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Lorelai's POV

I just stood there, arms crossed, looking at the man that seemed to always fix my heart when it was broken but was now the one breaking it right in two. I had given him a decition, we get married right now, no more waiting because of the invader named April, no more excusses and definatly no more saying "we will, eventually.' i had taken alot of time and i thought about it and i cant take the "not now bull crap." See, his daughter April came into his life and all of a sudden she was inbetween us and now he dosent want to marry me, atleast not right now, he wants to have things nice for April, not occuared, but, the only thing that i can think of is, "what about me?" He sort of, left me, i mean, he was there but, not with me...it is soooo confusing and all I just want him to look at me and tell me that the only thing that he wants to do is marry me, Lorelai, the same Lorelai that he wanted to marry until April showed up...i miss that Luke. He looked at me and told me that he just...couldnt marry me right now. I could feel the tears that wanted my permisstion to pass into the sight of Luke but i would not allow it, so, i just...walked away, and left him there, i got half way to my car and i turned around, i gave him a look that i really hoped said to him "i really love you, i just wish you felt the same" and i finished walking to my car. The tears decided to forget about making sure that it was okay that they come out and they started to flow against my will. I had my keys in my pocket and i got them out, put them to teh door to unlock it and i was about to turn the key and i smelled the snow...it started to fall in its little white flakes and i couldnt help but stop and take one deep breath in and smell the one thing that all i could do is describe as...innocence. I pulled the key out of the door and started walking, how could the first snow, so precious to me, bring something like this on me, i felt so...betrayed.

Rory's POV meanwhile

He told me that if i went with him and i waved to him at the gate like i wanted to that he wouldnt be able to get on the plane. The other day he told me to tell him not to go, to stay with me, and i just...couldnt, i knew this is something that either had to be done, or refussed by him, i could have no part in it, even though it hurt me, so bad, to know that without me telling him that i needed him, he would go, and i knew that when it happened, i wouldnt be able to hold myself up...he was my support beams and now, he was gone, and i needed him. I stood there in the doorway looking at the shut elevator door, i had a place to live, a place that i loved and he left me the car that he knew i wouldnt use. but, i didnt care, he was gone and the only person in the world that i knew could make me feel better was my mom and i needed to go to her.

Lorelai's POV later that night

i opened the door and saw her, my daughter, my only daughter and she was so upset, but it was not nessasary to ask her why, i looked in her eyes and i saw her pain, and how she was not okay, she was hurting so bad, and once again, there was nothing i could do. We met in the middle of the entrance hall in a hug of only tears. We fell to the floor and both of us where crying uncontrollably and we were not ready to stop or get the icecream that i always say is a nessesity for wollowing...wollowing wouldnt work this time, there was no fixing this one...

Rory's POV after she got up

I got up and walked towards my room, i can feel my stomach turning and i realize that my mom got up and moved to the couch, i walk through the hallway and see my door is open and my light is still on from earlier, so i re-enter my room and i go for the pills that my mom never found out about, a friend had given them to me like two years ago and i knew they were used as a way af calming down and felt like if i ever needed a drug, now was that time, i got into my desk drawer and i found the pouch that i had them in from the night that i got them. i open the pouch to find it empy, i started to panic, but strangly, where they went was not on my mind, finding an alturnative to using the pills was my first priority. I started looking around franticly and i saw an old compass that i used to have from when i went to stars hollow high and i couldnt believe i had it still but i dont even know what caught my attention about it, but, i looked at it like it was the answers to my prayers, i stared at the sharp and shiny blade and i suddenly got this over whelming feeling that i should use it as my alturnative, i picked this holy item up and suddenly was discussted with myself, i just opened my hand and let the tool fall to the floor, i ran out of my room as fast as i could with the intentions of getting away from...this. When i reached the door i grabbed my coat and i flew out that door with no destination. i walked around randomly and i found my self in the middle of townsquare, it was now very dark outside and the blanket of snow that had developed from earlier was the only thing that kept it from being pitch black. I started crying again, i had managed to stop for a while and i acctually tryed rationally thinking all of this through and then i realized, hes gone, and that was something that thinking about the situation could not help. I was now passing the gazzibo and i was watching the snow, i always had good luck when it snowed and i started feeling betrayed as if the snow really had an affect on what happened to me. I look up to make sure that i was not about to run into a tree or a snowman from the contest that had taken place a day or two ago to find i was not alone. I saw the one person that never even once didnt understand me, Jess.

ok well what do you think? this story is by Hallie with jasmen's(me)help, remember to review we like the good and the bad, but we like the good more! lol

Much Love Jasmen & Hallie