They both dropped their arms down to their sides as they entered the tavern, the look of a lovey dovey couple not really lending itself to whatever strong front they wanted to present. That being said, James remained close enough behind her as they walked in that if she stopped suddenly he'd be pressed up right against her back, so at least the front remained a united one. They'd barely been inside for five full seconds when her eyes met Jack's across the room as he spoke intently to Ada, and Theo didn't even have time to mutter an "oh, shit" to herself before he was striding towards her.
"Cannibals?" He barked the second he was within earshot "Cannibals, Byrne?! You don't think that might have required even a slight warning?"
"Captain-"
"Half me crew - gone!" He continued.
"The half who would've stolen your ship for themselv-"
"And Bootstrap! The Turkish prison - the coffin! None of this alluded to in the slightest. Woman or not, with any other Captain this would be a flogging if you were lucky, do you hear me?"
"Try it and you'll lose the hand that deals the blow," James threatened behind her.
"Oh move along mate, she's busy for toni-" Jack stopped short when his eyes landed on James and recognition finally flickered across his face…and then he regarded her with an utterly black look "Oh, you'd better be joking, love. If this was your business in Tortuga, I'll tell you right now you can start looking for a new captain because you'll never so much as set eyes on my ship again."
"Jack," she began, and upon the sharp warning look that earned her, she corrected herself "Captain."
Pressing her lips together, Theo dug her hand into her pocket and withdrew her black notebook and then continued.
"Your hundred souls, sir."
He blinked, stared at the book with a bemused expression for a moment and then plucked it from her hand.
"There's more than a hundred names here by my eye," he commented, scanning over them.
"I'm an overachiever."
"Hm," he gave a shrug, his anger dissipating with alarming speed "Well, you should've led with that - really, Dora, you do make things so very difficult at times. All right, come and let's have a drink, eh?"
"Before or after the flogging?"
He gave a crooked grin "What you and the good Commodore get up to in your own time really is none of my business, love."
James made a noise of disgust, and Theo took solace in that sign that there wasn't some secret BDSM monster lurking beneath the prim and proper facade.
"Former Commodore," James corrected lowly.
Jack made a face and then shrugged - mostly, Theo suspected, because he knew damn well that his lack of desire for an explanation on that score would only wind up James all the more. Her Captain was pretty good at that.
Gibbs was waiting at a table in the corner - the one Theo usually occupied, funnily enough, and when they reached it Jack brandished the notebook at him.
"Find them, recruit them, have them at The Pearl before sunrise."
"Aye, Cap'n. Miss Byrne," Gibbs nodded his greeting, although it was tinged with the usual suspicious wariness she always seemed to earn from the man - but then he turned to James, frowning before his eyes widened "By Christ - Commodore?"
"Not anymore, apparently," Jack said cheerily - like it was an errant piece of gossip and not a very big motivator that she knew had James wanting to shoot him where he now stood "Gibbs, the list. You can all lollygag and chat to your heart's content when Jones no longer wants my head, ey?"
Gibbs left at that, never one to disobey and order, and only once Theo took the seat he'd vacated did James slip into the one beside her, glaring at Jack all the while as he fell into the one opposite.
"James is coming with us," Theo said without preamble.
Jack was a master at drawing out even the simplest conversation into a migraine-inducing mess, so she figured if she wasn't as straight to the point as possible, they'd never get anywhere. Christ, it would be a miracle if they did as it was.
"I see," Jack nodded seriously, and she almost dared to hope that this would be easier than she thought…until he frowned and continued "And who is James?"
Theo sighed, her eyes fluttering closed in her exasperation. It was always so difficult to tell when he was being serious, and when he was just setting out to annoy.
"James Norrington, Captain," she clarified finally.
A glance towards said man found him continuing to glare at her Captain as though hoping to put him into the ground through sheer hatred alone. If anybody could manage it, it would be him. Jack frowned.
"Really? Could've sworn your name was Pete," he made a face "Is he to be one of the hundred souls, then?"
"Absolutely not," Theo and James answered at once.
"Then what business does he have in my crew?" Jack countered, leaning back in his chair "I'm touched that the two of you worked out your woes, love, truly I am - but if I let you bring him I set a dangerous precedent, savvy? I'd have to let everybody do the same or sow dissent in the crew, and the Pearl - great a ship as she may be - can't support that many harlots."
"Much to your dismay, I'm sure," James ground out.
Jack grinned as if to agree "So you can see, my hands are tied. What's left for me to do as the good, responsible Captain that I am?"
"Allow me on your crew, or I'll shoot you in the face," James said flatly.
The grin on Jack's face widened, and then shone with amusement when Theo's hand stayed James' - quite literally, flattening her palm atop his knuckles as he reached for his pistol.
"It has to happen, Jack," Theo said.
This time he didn't seem to have any problem with her use of his name, tilting his head as his dark eyes flickered between the two of them curiously "Does it now? Seems a trifle convenient, Dora."
"Yes, because my dream for every man I love is for them to be thrust into danger and peril at every turn," she replied drily.
James stilled now, but she kept her eyes on Jack even as he turned to face her in her peripheral vision. She knew it wasn't the danger part of her statement that had prompted that reaction.
"Danger and peril are the same thing, love," Jack said.
"My point still stands."
"Colour me an imbecile," Jack began.
"Gladly," said James.
Jack ignored him "…But I'm a little foggy as to what your point actually is these days, love. As I understood it, you were helping me and in return I was to secure your safe passage home…to Ireland."
The final bit was added as an afterthought, but she wasn't blind to the calculating glance he shot James' way as he said it.
"He knows," she said "Everything."
Her Captain's eyes lit up with interest then, but he turned his eyes back to her and continued his point "Be that as it may, with the two of you all loved up, it seems to me that your returning home is no longer a goal. Unless he intends to accompany you?"
James finally stopped glaring at Jack, hesitating and then turning to her. Evidently it was a prospect that hadn't crossed his mind until that moment.
"That's not possible," she answered simply.
Life would be a lot simpler if it was - if she could spirit the both of them away to the modern world it would eliminate the possibility of James dying and of her presence fucking up the eventual happy ending all in one. But even five minutes of thought proved it to be an impossibility, even if James was the type who would accept being shoved away from the action in such a way - one that he'd probably dub dishonourable.
"So the question begs to be asked even more - why should I trust you to hold up your end of the deal when mine is now inconsequential?"
"Because I'm invested," she offered "Because in the eyes of the law I'm just as much of a criminal as you are now. Hell, because I like you more than I like Beckett. We're all on the same side now."
James seemed as disturbed by that as Jack was reassured.
"Hear that?" Jack grinned at James, all the more gleeful for how much he knew the man loathed him "She likes me more than Beckett."
Theo resisted the very strong urge to point out that she liked James more than Jack. The thin set of James' lips suggested he was resisting that same urge - or maybe he was still considering his temptation of firing a bullet in the pirate's face at close range. Perhaps one, and then the other.
"James has to come with us, Jack. It has to happen - convenient or not. I got you your souls, didn't I?"
"And you? How do you feel about serving under the man who outwitted you and lost you your commission?"
It appeared he'd connected those dots pretty well himself. Or Will had told him.
"Jack."
"Were it not for what Theodora has told me, I'd kill you where you stand now," James replied flatly.
"Not much incentive for me to bring you along then, is it?" Jack shrugged.
"If he doesn't go, I don't go," she said.
"And if I said that was fine by me?" Jack challenged.
She had the impression that he was asking more out of curiosity than anything else - genuinely wondering what the consequence of such a choice would be rather than threatening to make that decision.
"That would be detrimental for you," she said "A fact - not a threat."
"I'm not sure I could find the quarters for him - I'm about to take on a hundred new souls, you know."
Now he was being difficult for the sake of it.
"He can share my quarters."
"Can he? My, my," Jack replied.
"Oh, spare us," James bit out.
"It's not like that - we're not…we're…" she was at risk of spluttering now, and felt ridiculous for the heat she could feel rising to her cheeks.
"Married?" Jack seemed faintly disgusted by the prospect.
"No," she sighed, shaking her head "We just…"
At her side, James said nothing but she knew the reason for his silence - defining their relationship was her call, so long as he had the reassurance that she was serious about this.
"Betrothed?" Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Sure," she sighed with a shrug - it would do for now, and seemed the best way to even give her the hope that Jack might be inclined to let them stay together.
"All right."
"All right?"
"All right," Jack nodded "But you're responsible for him."
"I'm not a stray dog," James said.
"Make sure he's fed, watered, doesn't soil the deck, that sort of thing, yes?"
Theo strongly resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose "Sure."
"And you," Jack turned to James now, and she was very worried by the smug gleam in his eye "Anything you do to disobey me, to spite me, to betray me, sod it - even just to vaguely annoy me…"
James waited patiently for the threat, one dark eyebrow slowly twitching upwards.
"She," Jack pointed to her "Gets punished for."
Yeah. There it was.
"Deal," Theo said immediately.
"Ah," Jack held up a finger, eyes not leaving James "He has to agree to this one, love, fascinating as it is to see who wears the captain's hat in this charming little understanding of yours."
Nobody could ever argue that Jack wasn't as smart as he was bizarre. If James didn't agree to this, it showed up any intentions he had for being aboard the Pearl as less than stellar - and while Theo knew her assurances might've been enough to have him no longer seeking to shoot Jack then and there (which was already a miracle in and of itself), she wasn't about to delude herself into thinking that revenge in some form or another had been put out of his mind entirely. It wasn't a deal he'd enjoy making even had his intentions been stellar, there was a whole lot of grey area in terms of what may or may not annoy Jack, but under these circumstances? The flare of James' nostrils told Theo all she needed to know about what he thought of Jack's deal.
She squeezed his hand with the one that still lay atop his, her request silent. Please.
"Fine," his lip curled in disgust as he said it.
"Fantastic!" Jack clapped his hands together "We depart as soon as possible, so I suggest you start packing up the little love nest as soon as. Oh, and Dora, before I forget…"
Digging a hand into the inside pocket of his coat, he produced a small cloth pouch and threw it down onto the table before her.
"I'm a man of my word too, love - a gift from Tia Dalma."
"Tia Dalma?" She echoed, staring warily at the pouch.
"Didn't even have to bring you up meself, she did it for me. She said - and I had to learn this part off by heart so listen closely - that you are 'outside of her jurisdiction', but that this should help you acquire the answers you seek all the same."
Theo continued to eye the offering, trepidation warring with curiosity, both combining to leave her with a heavy feeling in her chest. Finally, only after she became aware of the two sets of eyes burning into her, she slid her hand onto the table and took up the pouch. There was nothing to signal what was inside - no rattling, no movement, nothing. She slid it into the pocket that had previously housed her notebook.
"Right. Well, thanks," she said "Are we dismissed?"
"For now," Jack's interest was waning with every step Ada took towards the table, a grin on her face.
So taken aback was Theo by the pouch that now rested heavily in her pocket that she was standing and making to leave when she remembered something pretty damn important.
"Oh - we, erm, we can't leave until someone else shows up."
"We can't?" Jack raised an eyebrow.
"A reunion of sorts - you'll know them when you see them, don't worry."
While there might not have been any harm in telling him outright that it was Elizabeth, she did worry that he'd try to avoid the woman altogether if only out of fear for his beloved rum.
"How very vague and unhelpful."
"Yeah, well, that's me," she replied "I'll go and get ready to leave."
She took no offense to the fact that he already found Ada miles more fascinating than her, for she felt the same way about the gift from Tia Dalma…and the look on James' face that told her they had much to discuss once they were in private.
"Thank you," she sighed once he'd closed the door behind them.
"For what?"
"For not murdering Jack."
"I can't make any promises to maintain that spotless record," he replied sourly "I can't help but think he can't exact whatever punishment he promised if he's no longer with us."
"Oh, if anybody could find a way Jack could."
The sharp way he exhaled through his nose gave away the fact that he didn't find that prospect as funny as she did.
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?"
"When you referred to us as betrothed."
Theo paused.
"I…don't know," she answered finally "Are we?"
"I asked you first," he gave her a look filled with rueful patience.
"I mean, you haven't exactly asked. Not really."
"Because I knew not whether the question would be a welcome one," he confessed gently.
The idea that she could possibly make the great James Norrington nervous had no business being as adorable as it was. And the earnestness with which he spoke was more than enough to jolt her out of her go-to comfort strategy of joking her way out of any conversation.
"It's…it's complicated," she sighed.
"You don't say," he said, but with enough humour to have her defenses slowly lowering "And here I thought navigating a three-century time difference would be easy."
Giving him an amused look, she heaved another sigh and sat down at the edge of the bed.
"I mean…I wouldn't say we're courting?" She offered "Not if courting is what dating is back home. It's not like I'm sat here weighing up my options and trying to decide if I'm fond of you or not."
"I'm relieved to hear it."
It was that heartwarming revelation that had him joining her, lowering himself to sit beside her on the bed.
"Back home we'd have been in a relationship - living together, easily. I mean, we kind of jumped the gun on that one as it was," she said, earning a tired huff of laughter "So if that's what betrothed means here, then sure I guess? But if that also means that we have to have twelve babies in the next eight years and I have to spend the rest of my life…I don't know, embroidering and fannying about with curtains then absolutely not."
James blinked "I'm unsure as to whether I should be flattered or intimidated when it comes to your assumptions regarding my virility."
"Is now a bad time to tell you that quintuplets run in my family?" She deadpanned.
He laughed, and she found herself laughing along with him.
"I would not ask that of you," he said finally "I certainly share your trepidation, if it's of any comfort. The time is not right - for any of it. For anything at all, really. These are tumultuous times. I've no wish to marry you in a chapel in Tortuga, nor to bring a child into any of this…Even with Jones out of the equation, we're still left with Beckett and his warrants to contend with."
It was funny how he could say the word virility with nary a blush but go pink at the idea of them having a child. Although it was reassuring, too, considering if it was something he spoke about with great enthusiasm she'd probably run for the hills there and then.
"You're the only man I could ever imagine marrying," she offered "And I might pity any man who had to follow you, but that would suggest that there would be one…and I don't think there would. Don't think there could be."
If this all went truly tits up, something she did her best not to think about, she couldn't fathom going home and…what? Downloading a dating app? Going on like none of this had ever happened? In any case, her own amusement over his shyness came back to haunt her when she found that she couldn't quite look at him as she made her confession. But his hand found hers, and then she relaxed.
"What did the witch give you?" He asked after a few moments.
Shifting so that she could ease the pouch out of her pocket, she let go of his hand so she could open it and then peered inside.
"Christ," she snorted "Mushrooms."
"Mushrooms?" He echoed disbelievingly.
"Magic ones, by the looks of things - and not in the way you'd think," she muttered "It appears I'm going on a trip."
Well. This was going to be fun.
A/N: Coming up — our heroes set off on their next adventure, Elizabeth returns, and Theo does drugs. Fun times.
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