somehow, everyone seemed to sense that she was at a loss, and everyone was suddenly watching her. Draco, who had been following the whole thing with great interest, caught her eye and offered a smirk. Ginny's eyes widened, and she looked back to Seamus.
"To shag, of course." He blinked, and then started laughing, followed closely by several other people.
"Oh—Gin, you got me there. I concede defeat. But if I am to lose for real, you must offer up another one of these pretty things. Got anything?"
Ginny nodded. "Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?" She winked at Draco as everyone started laughing, and started up walking again. She really had to do this more often…
"'Ere we are!" The blond, longhaired and lithe-bodied professor they had been following stopped suddenly by a willow tree. "Zis eez our transportation spot. Everyone, line up in partners of two and go through!"
The Beauxbatons students went first, vanishing through the tree as the Hogwarts students would through Platform Nine and Three Quarters. The first Hogwarts students were, predictably Harry and Luna. When it came time to be her turn, Ginny hesitated a moment, before she and Tessa stepped through.
There was a rush of air and a pounding noise in her ears. She and Tessa clung to each other, until they were rudely spit out on the other side and tumbled into the grass. They extricated their limbs from each other just as Ron and Hermione came through.
When Ginny stood up, she was momentarily waylaid by the scenery. A beautiful, clear blue sky and beaming sun was above them. Behind them was a small town, with people going back and forth in wizarding robes.
The sand at her feet was a beautiful pale white, and seemed to glitter in the sun. The water just ahead was blue-green, and the waves lapped gently against the shore, which was almost empty even though it was unbearably hot. Ginny smiled and slipped out of her sandals, grabbing Tessa's hand as she did so.
"We shall sing Rock Lobster and TAN!" she said. Tessa shook her head, looking fearful. "Are you mad? Rock Lobster is an awful song! We must sing Bohemian Rhapsody!"
Shaking her head, Ginny plunked down on a random spot on the beach, dragging her friend down with her. She could see couples and friends doing the same around her. "Shall we tan first, or swim?"
Something smacked her in her head, and she ripped it off. It was the t-shirt Tessa had been wearing, and it revealed the crimson two-piece bikini she was wearing underneath. The dark-haired girl tied her locks in a ponytail with a rubber band. "We shall swim, of course!"
Reluctantly, Ginny removed her t-shirt, but left her shorts on. Tessa grinned. "I see you decided to go with the tissue paper after all."
The suit was a two-piece, but the top and bottom seemed to be made of silk and was a forest green color. The top had no straps, it just wrapped around Ginny's—bosom and ended in a long ribbon in the back. (A/N: As you can see, Lee is obsessed with ribbons. It isn't healthy, really.) The bottoms were shorts, but made of the same material.
Ginny sighed. "I'm not going in, then. This fabric looks so delicate, I'm sure when I step in the water it'll become soggy and rip apart!" She slipped an overlarge pair of sunglasses on her face and conjured up a towel underneath her, then lay down. "I think I'm tanning."
Tessa put her hands on her hips, smirking maliciously. "Do so before me, and I may be forced to paste those pictures of you at the New Year's Party last year." Ginny shot up like a rocket.
"You wouldn't."
"I so would."
"Argh," Ginny grumbled as she got up. "I don't know why we're friends, I swear!" As Tessa led her to the water, she smiled sweetly. "It's because someone had to be crazier than you, and the best they could do was me. Now, get in!"
Ginny stumbled towards the water and poked at the surface with a toe, then withdrew it quickly. "That's freezing! I'm not going in there!" Apparently, no one shared her sentiments, as students were plowing into the water with absolute disregard for her plight.
As she glared at them, someone tapped Ginny on her shoulder. She turned, and found a boy with curly black hair smiling at her. He was stunning, to say the least, and he held out a rose to her.
"For the bella principessa," He said. "She who is without a flaw." Shocked, Ginny took the flower and mumbled a thank-you. Tessa nudged her from behind, grinning like mad.
"I don't like him. He seems too self-assured."
Ginny snorted mentally at Gwinn's comment. 'Like Malfoy isn't, and you approved of him.' The boy suddenly dropped to his knees and clasped his hands with her own.
"Bella, will you give me the honor of being my girlfriend?" Tessa gasped audibly, and Ginny suddenly felt quite frozen. The boy was cute, sure enough, but she didn't even know him! He could be a mass murderer, for Merlin's sake. But if he wasn't, she wasn't about to break his heart and turn him into one. Ginny was just losing all hope of ever getting her hand back when a voice interrupted.
"Sorry, but she's my girlfriend."
Eelie: Oh, come on. She made the ending so predictable.
Nikki-chan: Don't be so self-assured. I made her promise me that the at the end of this chappie, Draco would SOOOO not come to rescue her. I wanted Ginny/Blaise. Hmph.
Eelie: You want everything you know you can't get! So shh...we've got to leave this chappie and hope for the best...if we screwed up, Lee'll be mad, and I don't wanna die an early death...so send her reviews, people! REVIEWS KEEP ME ALIVE!
Nikki-chan: (Hums to herself as she secures spot in Africa for around the same time Lee comes back)