First story here on FF . net. This fic is a little dark, really sad, but worth reading. Review, my dears! Review! On with the story.
Disclaimer: Someday, I shall win the lottery and buy Inuyasha. But for now… I will only be the average rabid fangirl who enjoys writing about her beloved Inu-kun
Dead
" This. Can't. Be. Fucking. Happening." Inuyasha ground out between his teeth. Naraku had escaped them, yet again.
Kagome peered at him through her bangs from across the fire. She sighed. Yes, she was frustrated too, but…
"We were so close! So frikkin'- Argh!" unable to express his anger through words, Inuyasha made a few violent gestures in the air as to display what he wanted to do to Naraku. "I had my hands on him, damnit! If only-" He deflated there, plopping his chin into this hands and pouted.
Kagome got up and sat down beside him. Sango and Miroku had taken Shippou and Kirara with them as soon as they realized that Inuyasha was about to lapse into one of his OMG-I-could-have-gotten-the-bastard-but-arrghhhhh-rants. Their excuse was something about stocking up supplies at a nearby village.
"Inuyasha," She began, searching for her words carefully. If she was lucky, she could get him out of this by the time supper rolled around. "I know we were close – "
"Damn right we were!"
"Shhh! Let me talk."
Inuyasha put his chin in his hands again and resumed his sulking.
"As I was saying," Kagome rolled her eyes and continued as patiently as she could. She had learned over time that getting mad at him will only make it worse. "If we were so close this time, it means that next time we will have him for sure!" She smiled and patted him softly but firmly on his shoulder.
A long, but not uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Kagome leaned back and gazed at the steadily darkening sky. She had always loved dusk. It just soothed her somehow. People would always guess that her favourite time of the day was morning, or noon; something bright and cheery that matched her personality. If only they knew…Kagome mused to herself.
"How do you do it?" Inuyasha's sudden broke the silence and took her by surprise.
"Hm? Do what?" She glanced at him through the corners of her eyes.
"Stay so happy, so – so- optimistic all the time?" Inuyasha waved this hand around to emphasize his meaning. "I mean," He continued, seeing the confusion on Kagome's face. "I would never give up on catching Naraku and bashing his fucking brains in, but I can't bring myself to be so happy all the time while trying to get him."
"Oh, that." Kagome looked back at the sky. "I… I don't know."
"You don't know? Whaddya mean, you don't know?"
Kagome sighed.
"I guess… being sad just kind of feels like defeat to me. As if whoever who made me sad had broken me somehow. It's as if I'm admitting defeat." She turned to face him, smiling the way she always does. "Know what I mean now?"
"Feh."
Kagome sat back and shook her head. She was stupid to hope that Inuyasha was actually carrying out a slightly intelligent conversation with her.
"I should make supper…" She muttered as she stood up and reached towards her abused yellow school bag.
"Oi, wench."
"What?"
"Promise me something."
"What?"
"That you'll never admit broken-ness or what ever you just said."
Kagome laughed softly.
"Okay."
Inuyasha knew something was wrong the moment Kagome appeared at the bottom of the well. The smell of her tears hit him full force like a punch in the gut. He leapt down and gathered the sobbing girl into his arms. He jumped back out and without thinking, brought them under the Goshinku. He plunked them both down and settled the distressed miko in his lap, trying – but failing miserably – to calm her. Did he ever mention that he HATED IT when women cried? He stroked her hair awkwardly and made soothing sounds that he remembered hearing a mother make to her crying babe.
"Mother… Souta… Gramps…" Kagome managed to force out through her sobs.
"What happened to them? Kagome, breathe. Tell me what happened."
The next word that came out of Kagome's mouth made Inuyasha's eyes widen and his hand freeze in the middle of the motion of running his fingers through Kagome's hair.
"Dead."
"What!" Miroku, Sango and Shippou stared at Inuyasha in disbelief. Even Kirara perked up her ears and opened an eye. Inuyasha sighed at rested his head on top of Kagome's. He had been able to lull her into a fitful sleep and didn't want to risk waking her up by moving her.
"Yeah, you heard what I said."
"But… but how?" Sango sputtered.
"How the fuck am I supposed to know? She just came back crying her eyes out about her family being dead." Inuyasha growled.
"Poor Kagome…" Shippou jumped down from his place on Miroku's shoulder and gave Kagome a gentle hug. He knew what it was like to be happy with his parents one day and be completely alone the next. Oh, cruel, cruel world.
Inuyasha stood up and started to walk out of the hut that Kaede had provided for them. "I'm taking Kagome with me tonight." He offered as a curt explanation and walked out into the darkness.
"Ah, wonder what they are going to do." Miroku drawled in his lecherous voice and wiggled his eyebrows at Sango.
Who in turn, glared at him and kicked him swiftly in the shins hissing "How dare you think about something like that now?"
Inuyasha carried Kagome on to the Goshiku and settled down where the trunk split of into the branches. Hopefully the tree was willing to lend her some peace tonight. He wrapped the blanket he brought around both of them. Even a warm summer night like this can get pretty chilly. For a human, that is.
Kagome clung to him tightly even in sleep, as if he too, would die if she let go. Her breathing was warm and even against his neck, but her expression gave away her grief. The moonlight showed the streaks that her tears had made on her cheeks and her lips were parted, allowing her to breath as her nose was probably plugged from her crying. A light blush spread itself across Inuyasha's face. He was upset about this whole thing, but hey, he was hugging Kagome to his chest in the dead of the night and her breath on his neck was giving him goose bumps and – no! Inuyasha shook his head. Not the time to think like this, idiot. He scolded himself.
Kagome stirred and her eyes opened. She looked up at Inuyasha quizzically and slowly, what happed that afternoon sank in. Tears coursed down her face once more as she buried herself against his chest.
"No… No, no, no, no, no. Not happening…" She muttered.
She calmed down slowly and was silent again. Inuyasha tipped Kagome's head up and his heart broke at what he saw in her eyes. The life that once shone there was gone. Her eyes were darkened by pain. Remnants of her tears glistened on her eyelashes. He could smell the fear, confusion and grief radiating off her. The sadness was in the very air that he was breathing in. It slowly seeped its way into his system, making his blood run cold. Ah, so this was what she was feeling.
Inuyasha didn't know what to say. He was never one for words. He softly kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms tightly around her. This was no time to be embarrassed. Kagome's body tightened slightly as she realized her surroundings. She was up on the Goshinku, in Inuyasha's arms. But oh, she was so tired, and it was so warm. It felt so right…
Inuyasha let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding when Kagome melted against his chest. Her hand roamed around, seeking for his. As soon as she found it, she entwined their fingers in a desperate grasp. The tears came again. They were silent this time, not the gut wrenching sobs that came this afternoon. It soon began to soak through Inuyasha's haori.
"It's ok… shhh… go to sleep." Inuyasha rubbed Kagome's back soothingly with his free hand. "I'm here. Shhh…"
Oh Kami, the look in her eyes. It was as if someone had broken her soul.
Kagome awoke first. The birds were singing their little hearts out on a nearby branch. She sighed. Mother… Gramps… Souta… Even her kitty had not been spared. She was out of tears by now, but that dull ache that pulsed inside her would not leave. She was never going to see them again… Never.
A warm, comforting weight was resting on top of him. He snuggled against it, not fully awake yet. Then his eyes snapped open. Last night… Kagome… Oh God… Inuyasha looked down at her.
"G-good morning." He choked out. His voice was raspy and hoarse.
"Mmm…" she replied and nuzzled into the nook of his neck, as if afraid that talking might disturb the fragile peace that morning sometimes held.
"When you're ready…" Inuyasha hesitated, was this the time? "When you're ready, tell me what happened, ok?"
"M'kay." She made no move to answer further or to suggest that they should go back to the hut.
If she wanted to stay here, Inuyasha wasn't about to stop her. She needed all the comfort she could get right now.
"Kags honey, you HAVE to eat something. Come on, something, anything… I'll even get to dango if you want it…" Sango pleaded. Kagome barely lifted her head from the futon she was lying on.
"It's ok Sango. Go ahead and eat without me, I'm not hungry."
Shippou came over and waved a lollipop in front of Kagome's face.
"If you go eat dinner, I will give you my last candy-on-a-stick." Shippou declared. This always worked when he was sad. Well, he normally ate anyways but if it was something he didn't want to do, like being nice to Inuyasha, that bribe always worked.
"No Shippou, keep it." Kagome forced a smile. It didn't reach her eyes.
Defeated, Shippou reentered the kitchen. (A/N: I have no idea how a Japanese house was designed back then. xD So we can just pretend that they ate in the kitchen. ) Shaking his head, he sat down and attacked his bowl with rice with less vigour than usual.
Halfway through the meal, Inuyasha growled and put down his hardly touched bowl of rice on the table with a bang. He took Kagome's bowl of food and marched into the room she lay in. She was NOT going to starve to death with him around.
Kagome felt someone sit down in front of her and a bowl of rice was thrust into her view and chopsticks were stuck into her hand.
"Eat." It was not a request, but a command.
"No." She glared at him. Couldn't the dumbass see that this was NOT the time?
"Eat, now."
"No."
Inuyasha growled impatiently in the back of his throat and forcefully sat her up.
"Stop hurting yourself like this, woman!" He all but barked at her. "Can't you see that you are only making things worse! Starving yourself will not fucking bring them back! I can't have you killing yourself slowly while I stand and watch!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. Her whole body was limp, her hand hang and she refused to look him in the eye. Tears splattered on to the wooden floor.
"Inuyasha…" She said quietly. "Your hurting me…"
Inuyasha came to his senses and pulled his hands away as if she hand burned him.
"Oh my God, I'm sorry. Kagome… Kami, I'm so sorry." He hugged the sobbing girl roughly in his arms then immediately loosened his hold a bit when he felt her freeze up. "I'm so sorry, never again. Never again Kags." He rocked her back and forth and slowly, she began to relax.
As her tears ceased, she leaned back and took Inuyasha's face in both her hands. She placed a kiss on each cheek and settled back down against the nook of his neck. She could feel his heart beat. Strong, consistent. It itself was like a promise to her that he would always be there.
"It's ok Inuyasha."
A few moments passed while he continued to rock her like a little child. It gave him something to do while his brain buzzed crazily. Kami, he was not good at handling these kind of situations.
"Inuyasha?"
"What?"
"That rice is starting to look good."
Inuyasha grinned in spite of himself and reached over and picked up the bowl and the chopsticks. He picked out a piece of fish from the bowl and stuck it into her mouth.
"I'm expecting ramen for this later."
Whoo! First chapter! LOL. Hope you liked it! Leave a review. Constructive criticism welcome.
ebonyS2