I'll Still Need You, Forever
AN: This is something I have wanted to write for awhile but never had a chance to do. Basically it is a compilation of Cream's thoughts in the form of letters at the end of season three. I'm sorry if it is a little out of character but I didn't want it to be too sugary sweet.
Please enjoy!
-Crystal Rose
Momma are you proud of me? I am trying to be brave, trying to show you how strong I truly am. No matter what I won't cry, no matter what I won't worry about what may happen in the days ahead. I'll be brave for you. I remember you telling me when I was younger that I was your one and only, it would just be you and I together forever. Perhaps that was the truth in your eyes then but it seems as if the fates are against us presently. Now we are more than a world apart…I am writing you here in my bedroom on the Typhoon and you are reading this in our home in Green Hill. Rest assured Momma that I am safe; all my friends are keeping me healthy. Ms. Amy has been teaching me how to cook a few new meals, this yummy noodle recipe being mine and Cheese's favorite. She told me that she learned it from Ella…Another time we were apart for so long. But I remember you came for me then; will you come for me now?
Perhaps I am rambling momma, but something has happened here. Mr. Sonic told me to be strong about it, not to cry around Tails. It curses my mind even when I try and push it so far back that it will be only a vague memory….But I guess that's impossible momma. How I wish Cheese and I could be there with you now, I just want you to tell me that it will be okay…Why do things like this happen? Why cant life be perfect like before when I was there with you…Momma, I want to come home…
I should not have come here with the others, I tried to be strong and I failed. I cracked under pressure and have not proved myself to be a real hero like the others. No matter what I do I am just a little girl, someone who should be playing with dolls rather than fighting true evil. Momma please, I'm growing restless. Come for me….
Hopefully this will be over soon. Maybe then we can come home. Even if we do there will be so many memories left here in space. Memories of fights, love, and…..
I cant stop thinking of it….
Momma I hope to be with you soon….
-Cream and Cheese
Momma it's been two days now, two of the longest days of my life. It's strange that in the last two days everyone has been trying to smile so much. Perhaps they are trying to hide everything that happened behind their smiles. But I can tell that they are forced, they don't need to be happy….Can't they cry momma? I was walking through the halls last night when a dim light caught my eye. It was coming from her room, a room that had been silent since it all happened. I couldn't help but wander over—I know you have told me that nosiness is rude but I couldn't help myself—and that is when I heard a giggle. But there was something strange about it. I have never heard something that was supposed to be happy sound so sad. It was like a desperate cry…
"It was so funny then..."
"Ms. Amy?" The pink hedgehog looked over at me in alarm, her hands flailed back and a quiet clink could be heard. It had only took me a moment to realize what was once in her hand; a small flower pendant. It was the one from the party that she and Tails threw for us all. It was also the same that I found in her room after…Well, what Dark Oak did to her…Why was Ms. Amy talking to it?
"Oh Cream, I didn't see you there" Ms. Amy's voice shook lightly; I could tell her words were as forced as was the smile that followed. "Are you okay?"
"I suppose" I answered "But what are you doing in here?"
"Just talking to myself I guess"
I pointed to the small crystal flower "And it too?" Another of those sad giggles could be heard.
"I guess I was"
I made my way over to her and sighed sitting down on the soft bed beside my best friend. She looked at me for a second before looking back to the pendant on the floor. For a few moments it looked as if she was going to speak but nothing came out. Finally after a few tries she managed to get a sentence out.
"Do you remember the party; it was when Tails gave her that?" She pointed at the crystal in case I did not understand what she was speaking about. I automatically nodded. "She did all that stuff for us just to get the whole party trashed by Charmy, Espio, and Vector. But we still had the bash didn't we? Remember the face painting and the food and the games? We had some much fun. It was so funny that she thought we needed so much just to have fun together when we just needed each other."
As she spoke I noticed not even she used her name…Why is that momma? Ms. Amy is so brave…I haven't said it either but I'm….Well I'm a kid.
Amy continued with a smile "You had fun that day right, remember the-"
"Ms. Amy…"
She paused looking at me. I suddenly felt very flustered as if this was not the time for my question.
"Yeah Cream?"
"Why is no one sad? Why did Mr. Sonic tell Cheese and I not to cry around Tails…Why can't anyone cry anymore?"
She didn't look prepared for my question, perhaps it was dumb to ask. She bit her lip and attempted one more smile but she failed, her eyes were filled with tears. Oh no…Perhaps being happy was better, why did I make her cry?
"Ms. Amy I'm sorry-"
She wrapped her arms around me tightly before releasing a sob. "I'm so sorry Cream" She muttered miserably. I could only sit there as stiff as a board as she clung to me. I could feel the grip on one of my ears tightly leading me to shift uncomfortably. "You can cry" she finally said.
"But why did Mr. Sonic say not to?" I asked but I never got an answer. Ms. Amy continued to sob loudly, her smile finally faded away.
Momma it hurts to see anyone, let alone my best friend, in so much pain. I'm like that too but she cried and I didn't. I just sat there frozen….
Perhaps there are other ways to cope?
I want to cope with you
I feel so alone
-Cream and Cheese
As the fourth day as comes I can't help but feel so desperate. Everyone is trying to get back to normal but it still feels fake like before. You know that the emotions are fake when Knuckles is trying to be overly happy. Every time I spoke with him he gave me a grin and said it was all right. Then I asked him about my encounter with Amy.
Though his expression seemed fake but his words hit surprisingly hard.
"Things happen for a reason Cream, even though we don't always know why there is even a reason for death. It just happens some times kid, we all learn to cope in different ways."
Perhaps this was his way momma…But I kinda wish he would go back to how he used to be.
"But why can't we all cope together?" I asked softly. He looked to me and his sugary expression genuinely softened. So it still wasn't the same Knuckles but I was not complaining.
"You just have to let everyone do it alone first; once the shock has worn off I'm sure it will be better."
But when would that happen momma? Why can't I just run to you?
-Cream and Cheese
I wanted to see Mr. Sonic today; the sixth day since it happened, but he was nowhere to be found. I found Cheese in my room fast asleep so I sat with him patting his tiny head softly instead. I had asked Amy if she knew where her 'love' was but she shrugged lightly and continued to finish preparations for dinner. She looked deep into thought so I didn't bother her any longer.
It's strange but even love can falter when death arises momma. But don't worry; I won't stop loving you…
It was actually Ms. Rouge that told me where Mr. Sonic was. She was that he was running around the ship constantly as if he was searching for something. I wished to ask more but instead she waved me off saying that she was going to say a few goodbyes to Knuckles before heading back to Doctor Eggman's ship with Shadow. I told her my goodbyes—and one for Mr. Shadow as well- and headed to my room.
I guess Mr. Sonic's way of coping is running. Of course I haven't really seem his way towards me—like Knuckle's strange behavior—and I suppose it is for the better momma. Sonic runs, it's pure and simple. Knuckles is probably angrier than ever, and Amy cries…That is as far as I can tell.
How do you cope momma?
Can you cope without me?
-Cream and Cheese
Eight days momma, it's been eight days now. I spoke to Tails recently, though I can not say that it was the most comfortable conversation in the world. We sat in my favorite place on the whole Typhoon; it's a part of the ship surrounded by windows so that the stars and the planets can always be seen. Momma I wish you could see it, but now it isn't really the same. Everything seems dimmer now. Anyways, I was sitting with him in silence since neither of us knew what to say. I wanted to think of something that would make all the sadness go away but it was easier said than done.
"How are you feeling Tails?"
"Allright"
"Would you like a snack? I can cook something for you-"
"It's allright"
"What about we go play-"
"I don't want to…"
….
Well this was awkward to say the least…
Momma, what does it feel like to loose someone? I don't remember papa going away so- well actually I have felt it once, the feeling of loss. Do you remember Emerlmomma? But somehow the loss of Cosmo is different…I don't know how but it is. I adored Emerlwith my whole heart but Cosmo was something else to Tails. He was truly in love with her…
I hope I never fall in love momma, it's too hard…
"You were in love with her weren't you?" I asked quietly as I looked down at the smooth floor we were sitting on together. When the silence became too much I looked back up at him and noticed him deep in thought; a rosy blush against his white muzzle. I would have giggled right then if the conversation was not so serious. Instead I waited for him to answer.
"Did she ever say anything to you about it?"
Hmmm did she?
"I'm sorry but she didn't say anything to me about it…" I answered sheepishly. Tails looked slightly disheartened. I couldn't say I blamed him.
"Oh…" Tails looked as if he was going to cry
Momma, I am so horrible at making people feel better….So pathetically horrible…
"But, I think she spoke to Amy about it!" Tails' expression seemed to lighten "I would understand why she wouldn't speak to me about things like that. I suppose I am too young" My explanation came out as a jumbled mess—at least to my ears—but at least he seemed a bit happier. "She always smiled around you and blushed a lot Tails! I'm sure she adored you-"
"Thanks Cream" Tails mumbled looking out to the stars. I did the same, my eyes locked onto a bright star that seemed to be radiating above the rest.
Momma wasn't it you that told me that papa was up there in the stars whenever I asked why he wasn't at home. I didn't understand it then—I thought papa was traveling space like I am now or something-- but now I know what you meant.
"Right there" I said abruptly pointing my gloved index finger out at the shining star. Tails looked at me as if I was crazy but then he noticed what I was pointing at.
"The star?"
"My momma said that when you lose someone you can always look up to the stars and find them." I explained with a smile "We're also up here Tails, so you can be close to her star. It's almost like you can touch it." I made a grabbing motion with my extended arm. To my surprise Tails did the same.
"But how do you know it's hers?" He asked softly
"I can tell…" I thought for a second "Because it's the brightest one around and she was always so happy." I brought my hand down but noticed Tails did not follow suit.
Perhaps I am not as horrible as I once thought
But hopefully you can help me get better momma
-Cream and Cheese
It's refreshing momma, the feeling that everything was going to be all right even when something horrible had happened. Ten days have gone by and we are finally having a proper time together in my favorite place of the Typhoon. No one is sad; there are actually a few smiles in the group. Even Tails was here, a crystal flower—her-no- Cosmo's flower—resting in the palm of his gloved hand. I smiled to him and he smiled at me before looking up to the glass ceiling. He was looking at Cosmo in the stars…He's really was in love wasn't he? It's really sweet momma, perhaps one day I do want to fall in love.
You would be surprised momma but even Doctor Eggman came for awhile joined with Ms. Rouge, Mr. Shadow, Bocoe, Decoe, and Bokkun. But of course the doctor made sure we knew that after this he was evil again. Of course we all kno-
"Come on Cream!" a loud voice echoed through the whole 'party'. Cheese and I looked over from the entry I was writing to a robot—about the same size as me—know simply to us as Bokkun "Charmy said he's gonna swipe the rest of the pant the others were using!"
"What are you both going to use it for?" I asked suspiciously as I stood up with my small book. He only gave me a happy grin before taking my arm and pulling me along with him. I only had a second to call Cheese. I soon saw Charmy, a rather large bucket of red paint in his hands, and an even larger grin on his face. I couldn't help but frown. "We're going to get into trouble you know"
"Yeah yeah yeah, you worry too much Cream!" Charmy exclaimed happily "We're just gonna paint you know"
Cheese and I rolled our eyes
"Come on Cream!" Bokkun took my hands and pulled my gloves off. I couldn't help but blush but then he dipped them into the paint. I shuddered and glared at the laughing boys.
Boys are so immature momma
"Now you have to put your handprints Cream!" Charmy finally said
"My handprints? Where?"
The boys rolled their eyes and dipped their hands. They then pressed their hands up against the wall, keeping them there until they were sure there was an even red spot. I looked to Cheese but he was already following suit with the others. Talk about peer pressure….
"Wont Tails be angry?" I asked as I looked to my soaked fur.
"No way, we're making memories! Now we'll have something to remember the adventures!" Bokkun explained.
But why would we make memories of the sad things that happened?
As if he knew my thoughts Charmy continued from Bokkun
"Even when bad stuff happens you have to remember it!"
"But why would you want to?" I asked
"So you can remember all the fun times before it of course! If you try to forget the bad you forget the good too."
I smiled and placed my hands against the smooth wall
"So I won't forget the fun we all had" I stated closing my eyes.
"And for the fun we still will have" Sonic said beside me. I looked over startled, I was ready to explain our trouble but his hands were already in the paint.
"And for the laughter" Amy whispered, her pink hands coved in red.
"And the excitement" Knuckles laughed, his handprints already there.
"And for the love" Rouge stated, her gloves dropped beside her, her eyes on Knuckles
"And the fights" Shadow quietly said
"And for the money!" Vector exclaimed loudly
"And the missions of course" Espio added
"And for the evil schemes I have yet to discover" Eggman declared alongside Bocoe and Decoe who stood triumphantly beside the evil genius, their metallic hands covered in red paint like Bokkun's. Sonic looked over to him, an eyebrow raised
Finally Tails spoke; his handprints were the last to be placed. "And for Cosmo"
Momma, ten of the hardest days have past but at the same time these days have changed me. When we return in a few days you will see. I promise that I still am your little girl but now I'm a little more grown up. Maybe this will mean I won't be afraid of thunderstorms or I won't get angry when I have to come inside on a sunny day, or maybe it will mean I'll act the same. I'll still play house with Cheese and my favorite thing to do will still be to color and pick flowers. Who knows?
But rest assured I'll still need you
I'll always need you
-Cream and Cheese
AN: Well that's it, another of my one-shots. Wow….That was out of character for Cream but she always seemed smarter than she looked. Oh yes, this is indeed based in the Sonic X Universe but I know I left Chris out. No offence to anyone but he is not fun to write as and is a bit dumb in the series. Please don't hate me! If you guys want I'll change it around so he's in it! Anyways I hope you all liked it and watch out for more from me. I'll be doing requests now.
-Crystal Rose