A/N: Grand Delusions conned me into writing this and I just simply couldn't tell her no.
Pretending. That was something Meredith has learned to be good at.
She pretended that she didn't hear the whispers when she walked back , nor did she pretend to think the reason she wasn't scrubbing in on any surgeries was because the OR hadn't been that busy.
She knew full well why she didn't get asked to scrub in.
Because she was the dirty mistress of her attending.
Even if the dirty mistress part was no longer true, because divorce papers had long ago been signed, and she had been Meredith Grey-Shepherd for a good six months.
No, she knew it was because everyone in the hospital thought of her as Meredith Grey, homewrecker. Not as Dr. Meredith Grey. According the nurse's station the only reason she made it through medical school was because she Ellis Grey's daughter, and even then, she probably had slept with a few of her professors.
Still, she pretended that it didn't bother her. What else could she do?
There some days she would rather be anyone but the daughter of Ellis Grey, because that made her offense with Derek that much harder. Whispers that she had become her mother and that particular trait must run in the family. So Meredith sucked it up and took her punishment for causing the demise of the Shepherd's marriage, because they had been trying and she just couldn't let go.
Ironically, the one person who wasn't judging her and whispering behind her back was the one person she'd have least expected. The former wife of her lover. Addison made certain to let her know that she herself didn't blame Meredith. That their marriage had been over for a long time, but neither had been willing to accept it. Addison had quickly become a confidant. Besides, she was one of the few doctors who still actually liked to work with Meredith. She refused to feed the rumors, so she never ever scrubbed in on one of Derek's surgeries.
She liked working with the former Mrs. Shepherd. Addie didn't take crap from anyone around her and she didn't like to be surrounded by bullshit. Whenever she caught the nurse's running their mouth, she made sure to let them know that the hospital was a place of healing and she didn't appreciate her or anyone's personal life being discussed in public where patients could hear them. It was unprofessional and she made certain to tell them that she most certainly didn't like receiving anyone's pity. Then she reminded them of the really hot plastic surgeon that was currently occupying her nights and flaunted that huge rock in their face.
That part always made Meredith laugh. She had always thought that Addie's wedding set had been obscenely large. That was until Mark proposed. Now, Addison sported a diamond that would have made Jennifer Lopez jealous. Meredith remembered exactly what she had said to Addison when she had showed her the ring.
" Jesus, Addison. Don't fall in the water with that thing on. You'll go straight to the bottom. "
Addison smirked.
" Laugh now, Grey. You're going to learn very quickly that Mark and Derek compete in everything. You think this thing is obscene? You just wait until Derek pops the question. This ring? Five and a half carats. I expect Derek will buy nothing under six. So as I said, laugh now ," Addison handed Meredith a chart as she walked away.
Meredith tried not to let her stomach flutter at the thought of Derek proposing.
" Dr. Grey , " she heard a voice call from behind her and she turned to see Mark jogging towards her.
" Dr. Sloan, " she acknowledged. It felt weird they called each other by their last names seeing as how he was Mark to her and she was Meredith to him, but in their group, they tried to maintain as much professionalism as possible.
" I need you for a facial reconstruction. Kid was mauled by a pit bull. Poor girl's face is split in five different spots. You up for it , " he asked.
" Absolutely. I just have to take these lab results to Dr. Shepherd, " Meredith smiled half heartedly.
" Alright, tell Addie I said hey, " Mark called over his shoulder as he walked off.
Even though she and Derek were divorced, Addison was still Dr. Montgomary-Shepherd. All of her medical licenses were under that particular name and it just seemed stupid that she would have to go through and change all of it. Outside of the hospital, she was Addison Montgomary-Sloan. Just like Meredith was Meredith Grey at work, but to everyone else, she was Meredith Grey-Shepherd.
At least the betting had stopped. When she and Derek had first gotten engaged, people had began betting on if they would even make it to the altar. She grinned when she thought of who won. Addison and Mark had raised the pot to like five grand. Then, they gave Derek and Meredith their winnings as a wedding present.
She had thought after they were married, things would die down. However, she was wrong. Now she had to get surgeries because she was Derek Shepherd's wife and they had to give her something to do. What could she do though? Complain? No, she would take her licks in this hospital before she'd ever let Derek think she resented him. Besides, how does one bring up that conversation?
Meredith had been well aware of the potential consequences of her relationship with Derek from the beginning. She remembered Bailey's speech about people wouldn't want to work with her or talk to her. That much was true. Callie hated her more than ever Burke and Derek were friends, so Meredith assumed that was the only reason that she ever got to scrub in with him. Cristina didn't like that too much. However, Derek was always letting Cristina scrub in with him, so either way the deal looked horribly obvious.
Izzie hadn't talked to anyone except for Alex in quite some time. She had moved out and into Alex's. George and Callie had gotten their own place after Meredith told George she would not stand to be insulted by that woman in her own house. So ironically, it was now her and Derek, and Addison and Mark. Derek and Meredith were only there until their house was complete. Then, the house would belong to the Sloan's. Addison couldn't bear to let Meredith sell her mom's house and let's face it, living in Ellis Grey's old house, Addison just couldn't say no.
It was definitely an interesting situation. The first thing Meredith had done when they had moved in was to soundproof the walls. She knew she and her husband were less than quiet, but she didn't even want to think about what it would be like if they were to hear Mark and Addie having sex.
So breakfast time was always fun in the Grey household. Mark and Derek bickered over sports and Meredith and Addison went straight for the sale papers. Addison had even told Meredith that she liked Seattle now, so they spent all their free time combing the small obscure stores that were Seattle's best kept secrets. The men...well Derek was teaching Mark to fly fish, which was always hilarious to watch. All that medical school and Mark still couldn't figure out to bait a hook. He always made such a fuss over touching the worms.
Still, it was on these shopping trips that she and Addison would share her feelings on the hospital. Addie always had tried to clear up rumors as best she could, but that only made the situation worse. The ex wife covering for the new wife? Oh no, people just thought Addison was a better person than she was and that made Meredith more evil in their eyes. She often wondered why people weren't angry at Addison for moving on, but seemed to be so hell bent on hating her and Derek. She had asked Callie once and she could still feel the sting from the response.
" Because, unlike you, Addison has more class than to have sex in an exam room with her married ex-boyfriend ."
Yes, that was true. She and Derek had exercised some very judgment. Actually they hadn't exercised any judgment.
She had told herself years ago that she would never put herself in a position where something was more important to her than her work. Now, she was facing the fact that she couldn't do it. She couldn't make work more important than Derek. She wouldn't. If she did, she'd end up old and lonely like her mother.
Pretending to ignore the whispers was a lot easier to do when she looked down at the seven carat diamond on her hand and remembering that she was married to Derek Shepherd.
With that thought firmly embedded in her head, she dropped off the labs for Addison and headed down the hall towards the elevator. The doors opened and leaning against the wall was her husband, who was grinning boyishly at her and she stepped in.
Pretending really wasn't all that hard.