Looking at each other from across the livingroom table, Temari and Shikamaru went through the documents the Hokage had prepared for them.
"Ech."
"What is it?"
"It's the emotional notes. How we fell in love and how we're supposed to act."
"And?"
"And apparently, we're both love-starved loners who're desperate for attention, we fell madly in love with each other after saving each other's lives and now we're wondering who wrote this CRAP?"
"Not so loud, woman."
"Woman? It's Temari-sama to you!"
"Sama? Are you trying to be funny? I think ball-collector would be a more appropriate honorific."
"B-!"
She ignored her fan, simply screaming and leaping the distance between them. Shikamaru was able to grab her hands as she went for his throat, and they began to roll around the living room.
"DAMN! Five minutes…erk…and already…gah…I want to kill you!"
"I thought…hurk…this was your plan!"
"It was the only…kek…idea I had! Cause if I don't do this…"
The two stopped, Shikamaru on top, holding Temari's hands out wide.
"I might actually have to marry that bastard."
Shikamaru released her hands, and watched as she rubbed her wrists while trying not to look at him.
"Look, I…"
"What?"
Shikamaru groaned and stood up, offering a hand, which Temari took and he pulled her to her feet.
"I'm willing to do this…as long as you don't do that."
"Do what?"
"That. That thing you do."
"What thing?"
"That thing!"
"WHAT THING?"
They were interrupted by the doorbell, and Shikamaru quickly dashed off to open the door. As soon as he did, he was smothered in a tight hug.
"Oh, my baby has gotten married! This is so wonderful!"
"Congratulations, son! I heard you found yourself quite a fine lady. When can we meet her?"
"…Bastard. She's back there."
He extricated himself from his mother, leading his parents into the living room.
"Oh, dear, what happened in here?"
"Nothing. Mom, dad, this is Temari."
"Mom and…?"
"Hello! So, you're the one that caught my little Shika-kun! It's so nice to meet you!"
"Eer…yeah. Hi."
"We have so much to talk about!"
"Mom…"
"Oh no, it's always the little details that are important with these things. Temari-san, I have so much to tell you! But first…dear, would you help Shika-kun clean this up while I make us some tea?"
He was already righting a chair before she finished speaking. A few minutes later, with the room cleaned and tea in hand, Shikamaru and his father sat opposite his mother and Temari.
"I can't help feeling so happy! My little Shika-kun has gotten married!"
"It's only temporary, remember."
"I know, dear, but still…Temari?"
"Yes?"
The two men paled as Temari got a look from her mother-in-law that made her grin in a very disturbing fashion.
"I'm sure you'll take good care of my little Shika-kun. Now, where to start…ah yes, did you know, back when he was little…"
Shikamaru's father smiled to himself as the humiliation commenced. Normally, he would have tried to help his son out of something like this, but he and every other man in Konoha had been forced to go through this when they married. It was tradition.
Several hours later, Shikamaru's parent's finally bid him goodnight, and he slumped into the couch across from a smirking Temari. She opened her mouth, but he cut her off.
"Don't. Please, just don't."
"Aww…is something wrong? I had a wonderful time."
"Really? So tell me, when do I get to chat with your family?"
Temari stiffened at that remark, and Shikamaru smiled, mentally marking a point for himself.
After dinner, the two wandered upstairs, freezing as they approached the door at the end of the hallway. Muscles tensed, weapons were accounted for, terrain studied. The two then leapt at the same time, colliding in the doorway and flailing at each other until they broke through, jumping for their target. Shikamaru fell slightly behind, and Temari smirked but suddenly dropped as he yanked a leg out from under her, taking the lead and the objective.
"Tomorrow, remind me to kill your Hokage for only giving us one bed."
"Well, if you catch any enemy nins spying on us tonight, just say we had a fight and I made you sleep on the couch."
As Temari's face twisted with pure, homicidal rage, Shikamaru remembered that in life, as it was in shogi, the more obvious moves are never the smartest ones.
"Eer…I suppose we can share the bed."
"Share? A bed? With you?"
"Why not? It's not like I have any interest in doing anything to you."
"You'd better not. Hey, wait a second…"
Shikamaru sat up on the bed, rolling his eyes as he began to undress.
"I'm too tired to argue. Just get over here and go to sleep."
"…"
She laid her fan against the wall, opening the suitcase she had brought with her.
"Heh. Pajamas. I thought so."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You just didn't strike me as the nightgown type."
"And what do you sleep in?"
"Usually nothing."
Temari stumbled on her way to the bathroom to change, turning around to stare at him in surprise, with just a hint of a blush. He had already stripped down to a pair of boxer shorts, the band of which he was tugging at with one finger.
"But I suppose marriage is all about compromise, right?"
Temari tried to say something, but gave up and continued to the bathroom, coming out a minute later and dropping heavily into bed as far away from Shikamaru as she could. After a few minutes of wordless battle over the sheets, She nearly fell out of bed when Shikamaru suddenly let go of the cloth he was holding.
"Giving up again?"
"It's too late for something so bothersome. Besides, you need them more then I do."
"Desert nights can be freezing cold. I…don't really need them in this weather."
He felt the sheets shoved back his way, and he quickly wrapped himself up in them.
"So…goodnight. …What did you say?"
"I didn't-"
"Yes you did!"
"I said…don't do that."
"Do what?"
"I don't want to tell you, alright? Just…fall asleep already."
"…Fine. Be like that."
The two pretended the other didn't exist as they lay there, backs to each other, and both wondering what they had gotten themselves into.
It turns out Temari moved around a lot in her sleep, waking Shikamaru up by dropping an arm onto his face. He grumbled and pushed it away, but after getting kicked twice, he pulled himself out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He took a long, hot shower, heading back into the bedroom to find a fresh change of clothes. Temari had woken up as well. It wasn't until she yawned and sat up that she realized a few things. First, it had not been a nightmare. Second, there was a Shikamaru digging through the dresser in front of her. Thirdly, he was wearing nothing but a frown.
"KYAAAA!"
A pillow took him clean in the face and knocked him off his feet.
"Put some clothes on! Kami, my eyes!"
"Damn it, woman…I thought you were asleep."
"That's no excuse!"
Temari had turned herself over in bed, hands over her eyes as Shikamaru picked himself off the floor and got dressed.
"It's safe now…damn…you hit hard."
She peeked out to see a half-dressed Shikamaru rubbing a bruise on his back.
"What?"
"You kicked me in your sleep. Twice."
"Umm…I'm sorry?"
"Really?"
"…No."
"Are you ever?"
"…Sometimes."
She stood and approached him, rubbing the bruised skin gently. Shikamaru winced and turned the spot away from her protectively.
"Sorry."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but just this once."
After breakfast, the two headed for the training fields, where Shikamaru's team and Asuma-sensei were waiting for them.
"Hey! Shikamaru, congratulations!"
"Chouji, this is nothing to be celebrating over."
"Really? She's a strong, beautiful Kunoichi, so why wouldn't you be happy?"
"It would take all day to list everything bothersome about her."
Asuma walked up with Ino beside him. She was holding another envelope, and smiling the same smile that everyone else in Konoha seemed to be wearing.
"Someone's in love."
"It's just a mission."
"Just keep telling yourself that."
"Hey…"
Temari stomped up, standing between the two of them and glaring at Ino.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"What? And you call yourself a woman? Honestly!"
Chouji and Asuma both started laughing, with Shikamaru and Temari both looking left out. Ino leaned forward and wiggled her finger in a 'no-no' gesture before continuing.
"If you knew Shikamaru, you'd know, though it would've helped if you heard all the things he was saying about you."
"Complaining about how a girl saved his lazy ass? How do you get love from that?"
"Argh! You are dense! Seriously, trade those breasts in for a penis already. Shikamaru is madly in love with you. He just won't admit it."
"I am not in love with this…this…female!"
"Female? First woman, now I'm just female?"
"I'd think of something else, but then you wouldn't know when i'm addressing you."
Shikamaru dodged the first blast of air, jumping away with Temari chasing him round the field. Chouji gave the bag of chips he was holding a shake, and pulled out the last chip. He looked at it like he was reading a zen proverb before popping it into his mouth.
"You can really tell by the way they fight. It's serious."
His teammate and sensei nodded in agreement. Chouji pulled out another bag of chips, and they all sat down to watch Temari chase her man around the training fields, screaming profanities all the while.