I Shall Believe
Part Four
Please say honestly, you won't give up on me…
Derek had finally made his way home; he climbed out of his car and slumped towards his trailer. He stopped a few feet outside and looked around. He sighed and looked down, closing his eyes and remembering her face, so warm and inviting, without words asking him to take her hand, and what happened after, well, he'd never really be able to forget that. They had walked in, so long ago; she had looked around and laughed, then turned to him and smiled. God, he loved that smile, he'd do anything to see it now. With that, he walked into his home and turned to the refrigerator. He pulled a beer out and returned to his make-shift front porch. Sitting on the lawn chair, he looked at his watch. It was nearly 3am. Luckily, he wasn't on call. Unfortunately, sleep wasn't an option either, so he sat there, taking the occasional sip of his beer.
Meredith walked into her house and went up the stairs; she heard Izzie and George up talking, so she decided that she owed it to Izzie to make a stop in. She knocked on the door, which was cracked, and poked her head in.
"Hey." She said softly.
Izzie looked up and saw her friend at the door.
"Hey," she responded, her voice still shaky. "Wanna come join the pity party?"
Meredith laughed, "I didn't know we were allowed to have those. After all, we're interns."
"Yeah, well, this is the exception." George added.
Meredith moved to sit down on the end of the bed. George stood up and released Izzie's hand, which he had been holding for hours.
"I think I'm going to go get some coffee. You guys want anything?"
"Chocolate" the women said in unison.
"Right. I'll be back, promise."
George moved out the door and down the stairs towards the kitchen.
"So…"
"Yeah, so…"
"I miss him…" Izzie said.
"Yeah," Meredith said. She looked down and started fiddling with her hands, as she did when she was unsure or restless.
"You too, huh?"
"Pretty much."
"Well I guess you have right, you can't get him back either."
Meredith looked towards Izzie. "Not exactly..."
Izzie gave Meredith a puzzled look. "What? He's with Addison."
"Izzie… at prom, tonight… we slept together. I got upset and he followed me and it just happened. I'm not proud of it, but it did and… then he tells me that he and Addison are over and that he still loves me and that he'll do anything. But he can't just do that, right? He can't just make what he did go away. I mean, it was big. It was really, really big. Am I wrong on this one?"
"Well…"
"You think I'm wrong, don't you?"
"Pretty much, yeah. Look," she started to say between tears "I've lost the man I love…I can't get him back. You've got this opportunity that most people would kill for. WHY would you NOT take advantage of that?"
"I just…"
"Meredith, no offense, but SHUT UP. Denny died. We got engaged and now he's dead. I CAN'T get him back. The guy you love came back. Not only did he come back, but he threw himself at you. You turned him down, and for what? Because it wasn't good enough? Congratulations, Meredith. You threw away what I'd KILL FOR. Again."
Meredith felt her eyes welling up with tears. She half smiled and looked at Izzie, who was now absolutely balling.
"I don't know what to say."
"Just go…I think George got lost with the chocolate."
"Should I really go now? I mean…it's nearly 3am."
"Are you asleep?"
"…Obviously not."
"You really think he's going to be?"
"…guess not."
"Stop making excuses."
"Right, I know. I'm going."
Meredith got up and went to the door; George had closed it behind him so Meredith opened it. George nearly fell into the bedroom. Apparently he had been listening at the door.
"Oh, God. Sorry. I just… and the door was… and well…"
"She wants chocolate George. And I think she's going to need a shoulder… she seems to like yours."
Meredith started walking down the stairs.
"Hey, Meredith?" George called to her. She stopped on the stairs and turned around.
"Hmm?"
"Good luck."
She smiled in appreciation and left the house. It was 3am…and she was about to make the biggest choice she thought she'd ever faced.