A Home without a Heart

Summary: While some people used drugs or alcohol to escape the horrors of reality, Bella loved to read, she loved to write, and she loved to daydream.

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With practiced choreography, she slid the ostentatious gold rings on her finger just before the elevator doors pinged open. The sound of her heels clicking on the hard tiles echoed as she hurried towards her bedroom. When the door was within arm's reach, a deep voice startled her.

"You're home."

She slowly turned around and found his large form standing only a few yards behind her. Her stoic mask almost faltered at his sudden closeness. "I know what tonight is. You don't need to remind me every time."

He narrowed his eyes. "I'd like to eat together tonight. There's something I need to discuss."

She swallowed down the fear that threatened to show on her face at his unusual request. "What would you like me to prepare for dinner?"

"Jessica is cooking steak."

"Okay, seven?"

But he was already walking away, his hair tied in a low ponytail, swinging as he retreated out of sight. She quickly let herself into her bedroom and shut the door, leaning against it. With her eyes closed, she waited for her heart to return to its normal pace. The unexpected run-in had thrown her usual composure.

When she was sure she wouldn't trip over, she headed to her walk-in closet, stepping out of her shoes, neatly putting them away, and placing her clothes in the wash basket. With the ensuite door securely locked, she relaxed under the spray of water from the showerhead high on the ceiling.

It was Thursday night. She always hated Thursday nights, but there was no getting out of it. The only option was to take her mind off the evening to come.

Earlier that day, she sat in her seat at the coffee shop across from campus. Her favorite pastime was to stare out the window and watch the people pass by, imagining what the stranger's lives were like. They made great writing prompts for her lit class.

Right now, a couple was fighting in the street, yelling over the top of each other, waving their arms around wildly. She watched carefully, analyzing their body language and idiosyncrasies before a voice interrupted her.

"Earth to Bella," Alice sang in her musical voice.

She blinked and returned her attention to her friend with a smile. "Sorry, I was daydreaming again. What did you say?"

"I asked, how's your novel was going?"

"It's getting there, slowly."

Alice shook her head. "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Write such beautiful love stories. For someone who has never even dated anyone-"

Bella interrupted her. "I have dated, but I prefer to live vicariously through my characters."

Alice rolled her eyes. "You know you don't have to. You could go out on an actual date. It wouldn't kill you."

Bella uncrossed, then recrossed her legs before glancing back out the window. The couple on the street were now gone. Having missed how the fight ended, she sighed.

"So…" Alice continued. But, when Bella looked back at her friend, she had a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"What are you up to?" Bella asked.

"Well, since you asked. Jasper's brother is in town and-"

"No, Alice."

"Come on, when was the last time you went out?"

"Leave it alone, please."

Alice huffed, "you are no fun anymore. How long have we known each other?"

"Eight and a bit years."

"Exactly, and how many guys have you been out with?"

Bella ignored her.

"Look, I know your dad is a scary guy." Alice shuddered. "But surely he can't expect you to remain single your whole life?"

"No, he certainly does not," Bella said bitterly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Doesn't matter."

Alice growled in frustration. "You are so secretive all the time. You've cut pretty much everyone out of your life. I'm the only friend you have left, and that's because I'm like an annoying little fly that won't leave you alone." Bella smiled, knowing it was true. "Why can't you open up to me? I've been your best friend since boarding school, and I've never even seen your apartment."

Bella looked down at the table between them and fiddled with her coffee cup. "I'm sorry. You know that there are certain aspects of my life which I prefer to keep private."

Alice reached across the table and held her hand still. "I am always here for you. Whatever you need. And… if you are interested, Jasper and I will be going out clubbing tomorrow night, and Edward will be coming with us."

"Alice-"

"Look, it doesn't have to be a date. Just come and hang out with us, and if you end up leaving with him… no one ever has to know."

Bella shook her head to clear the deadly thoughts from her mind, instead focusing on the task at hand; she washed her body, her hair, and shaved her legs. When there was nothing left to clean, she switched off the shower and toweled herself down. Once dry, she redressed for the evening and blow-dried her hair. However, by the time she reapplied her makeup, her nerves were making a reappearance.

While some people used drugs or alcohol to escape reality, Bella loved to read, she loved to write, and she loved to daydream. In her mind, she could go anywhere, do anything, or be anyone she wanted. Her imagination was her only limitation.

She set her laptop on her desk, and while it booted up, she reimagined how she thought the fighting couple would have ended their disagreement. Bella knew it wouldn't have lasted long. They were full of passion, but there was love in their eyes. It was as clear as day.

He would have dropped his arms in defeat and mumbled an apology. She would have spat a retort, but her arms would have twitched with the need to comfort him. Finally, after a second or two, she would have stepped towards his opened arms, and she would have wound herself around his torso. Dropping his head to her shoulder, they would speak sweet apologies to each other.

Bella leaned back in her chair and sighed. She could only imagine what it would be like to have someone she loved hold her like that.

A knock on her door startled her.

"Yes?"

"Dinner is ready, ma'am."

"Thank you, Jessica. I'll be out in a minute."

Bella glanced at the time; it was five past seven. "Damn it," she cursed herself as she hurried towards the dining room.

"Sorry," she said as she took her seat at the opposite end of the large table.

There was no reply, only the clinking and scraping of cutlery on his plate.

Bella tried to eat her meal, but the tension in the air squashed any appetite she previously had. The silence ate away at her for a few minutes before he cleared his throat and set aside his knife and fork, having finished.

"Isabella?"

"Mhmm," she mumbled as she tried to swallow a mouthful of food past the lump in her throat.

He waited for her to look at him. "It's time for us to have a baby."

Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes widened in surprise. "W-what?"

"We've been married for five years now. It's time."

Her leg started jiggling under the table, her heart racing in time with its beat. "I'm still in school… haven't finished my degree yet..." I haven't even told anyone that I'm married. How do I explain a pregnancy?

"You'll be finished by the time you have him."

"But I won't be able to work."

"You don't need to work."

"I just… I…" She stared wide-eyed at him, unable to find the right words. Her breath was coming in short and sharp, unable to find air as the walls and ceiling closed in on her. Whatever she was expecting from tonight, it wasn't this.

He ran his hand down his face before clenching it into a fist and placing it on the table in front of him. "I've been good to you. Haven't I?"

She stared at him like a deer caught in headlights, unable to move. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest.

"I let you go to school. I gave you your own space. Have I ever hit you?"

He waited for a response this time. Maybe she should be grateful. It could always be worse. Jacob Black was a powerful man with a reputation to match. But he had treated her better than her father ever did.

"No." But there are worse things than being slapped in the face or punched in the gut.

"And have I asked for anything in return?"

Only Monday, Thursday, and Saturday nights. But she didn't dare say it out aloud.

"I spoke to Dr. Clearwater today, and your depo shot is coming up for renewal next week. I would like for you not to have it." It sounded like a request, but she knew it wasn't.

"Jacob, please, I'm not ready."

"My bloodline must continue. It is expected of you. That is the whole reason for this marriage." A marriage her father had arranged.

"I know," and she really did. It was written into their contract. "I just didn't expect it this soon. I'm only twenty-three," she said, knowing it would have little impact.

"Do I need to speak with Charles?"

Bella flinched and shook her head. "No," she whispered.

"Good," he said as he stood and walked confidently towards her. "Are you wearing that tonight?"

"I-I can change."

He stepped behind her chair as she kept her glassy eyes staring at the table. His icy fingers swept a lock of hair off her shoulder before placing his hand on her bare skin, sending a chill through her body. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I'll see you in an hour," he said as he swiftly left the room. In its place, there was a deathly silence.

Bella rose from her chair on autopilot, her food forgotten. She walked quickly towards her sanctuary before shutting herself inside and finally letting the tears fall down her cheeks. She cocooned her body in her quilt, trying to bury herself, but it provided little comfort from the thoughts plaguing her mind.

In the beginning, Bella had naively hoped they would fall in love over time, but he was a cold man with little emotion. It was a marriage filled with fear instead of love, a relationship based on obligation rather than desire - a home without a heart. Not something a child should ever be brought into. And, she would know.

Just once, she wanted to know what it felt like to fall in love and be loved in return, not just read about it in books or watch it happen to people around her. She wanted to choose for herself, even if only for one night. But there were no magical genies or fairy godmothers in her story.

There would be no escape.

A beep from her phone halted her inner damnation. She tentatively reached an arm out of the blankets to retrieve it from the nightstand.

After blinking a few times to clear her vision, she found one new message from Alice:

I found you the perfect dress for tomorrow night. Be mine by 9. Love you.