Chapter 5
Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
And leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding
"Hemorrhage (In My Hands)", Fuel
"I'm Calleigh Duquesne, my boyfriend, Tim Speedle was just brought in by ambulance?" she asked the woman at the front desk of the Emergency Department.
"I'm sorry, hon, I can't release information about patients to anyone but family," the woman replied, regretfully.
"I am family," Calleigh protested. The woman opened her mouth to respond, but Calleigh shook her head. "No, no, I know." It wasn't the woman's fault that the hospital had a really narrow definition of the word family. "I'm a cop, how's that?" she asked, pulling her badge out.
The woman hesitated, then said, "How's this. I'll go back and see if he's here and if he can talk. If he tells me it's ok for you to talk to the doctor, then I'll come get you, ok?"
"Thank you," Calleigh said. If Tim was awake, he was probably wondering where she was. They hadn't let her come in the ambulance. "Is there a phone I can use?" she asked, glancing at the "No Cell Phones, Please" sign on the wall.
"Sure, honey, right over there. I'll be right back," the woman said, waving someone else over to take her place.
"Thank you," Calleigh said again, walking over to the phone.
She took a deep breath and dialed Horatio's cell phone. "Caine," he answered.
"Horatio? It's me," she said, trying to keep her voice from shaking.
"Calleigh? What's wrong?" Horatio asked instantly.
"I'm at the hospital with Tim. He…I don't know what happened, but he cut his arm somehow and he passed out so I had to call the ambulance because I couldn't get him up off the floor by myself," she said.
"Which hospital?"
"University. They won't tell me anything yet," she said.
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Horatio said. "Did you call his therapist?"
"No, why?" she asked, confused.
"Calleigh, they're going to want to slap a psych hold on him once they see his medication history. I'd rather that determination be made by his doctor, not the hospital, don't you think?" Horatio said.
"Right," she said faintly. "I'll call now."
"Good. Hang in there, I'll be there as soon as I can." Horatio hung up before she could reply.
She fumbled with her cell phone a moment to get Andy's number. The receptionist answered "Dr. McCall and Associates."
"Hi, my name is Calleigh Duquesne, and I'm Tim Speedle's girlfriend. He's a patient of Dr. McCall's?"
"Of course," the receptionist replied, obviously recognizing Tim's name. "Is something the matter?"
"We're at the hospital. Tim cut his arm somehow, and I…well, I don't know what's going on, but…"
"Hold on a moment," the receptionist interrupted her. "Dr. McCall isn't with a patient now, so let me see if he's free to talk to you, ok?"
"Thank you," Calleigh said, relieved.
Andy must have been free because she was on hold for less than a minute. "Calleigh?"
"Andy?" she asked.
"What happened?" he asked.
"I don't know. He went to work today, and Horatio sent him home immediately, because he's not been sleeping and that's part of the deal. He said Tim was upset when he left, and he'd asked him to call when he got home to make sure he was ok, but Tim never called. I happened to be out near the house talking to a witness for a case, and Horatio called and asked me to check on Tim and make sure he was ok. I walked into the kitchen and he was standing there bleeding and then he passed out," she said, breathlessly.
"You didn't see him cut himself?" Andy asked.
"No. I don't think he'd done it very long before I got there, though," she said. "At a guess."
"Ok. What hospital?" he asked.
"University," she said.
"Good, I have privileges there. Let me get over there and see what I can do," Andy said.
"Thank you," Calleigh replied, relieved.
"I'll be there shortly. I'll find you as soon as I know anything," Andy promised.
"All right, thanks," Calleigh said, hanging up.
"Ms. Duquesne?" someone asked.
"Yes?" she said, turning to find a nurse standing there.
"I'm Patti. I'm one of the nurses. Your boyfriend sent me to find you so you can answer some questions," she said.
"He did?" Calleigh asked, blinking. What kind of questions? she wondered. She certainly didn't know why he'd cut himself.
"I believe his exact words were 'I can't think, go ask my girlfriend, she knows.'" Patti replied.
Calleigh was still just a bit surprised when he called her his girlfriend. She shook it off quickly, though and said, "Um, ok." She let the nurse lead her into a triage room. "He's awake, then?"
"Oh, yes. Awake and asking for you. I can't take you back, though, I'm sorry," Patti said. "But he's in pretty good shape."
"Good," she said, faintly. "What questions?"
"He said you know his medical history?" Patti asked.
"Oh," she said, nodding, half-relieved. "Yes. I can answer those questions."
"Ok, first of all, when's his birthday?" Patti asked.
"Next week," she sighed. "June 24th. Um, 1974," she said, doing the subtraction quickly. "He couldn't tell you that?"
"He wouldn't answer anything, just said he wanted you," Patti said.
"He doesn't do well in hospitals," Calleigh said.
"We'll keep it in mind," Patti said. "Is he allergic to anything?"
Calleigh shook her head, "No. No allergies."
"Is he on any medications?" The question she'd half dreaded, even though she knew it was important.
"Yeah. Amoxicillin, Nexium, Lexapro, Paxil and Ativan, when he needs it. He has panic attacks," she said, hoping that he wasn't having one right at the moment.
"Has he been sick?" Patti asked.
"Hm?" Calleigh asked, frowning.
"The Amoxicillin," Patti asked.
"Oh, right. No, he hasn't. He had surgery to repair an open jaw fracture and had his spleen removed in September. Um, the 21st, I think. Last year. His job is in a high risk category for infection, so he's on the antibiotic therapy indefinitely," she explained.
"What does he do?" Patti asked.
"Crime Scene Investigator," Calleigh replied. "We see a lot of dead bodies and such."
"Right," Patti said, eyes widening. "The antidepressants, how long has he been on them?"
Calleigh closed her eyes and thought. It had taken a little while to get all the dosages correct and there'd been some medication switches along the way. "The Ativan since September. The Paxil since October, I think, and I think the Lexapro was in November," she said, finally.
"They're not new, though," Patti asked.
"No, not new."
"He went on them after the surgery?" Patti asked.
Calleigh nodded. "He's got post traumatic stress syndrome due to the assault that caused the injuries, yes. He was assaulted on the job, and two other officers were killed."
"Oh!" Patti said. "I think I remember reading about that."
"Right," Calleigh said, grimly. "It was a rough winter."
"I can imagine. Have there been any changes in his medications, recently? Cutting the dosages or anything?"
Calleigh sighed. "He'd been on Ambien. He has severe insomnia. His doctor took him off of it this week. He hasn't slept since Sunday, at least not more than a couple of hours."
"I see," Patti said, writing something down.
"His doctor is on his way over," Calleigh added.
"Good," Patti said. "That will help. Has he ever made any sort of indication towards self-harm before?"
Calleigh paused. Well, not sleeping and not eating and overworking are somewhat self-destructive, right? But he's never actually done anything to hurt himself before, that I know of… "Not that I know of," she said, slowly. "I mean, it could have just been an accident?"
"Perhaps," Patti said, unconvincingly. "That's all I needed to know, though. Thank you."
"I can't come back?" Calleigh asked, knowing the answer was no, but wanting to ask anyway.
"I'm sorry, no. Maybe after he gets stitched up," Patti offered.
"Ok," Calleigh said.
"We'll come tell you if anything happens," Patti assured her. "He gave us permission to tell you and anyone with you what's going on."
"Ok, good," she said. "I guess I'll just be out here, then."
"We'll let you know," Patti said, standing up and leading her out to the waiting room. Horatio wasn't there yet, she saw. She sat down and closed her eyes. How did we get here, Tim? How did this happen? How much more can we take? she wondered. They were questions without answers, and she knew it. But she wondered anyway.