Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, the moon would be made of cheese. (I hate cheese by the way.)
Big Q: You're doing pretty good in this fanfic.
Psyche: Considering that she has more than two reviews.
Me: T.T Why must you guys be so cruel to me?
Big Q: Oh, I'm not cruel. I'm just being nice to idiots.
Me: T.T That's cold!
Psyche: (looks around) What's cold? It's July!
Big Q: Yes, dear, it's July. -- This is what I mean when I said I'm just being nice to idiots…
Psyche: Hey!
Mucho thankies to those that reviewed!
KiT: Thank you, KiT, for reviewing all my chapters so far and for continuing to review the rest of the chapters! (At least until the story ends!) Thankies mucho for your support!
sangohieirock: Dude, I totally agree with your name. The best crossover couple there is SangoHiei. Nobody can top them. NOBODY. (turns to KuramaSango pairings) YOU HEAR THAT! NOBODY!)
Anyway, a quick summary of the story! It was a fucking-hot-like-hell day and Sango was at Starbucks getting a cup of coffee. (Why else would she be there? Getting a cup of sugar for her grandma? That didn't' make sense…) Suddenly, this little Chinese kid drank half of the damn STEAMING liquid and somehow got Sango to go on a blind date with her "friend that looks like a loser without a girl." Flarenii, the girl, left before Sango could choke her and scream: "NO, THANK YOU! I'M STILL HOOKED OVER MY DEAD BOYFRIEND!" Sango met Shippo at the park and Shippo told her that she should go and "make some new friends." Arriving at Joming Dragon House, where her blind date was waiting, she bumped into the last person she thought she would meet, her neighbor across the hall: Itachio Jaamaru. Here's the twist: he's her blind date.
Whew! That was one quick summary. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 4: Bump
"Fuck, quit acting like such a big baby. It ain't that bad." A young Chinese girl said handing her older friend an ice pack with an almost-apologetic look. Almost is never enough. Twenty percent of her face read, "HAHA! You have got to be the world's number one foobar!" While the other eighty percent read, "Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Did you see the way she threw that sucker?"
A mumbled reply came from her friend, who let's just say has the entire left side of his face bigger than his right.
"Talk normal, dammit!" Flarenii yelled swinging a hit at the swollen side of his face. When a yelp greeted her, she pulled her hand back. "Oops, sorry, man. Fergot."
"Oww….T.T She's never going to look at me again." Poor little Itachio said, holding the ice pack to his face.
Flarenii sighed and dropped onto the sofa, crossing her arms across the chest. "Damn, your couch is way more comfy." The pair were at the feisty Flarenii's home in her living room. "Though I can't exactly say it was all your fault."
Itachio sighed as well. For a minute the two friends stayed quiet. "Did I really upset her that much."
Flarenii nodded, slouching a little more in the sofa. "Yep, that look on her face when she threw that punch. It was like you walking into her giving MJ a lap dance."
Itachio frowned in disgust. "Your brain's always in the gutter isn't it. Why would Sango be giving Michael Jackson a lap dance." He tried to glare at his young friend without causing too much pain to the left side of his face. "And she didn't punch me. It was more of a slap."
Flarenii snorted. "What's the difference? They both make you look like an ass, don't it?"
The young man slouched in his seat and reached for his tea cup on the coffee table between them. After taking a sip, Itachio seemed lost in thought.
Flarenii gave a fake gasp. "Oh. My. Lord. An ape is trying to think!"
Her little sarcastic outburst caused Itachio to glare at Flarenii before he turned to her, a question on his tongue. "What I don't understand is why she got all upset."
Flarenii stifled a yawn. "Who knows? Maybe she thought you were looking in her purse to see what kind of tampons she uses."
Itachio threw a pillow at the unsuspecting girl's face. "Just for the record, I wasn't. Maybe she uses maxi pads."
"And you say my brain is in the gutter?" The less-than-happy girl replied, throwing the pillow back at him. She threw her head back and growled in frustration. "And the date was going so well too!" She turned her gaze back at Itachio. "And you just had to fucken screw it up didn't you?"
"It's not like it's my fault." The bored voice was getting a tint of irritation in them. Why wouldn't it? It was only reasonable after getting stuck with a bratty little whiny girl that kept on berating him, insulting him, and even once kicking him, for a screwing up some silly little blind date with his neighbor.
"Maybe all that gel and cologne for the ladies are getting to your brain, fuzzhead." Flarenii retorted.
"Brat."
"Ass."
"He-she."
"Homo."
"Discrimination."
"Good Samaritan. And I got nothing against homosexuals. You're just an insult to them."
"Stick."
"Suck-dick little cock bastard."
"Cock bastard?"
"Yeah, what's wrong with a healthy little cock bastard? I hear the rest of the population is missing you."
"Anorexic little dog-monkey."
"That's it, you little son of a bitch!" Flarenii sprung from the sofa and tackled Itachio with an "Omph!"
"Watch it. Hey, I'm an injured civilian." Itachio said, trying to get the rabid little girl off of him. (A/N: That didn't sound right…)
"You fucken tofu! BalllickinglittlesonuvabitchthatfuckenissoannoyingthatIjustfucken&()&$#$&&(&(&(&($$&&&&()(()(+)+(()&&$$$#$#!#!#$#$$&&&$#$&&(&&$$#$$$&(&$$&&&&&$$." The rest of her insults were muffled as Itachio stuffed a nearby teddy bear in her mouth.
When Flarenii finally removed the furry object from her mouth, she chucked her saliva covered toy back at him. "I coulda suffocated! You jerkass!"
Itachio ducked, the drool-dripping teddy bear flying harmlessly over his head. "Woulda done the world a huge favor."
Flarenii took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay, okay. Calm down. Woooooooooooooooooooosaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh……….." After a minute, Flarenii glared at him. "Just be glad Sango didn't kick you in the balls."
"What."
Flarenii gave him her brace-filled smile. "I told her that if she wasn't satisfied then she could kick you in the balls, guaranteed. But I guess she was too pissed to kick."
Itachio looked down at his friend in disbelief. "You told her that. What do I look like, some kind of your-money-back-guarantee thing."
"Exactly." The same piss-making smile.
Itachio sighed and really slumped into the sofa covering his eyes with his hand, the ice pack dripping away in his other hand.
Flarenii seated herself on the arm of the sofa next to him, her voice somewhat serious. "I think the reason that Sango was majorly pissed at you was…her period."
Itachio took a minute to give his friend a your-impossible glare. "Pft."
"Hey, it could happen." Flarenii said, shrugging. "I think it had to do with that guy she was talking about."
From the look that he gave her, it seemed that he didn't believe her. Itachio turned away.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!" Flarenii grabbed a fist-full of his silver-blue hair and turned him to face her. Her voice was dead serious. "I'm not cracking or anything. I think you really hurt her when you made an ass of yourself by making that stupid crack joke about the guy she was talking about."
Itachio yanked her fingers out of his hair. Massaging his scalp a little, Itachio thought back to the events that happened an hour ago.
Flarenii's smile slid off her face like butter. "Or not."
Sango shook her head, and she almost looked like she rolled her eyes when she tooked a menu and began looking through the entrees.
Itachio just sat there, ignoring the looks that read I-bet-you're-going-to-screw-up-on-the-datefrom Flarenii.
Sango's eyes appeared over the edge of the menu. "Aren't you going to look at the menu?"
"I'll eat whatever you eat." Itachio said, shrugging.
It was either Flarenii's imagination or she was just plain crazy. She could have swore she saw Sango's eyes softening a little. The Cupidina shook it off as her going plain crazy.
After the food arrived, carried over to their table by a very, very, very stressed Laramie, the two sat by themselves to stare at the food. Flarenii had shooed Laramie the away the minute the food touched the table. "They need some time ALONE."
Sango sat with her hands on her lap under the table; she looked across the table at Itachio. "Aren't you going to eat?"
Itachio just gave a Prince Charming smile. "Oh, but ladies first. I wouldn't be a gentleman if I dug in myself."
So far so good. Even though she insisted the couple needed some privacy, Flarenii was peeping in on the couple above the low wall.
Sango almost smiled when she helped herself to the noodles on the House Pan Fried Noodle Sizzling Plate. (A/N: Sheesh, long name for a small dish.)
During the whole dinner, the two had a mildly interesting conversation. Because of the noise of the other customers, Flarenii only managed to hear parts of it.
"Do you have any younger er older siblings."
Sango played around with the slice of carrot left on her plate. "Yes, one. I have a little brother named Kohaku. He just got into 8th grade."
Itachio smiled, it was somewhat strained and almost sad. "I have a little sister too. I bet that she's nowhere as energetic as your little brother."
Sango looked at him strangely.
That ended the conversation. No matter how hard she strained to listen, Flarenii couldn't hear any more. Twice she almost tripped Laramie, who was carrying a large platter with dishes, when she was crouching down trying to hear better. Five times she was yelled at by her mother to get to work.
After dinner, Itachio asked if she wanted to go for a late stroll in the park. A pained look flashed across Sango, but it evaporated in an instant. With a nod, the two walked towards the park, relatively close.
Flarenii had gotten permission to skip, Laramie downright protested. Extra work on an already stressed high school teen was enough to make her faint. While the two walked together in front, Flarenii followed, not bothering to keep quiet since they both knew she was with them.
They got some hoots from a group of drunk juniors out late. The wolf calls and laughing stopped when Itachio glared, Sango glared harder, and Flarenii pulled a Smith & Wesson out of nowhere. They had know idea it was real, but not loaded. The group shuffled off faster than you could shout, "Fuck you!" after them.
Okay, this was where it gone bad.
"Hey, you wanna sit on the swing. I'll push you if you want." Itachio said, walking over towards the sets of swings.
"I'm not a kid." Sango replied softly, but nevertheless, still followed him and sat down on the swing. As soon as Itachio began to push her softly, waves of memories began again to crash down upon Sango. She was sitting on this very same swing, on her very first date with Miroku. Except, he was the one that was pushing her, not Itachio.
Sitting on the slide not far away, Flarenii pulled her digital camera out of her small side bag and took a shot. "Now don't they look cute together." the twelve-year-old muttered before her face broke into a grin. "Can't wait to blackmail them with this."
Suddenly, Sango spoke up. "This reminds me of another night a couple years ago." Why was she talking like this? She never talked about Miroku after the incident. So why was she now? And with a complete stranger. But he wasn't a stranger. He was Itachio, her neighbor. Did she really know anything about him? She knows he has a little sister. That doesn't count asmuch…
"How does it." Itachio continued pushing the swing each time it swung back.
"Back, then Miroku used to push me…" Sango broke off into silence.
"Who's Miroku. An old lover." Itachio said, chuckling. I mean, come on. It was a joke.
Sango tensed and turned around. Itachio expected her to turn around, laugh, and deny it like most girls do. Instead, he saw burning brown eyes filled with pain and anguish. Tears ran down her beautiful face as her anger filled eyes turned red.
WHAM!
A right hooker straight in the face. Flarenii winced and muttered, "That had to hurt…" All the while she looked like she could care less and continued recording on her camera.
"Miroku's not a past lover. I still do love him!" Sango shouted, her voice coarse,to Itachio's stunned and half red face. Tears fell down freely, with a sob, she turned and ran. Ran and ran, away from him and away from those awful memories.
Itachio reached a hand out to her. To apologize, to call her name. But he didn't exist anymore. Not to her anymore. Then she was gone.
Flarenii stood next to him shaking her head in disappointment. "Answer me this: How many idiots does it take to make their blind date run away in tears?"
Itachio didn't answer, he looked at where Sango was running. That same image running through his head over and over again. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings, honestly. Crack joke, turn, wham, shout, and run away. Hey, wasn't that a hit-and-run?
"One stupid idiot named Itachio. Good job." Flarenii said shaking her head and walked away.
"You could try apologizing." Flarenii spoke up. "But then again, she just might punch you again."
Itacho sighed and leaned back in the sofa. I'm sorry, Sango.
Back in her apartment, Sango sat on her bed hugging her knees to her. Tears still spilling uncontrollably down her face. Kirara meowed and stayed at her mistress's side. She was loyal to Sango. She would stay with her forever.
Sango's shoulder shook from the racking sobs. She lifted her head a little to look at the picture on her lamp stand. Miroku… She broke into a fresh river of tears.
Flarenii sat on the window sill in her room, hugging a knee to her while her other leg dangled on the side.
Itachio walked down the street gloomly with his hands in his pockets, he stopped to look up at the stars.
Stupid Itachio.
End Chapter 4
So how was this one, you guys? Good? Fair? Downright stupid? Just to let you know, Flarenii doesn't go around shooting people with that Smith & Wesson of hers. As for why she even carries one around, I explain in a later chapter. Please review! (Flames welcome.)