Okay, okay, you get the gist, I've forgotten to mention it before in other stories, but everybody knows I don't own Fruits Baskets and all that. Tee hee. I really should stop writing in my hypo moods. Poor Fruba… the cast don't deserve it.

Kyo: (despairing) I wish I was the rat.

Yuki: No you don't. I'm the rat! IT'S ALL ME DAMMIT!

Kagura: Guyzzz… seriously…

Slut: Hi! I'm a slut! Wanna rape me?

Hatori: You need help.

Haru: Are you gay Hatori? I caught you humping that log the other day.

Kagura: NO!

Haru: YES! And it was a MALE log.

Yuki: NO! IT'S MY LOG! I WANT TO HUMP MY LOG!

Slut: Oh geez, this is so boring. I want somebody to sex me.

Doraemon: EEP EEP EEP! WOO WOO WOO!

Ayame: Meow!

Kyo: I'm the cat! LET ME BE THE CAT!

Kagura: Oh but Kyo, you are the cat. Be the cat and it will be a part of you!

Tohru: GUYS! I MADE SOUP! IT'S RED WITH JELLY PLOPS INSIDE!

Hiro: Why has it got white in it?

Kyo: Kyo tipped the salt bowl into it!

Kyo: I did? Since when?

Kyo: I don't know… since…

Hatori: (writing in a notepad) Split personality… bad sign… crazy outbursts… no sign yet…

Yuki: (wails insanely) BUT IT WAS MYYYYYY LOG… YOU TAINTED IT! YOU CORRUPTED IT! YOU KILLED IT!

Hatori: (sighs)

Kureno: COCKADOODLEDOO!

Kagura: KURENO! DON'T BE RUDE!

Kureno: OH, OHHHHH!

Akito: KURENO! STOP! YOU'RE MINE!

Kureno: AHHHHH! YES YES!

Shigure: As I-I-I-I-I shampoo my hair, I really really love… REALLY REALLY LOVE, REALLY REALLY LOOOOOOOVEEEEE….

Yuki: (sniffles) My poor poor log… oh how corrupted it must be.

Kisa: KITTY KITTY HUMP ME!

Kyo: NO! I'M NOT THE CAT! I'M THE RAT!

Kyo: No, technically, you are the cat…

Kyo: (pouts)

Haru: Rat? Or Cat? Make up your mind.

Slut: This is, like, so gay and… like… eurgh.

Kyo: Ratcart!

Kyo: SHIT! YOU'RE INGENIOUS!

Kyo: I know man, ain't it great?

Tohru: Ratcart? Rats don't have carts!

Kagura: OH MY KYO'S GONE INSAAAAAAANE!

Kyo: Have not!

Kyo: Have too!

Kyo: (rolls eyes) Ugh, you're just… impossible.

Momiji: Book him in an institution! We'll visit him lots and lots.

Kyo: Who invented cats anyways? They're totally useless…

Kyo: And they leave fur all over the place.

Kyo: (coughs up a furball)

Kyo: (simultaneously with himself) LIKE THAT!

Kureno: OHHH! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Akito: KURENO! STOP! NOW! THERE'S A WAR TO BE WON!

Kyo: (blushing) Well, there's this… boy.

Kyo: A boy eh?

Haru: (white) A BOY!

Kyo: Yes, yes… a boy… got that? It was a cute boy too… a little boy toy…

Kagura: I KNEW IT! I KNEW I WAS BEING REPLACED!

Yuki: This boy doesn't exist. He's a figment of our favourite – oh geez, did I say favourite – err… 'ratcart's' imagination.

Kyo: I have no imagination. I have no life. I may as well just…

Kyo: (slaps himself) Don't be like that! Things'll look up! One day!

Kyo: AS IF! I'm a mutant… a freak…

Kyo: (cracks knuckles) And I can't beat rat boy…

Kureno: OHHHHHHHH!

Akito: YOU'RE CRAZY! CRAZY! BAD ROOSTER! BAD ROOSTER! GO AWAY! AWAY FROM ME!

Tohru: A CHICKEN? WHERE! WE CAN HAVE EGGS FOR TEA!

Kureno: (winces and comes back to earth) OUCH! That'd require some dude humping me in the arse right?

Tohru: RIGHT!

Kureno: Sounds saucy!

Akito: IT… S… SOUNDS… SO… YOU BETRAYER! YOU BETRAYED ME AND MY TRUST! OH MY POOR TRUST!

Yuki: (wails) OH HER POOR, POOR, TRUST…

Akito: Shut up.

Tohru: I'll go put the frying pan on… and slip on an apron… naked…

Slut: BITCH!

Kagura: LET ME SLIP ON A NAKED APRON TOO!

Tohru: We can be naked together…

Kyo: Greeeeat…

Shigure: Dude, where's my car?

Ayame: Dude, where IS your car?

Tohru: Oh, I tried to drive it and it went over a cliff. I'm dead. You're talking to a dead person.

Kyo: AN 80 YEAR OLD RA ROBOT JEDI MAN HAS INVADED THE LANDING SPACE! WARNING! WARNING!

Kyo: I just spoke, don't be a dickhead.

Yuki: Kyo, why are you speaking to yourself?

Haru: Uhh… if you'd tune in back up… (points up) there, then you'd happen to notice that Kyo has a split personality.

Akito: He's getting up Kureno for betraying me. MONSTER! YOU'RE ALL MONSTERS!

Haru: Really…

Shigure: No, don't start…

Kagura: Really really?
Haru: (nods) Really.

Shigure: NO!

Kagura: REALLY really really?

Shigure: (claps hands over his ears) NO! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Haru: Really really.

Kagura: REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY…

Kyo: Kagura, stop, really.

Momiji: Really re… (Shigure slammed him over the head with Kagura's frying pan)

Kagura: NOT MY FRYING PAN!

Kyo: HELL NO, ANYTHING BUT THE FRYING PAN!

Kyo: The frying pan's kinda dinted now.

Kyo: Nuh, ya think?

Kagura: (furious) YOU CORRUPTED IT! YOU CORRUPTED IT BY TAINTING IT WITH THAT CORRUPTED LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT'S TAINTED HEAD!

Tohru: Now that's where my best frying pan went.

Kagura: (nods animatedly while slamming Shigure mercilessly with it) Yep! It's my baby.

Yuki: Yours and Kyo's?

Kagura: NO! Metal Man's.

Kyo: FINALLY! She's moved on!

Kyo: I wouldn't bet on it…

Kagura: KYO! NO! I CHEATED ON YOU AND I FEEL SOOOO BAD!

Kyo: Oh no don't, seriously.

Tohru: Can I have it back? Just, I need to cook wi… (Kagura slams the frying pan over Tohru's head)

Yuki: This is quite an interesting game. (sings happily) One of these peoples, is gonna get smashed next…

Ayame: YUKI MY BOY! MY BROTHER! MY FRIEND! Be a good dear and sacrifice your little ratty runty body for a meal to cook over the fire!

Momiji: I JUST FOUND CHOCOLATE COATED PEANUTS!

Kagura: They're melted.

Akito: I MELTED THEM! I'M GOD!

Kureno: (on one knee in front of Akito) Darling, I think I'm pregnant. Will you marry me?

Akito: PREGNANT! MARRIAGE! WHAT NEXT? A GRUESOME DOUBLE MURDER?

Haru: (evil glint) I can comply with that…

Kyo: I'M TAKING THE BEADS OFF AND THROWING MYSELF OVER THIS LOG!

Kyo: NO! DON'T!

Kureno: (scowls heavily) DON'T… TOUCH… THE LOG!

Akito: TRAITOR! Now I know where your heart really lies…

Kyo: With a log?

Kureno: I'm pregnant dear, please make space for PMS.

Ayame: I have the PERFECT maternal attire. You'll just LOVE it.

Yuki: Kyo, go flying through the roof for me.

Kyo: I'M BUSY HERE! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE?

Kyo: YEAH!
The Phantom: I'm there, inside your mind, if you have any chocolate lolly sticks, throw them now.

Kyo: WHY can't I just kill myself in peace?
Shigure: Well, technically, we need to catch a ride home, and you're a 'ratcart'.

Tohru: Where ARE we?

Yuki: (whispers) In the middle of a page of paper…

Shigure: Should we go back up, back the way we came?
Akito: NO! (bursts into tears) There are too many hurtful memories.

Momiji: OOPS! KURENO'S GOING INTO LABOUR!

Kureno: NO I'M NOT!

Kagura: But that's what he WOULD say if…

Shigure: (dryly) if he was, yes yes, we get the picture.

Ernie: Beeeea boooe, beeea boooo…

Hatori: Yes… we… speak… English…

Yuki: IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!

Kagura: WHAT IS!

Tohru: KURENO! IT'S KURENO!

Everybody: (turns to Kureno)

Kureno: (groans and gives birth to eggs)

Akito: Awww… they're so fricking cute… now fricking squash them before I fricking come over there and fricking murder them fricking slowly….

Kyo: KAGURA! COME TO ME BABY! I'M HIGH AND COMPLETELY OUTTA MY MIND! YOU HORNY DEVIL!

Kagura: KYO! THE HORNS ARE THERE TO KEEP THE HALO STRAIGHT, GOT THAT?

Kyo: (sheepishly) No, I don't, but I'll pretend…

Shigure: (shaking head) That's not your quote Kagura, you quoted somebody else.

Tohru: LOOK! THE WORLD IS SPINNING!

And indeed it was. You see, she fainted, fell through the earth, and went to hell where she got quite acquainted with and married the Devil and they all live happily ever after.

Kyo: TOHRU CAN'T FALL THROUGH THE EARTH!

Kagura: Kyo, I'll give you my horns.

Hatori: I believe we should have a Sohma Family Mental Institution.

Yuki: ROLL UP, ROLL UP! PUT YOUR REVIEWS HERE IF YOU VOTE FOR A SOHMA FAMILY MENTAL INSTITUTION! (winks)

Momiji: I SEE DEAD PEO… (Kagura hit him over the head again…)

Ahh… uh huh…. Ooh! Okies, Seeya!