I'm back! Sorry about taking forever! I got writers block! There may be a few mistakes, but i wanted to update this story for you guys as soon as possible! Anyway, here's ch. 5!

Chapter Five

Shuichi stood on the scale again, his eyes closed as he crossed his fingers. Please, don't say I've gained weight. I'll be good for now on. No more sweets! I'll throw them all away after this. Just please don't tell me that I've gained weight!

Shuichi slowly looked down at the scale. 116. Shuichi's eyes widened in horror. A pound… I gained a pound. Hideki is going to be mad. With that thought there was a knock at the door. Shuichi quickly dressed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. The person became more persistent and started pounding, making Shuichi rub his temples to ease the ache in his head. He opened the door to reveal none other than Hideki.

The smile fell from Hideki's face as he took in the disheveled hair, dark circles, and pale face that made up Shuichi. Shuichi closed his eyes against the intruding light, making him groan in response. "Hideki… what are you doing here?"

Hideki shook his head as he entered the little house/apartment. "Never mind that, were you up all night working on your lyrics?"

Shuichi slowly closed the door, his eyes just barely cracked open. "No," he croaked as he moved towards the couch.

"Hey! What's this?" Hideki asked as he held up a box of pokey from the floor.

Shuichi quickly looked away, groaning as he ran his hands through his greasy hair. Hideki's eyebrows furrowed as he noticed wrappers of Twinkies, an empty ice cream bucket, an empty bottle of chocolate syrup, and as he turned he noticed a path of wrappers and empty containers that led from the kitchen towards the bathroom.

Hideki turned back to Shuichi. He walked towards him until he was staring down at the aching boy, who was currently rubbing his head. "You binged… didn't you?" asked Hideki softly.

Shuichi slowly nodded, refusing to meet Hideki's gaze as his eyes filled with tears.

"How much did you gain?"

Shuichi looked up, his eyes showing his hesitance. "A… pound…"

Hideki stood up. Shuichi's eyes followed him, worry filling him as he stared up at his manager dark expression. "I stood up all night…! I tried so hard…"

Hideki looked away and Shuichi lowered his head in shame. Everything was quiet for what seemed like eternity, tears streaking Shuichi's cheeks. He sobbed softly as he wiped at his tears and sniffled.

"It's alright, Shuichi," Hideki finally said, making Shuichi look up at him. The look of relief and guilt on Shuichi's face made Hideki sigh. "It could have been worse. I'm proud that you worked so hard to lose all that weight."

Shuichi nodded as he wiped his eyes, his face red and blotchy. "I'm sorry, Hideki. I don't know what came over me. I was just…" Shuichi couldn't finish the sentence. He began sobbing again and he couldn't fight the new tears that gathered at his eyes. Shuichi covered his face, ashamed that he was having his emotional breakdown in front of his manager.

Hideki sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around the frail boy and pulling him onto his lap. Shuichi stiffened, trying to silence the sobs. He kept his gaze on his lap as Hideki fiddled with his hair and nipped at his ear.

"You know, even if you are fat, Shuichi, I'll always love you," breathed Hideki as his fingers lightly skimmed over Shuichi's neck. "You'll always have me."

Shuichi nodded. But what if I don't want you…?

Lips gently brushed over Shuichi's temple as Hideki pressed him to his chest. The lips slowly made their way down to his neck, biting and looking while hands squeezed at the insides of his thighs. A lone tear escaped from Shuichi's eyes as Hideki continued his assault with his hands and lips.

"Please, stop," whispered Shuichi, closing his eyes.

Hideki moved away, his expression a mix of confusion and sorrow. He grabbed Shuichi's chin and forced him to look into his eyes. "What's wrong with you, Shuichi? Do you enjoy hurting the ones who love you?"

I don't mean to… Shuichi met Hideki's eyes. "I don't feel well… I never feel anything… nothing but..." Shuichi pulled away, his gaze slipping to his lap once again. "I feel like I'm shattering… into millions of pieces."

Hideki sighed. "I think it's time for your medicine. You'll feel better once you take it."

Shuichi nodded, opening his mouth and feeling the cold pill slip down his throat. Hideki always has the answer…

The music was loud as the lights flashed over the darkness, people jumping and dancing. The air smelled of sweat and beer, the humidity weakening. Amongst the crowd, Shuichi danced, his hair soaked and his body glistening with sweat. Hideki danced behind him, his hands on the boy's hips swaying to the beat provocatively.

The model's hands were in the air, eyes closed as he groaned softly, feeling his manager press against him; hands ran through his hair, lips placing feathery kisses on his jaw. Shuichi's head leaned back in ecstasy, his eyes becoming half lidded and staring up at the bright lights, eyes clouded and dull with a silly grin plastered onto his face.

Hot breath breathed into his ear, making shivers run up and down his spine. "Shuichi," Hideki breathed before kissing his neck.

Shuichi sighed softly, his mouth parted slightly in bliss, hands running up and down his body, caressing his sweating skin. The lights are so bright… so beautiful…"Yes," Shuichi answered, giggling as he twirled away from his manager.

Hideki smirked as he strutted towards the model through the crowd. He grabbed Shuichi harshly, pulling him close. Shuichi gasped as Hideki nibbled on his ear, his hands roaming down to caress the model's tight behind. "Wanna go somewhere?" whispered Hideki.

Shuichi's eyes closed tightly, his lips quivering. "Where?"

Shuichi groaned as Hideki sucked at his prey's neck, his fingers playing with the waistband. "The ally…" Hideki breathed, making shivers run up and down Shuichi's back.

Shuichi's eyes cracked open, gold becoming visible in the distance. He cocked his head, taking in the blonde hair and the cigarette. The man becoming more and more familiar. Golden eyes… Where have I seen those golden eyes…?

"Shuichi?" Hideki asked, the manager suddenly sounding worried. "Are you alright?"

Shuichi nodded. "I'm fine…"

Hideki frowned. "I'm going to get something to drink. Stay here."

Shuichi nodded, his gaze never leaving the gold eyed beauty who was slowly heading his way. He turned away and continued dancing with the crowd, his eyes closing and his body concentrating on the beat of the music. Let him come…Shuichi jumped as arms encircled him from the behind, warmth enveloping him. Hideki…?

"What are you doing here?" the harsh voice whispered in his ear.

Shuichi shivered, smirking softly as he tilted his head to rest on the man's shoulder. No… not Hideki… gold eyed cutey…His arms raised above his head and around the man's head, playing with his blonde locks. "Dancing," he answered simply, his voice ragged. "You're so warm…" Shuichi turned around and snuggled against the man's chest, inhaling the sweet scent. "And you smell so nice…"

The man didn't say anything, golden eyes watching as the model fiddled with the buttons to his trench. "Is anything wrong?"

The model sighed. "No…" He giggled as he patted at his cheek.

The man lifted an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?"

The model suddenly lifted his head, eyes dilated. "Absolutely nothing! Everything is fine! I've gained a pound, I skipped work, and Hideki thinks I'm fat! Everything is A- okay!" Shuichi laughed hysterically, tears falling from the sad eyes. Confusion came over his face, his eyes looking around wildly his hands trembling violently.

Shuichi pushed himself away from the gold eyed stranger, suddenly becoming fearful. They hate me… they're all laughing at me… me! You're not good enough. Why would they like you anyway? You have no talent. It's just like what he said, you are nothing! "I know," whispered Shuichi, his hands clamped over his ears as he bent over, eyes closed, fighting back the tears that kept falling. Why should Hideki keep you? He should drop you! Gaining weight… After all he's done for you! You are filth… Shuichi nodded, sobbing as he dropped to his knees, nails digging into his head and latching onto his hair. "I am nothing…"

A little short i know, but i'll update as soon as i can! Please review! The more reviews i get the quicker i'll update!