DISCLAIMER: Um… Not mine? No owny Lupin… 'Kay?
Hello there!
Well, it's not exactly two weeks since my last update, so I'm getting back on track with my updating, huh? I've been busy as usual, but I recently have gotten my inspiration back, thanks to 'Yuki', who this chapter is also dedicated to, for doing things for me which I will be forever grateful for.
Fun Fact of Boredom: All right, you probably figured out that Leo LeBlanc's named after Maurice LeBlanc, at least partially, right? Well, his cousin, Victor Lupin, is named after none other than Victor Hugo, another French novelist.
'Ring my friend I said you'd call Doctor Robert,
Day or night he'll be there anytime at all,
Doctor Robert,
Doctor Robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand,
He does ev'rything he can, Doctor Robert.'
—The Beatles, 'Doctor Robert'
Chapter Five
The Next Day: Witch Doctor
Paris, France:
"So, you kids have a good night?" Dakota asked slyly as Max and Leo trudged out of their rooms. She had busied herself at making breakfast, and looked up from the stovetop as both seated themselves at the kitchen table.
"I still smell like grape juice…" Leo yawned, "I'm still tired, too… You think on a day off I'd finally have caught up on some sleep…"
"It's those damn incubus dreams you keep having…" Max responded wearily.
"Huh?"
"Night terrors… I did some reading on it last night…" Max answered, "I found the name of a good psychiatrist for you… You're going to him today…"
"What?" Leo yelped.
"You're so paranoid of women you can barely look at a Sports Illustrated and you keep having those dreams…. You need to see someone, LeBlanc," Zenigata answered. "I'm driving you down today… You can catch the bus home."
"You can't do that!" Leo shrieked.
"Too bad," Max said quickly. "Hey, you little brat, get me some coffee…"
"Do I look like your maid?" snapped Dakota.
"Get me my coffee now or I turn you in to the cops!" snapped Max.
"Leo, tell him he can't!" Dakota moaned.
"Both of you, quiet, now!" Leo yelled quickly.
A Hotel Room in Paris:
Ally sighed as he looked down at the photograph he held in his hand. It was one of himself and Carmen… It was during the first time they were supposed to get married, "What the hell's wrong with me?" he wondered aloud, "She's a great girl, why can't I just…?" He stopped in mid-sentence and smiled at the ad on the television, "A shrink who can solve any problem, neh? And he speaks English? Maybe… Well, for her, anything!" he laughed, and grabbed a phone by the bed.
That Evening, the Leo and Max's apartment:
"Leo's home!" Dakota said excitedly as she watched Leo walk off the bus and onto the sidewalk.
"I wonder how his appointment went…" Max wondered out loud.
Dakota raised her eyebrow as Leo reached over and grabbed a woman by the hand, and began to speak to her, "… I think well…"
Max gave a small cold glare, and turned away from the window, "Hpmh, guess so…"
"Hey, how's everyone doing?" Leo asked cheerily as he entered the apartment, "Max, you look great today, have I told you that? You've really got a glow about you today, Zenigata… And Dakota, what have you been up to today, huh? Probably something really constructive and useful—You're such a smart kid, did you know that?"
"….I'm gonna let you take this…." Dakota said after a pause, turning and walking into the laundry room.
"Um, seems like your appointment went… Extremely well, Leo…" Max said, somewhat uncomfortably.
"Yeah, sure did… Hey, Beautiful, why don't you help me with dinner, eh?" Leo suggested.
"Um… I've got to go do a load of laundry…." Max replied, and slowly inched his way into the laundry room. He found Dakota playing a game of solitaire on the small table in the laundry room, "Something's really wrong with him, I know it…"
"You think it's the shrink?" Dakota inquired.
"It's gotta be…" Max answered, "What do you think we should do?"
"Why in the hell are you asking me?" Dakota said with a sneer. "Okay, okay… I say we give it the night… Besides, this guy's probably closed by now… We just need to hold out until then…"
"All right," Max nodded, "and if I have to go back out there, you do, too."
"Hey, I'm not the one he called 'Beautiful'…"
"Eh, you heard that?"
"Yeah, and I would've given all of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards to see your face…" Dakota answered as she rose from her card table and walked back out with Max.
Leo was preparing things for dinner when they walked out, whistling to himself as he did so, "Oh, hey, guys! Dakota, you want to finish setting the table, Honey, okay?"
"Umm… Sure…" Dakota said slowly, and briefly met Max's line of vision as she went to setting the table.
A little later that night, a Paris hotel:
Ally stared down at the pills. They were from the psychiatrist's visit earlier that day… He had never liked taking any sort of medication, so that's why he had put off taking them most of the day.
"What're those, Ally?" asked Heiji as Ishikawa walked into their hotel room.
"Pills from a shrink…" Ally answered, "I went earlier today… He gave me these… The weird thing is that it was such a quick visit… I mean, I was there less than an hour, and he's got a prescription for me!"
"How about you let me take a look at those, Ally?" Heiji suggested.
"Yeah, I'd feel better if you did…" Ally admitted, and tossed the bottle to Heiji.
"This label's bogus, I can tell you that off the bat…" Heiji said as he studied the bottle, "I'll be back…" he walked out of the room, and down the hall a few steps to Yukiko and Toshiro's room. He knocked on the door, and held the bottle in front of Toshiro after his brother had opened the door, "You broke up plenty of drug busts in NYC; I need to know if you know what these are. Are they illegal, are they deadly?"
Toshiro took the bottle, and walked with Heiji back into his room. He opened the bottle, and studied the pills. "….Where'd you find these?"
"Al had them," replied Heiji. "Why? Are they bad?"
"Very," Toshiro replied. "They're hallucinogens… I busted a Columbian drug ring four years ago that was peddling these…"
"Hey, um, I'm not an advocate for drugs or anything, but what's wrong with these?" asked Heiji, "I mean, sure, who hasn't done a hallucinogen, whether it be out of free will or just a freak accident at a Christmas party?"
"These things can make people take risks they usually wouldn't take… If Ally took enough of these, he wouldn't think twice about stepping in front of a train," Toshiro answered. "This stuff's bad… It's worse than being drunk, except your coordination remains intact… It's like it totally kills your judgment."
"Holy crap…" said Heiji, wide-eyed, "Could you imagine giving one of those to Fuji?"
"She'd probably give Ryo a lap dance…" Toshiro replied.
"Just like that movie…. What?"
"How lonely is your world?"
"I don't need women to make me happy," Heiji responded.
"Are you sure you're not a Jigen?" asked Toshiro.
"Who the hell knows," shrugged Heiji in response.
"Well, anyway, flush these down the toilet, and find out how Ally came across these, all right?" Toshiro instructed, shuffling all of the pills back into their container and then going into the bathroom to wash his hands of the residue.
Heiji did as Toshiro instructed, and returned a short time later with the address of the psychiatrist. He had almost had to sedate Ally, who grew very angry when he found out what he had almost taken. It was well known that Jigen detested all forms of drugs. Toshiro and Yukiko went down to the said address to investigate.
The building was square, with glass paneling with lettering upon it that read, 'Dr. V. Lauren, PhD.'.
"I'm half-tempted to shoot out his windows," Yukiko admitted as she dismounted Toshiro's Vespa.
"Well, if he isn't the loon I'm positive he is, maybe he could give you something for your smoking…." Toshiro said with a smirk.
"Don't remind me," said Yukiko with a sneer. "I'd do Zenigata for a cigarette right now…"
"Which one?"
"I don't care," she admitted with a shake of the head as they entered the building. They walked up to the receptionist, who took one look at them, at Toshiro's samurai outfit and red hair and Yukiko's masculine white suit, and led them into the psychiatrist's office immediately.
"Hello!" said Dr. Lauren as the two entered, "Ah, a couple, excellent! Now, do what do I owe the pleasure? Why have you two come here today?"
"Because you're a—" Yukiko started, but Toshiro quickly held her back and smiled.
"She's afraid of commitment, obsessed with work, paranoid, feels she has to keep up her father's legacy, and is afraid of showing any sort of femininity," Toshiro said.
"What?" Yukiko shrieked, "Well, you're brooding, jealous, afraid to show affection and has serious family issues!"
"Only as bad as yours…"
"Your mother poisoned me!" snapped Yukiko.
"…I see we have some serious issues to work with… Why don't you both take a seat?" Dr. Lauren instructed, "Now, let's begin with you, Ma'am… What was your childhood like?"
"I lived with my mom until I was six and she faked her own death. She sent me to live with my father, but I didn't know this guy was my father until about two weeks later. He tried to leave me after he found out he was going blind, but his friends tracked him down. He married a woman half his age who also had tried to kill him at one point. She gave him five children. One's a race car driver, one's a martial artist, one's a psychotic ex-cop, and the other two are twin babies," said Yukiko in a long string of speech which surprised Toshiro and also the psychiatrist, it was apparent.
"And you, Sir?" he inquired, turning to Toshiro.
"Who, me? I had a fairly normal childhood…"
"Please," Yukiko snorted, "you didn't see a TV until you were eight…"
Toshiro glared at her, "I'm not going to go on some long spiel about how awful my life was…"
"Fine, I'll do it for you, then," snapped Yukiko. She turned to the psychiatrist and began, "He's the bastard son of two warring clans. His uncle kidnapped him when he was two, and he grew up thinking his father was his older brother. He moved to New York and fell in love with his caretaker who was seven years older than him and she was pregnant with his child when his biological mother killed her. He was known as the Robin Hood of New York, because he stole from the rich and gave to the poor, because he's such a friggin' cowboy…"
"You make it sound like I had an unstable childhood!" snapped Toshiro.
"Because you did," replied Yukiko, "you were screwed up for years about it, and you still are…"
"….I see we have some dominancy issues, here," said the psychiatrist.
"Say what?" Yukiko blinked a few times in wonder.
"See, I'm not the only one who thinks it…" said Toshiro, folding his arms and closing his eyes in meditation.
"You're quite overpowering," said Dr. Lauren to Yukiko.
"My ass! I have to be because he's such a damn passive—"
"Only because you're so dominant!" Toshiro finished.
"I take it you're both conflicting blood types…" said Dr. Lauren.
Toshiro stopped and looked at Dr. Lauren suspiciously, "How do you know after blood types? That's a Japanese thing…"
"I see programs on cable sometimes!" replied Dr. Lauren without skipping a beat.
"Oh, were you watching what he was last night?" Yukiko inquired of the doctor, nodding towards Toshiro, who had gone pale at this.
"I'm quite positive…." nodded Dr. Lauren.
Yukiko smiled widely, "I didn't know you were a fan of Naughty Night Nurses, Doc…"
"The batteries to my remote died!" snapped Toshiro, who had flushed at this, "I wouldn't watch crap like that on purpose!"
"I guess we weren't watching the same program, then! I was watching Speed Racer…" replied Dr. Lauren, "But, anyway… You two have some serious issues with relationships, I can see… Here, come with me, I'll give you a prescription."
Both rose, and Toshiro leaned in to whisper to Yukiko as they walked a good distance away from Dr. Lauren, "Great way to play along, Yuki! I was starting to believe everything you were saying myself!"
"What in the hell are you talking about?" asked Yukiko with a whisper.
"Well, he sees we're both a little off, so now he's taking us to where he gets his pills, so we can come back—"
Yukiko smiled and laughed, "You sneaky bastard!"
"Now, I suggest you both stay here for a few hours after you take these. You won't be in any condition to drive," said Dr. Lauren. "I've had two stubborn patients today who wouldn't stay."
"Well, what the heck?" Yukiko asked, turning to Toshiro and shrugging. They watched as Dr. Lauren went into a steel cabinet in a storage room, and he retrieved two small plastic cups, each with a white pill in it. Toshiro looked to Yukiko, Yukiko looked to Toshiro, and both took the pills and downed them.
Later, a comfortable looking room in the psychiatrist's office:
"How're they doing?" Dr. Lauren asked as he viewed Yukiko and Toshiro in their comfortable room via hidden camera.
"Well, they've been singing for the past half hour…" said the cameraman.
"Good… We'll have those two S.O.B.'s so drugged up they won't think twice about jumping off of the roof of this place!" Dr. Lauren chuckled in an eerily familiar tone, and turned to leave, "Well, I'm going to go check on my patients, now…"
The Hotel room:
"Thanks," Heiji said as he hung up his cell phone and turned back to Fuji, "That Dr. Lauren—Not registered anywhere…"
Fuji nodded and shifted her place in her chair, "I'm wondering who this guy is, then…"
"He just appeared out of nowhere!" answered Heiji with a confused shrug as he looked down at his laptop, "But there're ships coming in from Columbia tonight… You think they've got drugs?"
Fuji smiled widely, "Well, there's one way to find out, how isn't there?" she jumped up and smiled, "Ryo-san, get your wet suit!"
"…Why?" asked Ryo, looking away from the black and white cowboy movie on the television. Odori was sitting on the couch next to Ryo, not to watch the movie, but to eat the popcorn.
"A ship?" Odori set the popcorn down and smiled, "Perfect for Zantetsuken!"
"Nah-ah, don't think about it, Mommy," said Fuji, holding a hand out in front of Odori. "You don't need to worry about a cargo ship; you're carrying your own cargo."
"I'll take Zantetsuken if you want, Dori," said Heiji.
"But I don't want you to…. I want to go… Someone almost sold Ally drugs, and any noble samurai who knows anything about the bushido knows that it's only within code to track down the perpetrators…"
"Odori, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Fuji's absolutely right—You should stay here," Ryo added.
"Yeah, you can guard this, Odori," Fuji said with a smile, handing the samurai a wooden box. "It's very important, but you can't open it, and you can't let anyone else, either. It's got a poison gas trap that triggers when you open it."
"What does it contain?" Odori inquired, taking the box and studying it carefully.
"Ancient scrolls from the… Bushi Clan…" said Fuji.
"The Bushi Clan? I'm not familiar with them, and I trained dozens of clansmen…" said Odori, puzzled.
"Well, they're a secret ninja society, who hates your clan, that's why! They refuse to train with you, because you're a woman!" said Fuji.
"Those incompetent dogs!" Odori snarled, "Of course I will keep this safe, Fuji! I won't let those fiends lay a single finger upon this treasure while I'm alive!"
"Terrific. Now, Ally, Heiji, you two get the oxygen tanks out…" Fuji instructed.
"Why us?" asked Ally.
"Because you're boys," said Fuji with a wink. "Now, c'mon, let's get going…"
Leo and Max's Apartment:
Dinner was bizarre. Neither Max nor Dakota knew exactly what their stew was made out of, but whole boiled eggs and large chunks of celery were present. Now both exchanged uncomfortable glances as Leo laughed to himself.
"Hey, I'm gonna go get the desert!" Leo said with a cheery ring as he exited.
Dakota leaned inward to Max, "This is really scary… I think that there's a full crawfish floating around in my soup…"
Max forked through the thick mixture a little, and grimaced, "I think I've got a mini pancake…."
"Leo's not in his right mind, Zenigata, and I say we call a truce until this is over. I don't like you, and you don't like me, but it's the only way…"
"Well, he's on some kinda happy right now, so, definitely," Max shook her hand, and both watched as Leo exited the kitchen with omelets.
"Who wants some?" Leo asked brightly.
The psychiatrist's office:
"I really can't stay…" Yukiko started as she laid upon a psychiatrist's couch.
"But baby it's cold outside," Toshiro added as he sat on the floor of the same office.
"I've got to go away…"
"But baby it's cold outside…"
"This evening has been…"
"Been hoping that you'd drop in…"
"So very nice…"
"I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice…"
"My mother will start to worry…"
"How are my two favorite patients doing, hm?" Dr. Lauren asked as he opened the door of the room and looked at Yukiko and Toshiro.
"Freakin' terrific, Doc!" said Yukiko with a laugh, "Hey, you know what's funny?"
"The word armadillo?" asked Toshiro.
"Yeah, yeah, that… And the walls… I mean, you ever just look at the walls? Aren't they… Wow…" Yukiko chuckled wildly, and covered her laughter with her fedora, which she hid her face with.
Dr. Lauren smiled, "Well, you two seem good enough to go… Here's a supply for you both, and be sure to take the entire bottle now…"
Toshiro rose and walked over to the doctor, "Do we come back after we're done?"
"I don't think that will be necessary," answered Dr. Lauren with a shake of the head.
"Well, good bye for now, Doc!" Yukiko slapped Dr. Lauren hard on the back, and both exited.
Toshiro spit the pill he had kept under his tongue into the gutter as he walked out of the office with Yukiko, "If I had to sing one more duet…"
"I would've gone crazy for real!" Yukiko completed, "That guy's a friggin' freak…"
"Yeah… You've got the pills?" Toshiro inquired as he climbed onto his Vespa.
"Right here," Yukiko replied, holding up the bottle.
It was then that a man on a bicycle sped by, knocking into Yukiko. Yukiko gave a stunned look at she leaned upon the Vespa, and Toshiro immediately grew concerned, "Yukiko, are you all right? Did he hurt you?"
"Um… Not good…" said Yukiko worriedly.
"What's not good?" asked Toshiro.
"I swallowed by pill…" replied Yukiko, looking up at Toshiro gravely.
The hotel room, later:
Odori's eyes flashed open at the sound of laughter and falling. She quickly rose from the couch, and looked down at the box once more before taking her place by the door. She swung Zantetsuken's sheath as the door opened, by was shocked as someone strong grabbed hold of it. Toshiro glared at her, and Yukiko laughed loudly.
"What's up with her?" asked Odori.
"She swallowed one of Doctor Crazy's happy pills…" replied Toshiro. He lifted Yukiko up, and walked into one of the bedrooms, "Where are the others?"
"They went to go check out a ship," answered Odori. "Fuji left me to guard a treasure which she has acquired recently."
"Huh… Um… Okay…" said Toshiro slowly as he laid eyes upon the box, "I'm going to put our little pill popper to bed…"
"I'll look after her as well, if you wish," said Odori from the living room.
"That's all right. I need to be up with her until she gets this out of her system. I don't want you trying to fight her off, Odori."
"I'm not helpless, you know," snapped Odori with annoyance. "I'm sick of everyone thinking I've lost my fighting skills because I've put on a little weight."
"It's more than a little weight, Odori," said Toshiro, "that's someone that's relying on you to keep them safe. You're the yojimbo (samurai bodyguard) of that baby, and, more importantly, you're its mother."
"Hm, I didn't think you knew any Japanese anymore," said an obviously impressed Odori.
"Ha ha…. Very, very funny," said Toshiro with a roll of the eyes as he laid Yukiko down on her bed and rolled her out of her dress jacket. "God, this is worse than you going and getting drunk without me!"
Yukiko gave another laugh, "Hey, you've got a good idea!"
"Huh?" before Toshiro could inquire anymore, Yukiko kissed him. "…How come it's always when you're out of your mind that you seem to like me?" asked Toshiro with a sigh, "Come on, let me get your gun and holster off of you, Yuki…"
"I'll bet you say that to all of the girls…." Yukiko trailed off, and soon was snoring.
"And she bitches about how she'll have to take care of me if we get married," he said with a roll of the eyes.
A Shipping Port:
"You guys are there," said Heiji through the microphone as he looked over the layout of the ship on his laptop in his care, which was parked about three blocks away from the actual docks.
"Great. Thanks, Heiji-chan," said Fuji through the other end.
A gun shot through a lock on a door of the ship, and three figures in wet suits entered, the only male of the three looking about to check and see if the coast was clear before the other two ventured any further.
Fuji removed her mask and breathing apparatus, and looked down either side of the hall, "All right, Heij, where to now?"
"Take a left," replied Heiji. "Crap…"
"What's wrong?" Fuji asked worriedly, stopping dead in her tracks.
"I lost another game of solitaire," answered Heiji with a discontented sigh.
"I'm glad you think you're funny, Heiji," said Ryo coolly. "All right, let's get going…"
"Just hold me back from those bastards…" said Ally with a snarl.
"I'm starting to think we should've left you in the car, Ally-kun," said Fuji with worry as she stalked down the hall with the two Jigen siblings.
"They'll regret ever tangoing with Daisuke Allen Jigen…" grumbled Ally, balling his fists tightly.
"Shh… Quiet, both of you," Ryo ordered, stopping in the hall. "There's someone coming…"
"Well, you guys know what that means," Fuji smiled widely, and lowered the zipper of her wet suit, and jumped out at the guards. "Hey, boys, get a load of these!"
Both guards ducked out of the way as Fuji threw the two bombs she carried, one in either hand, and she also ducked out of the way, "Come on, we need to get the hell out of here and upstairs!" she took off into a run, the two following behind. Fuji suddenly came to a stop, and Ryo slammed into her, followed by Ally.
"Ow… Both of you get off of me!" grumbled Fuji quietly.
"Hey, who's talking?" asked Ally quietly.
"That's what I'm trying to find out…" Fuji finished unzipping her wet suit, removed a mask from a hidden compartment in a belt she carried about her wet suit, and she soon look like an average shipmate.
"Heh, good look for you, Fuji…" said Ryo with amusement.
Fuji gave a short glare, and turned to the door, "Watch my ass, okay?"
"Well, every other guy does it, so what the hell?" Ally chuckled.
Fuji rolled her eyes, and turned back towards the door where the talking originated from. She slunk it, and gasped, "Victor…"
"Huh?" Victor Lupin shot his head up, and chomped on his cigarette, "Who are you? What in the hell are you doing in here?"
"Came to let you know that dinner was ready, Sir," said Fuji, saluting.
"I ate already," snapped Victor. He squinted, and leaned inward, "…Do I know you?"
"I'm not sure," answered Fuji with a shake of the head. "Perhaps, I mean, I've—"
"Well, it doesn't matter… Soon I won't be screwing with any of you sewer rats," said Victor with a wave of the hand as he walked back over to a desk with a booklet upon it. Fuji smirked as she laid eyes upon the booklet. She didn't understand the writing, but she could tell it was important to Victor by the way he hovered about it.
"Sir!" another crew member scrambled into Remy's office, "There's a fire on deck!"
"What?" Victor growled, "Damn it! Freakin' idiots!" he stormed out, and Fuji chuckled quietly as he did so.
"Thanks, Heiji…" she chuckled as she stuffed the booklet down her shirt and exited.
Outside:
"Not bad… Not bad at all…" said Heiji as he watched the blaze quickly spread over the deck. He was sitting in the Alfa Romeo, the bow still in his hands and the extra arrows with gasoline wrapped cloths wrapped about the tips on the floorboard. He quickly sped away to a safe distance, and met with Ally, Fuji and Ryo a few blocks away from the pier.
"So it's that bastard, neh?" Ally said darkly.
"You should've let me shoot him, Fuji," said Ryo.
"Hey, here's a list of patients he's seen!" said Fuji quickly as she scanned through the book, "…Oh, no…"
"What's up, Fuji?" asked Heiji.
"Leo LeBlanc is on this list… God, I hope he hasn't taken any of those pills!" said Fuji worriedly.
"We've got to go get him, then!" said Ryo.
"And have Zenigata arrest us? No, thanks. Besides, we've got bigger things to worry about right now…" said Fuji.
"Like what? What could be more important than the life of your brother?" asked Ryo.
"How about my own life? If Odori opens that box, she's going to find out that all that's in there is a bottle of Flintstone's Vitamins!" answered Fuji.
"We'll take care of all of this in good time, but I agree with both of you… We need to check on Leo, and we need a plan," said Ally.
"I'm surprised you just don't want to go in there and kill him, Ally," Heiji admitted.
"What do you think my plan is?" Ally inquired.