Completely exhausted after chasing each other around the training grounds, Temari and Shikamaru finally sat down to go through the details of the mission with the rest of his team. After that, Temari dragged had dragged Shikamaru to a restaurant for lunch, making him pay for the meal. On their way back 'home' an ANBU made his presence felt and the two jumped up to a nearby rooftop to speak with him.
"Nara Shikamaru, Nara Temari-"
In Shikamaru's humble opinion, the expression on her face more than made up for the day's troublesome events.
"I have an update regarding your mission. Information relayed by Suna indicates that the man who is after Temari-san's hand in marriage has hired ninja from the Hidden Rock to investigate your 'marriage."
"This was expected and planned for, hasn't it?"
"Yes. However, there are complications. They are also the hired bodyguards of a merchant caravan."
"Wait, wait…how is that a complication?"
"If he had sent them ahead on their own, they would have had to infiltrate Konoha, find our house and observe us over an extended period of time, all while avoiding Konoha's guards. Now, it means that they can just walk in through the gates and can move freely around the village, dear."
"Oh. That's…going to be a problem."
"Correct. The caravan has already departed the Earth country and will be here within a week. The two of you are newlyweds, and you are expected to act as such. This means, for example…"
The ANBU trailed off. His expression unreadable behind his mask, but his shoulders began to shake slightly and his tone was lighter when he spoke again.
"…that you, Shikamaru-san, are not to address your wife as 'Temari-ball-collector' and you, Temari-san, are not to scream in panic at the sight of your naked husband."
"That wasn't panic! That was-wait…you were watching us!"
"You mean you didn't notice them?"
"Like you could?"
"TheHokage…was not exaggerating when she classified this as an S-rank mission. Nearly half the ANBU have been assigned to this mission in one function or another."
"You…you're joking."
The ANBU made a slight, almost unnoticeable gesture, and Temari and Shikamaru suddenly noticed a dozen more ANBU, who then vanished from their perceptions just as quickly.
"No, I am not. Temari-san, this has gone far beyond the wounded pride of a single ninja with political connections. Included in the caravan is a high-ranking official who is scheduled for a meeting with both the Hokage and officials of the Fire Country government to discuss recent trade disputes. The man you insulted, Ginko Motoyoshi, will be present at these discussions as well."
"Which means that if this mission fails, there will be a very unhappy voice in those discussions."
"Correct. If the dialogue falls apart, the only recourse left would be the liberal use of each country's shinobi. And neither Konoha nor Suna is prepared for such large-scale operations, after…everything that has occurred. This situation could not have happened at a worse time."
The two were silent, staring at each other nervously. The ANBU vanished and they made their way back down to the street.
"Hey."
"What?"
Shikamaru was looking off into space, holding his hand out towards her.
"What?"
"Take it already."
"Huh?"
Shikamaru sighed and grabbed one of her hands. She stared down at it, stared back at him, and sighed as well, the two walking home hand-in-hand.
Three days, several fights over who had to do what around the house, a few bruises and some serious intent to kill when Kakashi-sensei dropped off a few of those books he reads as a 'housewarming present' Shikamaru woke up to find Temari curled up next to him in bed. The sheets were a mess, his hair was tangled, and Temari's elbow was digging into his side. But the real problem was, for just a single moment, Shikamaru thought she looked rather beautiful when she was asleep. A thought he'd hastily amended with a comment about how because as long as she was asleep, she wasn't yelling at him, though he was getting used to that, and she wasn't attacking him, though it was doing wonders for his reflexss, or…
"You're doing it again, Temari."
Temari didn't answer, or apologize, or even try to move her elbow. All she did was smile in her sleep, roll over, and swing a leg across his stomach. He sighed and grabbed it, feeling surprising smooth skin with nicely toned muscles underneath before shoving it away. Shikamaru rolled onto his side, facing away from his source of torment. If this kept up, he would end up like his dad. Completely and utterly whipped. Well, he would change that. Temari rolled back over, draping an arm around him and shoving her face into his exposed neck, her ample breasts pressed into his back. He would change things. He would. First thing in the morning.
First thing in the morning, Temari had the bathroom first, as were the terms of the treaty. Normally, as the two rooms were connected, he would have to then leave the bedroom, wait in the hall for her to change, and then he would go back in and get dressed while Temari made breakfast. But not today. Today he faked sleep, even as she poked and yelled at him. She gave up and went into the bathroom. She would take a ridiculously long shower and come back out wearing a towel. That was the moment! He would wake up, peek at Temari, she would scream, there'd be violence, and everything would be back to normal. He waited. And waited. And finally…
"Are you still asleep?"
"Huh?"
"Then get up. You have a mission today, remember?"
He sat up. Temari was in front of the dresser, already dressed.
"Hey!"
"What?"
"You're supposed to be naked! How am I supposed to peek at you?"
Temari froze, and Shikamaru tensed. It wasn't precisely what he had in mind, but it would do. Would she reach for her fan? A shuriken? Or try to throttle him with her bare hands?
"Pervert."
And then she pulled on her socks and left the room, leaving a stunned and slightly unnerved Shikamaru staring at the space she just vacated.
"And hurry up if you want breakfast!"
He was in the shower before he knew it. In the middle of washing his armpits, he stopped, letting his head drop. He had waited too long. If he didn't do something fast, it would be all over.
Downstairs, he grabbed the plate of food set for him, sat down at the table, and ate while scowling at his lovely wife.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"No, not nothing. What is it this time?"
"You were supposed to be naked."
"I could tell you were awake."
"You ruined my plan."
"What plan?"
"The-"
Shikamaru stopped. He was slipping, badly. He would be the laughingstock of Konoha. He couldn't believe he was losing to Tem-this woman.
"What plan?"
"I see you naked, and you yell at me. Happy?"
"That…was your plan? You actually had to plan that out? I'd be happy to yell at you if you like it so much."
"I don't!"
"Then why-"
"Because! You keep doing THAT!"
"WHAT?"
"THAT! THAT THING! When you smile at me or help me or make me want to like you!"
"Err…what?"
"I had my life planned out quite nicely, you know. And then I met you."
Shikamaru shoveled the rest of his breakfast into his mouth and stood, grabbing his chuunin vest and heading for the door.
"Wait wait wait…what does that have to do with anything?"
Temari had her hand on the door, holding it shut as he tried to open it.
"Because, I didn't plan on starting to actually like you. You're messing up my whole plan, Tem-woman. As troublesome as it is to just live with you, it'll be even worse if I actually fall in love with you."
She gawked at him, her arm dropping. He took the opportunity to open the door and step outside.
"I'll be back when my mission's complete, Te-wo…Temari. Keh."
She leaned out the door to watch him grumble his way down the street, kicking at the dirt as he went. She closed the door, went to the living room, and sat down, a puzzled look on her face that lasted all of five seconds.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"