Hey guys! I know it has been ages since I last updated. I was so busy in the last months but now I´m back on track. I´ve already written a huge part of this story, so there will be more frequent updates in the future :) I´m really thankful for everyone who is still with me right now and I hope you´ll enjoy the new chapter. Things are really going to speed up now. I´m looking forwards to what you think about it :)

Let´s go...

Bring me water,

I refuse to drink.

It doesn´t matter who you are

nor what you think

I make all myown decisions

right or wrong.

My mind is set and very strong.

Don´t waste your time with me,

for can´t you see.

I´m in charge of my own destiny.

(Melvina Germain)

"Stefan?"

"Hmm?" Her boyfriend, who´s eyes had been buried in his math book, looked up at her.

"I´ve been thinking…", Elena began carefully.

"Yes, me too. If I take the square root from 430 and divide it by 10, I should be able to define x, right?"

Elena raised her eyebrows. "What?"

Stefan laughed. "Maths, Elena," he reminded her. "We are learning for the math test tomorrow."

Elena rolled his eyes at him. "I know what we are doing", she replied goodheartedly, knowing full well that he was only teasing her. After school, Elena had proposed to go over to the Salvatore Boarding House to learn for the test tomorrow. Caroline had driven them to Elena´s house and from there they had taken Elena´s car to go over to the boarding house.

Obviously, she had not really intended to learn. It had all be part of her master plan. She had prayed to some God that Damon wouldn´t be here this afternoon and her prayers had been granted. When they arrived, the Boarding House had been empty. No sign of Damon. To be completely sure, Elena had asked Stefan if he knew where Damon was. Apparently, he was attending some meeting with the council. Elena had been glad to hear this. It should give her some time to pull this off.

But she couldn´t wait forever.

"Seriously Stefan, there is something I´ve been thinking about in the last days."

Her boyfriend seemed to have recognized that it was important because he put the book aside and looked at her expectantly. "With everything going on…," Elena began carefully, "all these vampires running around in Mystic Falls, I think I just need more protection. I can´t just depend on you or… Damon to swoop in and safe the day."

Stefan´s face narrowed but he kept quiet, listening to what she was suggesting.

"I´ve been trying to think of ways to get more protection. And I´ve come to the conclusion that I should really start drinking vervain in addition to my necklace."

Stefan eyes narrowed. "Elena, I promise you, that you are in no danger. No one is going to hurt you." Elena sighed. She looked at her boyfriend and wished, for maybe the tenth time, that she would be able to tell him what was going on right now. She wanted to tell him that, yes, she desperately needed protection… but not from the tomb vampires but his own brother. However, every single time she tried to tell him, it was as if the words were stuck in her mouse. She could think of telling him everything… but she could simple not do it. Elena felt as if there was a fight within her between what she wanted and what Damon wanted. And she was losing this fight.

Every. Fucking. Single. Time.

But even though she couldn´t tell Stefan what was going on, he could still help her. Getting enough vervain to drink it frequently was a first step. If she had vervain in her system, Damon could tell her to take of her necklace all he wanted. He would still not be able to compel her. And even better: he would not be able to drink her blood again! Elena could vividly imagine how that would suck for him.

She gave Stefan her best puppy dog eyes. "Just think about it, Stefan. If I only wear my necklace, anyone could take it off. It´s just so insecure! And what if ´m attacked by a vampire? The moment he drinks my blood, he would simply collapse. Don´t you think this is something desirable? It could make a difference between life and death and you know it!"

Stefan contemplated her words before finally giving in. "Maybe, you´re right. It would give you some extra protection. I could fetch you some in the next days."

"How about you do it right now?"

Stefan´s eyes narrowed a bit as he scanned her. "Elena, is everything all right?"

Elena felt herself smile reassuringly. Before she even recognized it, her mouth already opened. "Yes, Stefan, of course. I´m fine. I just want to take all security measures that I can. Do you understand?", she heard herself say. It took her a second to realize that Damon´s compulsion had forced this sentence. You will do everything you can to keep this our secret, he had told her. Obviously, it was working quiet well. Oh, how she hated him!

Stefan didn´t seem to catch up to her inner struggle. "Yeah, of course I understand. And you´re right that there is no reason to wait." He pushed himself up and smiled lovingly at her. "I just go downstairs to catch you some of the vervain. If you want to, you can already prepare a tea. If you put some in there, the taste will be ok."

Elena nodded thankfully and smiled at her boyfriend. She watched him leave and pushed herself up as well to go to the kitchen. She felt as if some weight has been lifted from her. She could not deny that Damon had caught her off-guard. Yesterday, she had not been able to deny him because the threat of compelling her to love him had been too big. However, Damon would lose this advantage the moment she drank the vervain. He would not be able to compel her anymore. To really ensure this, Elena would also go a step further. She had brought a little bracelet with her, which you could put around your ancle. She had decided to also fill it with vervain. So even if Damon somehow succeeded in getting the vervain out of her system, she would have an extra layer of protection. Elena was determined to never let him compel her again. But she was not done at this point. She wanted Damon to suffer for what he had done to her. She wanted him to burn in hell. And she had an idea of how to accomplish this. If Damon really thought he had won, he had another thing coming.

Elena was determined to show him how much he had underestimated her.

The Mystic Falls annual dance party was just one of the various events hosted by the Lockwood family. Sometimes, Elena wondered whether Carol Lockwood was ever doing anything else than planning and organising these parties. However, she could not deny that Carol had a knack for gatherings like that. She knew how to make them pompous.

Currently, the light had been dimmed and thousands of candles were illuminating the room. Slow piano music was playing in the background. As always, everyone had appeared in their best evening dresses. The high society of Mystic Falls was in it´s best shape this evening.

Originally, this party has been organized for "grounder families only". The reality looked different though. Almost all residents of Mystic Falls seemed to be present. Carol doesn´t seem to be amused by this but she was too tactful to actually throw someone out. Elena, on the other hand, only thought about the presence of one person. She was currently sitting at one of the tables, her eyes scanning the area around her.

It didn´t take her long to find him. He was standing next to Sheriff Forbes, wearing his most charming smile, and seeming to be completely focused on their discussion. He was wearing a dark suit, which looked quite good on him. Elena hated that he always had to look that ravaging. She wished he would be ugly.

She wasn´t surprised that he was here. He was from a founder family after all. In fact, she had counted on it. As if Damon was sensing her gaze, his blue eyes suddenly went up and focused on her. Elena directly returned his gaze, refusing to be intimidated by him. When he saw that she was looking, a small dangerous smirk appeared on his face. He nodded in her direction as if to greet her.

What a smug prick, Elena thought angrily. She felt somehow safer now, without this constant threat of compulsion. Today, after Stefan had been back with the vervain, she had not wasted any time. She had prepared a tea, putting in quiet a lot of vervain. The tea had been bitter as hell, but Elena had not been willing to take a risk. Now she was pumped up with the herb and she planned to use this to her advantage. I will show him that it´s not going to be so easy.

She looked at Stefan, who was just making his way back to her, with two cups of wine in his hand and a sudden determination went through her. She knew what she had to do. Now was not the time for hesitation. "Thanks!" she said, smiling brightly at her boyfriend, who also looked quite charming in his black suit.

Stefan put one of the cups on the table in front of Elena. "You´re not worried that someone might notice you drinking?", he asked her.

Elena laughed. "And what if someone did? I´m sure my vampire boyfriend could lay in a good word for me." She smiled cockily and winked at him. Stefan grinned. "I guess I could convince them that it is ok for you to drink one glass" he replied good-heartedly.

Elena smiled, before taking a big gulp, enjoying the warm tingle that went through her body. She needed all the courage she could get. She gulped down some more.

"Whoa, they will notice when you are drunk, though. Maybe you should go a bit slower."

Internally, Elena rolled her eyes. It had only been two gulps. Anyway, arguing with Stefan was the last thing she wanted to do right now. She forced a smile on her face that didn´t reflect her feelings at all. "You´re right", she agreed easily, before putting the glass on the table again. She grabbed for Stefan´s hand. It felt warm against her skin. She let her thumb glide over it in slow circles before she looked up at him, batting her eyelashes. "Maybe we could do something else fun, though."

Stefan raised his eyebrows. "What do you have in mind?"

Elena grinned and sprang up. Now she could look down on her boyfriend. Feeling playful, she made a little flirtatious curtsy. "Mr. Salvatore, would you be so kind and give me this dance?"

"Now? There is almost no one dancing yet."

Elena glanced at the dancefloor where three single pairs were dancing to the slow music. More than enough, she thought, before taking Stefan´s hand. "Don´t tell me you are too chicken."

This seemed to do the trick. Stefan sighed, with a considerable desperation in his voice but finally relented. When they reached the dancefloor, Elena put her hands around his neck and felt Stefan pulling her closer to him while putting his hands on her waist. Elena looked up at her boyfriend and enjoyed his proximity. She tried not to think about Damon, to concentrate on him, on Stefan and her feelings for him. At first, it was difficult. She could vividly imagine him, watching her. She could feel his eyes on her, watching her every move. But when the slow music started and Stefan pulled her even closer to him, it was easy after all. She closed her eyes for a moment and enjoyed the feeling of his body against her. They were slowly moving in a circle, Stefan leading her like an expert.

After a while, Elena opened her eyes again and smiled at him. "I don´t understand why you never want to dance. You´re so good at it."

Stefan laughed. "I had a lot of time to learn. But only because I´m good at it, doesn´t mean I actually like doing it." Elena rolled her eyes. She pressed her body even closer to him, eradiating all the space that was left between them. Her eyes twinkled. "So you don´t like this at all?" She asked innocently.

Stefan put his arms around her back. "I absolutely hate it."

"Oh yes, I can see that."

They grinned at each other before falling silent again. For a moment, Elena was content with just dancing with him. It felt good to be hold like this. Stefan was always so careful, so tender with her. He was everything his brother wasn´t. He felt like a safe harbor. She wished they could remain like this forever. She wished time would simply stop. But, of course, reality didn´t work like this. The song ended and another one began. And Elena knew that she had to move on with her plan. She looked at Stefan again. "You know, I´ve just been thinking about the last time we danced like this. You were in full blood-lust mode back then." She shrugged. "I´m just really thankful that you´re back to normal now and we can be together."

Stefan looked uncomfortable. "I´ve been kind of a dick back then, haven´t I?"

"Kind of," Elena admitted. "But the worst was, that I didn´t really recognized you anymore. It was as if you were a completely different person." Stefan nodded earnestly. "In a way I was. I mean, there is this part within me, the vampire part, and normally I can control it. But after I tasted your blood my control over it just slipped away. I still saw what I was doing but I simply couldn´t control it. It was the vampire that had all the control, not me." Stefan looked as if he was in pain. "But, right now I want to promise you something, Elena. I want to promise you that I will never lose control like this again. I will not disappoint you." Elena couldn´t help but gulp. Stefan looked so honest right now. And she loved him even more. "I could never cope with loosing you," she admitted honestly. "It´s like my worst nightmare." A shy smile crept on her face. "You know, after my parents died, I felt alone. I felt as if I could never be happy again. As if I had lost this feeling forever. But then I met you and simple like that, I was happy again. I would always fight for us. I hope you know that, Stefan." But now her happiness was threatened and she couldn´t even tell Stefan. She tried not to think about it. Tried to gulp down her fear. She could almost feel Damon´s eyes on her and she knew he was watching them. Listening in to their conversation. Actually, she planned on it. And she hoped it sucked for him. She was going to show Damon how strong the bond between her and Stefan was. Carefully, Elena lifted her hand and cupped Stefan´s face. By now, their lips were only separated by centimeters. "I hope you know that I love you, Stefan. I always will."

His eyes lit up. "I swear I don´t deserve you", he whispered tenderly. For a second his lips touched hers in a soft kiss. "I love you too."

In any other situation Elena´s heart would probably have made a jump by hearing his words. Right now, however, all she could focus on was trying to not look in Damon´s direction. She would have loved to see his reaction to her words. But she couldn´t risk it. She didn´t want to give him the satisfaction to see that even in a situation like this, her thoughts were still on him. He didn´t deserve this from her. She leaned forwards, capturing Stefan´s lips in a searing kiss. His lips felt good on hers, and finally she was able to forget Damon for a moment. This is how a kiss is supposed to be, Elena thought with closed eyes. Not like this violent kiss she had shared with Damon. No, never like that. For the first time this day Elena managed to relax a bit. It was so easy to believe that she was safe when Stefan was kissing her like this. He would never let anything happen to her. She simply had to believe it.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a cough. Stefan leaned away from her and when she opened her eyes, she looked right at Damon who was standing next to them. He had a smile on his face, but Elena knew him well enough to see the anger hidden behind his eyes. She hardened her face. She didn´t want to show him any fear. Damon seemed to notice her change of attitude but didn´t comment on it.

"Damon", Stefan greeted, his face still slightly flushed from the kiss. "I haven´t been aware you were here as well."

Damon smirked. "Yeah, I had some thinks to discuss with the sheriff. And then I thought I´d come and check on my dear baby brother. See if he has everything… under control."

Stefan´s lips pressed together. "I´m fine," he answered, before his tone softened just a little. "Honestly, I´m over it." Elena knew that Stefan and Damon had become closer in the last weeks and she wasn´t surprised to see that the hospitality that had been so present in Stefan´s eyes when he had talked to Damon a few months ago, was gone now. To be honest, she had liked this new development. Now, she just wished that Stefan would still hate his brother.

"I hope so, brother," Damon answered. "It was a really close call, though. We can´t have the council realize what we really are." Stefan looked pained. "I know. I told you I have it under control." Damon didn´t look convinced. His eyes fell on Elena. "Well, I see you two are back to being lovebirds, anyway." He remarked. "I have to admit that I´m surprised. Didn´t thought Elena would forgive you so easily for almost killing someone, Stef."

Elena straightened her back and glared at Damon. "Stefan wasn´t himself," she pointed out. "And he regrets what he has done. That is more than can be said about you, isn´t it, Damon?" Her sweet smile dripped with acid.

When Damon was surprised by the vigor of her answer, he didn´t show it. The smile was plastered on his face while he shrugged. "Well, in contrast to our saint Stefan here, I don´t claim to be the good guy." True enough, Elena thought. Still, she had thought that deep down there was some good in Damon. Obviously, she had been a fool.

Damon smirked. "The only difference between my brother and me is that when I drink from humans, I have enough self-control to stop before someone dies." His blue eyes swiftly went to her neck, where she still wore the scarf. She felt the blood rush to her face when she thought about what he had done to her. She remembered his body so close to hers, his lips on her neck, the pain when he had bitten her. She had to close her eyes to not lose her composure. Damon seemed to see the distress his words had created. His smirked evilly.

Elena fought to keep calm. She refused to give Damon the satisfaction of seeing her fear. When she opened her eyes again, her gaze was as hard as ice. "What exactly do you want, Damon?", she asked a bit harsher than she had intended. Her gaze fell on Stefan but he didn´t look as if he thought the conversation strange. Elena sighed internally. She had hoped that Stefan would somehow catch up. It didn´t look like it though.

Damon ignored the harsh tone in Elena´s voice as well, his smile nothing but charming. "Well, I was bored by this whole small-town conversations and thought maybe you´d like to dance." He looked at Stefan all innocently. "Only, if you don´t mind, of course. You know, in the last weeks, Elena and I have become friends." Stefan seemed to be oblivious to the mocking tone in Damon´s voice when he said the word "friends", but for Elena it was all too clear. Don´t ever say this word to me again, he had told her this morning. Elena was sure that she would never be tempted to, anyway. After this was over, she would never want to be friends with Damon again. She hoped that she would never have to see him again.

Stefan looked at Elena as if to gauge her reaction. "I guess you have to ask her herself," he told his brother. "That´s her decision."

Damon´s smile got even brighter. "Of course it is," his eyes challenged Elena to go ahead and defy him. But Elena knew what she had to do. And this was the perfect situation to start. She wasn´t going to back down. She forced a smile on her face which was as false as Damon´s. "Sure, why not," she answered. Her eyes found Stefan´s and smiled seductively. "We can always continue where we were interrupted later, right Stefan? I´m sure we could… intensify the experience."

It was meant to provoke Damon and by looking at his tense body Elena knew she had succeeded. Stefan laughed awkwardly, maybe surprised that she had said something like this. "Sure, "he replied anyway, before leaning closer to her and giving her a small peck on the lips. "I´m at the bar."

Elena watched him retreat until she couldn´t see him anymore. Just then, she was able to gather the courage she needed to turn around and look at Damon.

The smile that had been plastered on his face was gone. He was openly glaring at her but even though his gaze was scary as hell, Elena simply refused to be intimidated. She raised her eyebrows at him, confident that he wouldn´t do anything to her as long as they were in public. "What?"

She had to admit that she liked seeing Damon struggle with his anger but not being able to do anything against it.

He cocked his head to the side. "You do insist on making me angry, don´t you Elena?" he asked while stepping closer to her and placing his hands on her back. Elena ignored the feeling of fear and placed her hands on his shoulders, looking as innocent as possible. "I´m not sure what you´re talking about. You wanted to dance, and I complied. Is that not what you wanted, Damon? Me all…", she leaned closer to him so that she could whisper in his ear. "Obedient." Damon pushed her a little away from him, just to bring her back with a spin. When she came back to him, his eyes glowered at her. His face was just centimeter away from hers. "Obedient, yes," he growled quietly. "But not all over my brother, telling him again and again how much you fucking love him."

"Well, but I do. And if I would not tell him, Stefan would sense that something was off. Which, if I remember correctly, you desperately wanted to avoid", she replied with her sweetest voice.

Just as she had expected, her words seemed to anger Damon even more. It was alright for her. The angrier he was the better for her. She was convinced that he wouldn´t kill her but she did hope that he might do something else. Ignoring the angry look, he was shooting her, Elena continued. "You know Damon, you might have me trapped right now, but do you really think it will change what I feel for Stefan? Do you think with time I will stop loving him; that I will start having feelings for you?" She laughed. "Because honestly, it will never happen. Even this morning, when you forced me to kiss you, I just thought of him, never you. I imagined it were his lips on mine and it was the only think that made the kiss halfway bearable."

Her words didn´t fail to hit home. Elena could feel his grip on her tighten, his eyes shooting daggers at her, but she refused to back down now. She met his gaze head on, challenging him.

He growled. "Maybe you should shut this pretty mouth of yours, Elena."

She wasn´t even thinking about it. "It´s not my fault that you cannot stand the truth."

For just a single moment, Elena feared that Damon would lose his composure right there, no matter if there were witnesses or not. But in the end, Damon always had had a good self-control. He shook his head, then laughed. "I´m not sure if you are brave or silly."

"Or maybe, you´re just not as scary as you think, Damon," Elena replied sweetly. This ripped another dark chuckle from Damon´s lips. "You did seem scared enough this morning."

"A lot can happen in a day."

"Sure, so maybe it is time to remind you."

Elena rolled her eyes, "Good luck with that."

Damon´s eyes gleamed. "I´ve always loved a good challenge." Elena could feel that Damon moved his hand on her back, while they still danced lightly to the soft music. He moved his hand down to her ass, giving her left ass cheek a light squeeze. Elena felt the blood rush to her face and glared at him, angry that he thought he had a right to do something like this. Her eyes wandered through the room, making sure no one had seen how the brother of her boyfriend was touching her inappropriately.

"The room is full of people," she said angrily but Damon didn´t seem to care. "In the worst case they are going to think that you are a slut." He shrugged, clearly showing that he didn´t care. "Besides, you are not going to be with Stefan for much longer anyway. This little show of yours was enough for me for my whole lifetime.

"What?!"

Damon smirked. His hand gave her ass another squeeze before he pulled it away. "I don´t really like sharing."

This time it was Elena who had to control herself as best as possible. She wanted to scream at him but knew that this would be a mistake. She took a deep, calming breath. "Unfortunately, you cannot share what you don´t have. And I´m already Stefan´s."

Damon looked at her, his eyes blinking with a kind of dark amusement. They had a chilling edge to it. "Maybe for the moment," he admitted. "but… for how long?" One of his hands left her back and slowly tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. His touch was soft but she wasn´t fooled. For just a moment, he let his hand wander down, sliding lightly over the scarf that was covering the bitemark he had left on her. Elena couldn´t help but feel slightly afraid. She tried not to show it but knew deep down that she wouldn´t fool him that easily.

"I think we should continue our conversation somewhere more secluded. I´m sure I can… convince you of my point of view concerning Stefan."

Elena gasped and looked at Damon with big eyes. He really wanted to compel her to quit things with Stefan, she realized with amazement. She honestly hadn´t thought that he would go this far. Damon seemed to take her surprise for fear, but this was ok for Elena. Her whole plan depended on Damon being oblivious to the fact that he couldn´t compel her anymore. She looked at him with as much desperation as she could muster. "No…no Damon, you… you can´t do that!"

He only reacted with indifference. "I can. And I will. Come on, the song is over, let´s go somewhere where we can… talk."

He took hold of her arm, not to gently, and took a step in the direction of the entry hall, but Elena resisted. "No Damon, I´m not going with you," she said with as much force as she could muster up. "And if you continue dragging me, I swear to you, I´m going to scream. And then all your good contacts to the council will be ruined because they´ll know what an extreme asshole you are!"

Damon looked at her with anger shining in his eyes and in a second, he was in her face. "Believe me, Elena, you do not want to mess with me right now," he growled at her. "You will do as you´re told, or I will compel you, right here if necessary. Decide now."

Elena had to admit that she was surprised from the anger in his voice. It terrified her, she had to admit it. She would be a fool not to be terrified. And even if she knew that he couldn´t compel her anymore, she could not deny that she felt intimidating by the darkness that burned in his eyes. This is what you wanted, she told herself. He needs to be angry; more angry than ever before. He needs to lose control. Elena could just hope that her plan was as clever as she thought.

For just a moment, she stared at Damon, did nothing to hide the fear and doubt she felt deep inside of her. Let him think you are intimidated, she told herself. Let him think that he has won. Then, finally, she looked down, away from him as if she couldn´t bear his gaze anymore. It was easy to submit. The difficult part would follow when they were alone. Elena nodded, just once. Her voice sounded faint. "Ok."

By hearing her compliance, a smug look started to appear on Damon´s face. The grip of his hand became just a bit lighter and when he walked away from the dance floor, Elena followed meekly.

She was content with letting him think that he had won. She knew better. It was game on.

It took Damon some time to find a secluded room, but the moment he did, he pushed Elena in and closed the door behind him. "Finally, some privacy."

Elena looked around. The room was lit only by a dim lamp in one corner, but it was enough to see that they were in some kind of office. There was a big mahogany desk in the middle of the room. The walls were covered over and over with bookshelf's which were full of books that had an ancient air. All in all, a room which is meant to impress, Elena thought. It was a room where you talked with your working correspondences. Elena was almost sure that Tyler Lockwood´s father had not so much as looked into the books that were so prominent in this room. This was also certainly not a room they were supposed to be in. Anyway, Elena thought that this was one of her last problems right now.

Her eyes went back to Damon and she gasped when she saw him mustering her. In contrast to her, he hadn´t bothered to look around. His eyes were on her and her alone. Elena gulped. In the dim light of the room, Damon looked even more like a dark angel than normally. Or the devil, Elena thought, feeling cold.

"I´ve waited the whole evening to finally be alone with you." He laughed before slowly taking a step in her direction. Elena quickly walked backwards, putting her hands up as to shield herself from him. "Stay away." But Damon only chuckled. "Maybe you haven´t realized it yet, but there is no way I am ever going to stay away from you again, Elena."

Elena gulped. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. Make him angry, she thought. She needed to make him loose control. She was only one step away from the wall now and then she would have no way to escape. Don´t let it come to this. She stopped. Looked at him. Shoved her fear aside. "Even if you never leave my side again, I will never feel something for you than contempt, you know this right, Damon? Whatever we had, you destroyed it." She breathed in, breathed out. Took a step in his direction. Glared at him. "Is this what you want? For me to hate you forever?"

There was a small flicker of surprise in Damon´s eyes but he hid it momentarily. "Well, Elena," he said and took a step in her direction as well so that he could look down at her. "I´ll just have to make sure that even though you might hate me, you´ll love me as well."

"I could never love you."

He rolled his eyes. "I guess there we disagree. It just needs some time."

It was as if he didn´t even listen to her. Elena slowly moved her head from one side to the other. "No, Damon", she said. "You don´t understand. I. Could. Never. Love. You." Every word was brought across with cruel precocity. But she was not done. Far from it. This was her chance to make him loose control. It was now or never. Lying all the contempt, the hate, the fear of the last days in her words, Elena openly glared at him. "And it´s not even because I´m in love with Stefan. Which, by the way, I am. Not even because you´re a vampire. No, the real reason I could never love you, Damon, is because I simply cannot stand you. All you do is to destroy. You destroy everything around you. You taint it. You are incapable of being happy, so you want to destroy it for everyone else as well." She looked up at him with steel in her gaze. "The truth is, Damon, the simple thought of you being anywhere close to me, of you touching me, is nauseating. I am sickened by it. And I would rather die than having to be with you."

Her words were met with a tense silence. Elena only had to look at him to see that they had hit home. Damon´s hands were clenching and unclenching in a scary rhythm. His eyes were staring at her. When he spoke again, his voice was calm. Deadly. "This is how you feel?"

She tried not to be intimidated by him. "Yes, Damon, this is how I feel."

In a second, she was pressed against the wall of the office. Damon´s hand closed around her throat in a steel-like grip, making it almost impossible for her to breath. Elena felt the panic she had tried to suppress appear again with full force. Her hands found his and she tried desperately to loosen the hold he had on her. "Damon, I can´t breathe", she whimpered but Damon only laughed. "Why, Elena," he growled. "I thought you´d rather die than be with me. Right now, I´m almost inclined to grant your wish." This was not what Elena had planned to happen. Her eyes widened in panic and she doubled her struggle, tried to somehow get his hands away from her. It was useless, anyway.

After a while, she stopped moving, feeling exhausted. Her thoughts were groggy because of the lack of oxygen. She looked up at Damon with real fear shining in her eyes. Her mouth tried to form words, but it was difficult to voice them out loud with the way he was holding her. "Da…mon…please."

Damon didn't react and for a moment Elena felt almost sure that that was it. That it was her end. Right here and right now. She had been so sure that he wouldn´t kill her but maybe she had been wrong. Wrong again. She had been silly to think that killing her was beyond him. Hadn´t she learnt anything in the last days?

But just when she thought this, Damon suddenly loosened his grip. Elena felt herself collapsing, trying desperately to get some air into her. Her throat hurt like hell and every breath of air was torture. At the same time, it felt like heaven. She couldn´t believe how close she had been to death.

Damon allowed her a few second to catch her breath before his fingers tangled in her long her and cruelly pulled her up by it. She screamed. Within seconds his hand was on her mouth, effectively muffling the noises she was making.

"Ah, ah, Elena", he chided. "We wouldn´t want someone to hear us, do we?"

She looked up at him and for the first time she didn´t even think about disobeying. She slowly shook her head no. Her mouth clapped shut. Damon smiled at her. "Wise decision." Slowly he let his hand fall down, trusting her to be quiet.

For a moment he did nothing but look at her, then he sighed. "What am I going to do with you now, hm?" Elena didn´t thought he was expecting her to answer. "I´m sorry," she whispered carefully. Damon ignored it. He was still looking at her thoughtfully.

"You know, Elena, what you said was really bad. I have no other choice but to punish you."

Elena´s eyes widened. "No, Damon…that´s ridiculous."

He smirked. "Oh no, Elena, far from it. Hush now. There is nothing you can say to chance this situation." She pressed her lips together. Remained silent.

Carefully, Damon tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. His eyes seemed to fix on her neck that was still covered with the scarf. Before Elena had realized what he was doing, he had already skillfully untied the knot and discarded of it. His eyes scanned the bite wound he had left this morning. He smiled. "And I think, I know exactly what I want to do."

Elena´s heart pounced by hearing his words. He wanted to bite her again, she thought. Waves of relief were flooding her body. Up to now, nothing had gone according to plan. But suddenly the success of her plan seemed possible again.

She tried to put as much fear in her voice as possible. She knew it was essential that Damon didn´t realize that she wanted him to bite her. Her voice shook when she spoke again, and she was proud of it. "No, please, I´m sorry, Damon. Not again, please." He simply shook his head. "You put yourself in this situation. Maybe next time you´ll remember to keep that pretty mouth of yours shut and not make me this angry. Being angry always makes me so… hungry."

Elena gasped by hearing how crazy he sounded. She ducked and tried to slip away from him. In a second, he had caught her again. His hand tangled in her hair and pulled her head to the side, exposing her neck to him. "No, Damon, no!" she screamed. "You can´t do that to me!" He only laughed. For a moment, she could see his long canines, then he buried them in her neck, reopening the wound. Pain ripped through her. Elena screamed. In the next moment, she felt Damon´s hand covering her mouth just again, effectively silencing her. Without being able to stop it, Elena fought against his grip. The pain was excruciating, unbearable and even though she had wanted Damon to bite her, she had never expected how bad it would actually be. Her body jerked violently, and tears were streaming down her face in cascades. She realized that Damon was doing this to hurt her, to punish her. He wasn´t careful with her at all. Elena silently prayed that it would be over soon. Her body was full of vervain, he shut feel it in a moment, she reassured herself… but still Damon was drinking greedily from her, no sign of him weakening. Slowly, Elena feared that it wouldn´t work. That her clever plan had failed, that for some silly reason, Damon was immune to the vervain. Seconds ticked by and just when Elena was convinced that this had been the worst idea of her whole life, she heard Damon gasp. His teeth left her neck and he looked at her with big eyes. "What…", he started to ask, before he staggered. His eyes found hers. They were wide with surprise. His voice sounded weak. "What have you done?"

Elena pressed a hand against her neck, that was still bleeding violently. Her legs were shaking but she still glared at Damon. "I told you, I would not simply stand by and let you do these things to me. You were a fool to believe otherwise." She smiled at him. "And now, Damon, you´ve lost. I hope it sucks for you."

The anger that followed her words was ravaging. Elena was almost sure that he might have killed her if he wouldn´t be that weak. Angrily, he growled her. His eyes were red, his teeth long. She was looking in the face of the monster within him. Then he staggered again. He was making a painful sound before collapsing completely. Elena´s heart was beating painfully against her ribcage. She looked at Damon, who was lying completely still now and finally the panic, that she had tried to keep at bay the whole evening, overmanned her.