"Don't!" Souji squeaked, narrowly missing the black blade of death. It brushed his upper cheek and carved a pattern near his ear.
"Would you hold still? Even a baby could hold still long enough to put on some mascara." Susumu growled, making a grab for the back of his outfit. The material wasn't nearly as slippery as Souji. He made a fist and shook, using his height against Souji. "You asked me to do this for you, so don't bitch about it now."
"I'm going to be late for the first date." Souji pointed out soulfully.
"So? You're the woman; you're supposed to be at least fifteen minutes late, preferably a half hour. Do you want him to think there's something wrong with you?" Susumu chided. This time he was smart enough to grab a fist full of hair rather than the back of Souji's blouse. With a non-too-gentle tug, he landed the smaller guy on the bed with a thump.
Souji crossed his arms and submitted to the torment being dished out. He was tired of being poked and prodded, but it was better than going out looking like he escaped from the loony bin or some sort of traveling circus.
Besides, he reminded himself, it was very kind of Susumu to take the time to humor this odd request. Well, it wasn't like Susumu had much of a choice. Somehow, he seemed to think that Souji would go on the date and then say bye-bye to Hijikata forever or something like that. It was touching how he seemed to think it would be that easy.
Anyway, a quick phone call verified that the trio would be rolling in late afternoon, so he would have a few hours at least. He had made sure to give Nagakura explicit instructs as well as to leave a key against the door jam up top, just like he used to. It was amazing the trouble they would get in, and even more amazing that Kondou's mother didn't throw them out more often.
"Now, your eyebrows." Susumu said, deadpan, holding a gleaming pair of tweezers. They clicked meaningfully in his slender, well-manicured nails, chirping promises of pain.
"No-oh, I never agreed…"
"Well, you don't have a unibrow… yet… However, a few plucks should shape them into a nicer curve to accept your feminine face. If I just take a few here…" Pluck, slash, rip, "… And this straggler here…" Yank. "Then you're all set. Done."
"Ouch!"
"Buki!" Saizou squealed in outrage at the perceived assault and bit Susumu's foot: hard. Souji forgot all about his pain as he rolled off the bed because he was laughing so hard at his friend and pet.
When he caught his breath again, he asked while wiping away some offending, smeared mascara, "Am I done now? I'm certainly late enough!"
"Okita!" Susumu shook his head silently. With a vicious, short-tempered yank, he pulled up the long, violet hair into a perfect high ponytail. With a twist, he clipped it into place with the bangs pushed to the side and tamed, again. There was another hairclip that would find its way into the sewer system. "There. You're done, you wretch. At least your blush and base survived, and I don't have time to redo your eyes."
Souji grinned widely, stifling the urge to hug the irked cross-dresser. It wasn't very smart to harass someone who had just done you a huge favor, even if it was way too much fun.
"Here."
A pair of innocent white, leather sandals sat in the younger man's palms. He looked away as he offered them.
"For me? Wouldn't you call this encouragement? I thought you were trying to stop me!" Souji giggled, before stopping himself. He was getting too much into the part of some vapid teenage girl with a hot crush.
"It wouldn't do much good if you tripped and broke your neck." Susumu snapped, turning bright red. It was obvious he wasn't much of a gift-giver. "You suck at walking in heels. Really, who would have thought you did kendo with that kind of balance?"
Souji wasn't sure he wanted to know how Susumu knew his exact shoe size… in women's shoes.
"Well thank you! You have good taste."
That bit of flattery simply got a huff before the other man slipped out the window.
"Mou, why can't he use the door?" Souji complained, going for the door himself. He made sure that Saizou had food and water and a scratch before closing his apartment door. The lock was old and rickety, much like the apartment itself, so he had to do a little jiggle dance to get it to click into place. Then the challenge was to get the key out of the door without snapping it. He and the locksmith were good friends after the first week of him moving in.
Souji readjusted his toes and gingerly tried the shoes on. Pleasantly surprised, he took a larger, more confident step. Susumu knew of his dislike for things that pinched and must have chosen them especially with that in mind.
He got about half a block when a sleek, black VW Beetle slid up to the curb. Glancing over, he was startled to see his friend's head sticking out the vintage windows. Blinking in surprise, he broke into a grin, admiring the restored car's grace and beauty.
"Nice ride. You're not going to try and pick me up, are you?"
"Just get in. You can't walk down to the café; you'll ruin your gift." Susumu grunted, pointing to the overcast sky.
Souji jumped in, admiring the black leather and the retro-looking radio.
With an easy flick, Susumu moved the car into first and pulled out into the street. It didn't exactly purr like you'd expect, but the engine gave a steady hum.
"So this is your funded little project." Souji remarked, running a hand over the leather. "Nice. Much better than Meth."
"I don't know about that." Susumu mumbled, "But I like it."
"Me too."
"Great. Now get out. You're late." Susumu replied, pulling up to the café's curb and shifting into neutral. He clicked on the emergency brake and looked straight ahead. Souji rolled his eyes, "And who told me it was fashionable to be late?" Susumu didn't rise to the bait so Souji jumped out, grateful for the flats. He flashed an irrepressible smile at his friend and peered through the café glass. Hijikata was sitting there, looking irritable and nursing a cup of coffee.
Souji had no trouble sneaking in and quietly settling in the chair. It didn't escape his notice that the trio was noisily harassing a waitress and eating their lunch just a table over. He half hoped they would notice him. That could be fun. It wasn't often the trio were the ones being harassed, but Souji could do it.
Hijikata didn't acknowledge his arrival, merely flipped the page of the paper he was reading.
It took five minutes for Souji to start fidgeting around in the narrow chair. The pants Susumu had chosen for him, specifically picked for the ability to hide a certain thing, pinched lightly across his calves. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to sitting cross-legged like this. It seemed to mean that his foot went to sleep, which made it difficult to kick around under the table, as was his usual habit.
Hijikata, for his part, seemed content enough to stir his hot, black coffee and enjoy Souji's uncharacteristic silence. It seemed, when taken out of the art of wooing and bedding, the handsome man was at a bit of a loss. Apparently he believed that leading conversation and being polite in public was for the woman to do. Too bad Souji had no idea how to do it either, even after being coached by an exasperated Susumu. Instead, he did whatever he felt might be entertaining.
"So, your…" He paused, wanting to say club, but deciding against it, "Business is doing well?"
Nod.
"And Susumu is a good employee? Because that boy can be a handful." Souji continued, eyeing his reaction.
Nod.
"Are you listening to me or having a private conversation with your coffee?" Souji demanded, hiding the smile curling around his mouth. It was the exact same tone and phrase his foster mother tended to use on him if he looked to be paying less attention than she demanded. "I can't believe you would find coffee more interesting than your date!"
Stir and gulp. "I am listening."
Sure he was.
"So, any good sex lately?" Souji asked slyly, dropping his voice to a conspiring whisper.
Hijikata sputtered and choked on his hot coffee. When he finally got himself under control, he gave a dark, hateful glare and hissed, "That is none of your business."
Souji pouted, "So you listen to me when I talk about other women huh? How typical! You men are all the same, listening with only one part of your body."
The look on Hijikata's face spoke volumes. Oh yes, he was highly offended by being verbally attacked in public.
Somehow, the trio had remained amazingly silent throughout this exchange, although some of the other patrons of the tiny restaurant had either left or moved away from the pair of them, casting bewildered and annoyed glances over.
"Can't you guys keep it quiet?" Toudou muttered under his breath. Either he hadn't recognized Souji or he was just really hungry and just didn't care to have his meal interrupted. Cranky, cranky! "This is a public restaurant. People are trying to have lunch here."
Harada, for the most part, was ignoring his friend and inhaling the food set before him. Souji pointed to the big man and commented with a friendly smile, "Your friend doesn't seem to be having many problems. Maybe you're just too sensitive."
Toudou turned bright red, puzzling out his comment, while Nagakura laughed. Sano looked up, feeling he was missing something, and asked a slurred 'what' spraying food over his two friends. Nagakura half-turned to get a better look at the couple behind him and Souji wanted to laugh at his face. Eyes wide and mouth slightly open, he heeded Souji's finger to the lips.
"Hey, I'll have you know, I've been on the road all day. I haven't done anything to deserve being attacked by some broad in the middle of my lunch… oh my God." Toudou's face mirrored Nagakura's and his friend had to clamp a hand over his mouth.
Hijikata glared at the pair of them, probably sensing he was missing something between them, but not sure exactly what it was.
"Well, why don't you make it better by making a new friend?" Souji suggested with a pert look. Somehow he knew he was pushing some buttons, even though Hijikata's face was blank.
"Or not so new." Toudou muttered, still giving side glances at Souji's outfit.
"Oh no, sillies, I meant my date, Hijikata!" Souji purred, leaning possessively up against the man. He gave Souji a slight push back and a glare at the three. They looked at him keenly, wondering Souji's game, but didn't make any comments. Well, not too many anyway.
"He doesn't really seem your… type."
"At all." Nagakura added with speculation in his tone. He had been the closest one to Hijikata, but under the man's gaze had elected to scoot away towards Toudou. Harada, still intent on devouring his meal, simply ignored the melting look. Sometimes Souji was envious of the man's talent to be so single-minded. When he set out to do something, it got done, no distractions.
"Hijikata, these are my friend Heisuke Toudou, Shinpachi Nagakura, and Sanosuke Harada." He pointed to each in turn, "They're visiting from out of town this weekend, although I wasn't expecting them so early in the afternoon."
"Sano drives fast."
"God, I thought we were all going to die."
"Hey!" Harada finished the last bite, "I drive good."
"Well, you drive well." Souji corrected. He couldn't help himself. After years of verbal grammar lessons, it just rolled off his tongue.
Harada shrugged, "That too."
"And where are you…" there was an ominous pause, "Are your friends staying?"
Souji blinked, thinking the answer was very obvious, "At my apartment, of course. You don't leave guests out in the cold."
A frown graced the man's face at that information. Souji still didn't understand the problem.
"So, you are allowing three young men to sleep in the same house as you?" His voice was even and slow, "And you find this acceptable."
"Okita's not a wo—mff. Ouch! Don't kick me—fuck, that hurt."
"Shut up. This is between Souji and the boyfriend."
Souji's violet eyes widened at the realization. Hijikata, being under the impression that he was a young lady, was concerned for him being with three horny guys. Even if Souji pleaded that they were just old friends, it still wouldn't look too good from a moral standpoint.
"It's not a big deal, Hijikata." Souji tried to breeze, thinking fast on how he could wiggle out of this little problem, "We've known each other forever. These guys think of me like one of them. Like a brother almost."
Nagakura snickered.
"Why, do you have a better solution? I can't just kick them out. I promised them they could stay."
Hijikata didn't even hesitate, "You can stay in Susumu's apartment. He will not be using it this weekend."
Souji wasn't sure if that meant that Susumu was out of town on a job or if Hijikata was going to evict his employee for the weekend. Either option didn't sit well with the lavender-haired young man.
"I see." Souji said carefully, the smile sliding off his face. He wasn't sure this was something he should commit to. It seemed to be invasive to both Hijikata and Susumu. It could make things tangle and stick. "But I couldn't possibly--."
"Yes. You will."
Souji glanced at the trio to see if they didn't mind. Nagakura shrugged, saying something about knowing where the key was, and Toudou gave a leer. Harada, who just seemed to realize Souji was in drag, asked if Souji still had the pig because he wanted bacon in the morning for breakfast. Then he asked if lipstick tasted nasty.
"Okay, I guess, since you insist."
"I do."
"Then I should be polite and take you up on your gentlemanly offer." Hijikata looked as if he had expected nothing less.
The rest of the date went rather smooth. Souji, somehow, got the man to talk a little. Not about himself of course, but rather about all the ills in his life, all the worries. Well, probably not all, but the teenager liked to think that he might be helping the burden a little bit.
Lunch and dessert were over far too soon. Hijikata offered to drive Souji to the apartment, and he smiled broadly, explaining that the day was still there. It wouldn't do to be locked up inside so early. To his surprise, the older man agreed to accompany him through the park and into several local shops.
It was surprising how easily Souji slipped into compliance. He didn't mind having the big man gave him impatient scowls or grabbing his shoulder to urge him past a particular display. Several times he caught himself leaning back just to touch.
Infatuation certainly could be vexing, yet he felt it might be worth the trouble. The game had really just begun, except it had mutated and was born into something new, something more exciting. The stakes had become high and very real for him.
In short, the afternoon was a treat. He was sad when the car purred up to a small, dark apartment that was nestled behind the club. It wasn't in the best shape, but Souji didn't complain. Susumu probably didn't need much of a place anyway. The young man had been known to sleep in trees at night when he was younger. At least this had a roof and a bed.
He reluctantly climbed out, inhaling the stale smoke from before; enjoying the scent. His left hand lingered against the seat and suddenly heavy fingers curled around his wrist. He let himself be pulled back into the car, looking up with coy innocence, as if demanding to know why he was captured.
Hijikata grasped his chin, making violet eyes meet ebony, "Don't lie to me."
Before Souji could protest or object, he found himself standing there, alone, with the car crackling up the driveway.
A/N: Mwahaha, evil cliffie! The next update won't take so long. I promise! It's prewritten and everything, it just needs to go to the beta... so harass her... her email is... kidding. And this chapter didn't turn out as light as I had envisioned (which is good). Rating is going up to M for the next chapter.
FireanIce: Souji is very crazy IMO, but he has his own plans O.o;;
Haibane-no-Rakka: Noted and complied with.
Coffee and Cyanide: Both works for me.
Rei-Kuhori: I like them, although they don't really go with the tone of this fic, I had to include them! As to the side note: Souji is dressing and acting like a girl, or attempting to. You'd think he could manage with Susumu's help!
Liz: LMAO, excited wieners are hilarious! I know; I have one. She's kind of fat though, so she doesn't jump that high. Woah, you guys are hyped about the date. Hope not to disappoint.
bloodquartz: Making days is always a pleasure. Heh, if only we could see his face, oh yes. Susumu's a big boy; he can take it. Even if it shortens his lifespan by a few years.