The World Of Destiny Island
A/N: Kingdom Hearts is the property of Square-Enix blah, blah blah...
Give Me Novacaine is by and copyright Green Day, from their album American Idiot.
Give Me Novacaine
"And now that you have officially taken the sacred onion of office and received the Elvaan Fire you are officially a black mage apprentice," Frega said as they left the calling stone. "Well done. Here's your first text book."
"Wow," she said and then spat again. She was still trying to get the taste of vanilla with a habanero pepper aftertaste out of her mouth. Kairi took the thin book and opened it to the title page.
"Welcome to the exciting world of Black Magic! This volume has been printed on recycled paper.
"Congratulations! If you have been allowed to read this then you have successfully been inducted into an exclusive occupation unscathed. Although the Black Wizard's Council does not condone the 'quick and easy' methods the reader has evidently chosen we respect your right to endanger your own immortal soul and would like to take this opportunity to inform you that the BWC bears no responsibility for damages incurred upon the person, property and the persons of the user's loved ones."
"Hey!"
"What? Don't give me that look," Frega said. "The Council's warnings are always way over the top if you ask me."
"Before we begin you should note the following: WARNING!
"Beginning spell casters are notoriously bad marksmen. While you adjust to your new ability here are some guidelines:
"1. Do not stand near flammable materials. Try to avoid gas stations, and if possible, give up using mass transportation for the time being, especially airship travel!
"2. Avoid large populations.
"3. Do not handle valued possessions. Especially electronics, the Black Wizards Council will not accept any responsibility on the part of the students if they damage or destroy personal or public property.
"4. Museums.
"6. Forests– please for the love of all the gods, both evil and benign, stay out of the forests!
"Wow. This would've been nice to know a day ago."
"Yeah," Frega sighed. "Well, let's get the fun started!"
Fun. Yeah right.
After a week of hard work she hadn't produced a true fire this time either. Her master was losing patience. He claimed that even the worst students got this spell after a couple of hours. Today he tried to motivate her by making her target the evening's campfire. The sooner Kairi lit the fire, the sooner they'd eat. Hopefully it'd work, because she didn't look like she had that much flesh to spare.
"What are you doing now? We don't have time for you to play with toys!" Frega huffed.
"I'm trying to relax," she snapped at him as she tightened a bolt with the mini-ratchet. The Legot Sphere Ifrit had laughingly given her to keep her from flipping out and killing Frega. Not that she'd ever succeed in that anyway.
Legot Spheres were a new product on the Dwarf toy market; they were puzzle games roughly the size of a bowling ball. They came with a set of tools to use on the various nuts and bolts. The purpose was to test your natural engineering instinct and solve the puzzle without resorting to Cheat Instructions. She'd already loosened all of the bolts that kept the outside shell together and had gotten to the second layer and the extra pieces that were contained within. If she could get to the center and reassemble the pieces of the puzzle correctly then she'd get a prize from the Legot Company.
"I can't think when you're yelling at me anyway. You're making me nervous," she snarled at him. He knocked her off her feet with a smooth punch that would leave a sizable bruise.
"Insolent, gutless brat," he muttered. He shoved his hat onto his head and whirled away. "I'm going to look for some roots. Work on that fire while I'm gone, and remember, use the right verb tense or you're wasting your breath."
"Jerk!" she sniffled and rubbed at her eyes. At least she could calm down without Frega looking over her shoulder. Elvish was devilishly hard to master.
I'm just not mage material. I can't do anything useful. She wished for the millionth time that none of this had happened and put the Legot Sphere away.
In the past week she discovered that living off the land was not as easy as the people on tv made it look. She couldn't cook half so well as Mom (especially without the aid of a fire,) but she did recall a great number of cooking principles and recipes. That was nice, and it probably saved them both from death by food poisoning.
The hard part was getting used to being filthy. She got a chance to bathe and wash her clothes once, in a stream. No hair care products, no deodorant. Frega insisted that she no longer smelled like a bad perfume factory exploded, but she didn't feel clean. And no matter how often she scraped under her nails she always had some dirt under them. He caught her picking at them and ordered her to trim them down to a respectable length. The insects were problematic too, but at least they could do something about that.
"This will keep the bloodsuckers away," Frega gave her a small pouch that smelled pretty nice. "Now stop whining. You're making good progress." He lied, but it worked. She thrilled at the praise, and felt ashamed of herself for doing so. It amazed her how well they got along after the theft incident. In better circumstances, they could've been friends– for real friends.
Until they got to the business of magic– god, he was impossible! Magic was impossible! Maybe that's why Dad never encouraged her to become a white mage– maybe he recognized that she had no talent. And white mages spent at least five years in study before they learned the basic cure spell. Healers had to learn things like anatomy and biochemistry and loads of other things before they were allowed to screw around with living bodies. Black magic was supposed to be the easy discipline! Black mages didn't have to worry about putting organs back together or keeping people alive.
Kairi slowly ran through the fire spell again, and tried with all her might to focus her will on the target. Nothing happened.
She sat down and stared at the pile of kindling.
"Burn, dammit!" she hissed. She even stood up and struck a dramatic pose, one arm stretched towards the fire pit. "I command you!" she stagily spat out the magic incantation.
The kindling lay there... not burning. Dammit!
Frega came back an hour later. He looked a little droopy, almost remorseful.
"Would you like a nice, tasty rat-cicle?" Frega asked quietly. She got the feeling this was as close to an apology she was going to get. He held up the poor frozen rat by the tail. Kairi shook her head.
"No, thank you, but I could really go for some hot dogs." She tried to convince herself that the rat didn't look at all appetizing. Nope, not one bit.
"Yech! You're better off eating raw rat," Frega stuck out his tongue. "I found some mushrooms too."
"Mushrooms could be good," Kairi smiled and took the proffered fungi, a collection of beautiful red and white specimen with caps the size of her palm.
"Mmm, smurf stew," Frega licked his chops, and Kairi wondered what a "smurf" was, but decided she was probably better off not knowing. As long as they weren't poisonous, she'd eat them.
Since they had fresh mushrooms Frega wasn't about to let them go to waste, he lit the fire himself and they both had a hot meal that night. Afterwards he had her braiding rope, of all the stupid things, while he climbed the trees to look for some birds to eat.
The dark forest creeped her out, she got as close to the fire as she could without catching her little bit of rope on fire.
"What's next? Am I gonna have to build a tent?" she muttered to herself. "Although, a tent would be nice." She could hear the other nocturnal animals climbing through the trees above her, and she pulled her hat further down over her head. "Maybe I'll have to shave the lightning god's tongue– ooh! Or clip a Titan's toenails..."
Frega dropped out of the tree.
"Put the fire out. I found an inn," he said.
The Inn on the Outs was a solitary, slumping, rustic cabin in the middle of the forest. Too far from any town to be visited by humans, it catered to a different sort of crowd. The wide variety of life forms in the pub made her feel a little nervous. They walked up to the bar and she perched on the too-narrow barstool. The barkeep, a feline-looking fellow with a milky eye, nodded and reached under the bar and put a couple of mugs on the bar.
"Wine?" he rumbled.
"Moscotto for my apprentice," Frega nodded to Kairi. "I'll take whatever Chardonnay you've got."
"Not this again," Kairi said as the barkeep emptied the bottle into her mug.
"It's good for you," Frega said.
"No it isn't! Dad says–"
"Be a good little elf," Frega kicked her shin. "And take your medicine. Nurse it," he hissed in her ear. Kairi took a cautious sip of her wine rather than argue.
The Inn door was flung open and nine tall strangers in black cowls glided into the Inn. She could swear they brought along a choir. Everyone in the bar looked around for the source of the wailing dirge. The temperature dipped dramatically, and Kairi's skin prickled as they passed the bar and headed for a marked table in the corner of the pub. Eight of the strangers sat down and laid their swords against the table. One pulled out a deck of cards and shuffled.
"Ah, now that's what I need! A round of poker," Frega hopped down. "Stay here and be a good elf, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Kairi grumped, "Elf good, humie bad."
"Damn straight," he said. He went over to the table and joined the poker game.
The next two hours passed very slowly. She drank her wine, started a second mug, and worked on her rope. The patrons ignored her for the most part, until the nice ringwraith fellow at the end of the bar sent her a bottle of beer and she invited him to join her.
"H'lo," she said shyly.
"Hey," the wraith said.
He turned out to be very pleasant, his name was Mervin, and he used to be a king or something before his career change to undead-sin-against-nature.
"It's not a bad life, really," Mervin said. "Company pays for transportation and I get a access to all the best vacation spots. Last year I went to Eriador, it was nice, but I wouldn't want to live there. Too much of a tourist trap if you ask me."
"I hear ya," Kairi said. She was getting a little tipsy, as this was her the end of her second mug (bottle) of Moscotto. "I grew up in a... teeny little place, and believe me, with all the pi– er, tourists coming and going– hic– felt like I lived in a carnival or something. My boyfriend... my boyfriend and I were gonna run away."
"Boyfriend?'
"Oh, it didn't work out," she slurred. "I remember exactly wha' happened..." She stuttered out a random retelling of the entire Mouse King debacle. "And then he ditched me… rotten bastard. Men! They all stick together and they never grow up! Magic sword my ass!" Kairi finished off her wine and slammed the mug down.
"Magic swords!" Mervin said bitterly. "Don't even get me started. I carry a sword, but that's 'cause it's part of the suit." He held up the chipped, rusty blade. "Nothing magical here! I don't even need it, you know, 'cause I'm such a bad-ass, so I just carry it around until it falls apart. But I'm always running into guys who are all: 'Taste my enchanted steel!' And I'm thinkin': 'Dude! That's so pornographic! Why are you always trying to stick crap into me?'"
"Who needs fickle men? Maybe I should get a sword," Kairi said and hiccuped. "Self reliance!"
"Annoying humans..." Mervin grumbled. "Now elves. They're alright in my book."
"Hey, I, uh… was raised by humans!"
"Geez. I'm sorry," Mervin said. "Say, why don't you let me buy you a whiskey shot to apologize."
Kairi didn't know what whiskey tasted like, and hell, she was feeling pretty adventurous by now. Mervin ordered the shots and threw a couple of gold coins on the bar. When the shots arrived she sniffed the amber liquid suspiciously.
"Cheers!" Mervin toasted and downed the shot. "Ah! I feel like dancin'!" He glided over to the jukebox and in moments the strains of Tequila pounded out in the bar. Mervin jumped onto a table and swayed awkwardly.
"Well, how much worse than wine could it be?" Kairi said to herself, and she drank down the entire shot.
Just as I thought, no worse than cough... syrup?
She gasped.
She grabbed her throat.
She broke out into a cold sweat, and then she opened her mouth and belched forth a stream of fire that spread across the entire bar. Several of the patrons screamed as the flames spread up the walls, and to make matters worse more little fires spontaneously erupted all over the place. Everyone headed for the doors.
Frega and Mervin tracked her down in the commotion. They stood far away from the burning inn while the rest of the patrons scrambled to escape before the barkeep could make them pay their tabs.
"Hey!" the barkeep pinpointed them. "Your apprentice burned down my inn!"
"Hold on there, good sir," Mervin stumbled over and handed the barkeep a gold card. "Charge it to my company account."
"Oh, Mervin!" Kairi clasped her hands together. "Thank you!"
"I can write it off as a "terrorizing the countryside" expense," he said.
"Well, Mervin," Frega said snidely. "Not that I'm ungrateful, but let me ask you this: Do you know how old she is?"
"Uh… nineteen… hundred?" he guessed.
"Try fifteen!" Frega growled.
"... Fifteen… hundred?"
"No. Fifteen!"
"...You're fifteen?" Mervin asked Kairi. "Fifteen?"
"Almost," she admitted.
"Almost? REEEEE!" Mervin shouted, and he melted into the night with a drawn-out, ear-shattering shriek.
"Thanks a lot!" Kairi railed on Frega. "He was nice! Why do guys always leave me?" She hiccuped again and started to cry.
"Forget King Creepy, you burned down the inn!"
"It was an accident!" Kairi took off her hat and bowed her head (or tried to, she was having trouble standing up straight) to receive her punishment. "I'm sorry, sir."
"Please tell me you at least did it using a fire spell," Frega said hopefully.
"Well, sir," she hung her head and sighed. "No, sir."
"Damn!"
Sus lies; Sus lies big. They were working on this little problem before she had him arrested last year.
Two years and four months ago while he was eating a delicious summer sausage sandwich. (He religiously stuck to his diet, but he always made an exception for summer sausage no matter how much it hurt later.) Anyway, he was sitting out in the park with his sandwich when he spotted the growing crowd by the pond, and being a civic-minded nice guy he moseyed over to break up the fight… which turned out to be a cat fight between a couple of attractive women.
"Excuse me? What seems to be the trouble?" he caught the older woman's arm before she could blacken the younger woman's eye.
"Help me! She's trying to kill me!" the young woman in her early twenties ducked around him. The other woman screamed a long string of curses at her and tried to kick her.
"I'm sorry?" he asked, keeping his voice pleasant, "I didn't catch that, what's the problem?"
"She slept with my husband!"
Ah crap, one of these, he thought, I should've known.
"And she told all our friends…" the woman started to cry, which made him more uncomfortable. He never found this kind of thing entertaining, and these days it hit a very sensitive nerve. "… she told everyone certain things. How 'm I supposed to explain this to my kids?"
"Cora!" a man pushed his way through the crowd. "Don't believe anything she says! It's all a lie!"
The young woman stepped out from behind him and said in a voice that carried throughout the park: "But Howard! What about our baby?"
I hate people, Baralai thought at this juncture.
"She's crazy!" Howard yelled at Cora. Cora lunged at Howard. Baralai held onto her tightly, he feared he'd leave bruises.
"Wait!" the young woman wrung her hands. "He's right…"
Cora stopped lunging, frothing at the mouth, and generally all activity. Baralai finally let her go, but he watched her, and everyone else, carefully.
"What?"
"I just… made all that up," she blew her bangs out of her eyes. It was stated as simply as if she were stating that the temperature today was between forty and fifty with a chance of showers. "I lied." Baralai watched Howard, and noticed how visibly relieved the idiot was– a little too relieved. Howard smiled like a man with everything going his way.
"W-why would you make up such a damaging lie?" Cora sputtered.
"You see?" Howard unwisely said. "I didn't do anything! We were just friends!"
"Well, not just," the young woman amended.
"You little liar!" Howard barked. "You've already put my family through enough." Cora kneed Howard in the groin and tried to kick him to death. This time the Praetor just let things play out, the man had it coming.
"Do you live around here?" he asked the forgotten young woman.
"Yeah, not that far away." She scuffed her shoes on the ground. "Am I in trouble?"
"This is none of my business, miss. Let's go, I'll walk you home." They quietly left the park behind. She didn't thank him, she didn't try to converse with him, she didn't do anything until they reached her front door and he turned around to find her crying.
"Now, now. Here," he gave her his handkerchief. "What's your name?"
"Susiana, but everybody calls me Sus," she sniffled and rubbed tears off her cheeks. "It's over, with Howard, isn't it?"
"It's for the best. Would you like my advice?" She nodded. "You're not going to find much happiness with a married man– they're miserable people, otherwise they wouldn't be out looking for girlfriends. And most married guys try not to leave their wives anyway."
"Why not? If they're not happy? And what about love? Don't people honestly fall in love once in a while?"
"Love is a great little high caused by a temporary chemical imbalance in the brain, but no thinking person will throw their life into the shredder for it."
"Wow," she blew out a breath and stopped crying. "You're really cynical for a holy guy."
"This isn't about me. It's about you leaving the married men alone. You're an attractive girl, there are plenty of single guys who'd crawl through glass for a shot with you."
"Yeah, but all they want is sex! I'm ready to settle down now."
"Then find yourself a nice older gentleman with a lot of money and no children." She stared at him hard while she thought about this.
"Seriously," she said. "What's wrong with you?"
"I have to get back to work. I hope things work out for you. Goodbye."
And even though he left her there without telling her his name she tracked him down a mere twenty-four hours later. She marched up to him in the library, where he was working on the Endless Paperwork pile, and handed him a gift basket.
"How did you get in here?" he asked, recovering from his startle very nicely when he noticed that the gift basket was filled with summer sausage.
"I wanted to give you a proper thank you for saving me from a beating. I'm not a very good fighter," she laughed weakly and pushed the basket forward. "So. Here it is. Thank you."
"You're welcome, but this area is restricted." He recalled that the librarian in charge of keeping the public out of this section was young Bashan; a good kid, but he was annoyingly timid. "I'm glad I could be of some assistance, Miss Sus. Thanks for the food."
"Umm," and she clasped her hands behind her back and succeeded in looking cute. Back away, this one's mental, he reminded himself. "I was wondering? If you're not doing anything later…"
"Miss Sus. I'm flattered, but it won't work."
"Why not? You're nice, older, you're clearly employed… oh, and you have a highly evolved sense of morality too!"
"No I don't."
"Yes. You do." Evidently she'd never been turned down before. Even her bewildered look was adorable. "You're not gay are you?"
"It's not that. When I said you should look for an older man, what were the two other qualities I said you should look for?"
"Umm… he should have money… and… no children?" He nodded. "But...?"
"Divorced," he said.
"Ah! That explains the bitterness!" She beamed. "So you are available."
"No. I've got a kid not much younger than you and I'm broke, because I'm paying… grrr... Alimony." The library, which had been perfectly lit by the bright, clear day outside, went dark and a roll of thunder sent tremors through the musty shelves.
"Whoa," Sus breathed. "Well, oh-kay... if you won't go out with me, could you lend me ten gil?"
"Why?"
"I need to find a hotel to stay at."
And the chances to regret being nice just kept on coming!
"You got thrown out of your apartment?"
"See, it's like this," she smiled a simple-minded little smile. "You know that guy Howard? He sort of… owned that building."
"He still can't just throw you out without two weeks notice."
"We-ell. You see, he already gave me the notice… eight months ago…"
"And he let you stay out of the goodness of his heart," he finished dully.
"We-ell, not really," she laughed.
"Don't you have any friends to stay with?"
She stared at the floor.
"Alright," he sighed, "I know someone who can put you up."
It was just that easy. Now he had a human project– dammit. He didn't make it a habit to try to rehabilitate people, but she just wouldn't go away. He made her get a steady job and he tried to steer her away from certain men, men like Howard. Unfortunately, the men he did try to hand her off to found out about her little quirk in some unpleasant ways, and none would ever forgive him.
"Sus, I'm worried about this lying habit you've got. You need to get some help before somebody tries to kill you. Why do you do it?"
"I dunno. Hey, will you go out with me?"
"Don't change the subject."
"Maybe I subconsciously know a guy is bad, right? So maybe I defend myself by making up lies about him."
"There are better ways to handle them, Sus."
"Yeah, I'm bad," she giggled. "But I don't lie about you. I like you, you're good. You should go out with me sometime."
Not one date, he promised himself. She was pretty, young, well-meaning, but he wasn't stupid.
... Well, not very stupid.
...Okay, maybe he was weak and lonely, but definitely not stupid.
He found her crying in the backyard between a couple rows of bean plants. He sat down beside her and offered her his handkerchief.
"Sus, why did you tell the Mayor all those things?" he asked her gently. That was how to handle this, because if she went to the police this time he and the Mayor would likely never leave the city.
"I dunno," she wiped her eyes. "Are you still mad at me?"
"I was never mad at you," he lied. "What about you? Are you still mad at me?"
"Maybe," she blew her nose loudly, "You did leave me, you know."
"And you did have me arrested!"
"It was a joke!" she shot back.
"You took me to court! You told the judge I was trying to buy your affections and you made me look like an idiot! I've never been so embarrassed in my life, and that includes the time I was put on trial for, for…" he ground his teeth and she wept harder.
"I'm s-sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" the wailing would attract the neighbors' attention. "Gimme another chance!"
"Alright! I will, just stop crying!" He had to calm himself. If not for his own sake, then for the sake of the Mayor and Destiny Island's future.
"Hold me!" she whined.
"No! That's what got me into trouble last time," he gave her his other handkerchief instead. The volume of her sobs went down to a respectable level. "That's better. Did you mean it when you said you wanted another chance?" She nodded. "Good. You can start by telling the Mayor about your little joke before she burns a hole through my head with her Death Glare."
"But… she'll think I'm a liar!" At least she had the wit to work out how this sounded and she promptly gave in. "Okay. Fine," she mumbled. "You know, for a someone who's hiding out from the cops you're awfully demanding."
"I can leave anytime," he said quickly.
"Okay, okay. Sheesh, I'm only joking." She smiled hopefully and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "I'm glad you're back, Baralai."
"I'm glad you're okay, too, Sus."
"The Delta Sisters have got to go, they don't fit the Dizzy World image," Maintenance Man Wally said, "I need you to tell 'em that they're fired."
"Doesn't a huge corporation like this have a, I don't know, a procedure for this?" Chappu asked.
"Oh, yeah. This sort of thing doesn't normally involve Maintenance," Wally said. "But the last three guys they sent to do the job disappeared– so, the managers figure they'd leave well enough alone. But I've got a problem with that. The Delta Sisters are organ harvesters! They stole my kidney!"
"... Well," Locke said after a lengthy pause. "I don't think anybody expected that."
"You go in there, fire the Delta Sisters, get my kidney back, and I'll give you back your moogle," Wally jabbed a pink slip at Wakka.
"This is insulting," Mog crossed his arms. "I'm not property! You can't trade for me!"
"Get back to work!" Wally roared. Mog jumped and scurried back to the wiring.
"So, what? They have your kidney just sitting out on the dresser or something?" Chappu reached for the slip.
"I'll do this," Wakka snatched the slip away.
"This is gonna require finesse, Wakka, and you've got the finesse of a... of a..."
"A lobster," Lilo supplied.
"Exactly... what?"
"I wouldn't say lobsters are ungraceful," Zidane said. "Have you ever watched a couple of 'em fight in the tanks at the grocery store?"
"You need a thief, an expendable one," Sus said, looking at Locke.
"Pfft! I think Wally here is having a little fun at our expense," Locke said. He was right, Wakka decided. Organ thieves? Sure, that's likely.
"I'll be right back," Wakka marched to the stage. He practiced firing the Delta Sisters in his head.
"'I'm sorry, but the guy outside asked me to give–' nah. 'Pardon me, but while your performance was really... something–' ugh, no! What should I say?" Wakka blushed at the prospect of having to face the barely dressed and dreaded sisters. He knocked on the dressing room door and took a deep breath.
"Come in!"
The sound of a dentists drill almost drowned out the groans of the man in the dentist's chair.
"Hel' 'e!" he screamed past the little plastic prop that kept his jaw open. One of the Delta sisters turned around.
"Can we help you?" the oldest sister blinked through her blood spattered goggles. His mind was busy trying to wallpaper over the blood with peaceful images of sunsets and dolphins and things like that.
"I said, can we help you?" the sister demanded.
"Look at him, I think something's wrong," The middle sister shut off the drill. "Are you in any pain?"
"Sisters," the youngest one spoke up, "I do believe our little operation here has rendered our visitor speechless."
"Oh-ho!" the older sister laughed. "Please don't mind this! Dental surgery, our little hobby, actually looks worse than it really is. Can we help you with anything?"
"I heard," he squeaked and cleared his throat. "Ahem. I heard you might have a kidney. For sale." The sisters looked at each other and then at him.
"Ye-es, we do have kidneys, but we don't sell them."
"No-no," the youngest sister shook her head. "We donate them, generally after a rigorous screening process. Do you have a recipient in mind?"
"Actually, this guy who wants the kidney, he says you took it from him? He'd like it back now." Honesty's the best policy, in Wakka's view.
"That 'Wally' guy sent you," the middle sister sighed. "He keeps trying to fire us. We don't like him."
"Tell him he has a perfectly good kidney already," the oldest said. "If that is all, you may leave." She waved a hand, shooing him away.
"Oh, please! Please give him back his kidney," Wakka pleaded. "He's holding one of my friends hostage for its return."
The sisters looked at each other again, as though sharing a secret message.
"Really?" the youngest said. "That's Wally for you."
"Well... It's not doing anything but taking up space in the fridge..." the oldest said.
"I guess he's gotten the message," the middle sister added.
"Don't mess with the Delta Sisters!" the youngest ran to the fridge and pulled a small mayonnaise jar from the top shelf. The kidney floated in a murky solution with some wires.
"Shouldn't this be on ice?" he asked taking the jar.
"Oh-ho! Look who's the doctor now!" the middle sister said.
"Cindy!" the oldest one silenced her sister with a cold look. She gave Wakka a smile that made him think that maybe she thought he was cute. Alright! "I hope this helps. Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got a project to finish up." The man in the chair started screaming again.
"Um," he hated to do it. They'd been so nice to him, but a deal was a deal. He handed the pink slip to the youngest sister. "This is for you. Sorry."
The girl's pupils became pinpricks as she held the slip.
"Sisters," she said dully. "Get the chloroform."
The others later told him that they heard a loud crash and some horrible cursing. The noise didn't last long, and right afterwards the door slammed opened.
"Well... 'ere's your kidney," Wakka staggered out of the dressing room through a cloud of chloroform with the kidney jar.
"Wakka," Lilo shrieked. "There's something sticking out of your back!"
"Looks like a water pik," Sus yanked the pik out of his back. "What happened in there?"
"I..." he swayed on his feet. Wally grabbed the jar and motioned to his assistant to release Mog. "I, uh... made the sisters... drop the chloroform... Ker-sploosh!" He threw his arms out for dramatic emphasis, and fell to the ground.
To Be Continued
A/N: Long, long ago I got my hands on what I now believe to be a fan-sub of Final Fantasy IV, and thus began a long love affair with a video game series. The Magus sisters were called the Delta Sisters; Rydia wasn't a Summoner, she was a Caller; and Barbariccia was Valvalis (?)
Ah, good times.