Fate Grand Order is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi is the creation of Tanigawa Nagaru and Ito Noizi, and the intellectual property of Kadokawa Bunko.

Kyon: Big Damn Hero is the creation of the sadly late Brian Randall.

Still Better than Black Keys.

Chapter Fifty Nine.

Assassin.

Real Name: Tadamichi Kyosuke.

Other Titles and Aliases: Kyon, John Smith.

Gender: Male.

Alignment: Lawful Neutral.

Attribute: Human.

Natural Enemy: None whatsoever.

Parameters:

Strength: E

Endurance: E

Agility: D

Mana: D

Luck: EX

Noble Phantasm: B

Likes: "I dunno. Girls, of course. I mean, I'm just a man after all. Anything that helps pass the time, I'm not picky..."

Also, milk.

Dislikes: "Look, I just want to live a quiet, peaceful life, okay? That's all, of course I'm not into things that get into the way of that..."

Biography:

Deadpan Snarker extraordinaire, Secret Keeper of various supernatural factions, survivor and solver of an apocalypse or three, holder of Suzumiya Haruhi's leash (see also Haruhi's Foreigner sheet) and de facto leader of the SOS Brigade in matters Haruhi couldn't know. After clubmate and alien data entity Nagato Yuki was slated for deletion by the IDSE, Kyon was forced to follow through with his own threat to the Data Overmind by breaking the Masquerade to Haruhi about aliens, time travelers, espers and her own power, and calling out the loyalties of the rest of the Brigade members to him, placing himself as a centerpiece in a completely new game to all the factions involved.

Of course, when it rained in Kyon's life, it indeed poured. While he had to deal with a Haruhi who knew her own powers, the threat of Haruhi's closed space still existed. Adding a Mysterious Waif who appeared to know him and the impending threat of the IDSE while still trying to keep test marks acceptable enough for his parents, Kyon was forced to take a more active role than ever before, not only simply calling on the help of his friends. This has carried on as a Legendary Spirit, even!

Shamelessly taken from TV Tropes, dattebayo! Hey, I'm giving them the credit! This is a Big Damn Tropes entry after all!

Class Skills:

Presence Concealment: B+

The capacity to hide one's presence as a Servant. It is a common Class Skill of the Assassin class.

Assassin's Badass Longcoat is equipped with shields and a disguise and invisibility function that further enhance his innate ability to meld with crowds and remain unnoticed as a quiet, unremarkable apparent non entity everyman. While he has a rich inner life, his real thoughts are nearly impossible to guess with a look at his ever impassive face, making him even more difficult to predict. This also helps him outsmart and outgamble his enemies.

Personal Skills:

Genre Savviness: B

The capacity to predict the outcome of situations, and the way others will act and react, in the middle of any given conflict or predicament mirroring those seen in an action, adventure, romance, drama or comedy work of fiction. Reality reflects fiction, after all.

Assassin, after a long stay in service under Suzumiya Haruhi, has caught a rather good handle on the principles of narrative and its parallels and divergences with real life. He is centered even under extreme pressure and can calculate accurate courses of procedure to deal with obstacles and adversaries, and he's also apt at making allies, enemies, and even admirers out of foes.

Martial Arts: D

A value that measures one's mastery of the martial arts that made becoming one with the universe as its objective. Its learning difficulty is of the highest level and, unlike other Skills, it is at A Rank that one is at a level where one is said to have finally 'learned it'. Works under the same principle as Chinese Martial Arts, but, well, these aren't Chinese in origins.

Nagato has bothered to assimilate knowledge on functional, streetwise fighting from all the resources available to her, and taught them to Assassin through intensive personal training. The style Assassin has learned from her is far from flashy and remains closer to the thuggish attack tactics favored by the yakuza and other lowlives, but is still remarkably functional in its lack of flashiness, especially in short distances.

Natural Born Ladykiller: B

The mark of a true Anime Harem Hero, most often of the reluctant and even unwilling type. While Assassin is very fond of the female beauty, he is rather cautious about women, who tend to baffle and confuse him, but he will start pulling them towards himself regardless, especially if Haruhi herself is closeby. He canonically had Ship Tease with Haruhi, Nagato, Asahina Mikuru, Tsuruya-san, Michikyuu Kanae, and even Asakura Ryoko. In another world, he also might be the target of Kugimiya Madoka's underclasswoman love.

This is a passive ever present Skill, and as such, it cannot be turned on and off, or else Assassin would have it off all the time. Not all female attractions he will get are healthy or advantageous, and so this is a double edged sword the Servant and his Master must keep in mind at all times. Most attempts from Assassin to actually start an aggressive courtship will most likely be clumsy and bound to backfire.

If his strained relationship with fellow SOS Brigadier Koizumi Itsuki was any indication, Assassin's passive charm may very well work on attractive young males, too.

Noble Phantasm:

Beam Saber: B

Anti-Unit.

Heroes Prefer Swords! And light swords are much better than regular old swords! And the Tadamichi family's ancestral light sword has an interesting history to it that I doubt you have heard of- no, wait, this one's been done before, too. Sorry, I'll have to go with my own lame wording.

Let's see, um... ah... Let's quote the original source instead, okay? You wouldn't mind, would you? Pretty please?

Thank you. Y'all are wonderful.

Well, he reasoned, dashing up the hill, as the trees around him exploded into flame from a concentration of no less than four energy beams, he shouldn't be that surprised. He shifted the weapon back to neutral form in his coat, mid-dash, and readied his beam saber, instead. If he had to fight in close quarters, he'd need cover, and the trees weren't lasting more than a second at best against the energy coming off the attacking robots.

The blade hummed into life in his hands, nearly weightlessly, his grip reflexively holding it in a guard stance before him.

The change in shield function wasn't that surprising, though. More importantly, he still had allies to back him up, and if his friends were risking being involved, that meant he needed to try and keep the robots busy.

Thrilling, huh? This is a highly empathic weapon, easy to shift into a variety of modes and lengths and even able to shoot concentrated blasts of energy upon the opposition. What more could a typical hero or cynical anti-hero alike demand from their reliable combat tool?

Its power increases in the proximity of Suzumiya Haruhi, and/if Assassin is fighting on her behalf as her knight protector. Since possession of this weapon doesn't allow Kyon prowesses with any other sort of blade, Kyon could not possibly qualify for the Saber class.

Summon: "Hello there. I'm Assassin."

Start of Battle: "Why am I even doing this?"

"What a bother..."

"Oi, oi. Wouldn't you rather discuss this like civilized people? No? Dammit!"

Victory: "I won? Huh, I barely can believe it."

"Seriously? I did it? Man, you sure were weak."

"Don't think I'm enjoying this any more than you."

"Whatever. Let's just move on."

Defeat: "What... What happened..."

"I knew it... I'm too weak for this..."

"Be careful... Giving Haruhi the news..."

Defeat by Noble Phantasm: "Blast it!"

Noble Phantasm Activation: "Beam Saber! That's all I need to say, right? Damn, that's so stupid sounding, I feel like an idiot!"

Extra Dialogue:

"Huh? I think I know you, from somewhere... What's with that face? Ah, I get it, these weirdos drive you crazy, don't they? Welcome to the club..." (When you have Alter Ego Hasegawa Chisame).

"Whoa! The legendary mob princess, right? Hey, take it easy, take it easy! Didn't mean to offend! I thought you'd like the recognition, geez...!" (When you have Berserker Kirisaki Chitoge).

"Huh? A sensei? You, really?" (When you have Lancer or Saber Jaguar Warrior).

"What a gruesome guy. I can't stand men who look at little girls that way." (When you have Rider Blackbeard).

"Haruhi! You...?! Oh, of course you'd be here. Yeah, yeah, fine. Alright. I'll get to work right now. Just like in the old times, huh..." (When you have Foreigner Suzumiya Haruhi).

Birthday: "Happy birthday, wanna go to the pool? It beats doing nothing, right?"

Event: "Oh, damnit. Haruhi's bound to be there, wrecking havoc. Let's get there and see what we can do."

Holy Grail: "I don't know. What do you suggest? I mean, maybe we could wish for Haruhi to lose those powers? Maybe they'd better be left with you?"

To be Continued.