Title: Lily by The Zazu
Rating: T
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter series belongs to J.K. Rowling. The wonderful movie Hum Tum belongs to Yash Raj Films.
Timeline/Series: James Potter Timeline; Alternate Universe (AU)
Author's Note: Thank you, reviewers, for being so gracious to me! I hope you all have been having a brilliant summer. I am still debating whether or not to continue following Hum Tum closely, but I suppose I will cross that bridge after this chapter. Enjoy!

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Chapter Two: Battle of the Sexes

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La Guardia International Airport, New York

"Finally, oh finally!" James Potter exclaimed exuberantly, rushing out of the plane and into the airport with the fervour of a child at Christmas. A carefree grin spread across his face as he headed towards the luggage claim, carry-on slung over his shoulder. He needed to make sure his baggage was transferred to the next connection. James glanced out the window. His grin became even broader. "Look at that view! Seen anything like that, Lils?"

"Lils?" a look of disgust passed over Lily Evans' features as she tried to walk faster. The young woman sent a withering stare in James' direction, in order to emphasize her annoyance. "Don't call me that. I do have a name," Lily said with a snort. "And the view is rather nice," she admitted a bit reluctantly, moments later. Why was she still talking to this… person?

"Lils is quite a nice nickname. Your mum calls you something like that too, doesn't she?" James said teasingly. "Don't see why you would be so bothered." He purposely ignored Lily's pointed glare. It was the first time James had travelled across the Atlantic and he was positively bouncing off the walls. "We have a few hour lay-over here, you know," he added rather informatively. "Care to see the sights with me, Miss Lily Marianna Evans?" At this point, James bowed grandly and winked at her good-naturedly, although earning a few stares from the other passengers disembarking.

Lily tried not to look interested as she continued to stride purposefully down the terminal. "A few hours, really?" was her noncommittal response. She opened her mouth to add something but stopped quickly, eyes narrowing. "How did you know my middle name? I don't recall telling you such a thing. Actually, I hardly even recall speaking with you on the flight or meeting you previously."

"Ah, well, that's what you think!" James waggled his eyebrows comically. "Well, I admit that you have some interesting things in your handbag there. And you have a rather nice passport photo. It might be even better than mine, actually," he added with some thought.

An angry blush flooded the young woman's pale cheeks as she stared at what seemed the most despicable man on earth. "H-How… W-Why…" Lily stepped to the side of the corridor to take a moment to gather her thoughts. "That is the rudest thing I have ever heard! You have no right to rifle through a women's handbag. I can take you to court for this kind of thing, you know." Her nostrils flared slightly in indignation and anger, a bit like a bull before charging.

"You can check to see if anything is missing." James tilted his head to the side, regarding her anger with a slight smile. Lily's reaction reminded him quite of Narcissa… He quickly shook his head before deciding to up his current level of charisma. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, alright? Now, do you want to join me? It will be lots of fun," he wheedled.

Lily twirled a strand of hair and stared at James reproachfully. "After what you did?" James gave her his most winning look. The girl sighed, hiked up her handbag to a more comfortable position on her shoulder. "Fine…" The trip would be boring alone, she admitted to herself.

She only hoped that she didn't regret her decision.

-

Whistling merrily, James hopped onto the bus, quickly paying for their fares. "This is going to be some great fun, Lils," he commented brightly, sliding into a seat. Lily grudgingly slid in after him. Noticing her reluctance, James rolled his eyes. "Hey, if you didn't want to come with me, you shouldn't have."

"Hmph."

"Fine, you be like that. Don't have fun." James looked out the window, watching the scenery whirl by. "Eh, busy place. A bit like London, don't you think? A wonderful place to start our story." The young man continued to look out the window, a slight frown appearing on his features. The last time he had said that was the first time he had met Narcissa Black. James shook his head. This was getting strange.

Lily interrupted his thoughts with a question. "A story?" She sounded rather dubious.

James affirmed the statement with a nod of his head and surprised himself as he continued, "Yes. A story. Everyone has their own story, a story of their life. When two people meet, their stories cross and another story starts. It's really simple, if you think about it."

"What if they never see each other again?"

He ruffled his already tousled hair comically and smiled wisely before replying, "They always will, somehow. Life is too long and this world is too small for it not to happen."

"Potter, that has to be the first intelligent statement I have heard from you all day. Are you feeling alright?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow. Maybe James Potter wasn't as much of a prat as she had once believed. "Potter! This is our stop." Lily jumped to her feet and nearly flew off the bus. James followed, looking rather amused.

Lily fished out a map from her purse. "Okay, Potter, first we should visit a museum. I've heard so much about some of the ones here, you know. They say that they are just fabulous. It will be rather interesting!"

James grimaced. "A museum? Lils, museums are dull, don't you know?" James Harold Potter did not want to step into a dull museum for the duration of his stay in New York. There was no denying that James could be intelligent, but he certainly didn't want to appear as a geek. In addition to marring his self-proclaimed image of "cool," it would most definitely send women in the other direction. Unless… Maybe women enjoyed the Informative, Intelligent Man? This would take some consideration…

"We're going. I have the map. We can do whatever you want later, sound good?" Lily responded, grabbing his arm none too gently. She proceeded to pull the still thoughtful James in the direction of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. "This will be good for you, I promise." The redhead paused a moment in front of the stairs. "The architecture is just beautiful!"

James couldn't help but smile as he realised that they were at the museum of art. Lily hadn't known that James was attending a school of fine arts in California. 'This might actually be fun,' James thought idly. He shrugged slightly, and followed Lily up the steps.

-

After a few hours – in which he admittedly enjoyed himself – James had extricated Lily from the museum's newest exhibit and to Central Park. "That cabbie must have gypped us, I swear!" James complained as he strolled leisurely down the pathway. The sunlight was now beginning to fade, leaving artistic streaks of orange, red, and purple on its canvas, the sky.

"Don't swear," Lily reprimanded absent-mindedly. She was absorbed in her surroundings.

He paid no heed to the comment, raising his eyebrows and letting out a low whistle at the women jogging by. "That's more like it…"

The slim woman shook her head with a sigh. "One could almost believe that you have X-ray vision and were almost… mentally undressing them!" Lily sounded a bit disgusted at James' very male tendencies.

"Who said I wasn't doing such a thing?" James chuckled. He sent a sideways glance towards Lily. He couldn't help but admire her slim profile, her red hair, her green eyes. Lily's personality was a bit magnetic as well. Intelligent with a gingery temperament. 'So much like 'Cissa.' James pushed away the thought as it came to him. "I am sure you'll be catching the eye of many blokes at your university, personally," he added, thinking it would soothe her ruffled feathers. It actually had the opposite effect.

"Why do you insist on flirting with every woman you see? Not everyone adores you, James. I thought you weren't a prat for a little while, not like other guys, but there you go, changing my mind. Doing what you do isn't respectful, even though it may be fun for you. Grow up, James." Lily sounded more indignant than mad. She turned on her heel, beginning to walk away. She kind of wanted to see how he would react.

James merely stuck his hands in to the pockets of his black slacks and sighed, as if the weight of the world was placed upon his shoulders. "Why can't girls be more like guys?" he mused. "Whenever we give them a compliment, they think we fancy them. That's one reason you can't be friends with any woman except your mum… Women always think it's love." He voice was becoming more exasperated. "Blast it, all girls are just off their rockers. All the same, I swear…" James sent a pointed look at Lily's back. With a roll of his eyes, he tousled his hair artistically and began to walk away in the opposite direction. He would have fun himself.

"Oh, really?"

The sudden, incredulous statement was enough to stop James in his tracks. He whirled around and nodded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Yes, really. I mean, girls think too much, understand too little. They think they know everything about men, when they hardly have scratched the surface! Girls say one thing, mean the other. Then they blame men for their mistakes saying 'men just don't understand.' Speaking in circles does no good… Have something to say? Say it." James was gaining momentum in his response. An impish twinkle had entered his eyes.

"She says she is in love with you, but she wants you to make the first move in the relationship. Frankly, I thought women were supposed to be independent these days. If I recall correctly, they wanted to be accepted into society as businesswomen, doctors, etcetera, and not just housewives. So why can't girls make the first move? Blokes can be shy too." James was thinking of Remus at this point.

"Well, you know–"

James merely grinned at her and held up a hand. "Hold on there, darling. Let the master finish. Hm, now where was I, Lils?"

His amiable attitude was only met with an acidic glare. Lily was getting a bit irritated at his tirade, even though… even though it was somewhat true. "Please don't call me Lils," she said wearily. That was a useless battle, as James probably wouldn't stop calling her that. "You were at how girls don't make the first move. Do continue, Potter." Although it was infuriating, Potter's thought process certainly was intriguing.

James raised an eyebrow, a bit surprised. Narcissa would always let him continue his explanation before putting her own foot down. Hard. "Thank you for your assistance, Lils," he said with a gracious, humorous bow. "Girls are always tangled up in themselves, but the only thing they are worried about untangling is there hair." James snorted. "And women say the strangest things sometimes. 'I know we're good friends, but… I never have looked at you that way.' One day she'll say you're the best thing that ever happened to her; the day after, you're delegated back to Average Joe. It's really aggravating, Lils…" James ruffled his hair with a sigh, beginning to walk absent-mindedly. It felt good to express his thoughts, with no one interrupting. Yet. "You are a very good listener, Lils," he commented idly, stopping in front of an ice cream stand. "One chocolate and…"

"Strawberry. Thanks, by the way."

"Not a problem, Lily dearest. And one strawberry, please," James finished, fishing out his wallet and extracting a few dollars. Thank goodness he remembered to exchange his money at the airport. "Here you go!" he exclaimed, handing over Lily's ice cream while licking his own. "Mmmm. I love chocolate." Lily rolled her eyes at his childishness.

"Okay, as I was saying... Girls say many offending things. 'Oh my god, what kind of shirt is that! What kind of haircut have you gotten?' or 'You drive too fast dear; why are you always in a hurry?' Usually, the girl bought the shirt, suggested the haircut, or nagged the man to get there quickly. Sometimes I believe they complain because they can. Rather strange policy, eh?" He paused to lick his ice cream and sit down on a bench, also motioning for Lily to sit down. "You see, girls only approach you to change you... for the worst! She devises schemes to destroy, makes you laugh, and makes you angry. This is why birds should be more like blokes."

"Get up. We're walking," Lily said sharply. "My turn to talk." James only shrugged and stood up with a smile. She continued, "Hey, if you guys are so happy on your own, why do you fancy women?" James only stared at her oddly. Lily sighed exasperatedly. "I didn't imply you should like men. I meant, that why do you bother pursuing women? Why do you buy her thousands of gifts? Why do you present her with a big bouquet of roses? All this to win women who will only infuriate you? And if you ask me, men have terrible pick up lines. 'You didn't tell me your name... Want to go out for some coffee?' How about, 'Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?' Honestly, it's quite silly!" Lily stopped and munched on her ice cream cone.

"Are you done?"

"Just getting started, sorry!" Lily replied, not sounding sorry at all. "Men lead a disordered, meaningless, and wasted life; you put your hand on your heart and swear you're different every single time. A wet towel on the floor, the toothpaste cap tossed aside carelessly, wearing yesterday's socks inside out regardless of the time... what kind of life is that? A woman teaches you how to live. A girl changes you from a beast," Lily acted like a monkey, "to a man." A small smile touched her lips. "You know you wouldn't last a second without her. And she knows you'll never be able to admit it. That's why girls aren't likes boys." Lily smirked, thinking she had finally shut James up.

At this point, James had the grace to interrupt. "Women have this obsession with dates. Even when there isn't love, she remembers the dates." James fluttered his eyelashes demurely at the girl. He began once more, this time in a falsetto. "Our eyes met on the first of March. On the fourth of April, I came to meet you. The eighth of May, we held hands. On sixth June... well you know what happened." He once again batted his eyelashes and winked as Lily shoved him. "Oooh, I'm wounded," he muttered.

"What does it matter to boys? They go with the flow anyway!" she snapped. Lily made her voice deeper. "Your mom and dad aren't home? Can I come over? Your friend is going home alone? Should I drop her off? Ugh... When we get tired, that's when they console us. But when they are shy, they run off. At least when a girl says 'yes,' she stands by it!"

"Lils, dear, why are we fighting over this?"

"You started it, James Potter. At first, they never let you go anywhere alone. Then they say they are busy and avoid you. Please understand darling, I have a lot of work today," she mimicked.

"Erm, hullo, can you at least listen to me?"

"So what if I'm far away? Your name is still written on my heart," Lily continued to mimic, blatantly ignoring James' pleas. "Suddenly, the face they were so crazy about becomes boring. After another couple days, their eyes start wandering."

"Lily!" James really didn't want to fight.

"You know, life doesn't run on love alone!"

"That's exactly what I said, didn't I?" James commented, frowning slightly. "Or something like that."

"Why do men have to be so stupid about things like this? Can't they understand women go through a lot too? Have you ever had a period? I hardly would think so. Men are the deceiving ones. They could be cheating on you without your knowledge."

The red hair seemed to transform into a silvery blonde for a moment. The startling green eyes to a vivid ice blue. James felt like he was transferred into a similar situation from a few years ago, when he first met Narcissa Black. 'A little less snappy, though,' he mused. James mirrored his reaction from the past.

"Okay, that's it," he murmured.

James faced Lily and roughly pressed his lips to her own. A chill went down Lily's spine at the abrupt embrace. Even though Lily was too shocked to respond to the kiss, James was satisfied. After all, she was quiet now. The girl blushed brightly, bringing a hand to touch her lips. The young man then froze internally, the full realization of his actions dawning on him. This was Lily Evans, not Narcissa Black. What came next was purely Lily and not anyone else.

Lily had brought back her hand and solidly connected with James' jaw. He stumbled back, feeling rather surprised. This wasn't quite the reprimand the young man was expecting.

"You are just sick."

And she walked away.

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Author's Note: I've tried to make this chapter smoother… is it alright? I do realize it is a bit choppy in a few places, but I really I am trying. Ah, yes, a bit clichéd, I supposed, but life is life. :D Reviews are lovely, if you all wish to bestow a few.