DISCLAIMER: I do not own Lupin the Third, and…. Yeah… He's not even really in this chapter, anyway….

Oye, over here! Yeah, here!

Thank you to everybody who reviewed in the last chapter! Thanks also to the people who read it, even though you might not review… I know you're there… Anyway, yeah, I still can't decide on an official name for Leo/Ari, although I've gotten some pretty good ideas. Thanks everyone! I'll have an idea by the Ari/Leo wedding, promise… Anyway, please enjoy the next chapter, and remember that opinions are always welcome!

Fun Fact of Boredom: The red-headed version of Toshiro is based after a piece of artwork a friend sent to me… I thought Goemon looked good as a redhead…

Chapter Sixteen: The Love Boat

A San Francisco Airport:

"Where the hell is he?" Max asked himself as he looked down at his watch, "Why'd he take a different flight, anyway?"

"I dunno… Maybe he wasn't ready for the Mile High Club," Dako shrugged.

"How in the hell do you even know what that is?" Max demanded.

"Hey, Zeni-chan!" Fuji waved from across the airport. "How are you? How's my big brother treating you? Hi, Dako!"

"Lupin!" Max yelled at the top of his lungs, "You're under arrest!"

"I'm gonna go wait for a taxi… Come and find me after you get your butt kicked…" Dako lifted up hers and Max's rolling suitcase, and sported a carryon on either arm.

"Hey, Zenigata, do you like cartoons?" asked Fuji with her usual smug smile. As she spoke, her group gathered behind her, one by one.

"That mindless crap?" Max laughed, "I'd rather watch you all behind bars!"

"Ohhh… He must have the pre-wedding jitters," Fuji said to Ryo with a nod. "Okay, you guys remember the split-up technique?"

"Yep. Meet you in an hour, Fuji," Toshiro broke off in a run with Yukiko in one direction, Ally and Odori with baby Namiko went in another direction, Heiji and Ryo went off together, and Fuji ran in yet another direction. Max didn't care as much about the others; he wanted the big fish.

"Zenigata, you just got a Lupin out of prison—Why would you want to put one back in?" asked Fuji as she jumped upon the luggage pick-up and began to move.

"You get down from there right now!" Max tossed a set of handcuffs, and they wrapped about Fuji's wrists. She laughed and jumped off of the tram.

"You know, I would think you'd get over this trick by now and—Acck!" she let out a yell as a blue dye exploded from the handcuffs and all over her outfit and face. She looked up at Zenigata, slowly and seriously. Max took a step back; he usually wasn't intimidated by Fuji, but she usually didn't have a look to kill, either.

"Do you… Have any idea… How much this dress is worth? It's probably your entire paycheck for this month! Get over here!" she picked up the first heavy object she could find (a guitar case), and Max took a step back. She seriously looked like she wanted to do harm.

"I look like a SMURF!" Fuji yelled, and swung. Max ducked down, and attempted to retaliate, but had no time. He had no idea that one of Fuji's favorite sports growing up was softball, and she had an astounding batting average.

"C'mere!" Fuji yelled.

"I've got a gun!" Max stuttered.

"And I've got a size-four heel that I'm gonna kick your ass with!" Fuji replied as she began to chase Max full-on. This time, Zenigata took off running. Perhaps he wouldn't use those handcuffs again.

Max was more than relieved when he spotted Leo getting off of his flight, and ran to LeBlanc for protection. "Your sister's snapped?"

"What do you mean… Why does Fuji look like a Smurf?" asked Leo as he watched his sister continue her run.

"Don't talk—Hide!" Max said frantically.

"You ruined her favorite dress, didn't you?" Leo sighed. Two steps off of the plane and already trouble.

"Damnit, LeBlanc!" Max grabbed onto Leo, and the two took off running, Fuji in quick pursuit.

They finally lost her outside of the airport, and they found Dako, who was tapping her foot in impatience, "You two about done?"

"Yeah," Leo nodded. "Max, take some of your bags from Dako… That's considered child labor…"

"Not when the child's considered a demon…" Max grumbled as he hailed a cab. Leo placed the luggage in the back seat, and climbed into the back seat with Max and Dako.

"How long before the baby comes? Do you know if it'll be a boy?" Dako asked Leo intently.

Leo looked up at Max, and wondered if what he was doing was really fair to Zenigata, "I've still got to work out some of the kinks, plus I've got to talk with Max… He's going to be a dad, too, after all."

"You don't mind, though, do you?" Dako asked as she turned to Max, who was simply looking out the window and staring out at the city.

Later that Night:

"Here'll be your room," Natasha said as she led Max and Leo up into their guest room. Dako would sleep in Max's old room for the time being. Dako had made the comment when she got into the room about the numerous British romantic comedies Max owned, and Zenigata immediately pretended not to hear this comment. Dako searched through Max's room while Zenigata and LeBlanc unpacked in the guest room.

"I never asked you what you thought," Leo said as he unzipped his suitcase, "about the baby…"

"Well, we almost had to take the kid," Max said with a shrug. "Either that or you know Cecilia'll put it up for adoption. She didn't care if it got brain damage…"

"Yeah… But I don't want you to look at it as an obligation. I want you to be with me on this, Max," Leo said as he found an ironing board in the room and set it up. "I'll iron your shirts and pants if you want…"

"Thanks," Max mumbled as he removed them from his suitcase and laid them out on the bed next to Leo's shirts. "I still need to go out and buy something for…"

"Yeah, tell me about it… Two weeks, and we don't have crap done!" Leo sighed. "And to top it off, Fuji's in town and probably up to no good. At least my dad agreed to pay for the thing."

"Good, since you're the 'bride' you can plan it."

"I'm not playing a gender card with you, especially since we've both got the same decks…"

"Hm," Max walked over to their door, and opened it briefly. Dako was downstairs with his mother and father, and she was helping them cook dinner. They were just beginning, so the coast was clear…

He walked back to Leo, and placed his arms around LeBlanc's waist. Leo immediately gave him a look of surprise, and only began to speak when Max cut him off, "It's okay, Ari, I checked it out… They're all busy with dinner…."

"Maybe we should go help them, then," Leo sputtered as he broke away from Max. "Listen, I'm still getting used to… Everything…"

"It's okay," Max gave a sigh, and walked back over to his suitcase, and resumed unpacking. "I've tried to get in touch with our offices; still no word as to Lupin's ulterior motive for coming to San Fran."

Leo tilted his head to a side, and shook it slightly, "Listen, we'll rent a movie tonight and watch it together. Your parents want to take Dako out, anyway. She's never been to this part of the U.S. before, plus she's glad to be in a place where everyone speaks English!"

"All right," Max brightened up at this, and Leo knew that now he would be able to get everything he had wanted to out of the way.

A San Francisco Hotel Room:

"What's with the guitar case, Fuji?" asked Ally as he looked up from his sniper rifle, "And… What's with the new color?"

"It doesn't suit your eyes, you know," Ryo mumbled as she flipped through the channels of the television.

Fuji turned to Ryo and glared, "You know that you're the biggest couch potato I've ever known! I'm gonna go wash off… No one touch the guitar case."

Ryo and Ally waited until she was gone, and then both ran over to the guitar case, and Ryo watched as Ally opened it, and then slammed it shut after realizing what was in the case. Both looked at one another in disbelief, and then slowly backed into their places.

"I never knew Fuji was… Like that…" Ryo muttered to herself.

"Hey, what the hell's wrong with you two?" Yukiko asked as she walked into the living room of the hotel, a bottle of the best wine she could buy in one hand. Toshiro soon followed, carrying the glasses. It was a typical Friday night for the duo.

"Look in the guitar case," said Ryo.

"Okay… What, is it a bass signed by Paul McCartney?" asked Yukiko as she crouched down and opened the case.

"No, but it's something else guitar stars are familiar with," Ally answered as Yukiko started in awe at the bags upon bags of a familiar white substance.

"Oh my friggin' God!" Yukiko yelped.

"Wait, it could all be a dud," Toshiro sighed, and bent down to look in at the white bags. He lifted one up, and opened it, and stuck a finger into the bag. He put the finger to his tongue, and shot back after a delay in reaction. "Woahhh…. This stuff is not only legit, this is the best I've ever… What?" he asked as he looked around at his horrified coworkers.

"What? I grew up in Brooklyn. I worked on Broadway…." sighed Toshiro as he stood and wiped his hand clean on his pant leg.

"You did drugs!" Yukiko snapped and began to beat him over the shoulders with her fedora, "What the frig's you problem? Do you know what happens to those people? You wanna look like Keith Richards?"

"Ow! Yuki, ouch, stop!" Toshiro snapped, waving her away from him. He backed away from her and guarded himself with his arms.

"I can't believe you'd be that stupid!" Yukiko fumed, "How in the hell could you be such a moron, huh?"

"Hey, what's up?" Heiji asked as he and Odori walked in, Odori with Namiko in a stroller.

"Your brother's an idiot!" Yukiko growled.

"Well, that didn't take an expert," Heiji replied.

Fuji called out from the bathroom, "Heiji-chan, do you think you could lend me a hand here?"

"God, I already don't like the sound of this…" Heiji muttered as he set down Namiko's Hello Kitty diaper bag and walked into the bathroom, where Fuji was seated on a small stool, rubbing her face clean. She had a bathrobe on, and Heiji saw her expensive dress and her denim jacket laying in a corner of the bathroom. They were a unique shade of cerulean.

"What in the he—Aiya!" Heiji jumped back in surprise as Fuji removed the towel from her face and revealed that it matched her outfit.

"I got it out of my hair, but my face is still giving me trouble… Do you know anything that'll get this stuff out?" she asked beggingly.

"Eh…. Um, we could always try alcohol…" Heiji replied with a shrug. "You don't have any open wounds on your face or anything, do you?"

"Just one in my heart from a guy in San Juan and two from shaving my legs," replied Fuji with her usual smile.

"Guy in San Juan?"

"Eh, long story," Fuji sighed. "Old partner of mine…"

"Before any of us?"

"Well, he worked with me and Ari."

"Ari and me."

"No, you weren't there yet," Fuji answered. "I was about eighteen at the time… He was Lithuanian, but had immigrated there to be a pirate."

"Like an eye-patch pirate?"

"Not quite," Fuji sighed, but this serene look was gone as Heiji applied the alcohol. "Yeouch! God that's freezing!"

"I warned you," Heiji sighed tiredly.

"Not about the ice water!" snapped Fuji.

"Whiner…"

San Francisco:

"Ehh…" Leo looked upward at the video store. He had been given his directions—No horror movies, and no more freakin' cartoons. English, Max wanted something in English.

He walked in, and began to look about the aisles. Leo figured his best bet would be to begin with new releases. He found a comedy that looked promising, and picked this one up, and he continued his search.

"I know he doesn't like cartoons, but who doesn't like Shrek?" Leo said to himself as he also picked up this movie. "Besides, it's CGI—It barely counts as the animation he's thinking of!" he chuckled to himself. He stopped at a booth of Japanese imports, and looked at the picture of the cheery monkey. Mankii-san, a new Japanese import, and someone who Leo knew quite well. He picked up the sample DVD, and looked down at it. "Who would've thought this would come back to haunt me? Eh, well, maybe include this—It'll be a good way to tell him… Let him know before Fuji spills the beans on it."

He turned his attention back to the aisles, and failed to notice a man walking in his direction. The two collided, and he man quickly apologized and hurried away from Leo, grabbing his DVD and running to the checkout. Leo shrugged this off, and picked up his movies, and walked to the checkout.

He returned later that evening, after a few more quick stops, while Zenigata and Natasha were out with their granddaughter. Max had already set up the den, complete with drinks and popcorn. "Hey, you were gone a while! What's up?"

"Nothing… I got some movies," Leo replied, holding one up, "Listen, I think there's something you should…"

"Great, go ahead and put it on!" said Max excitedly.

Leo held up the DVD with the smiling, dancing monkey, and then decided against it. No, this would be for later. He instead picked up another movie, and put this in the VCR. He then turned off the lights and seated himself next to Max.

"Hey, this looks interesting… Cheaply made, but interesting…." said Max as he watched the film begin. "I've never heard of this…"

"Funny; I thought I put in Kill Bill," Leo said to himself.

"Ah, well… Doesn't really matter… Ought to be interesting, whatever it is…" Max nodded.

It became apparent over time, though, that this wasn't a regular film. As it progressed, Max's jaw dropped, and Leo sat there, horrified, "T-That guy! He must've switched tapes with me! There was this creepy guy who was high-tailin' it outta there! What would I do with lesbian porn, anyway?"

"Not an idea…" Max said numbly, "I never want to see a version of Lord of the Rings like that, again, though."

"Let's put something else on, then," Leo rose, sighed, and turned off the television. "Max, I've got something to show you…."

"More porn?" Max asked painfully.

"No… It's something else," Leo sighed as he turned off the VHS player and turned on the DVD player. "I went through a few jobs when I first left my parents… I got a few thousand yen when I first started off on my own by doing voiceovers… So, yeah… Um, someone found the tapes, and they finally animated series… I found a DVD…"

"Cool, put it on!" Max said quickly. Leo groaned, rolled his eyes, and put in the movie.

"Keep in mind I was desperate for cash at the time, okay?" Leo said as he sat down once again.

"Ohayo, Tomadachi-san!" a smiling, brightly colored monkey appeared on screen suddenly, and began to jabber off a mile-a-minute Japanese monologue to the screen.

Leo looked over to Max, and looked at Zenigata's twitching expression. The monkey gave a long laugh, and Max jumped at this chuckle. He recognized it, and Leo knew he did.

"You okay, Zenigata?" asked Leo as he continued to look at the brightly-colored screen.

"Considering the only other times you've laughed like that were when you were in drunk or you were in the sack, not really…" Max responded with a shudder.

"Yeah…. I know…" Leo cleared his throat, and rose, "I'm going to go get a drink…"

"No," Max smiled and pulled Leo back down, "C'mon, this is kinda cute!"

"This is like those indie films college students make…" Leo muttered as he put a hand on his head and covered his eyes. "Please don't make me watch this…" he moaned.

"Look at how cute! They're going to party! What'd you end up getting Neko-kun, Mankii-chan?" asked Max with a smile as he held his partner in place.

"I'll kick your ass if you don't let me off of here," said Leo with annoyance.

"Hey, there's a way off of here," Max said somewhat playfully to the struggling LeBlanc. Leo may have been taller and known more tricks on escaping, but Max had the better headlock.

"Okay, okay, what is it?" asked Leo in a pant after he finished his vain attempts at escaping.

"T'embrasse," Max said in his highly butchered French. Leo flushed, and sprung up out of the headlock.

"What if your parents come in?" Leo choked.

"It's not like we'll be making out or anything… God you're uptight, LeBlanc…"

"Only as uptight as you!"

"At least I know how to let my hair down every once in a while…"

"Thanks to you and the prison, I hardly have any hair to let down!" snapped Leo.

"You're still gorgeous to me, Mankii-chan," Max laughed, and leaned in to kiss Leo. Leo fell back on the couch and looked upward at Max, a little upset that Zenigata had won in the end.

"Hmm… I didn't hear a car in the driveway, so we're safe…" Max announced to Leo.

"As long as you don't turn this into a lemon, sure," Leo sighed. 'I'm sure not everyone likes the kinda stuff Zenigata's thinking of… Who would've thought he'd be as big a perv as Fuji?' he thought as Max leaned in and kissed him again.

About ten minutes later, the front door opened, but neither Leo nor Max heard. The annoying credits to the cartoon were over, and the two were much busier with other things during this period, anyway.

"Hey, do you hear that?" Natasha stopped her husband and granddaughter as they entered their home, "Sounds like someone yelled…"

Dako started uncomfortably, "Maybe they're…"

"Maybe someone broke in! Damn, I thought the spiked burglar bars would've worked for sure!" Zenigata said, breaking into his official police voice. He bent down into the umbrella stand, and pulled out a classic detective-issue revolver, "I'll be back… Natasha, you stay with Dako, in case there're more…"

"All right, Koichi," Natasha nodded, and took hold of one of Dako's hands.

"I don't think that there's a burglar," said Dako with a gulp.

"….Did someone just laugh?" Natasha inquired at the sound of a shrill dolphin-like laugh. Dako moaned, and put a hand on her forehead.

Zenigata slowly crept up the stairs, thinking back to his Interpol training. He carefully placed himself against the outside wall of the den, and grabbed onto the doorknob. He then threw the door wide open, and shouted.

"Interpol! Freeze!" Zenigata barked. His face quickly turned a shade of crimson, however, when he realized what he had walked in on, "Oh… Oh wow… Excuse me…" the old man sputtered as he slammed the door shut and put his back to it. He put hand over his eyes and muttered incoherent Japanese curses to himself.

"Koichi, is everything all right?" Natasha called up.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's great!" Zenigata replied, and waved down to him, "The boys just pulled out a game of Twister, and Max fell!"

"We don't own Twister," Natasha cocked her head to a side.

"Oh, everyone at ICPO loved Twister! They must've found one of the old games and brought it with them!" Zenigata hated lying, but he couldn't tell Natasha the truth without having a miniature stroke of some kind. His chest already was tightening from the stress of walking in and finding that.

"I told you that that was a lousy idea! Where in the hell is my tie?" a reddened-faced Leo asked as he finished putting on his socks.

"Here," Max sighed, and pulled it out from under the couch cushion. "Yeah, maybe it wasn't one of my better ideas…" Max added as he finished buttoning his shirt.

"You know, I can count the good ideas you've had in past four years on one hand," snapped Leo. "Now I can't find my glasses!"

"They're right over on the coffee table… Why you wear those all the time is a mystery to me, anyway; you don't need them… And I do have good ideas; a lot of them!"

"Oh?"

"Sure! Adopting Dako, agreeing to stay married to you, going to work for Interpol—"

"You were forced to work for Interpol… I tricked you into marrying me and I told you if you didn't help me with Dako I'd break all of your fingers."

"Whatever. Regardless of that, I stayed… What am I going to tell my dad?"

"That you're an idiot?"

"Oh, they already know I'm a screw up… That's nothing new… Amaya's married to an ex-thief, but I'm the one who got kicked out of school, so I'm the bigger loser."

"Heh, I guess that's why we get along so well—We're both the black sheep of our family…"

"I think we ought to go down there and apologize to my dad… Considering he's your father-in-law…"

"I think that's my dad's least favorite aspect of us," Leo sighed. "He loves you, but…"

"Listen, I can't help who my dad is anymore than I can help my hair color," Max said as he rose and draped his tie about his neck. "You ready?"

"Yup, c'mon," Leo rose, and walked out of the den and down the stairs, Max leading behind. Zenigata was out on the porch, smoking a cigarette. Natasha had told him to stop on numerous occasions, but he had compromised with her and only lit up during special occasions. This counted as one. If his hair hadn't already been gray, it probably would've made a sudden color change upon walking in on his son.

"Dad, can we come out?" Max asked weakly as he opened the porch door.

Zenigata nodded, and Max crept into the porch area, Leo trailing him behind into the Asian-inspired screened-in haven.

"Dad? Hey, um…" Max began before his mother walked out with their portable telephone.

"Max, honey, it's your boss," said Natasha.

"Oh… Sorry, I guess I have to take this…" Max took the phone from his mother and walked out, leaving Leo with not only Natasha, but Zenigata. Leo could feel the old man sizing him up visually, trying to make sense of him.

"….I'll go make some punch," Natasha said as she noticed Zenigata's one-man staring contest.

"Sounds good… Close the door…" Zenigata said in a mutter. Zenigata relaxed a little, and leaned back in his chair as Natasha slid the door shut, "Have a seat, Son…"

"Uh, yes, Sir," Leo seated himself uncomfortably in front of Zenigata, and waited pensively for him to continue.

"You know, I remember you from when you were in diapers… I was one of the first to hold you, aside from your old man, and now… Now you're a member of my family… Lupin the Fourth…. My son-in-law…."

"Um, I think I left my iron on… So if you…"

"Take a seat—I can wait a few more seconds," said Zenigata. "So, I hear you're painfully honest…. That true?"

"Um, I've been told…"

"So, what do you think of your dear old father-in-law, Zenigata?"

"You scare the living hell out of me, Sir," replied a very tense Leo. Zenigata gave way to a laugh, and slapped Leo on the back, hard. LeBlanc lurched forward, and joined in with a faint and mousy excuse for a chuckle. He was also going into the beginnings of an asthma attack during this.

"You know, I really don't know what do make of you, Kid!" Zenigata laughed. "How in the world did you come from your father, anyway? Eh, well, I guess if you get injected with enough penicillin from STD's, it's got to affect something…"

"Could I…?"

Zenigata placed an arm over Leo's shoulders, and the young man let out a small yelp. Zenigata continued his jovial mood, "You know, I chased your dad from one end of the earth to another and back again, and I never really did catch him… I hated your dad…. Part of me still does… And your mother, good gravy, what a bitch… But she was quite the little minx, too… You have her same colored eyes, you know… Those expressions are all your dad's, though. Max, well, let's face it, he's the male version of his mother, physically, and emotionally… Well, let's say that that apple had to hardly fall from the tree! Ha ha! He's just like me, well, except I never liked a Lupin like he does! But he sure is a real romantic like his dad, though…"

"Leo, we've got an assignment…" said Max, sticking his head out of the door.

"Thank G-I mean, someone!" Leo bolted up, and went to join Max. He couldn't escape Zenigata's smile, though, as he exited into the house.

"We've meeting him downtown. We're doing a drug smuggling operation," Max explained.

"….You're kidding…."

"Nope. Apparently it has some connection with your sister, though…"

"Really? How?"

"Guy named Jurgis Stanislovas ring a bell?"

"…Jurgis… Yeah…. What, he's involved?"

"Apparently. They think he's heading it," Max added.

Later, a Downtown Shipping Area:

"Partners?" Leo and Max shrieked in unison. The chief shuddered; both had very shrill voices when the put their minds to it.

"Chief, we do not need partners," Max said with a laugh.

"I realize that, but you two are going undercover on a couples' cruise…" said the chief.

"Um, well that's taken care of!" Max laughed, and nudged Leo. Leo blushed in response, and looked toward the ships.

"You two should've been fired for an office relationship… But since you're the only idiots willing to take the Lupin case, I have to keep you both on board… It's a couples' cruise, and you two will just draw attention if you're holding hands or things like that…. I don't want that from either of you…"

"Chief, I—"

"Lupin, you're already on thin ice with the government; don't test me. Your partners are from police stations in Germany and Brazil. Inspectors Gluckman and Tomas."

"Great, women…" Max grumbled and rolled his eyes.

"Max, I know your mother, and I know she's slap you on the back of the head for saying something like that… Your first assignment is to pick them up at the airport. Good luck, Gentlemen, and have a lovely wedding."

"Yes, Sir, we will," Leo nodded, and prepped himself for Max's obligatory outburst.

"That jackass! I ought to file a complaint for discrimination!" Max shouted while he stood there with clenched fists.

"Max, let's just get to the airport… They ought to be there already…" Leo sighed as he looked down at his watch.

"How can you be this passive?" Max shouted.

Leo sighed and walked toward his car, "C'mon, Zenigata, it'll be okay… We've got to do this, all right? It's our job, and we don't make all of the rules, you know…"

"This bites," Max said as he sat in the passenger seat of the car and pouted.

Later, the Airport:

Inspectors Nina Gluckman and Myra Tomas were about as professional-looking as Inspectors Leonard Arsène LeBlanc-Lupin (a temporary name until Leo could decide) and Maxwell Chaim Zenigata were unprofessional looking. Nina was a petite German woman with rounded features, a pair of large glasses, and near bluish hair which she kept in two buns, on either side of her head. Myra, on the other hand, was nearly Leo's height, and had stern sharp features, and dirty blonde hair which fell to about her mid-back.

"Inspectors Lupin and Zenigata, it's a pleasure," said Myra in her Brazilian accent.

"Just Leo, please," Leo replied. He did not stutter or redden, but Max could see he was avoiding direct eye contact with both female inspectors, as Nina was avoiding his and Leo's.

"Fine, then," Myra nodded. "This is my partner, Nina."

"Nice to meet you, Nina," Leo gave a smile and a nod, and Max simply rolled his eyes in response to this weak attempt at friendliness.

"Well, I suggest we be off, then," Myra sighed, picked up her luggage and followed Leo and Max out to a taxi. She tossed Max a small bag as he went to enter the cab.

"What's this?" asked Max.

"Wedding ring," replied Myra. "I was assigned you…"

"What! You're like a friggin' foot taller than me!" Max shrieked as he followed Myra into the cab. She took the front seat, while Max sat in the back, directly behind her.

"So I guess this means I'm your 'husband', Ms. Gluckman," said Leo with a smile.

"Uh-huh," Nina nodded, but once again did not meet Leo's eyes.

"We leave this evening for the cruise…" Myra continued. "I already have the rooms booked, so we're good to go on that. And Zenigata, I warn you now that I'm highly skilled in Brazilian martial arts."

"And I'm highly skilled in Israeli martial arts, plus I can cook!" snapped Max.

"Wow this is going to be a long week…" Leo said to himself tiredly.

A Dock in San Francisco:

"So, why are they going?" asked Ally as he looked over his shoulder at Yukiko and Toshiro, who were still loading their luggage onto a dolly.

"Because I need a realistic couple," replied Fuji.

"And why am I going?"

"Because I need a bodyguard," Fuji answered in a whisper. "Come on—They're letting us on now…"

"Who do you need a bodyguard from? And what about Ryoko, huh? Or Heiji? You like Heiji—I thought this would've been your golden opportunity! I mean, come on, a couples' cruise!"

"I do like Heiji, and there is an obvious reason why I couldn't have brought Ryo!" snapped Fuji.

"You know, I always thought you two were a better couple than her and Ari. I don't care if he was my best friend; you two got along better."

"Come on, Honey, they're boarding!" Fuji said in a false tone as she took Ally by the arm and led him up the dock and onto the large ship. Yukiko and Toshiro soon followed, but Fuji and Ally quickly lost them amongst the numerous crowds.

"None of these people look like druggies…" Ally mumbled.

"And I don't look like I like to play Scrabble, but I do…" Fuji answered as she retrieved their key and opened up the room. "Nice set up, huh?"

"Not too bad," Ally admitted as he laid down his suitcases and unlocked one, making sure his weaponry was still there. "So where do we begin?"

"How about why you haven't married that really great girl?" asked Fuji.

Ally gave a stunned look, "Where did that come from?"

"What are you scared, or can you just not meet up to the challenge?" Fuji asked with an imploring grin.

"Who told you what!" Ally demanded angrily.

"Just my Lupin sense kicking in," Fuji replied, knocking her own skull a few times. "So, tell me about it…"

"After you tell me about you and Jurgis," Ally answered.

"Hmm… Jurgis…What's there to tell? I was young and stupid, and he was a friend of my father's…. He worked with Ari and me a lot for a few years… He was like a brother to Ari, and to me…."

"What to you?" asked Ally.

"Nothing," Fuji shook her head, and let go of her distant look. "Nothing at all… Anyway, back to you, Mr. Cold Feet…"

"There's nothing to talk about," Ally answered, growing increasingly nervous. He finally broke down, and slammed down his suitcase. "I've never been with a girl, all right?" he yelled.

"Ally, not so loud," Fuji whispered. "Now what do you mean by that?"

"I get nervous—I've either ruined a relationship because of that or because of the fact that I'm a friggin' lunatic."

"You're not a lunatic!" Fuji patted him on the back, "You're only mildly deranged!"

"Gee, thanks," Ally grumbled.

"Listen, I know I usually charge a lot for this, but you're gonna get it for free," said Fuji with a wickedly smile.

"What are you talking about?" Ally asked, tilting his head to a side.

"The Fujiko Lupin, Jr. School for the Romantically Inept!" replied Fuji excitedly, "Graduating members include me and about twenty other guys…"

"Great…. I thought we were working on coke smugglers," Ally sighed with a roll of the eyes.

"I'm a good multi-tasker," replied Fuji.

Later that Night:

"If I see one more happy couple I swear I'm gonna puke…" Yukiko grumbled. "I hate all of this mush!"

"Please—You like that stuff, you just don't admit it! You're just like your dad—Right down to the romance novels," Toshiro answered, nudging her. The two were walking the length of the ship, in search of anything suspicious. "I'm kind of glad that we did this, anyway…"

"Why, so you can look at all of the taken girls and realized how much you lucked out?" asked Yukiko with a laugh.

"Yes, that and…Well… There's something else…" Toshiro sighed heavily and leaned on the rail of the ship. He looked down into the water, and took another deep breath. "I thought over some things, and I'm really sure about this…"

"Yeah? What's up?" Yukiko lifted her fedora from her eyes, and gave him her full attention.

"Well… If… Listen, there isn't an easy way to put this," Toshiro said to himself, and gripped onto the railing tighter. "I wanted to know if you ever considered getting married…"

Yukiko, who had been leaning on the railing, had to be saved by Toshiro before she fell completely off of the ship.

"Me? Um… Why do you ask?" Yukiko managed to choke out.

"Because of this," Toshiro tossed her a small box, and she opened it, and looked the ring over, and over, and over.

"You want me to…" Yukiko gulped and looked down at the shiny object.

"I know you have a hard time with commitment, but please just consider it," said Toshiro. "….We need to get back to work…."

"Yes," Yukiko said as Toshiro began to resume his beat.

"Hm?" Toshiro turned around, thinking that he had not heard this quite right.

"Yes… I'll do it," Yukiko nodded, and put on the ring, and then tossed the box overboard.

"Wow… I… That's terrific!" Toshiro laughed happily, embraced and lifted her up. "This is going to be great!"

"Heh… Me… Married…" Yukiko thought this over, and then passed out.

"Yuki? Yuki? You okay?" asked Toshiro.

Another part of the ship:

"Listen, you have crap timing at this… We're supposed to be working…" Leo protested. "What if the other inspectors come in?"

"Then the Amazon Princess and Princess Lea will just have to deal," Max kissed Leo, and threw him down onto the bed.

"At least get some ice, first," Leo sighed tiredly.

"What the hell for?" asked Max.

"Some people actually like ice in their drinks," replied Leo.

"You don't take your drinks with ice!" Max snapped.

"The other Inspectors… It's called courtesy—You should learn it," Leo responded. Max grumbled, rose and walked out of his cabin, which was adjoined to Leo and Nina's.

"Why care about those two, anyway?" Max said to himself as he trudged down to find an ice machine. Something struck him as curious, though; voices. He stopped, and listening. Two female voices, coming from around the corner.

"Listen, it's out of the way of those two clumsy morons," he heard one woman whisper.

"We should just tell them!" the other snapped in return.

"In all good time… Besides, it's none of their business, anyway!"

"Well, at least they'd understand… They're both guys, after all. And at least they had enough guts to adopt a kid. They're even married! When are you going to do that, huh, Myra! You know I want kids!"

"Nina, we can't in this work," sighed Myra.

Max put a hand to his mouth, and backed away from his hiding spot. He quickly ran back to Leo, who was somewhat confused as to why Max looked as spooked as he did.

"Max, what's up?" asked Leo.

"Those two inspectors, they're like us!" Max yelped in disbelief.

"Um… Yeah… We work for the same place…."

"They're both gay!" said Max.

"What! You're kidding! Heh, how about that?" Leo laughed. "How'd you get them to tell you?"

Max coughed and spoke sheepishly, "I… I didn't… I sorta spied…"

"Oh, Max," Leo groaned and placed a hand over his eyes. "You don't do that!"

"There's nothing wrong with spying."

"Yes there is," Leo replied.

"Inspector?" there was a knock on the door; Myra.

"Come in!" Max called.

"We didn't catch you two in the middle of anything, did we?" asked Myra as she and a perturbed looking Nina entered.

"Nothing more than the usual," Max replied and scratched the back of his head, and chuckled.

"Good; I just wanted to give you back your ice bucket. You dropped it while you were spying on me and my partner," said Myra.

"Eh… Thanks…" Max took the bucket, and set it aside, "I'm really sorry about…"

"Don't be; she should've told you, anyway," replied Myra. "I guess you realized the true nature of my and Nina's relationship."

"Yeah…. Well, more power to you," Leo gave a reassuring smile, and Nina immediately sat next down to Leo and took hold of one of his hands.

"Could you please tell me how you went about adopting your daughter?" asked Nina hopefully.

"Not this again!" Myra moaned.

"It's okay… We're getting another baby soon, anyway… I totally identify with you there," said Max.

"Myra, maybe one of us could carry a baby!" said Nina excitedly all while she continued to hold Leo's hand.

"And we've got money for that?" asked Myra.

"Well, maybe one of them could help us," said Nina, looking at Leo, and then Max.

"So, how long have you two been together?" Leo asked.

"Three years," Myra responded. "Nina really enjoys children… Comes from a large family… Personally, I don't understand why she's so desperate for one…"

"Well, Miss Nina, I can get you in touch with some people who help people like you adopt," said Leo. "They're helping me get custody of my kid, right now… They deal with custody matters in general."

"That'd be terrific!" said Nina.

"It's really important that you talk it over with your partner, though," Leo added. "It's a huge responsibility for both of you… Thankfully Max is extremely understanding and extremely giving…. And he also puts up with me…"

"You don't argue about that at all?" Myra asked Max.

"Heh, are you kidding? We argue about everything! It's a good week if he doesn't lock himself in the bathroom because I said something to him!"

"So you're the dominate one, huh?" Myra concluded.

"Well, most of the time," Max chuckled at this, and looked at Leo, who also found it mildly amusing. "And I take it you're…"

"Most of the time," Myra answered. "Well, I guess we could just stay next store. Our rooms are connected, anyway."

"That'd be terrific," Leo replied, and watched as Nina rose and broke hold his hand.

"Thank you very much, Leo," said Nina. "Hopefully we'll be able to talk more about this later…"

"After we're done talking about it," said Myra, taking Nina by the hand and walking into the adjoining room with her.

"You know, I know carnival people with lives more normal than mine," said Max with a sigh.

"That's cute; they want to adopt!" said Leo as he lied back on the bed. "I guess we should wish them good luck on that!"

"Yeah, yeah, touching… Now where were we?" asked Max with a smile.

"You are relentless, Zenigata," Leo laughed.

The Deck of the Ship:

"God it's gorgeous…" Fuji said as she looked out at the moonlit view over the ocean, "And the only single person here is me…. Oh, the irony…"

"Excuse me, Ma'am, where's your date?" asked a voice behind her.

"He's on the phone talking to his girlfriend," Fuji replied in a mumble. "How about you?"

"Well, I was hoping to find one…"

"Good luck, Buddy," Fuji snorted. "Hey, you got a cigarette?"

"Shows how much you remember an old friend…" said the man. Fuji turned her head, and gasped at the good-looking dark haired man, who looked older than her by at least six years.

"Jurgis?" Fuji yelped, and embraced him, "What are you doing here?"

"Working undercover; you?" asked Jurgis in a thick Lithuanian accent.

"Same! Oh my God, how're you been?" asked Fuji.

"Heh heh… Same old Fuji… I hear your brother left…" said Jurgis.

"Hm, yeah, Ari's doing his own thing right now, which includes Inspector Zenigata…." Fuji said with a roll of the eyes, "How's everything been for you, huh?"

"Good… Been doing a little here, a little there… You know how it is," replied Jurgis. "Come get a drink with me; he have lots to talk about…"

"You're damn right!" Fuji smiled widely, and walked with him off of the deck of the ship, and down into the bar.

A Small Hotel on Land:

"Sometimes I hate the computer work…" Heiji said, drumming his fingers and staring at the blank screen. "I mean, I love it and all, and I love the fact that I'm rarely taken hostage as a result, but it's just boring sometimes…."

"I can't believe she left me!" Ryo fumed.

"Ryoko, while you're pouting, could you make a bottle for Nami?" asked Odori hopefully as she sat in front of the television rocking the small baby.

"Fine… I'll be right back…" Ryo rolled her eyes, and walked into the kitchen. She went to work making a bottle, and while in the middle of this, a phone call came for her.

"Hello?" Ryo asked as she picked up the phone. She was also pouring milk into the bottle while she spoke to her unknown caller.

"Has the whore left yet?" asked Victor frantically.

"If you mean Fuji, then yes… How're you doing, by the way, Victor?" asked Ryo blandly.

"She's in trouble…" said Victor.

"And why are you telling me this?"

"Because even though I revile her, I know she's your friend…"

"God, you really are desperate to get into my pants, aren't you?"

"There's someone there who's bent on killing her, Ryoko!" Victor shouted.

Ryo held the phone away from her ear and sighed, "Is yelling just a Lupin thing? Does everyone in your family do that?"

"Jurgis, a drug dealer named Jurgis," said Victor. "I'm not lying about this…"

"Good-bye, Victor, and goodnight… Sleep tight," Ryo hung up the phone, and walked into the living room with a bottle.

"Who was that?" asked Heiji as Ryo entered the living area.

"Victor," Ryo sighed, "talking about how some guy named Jurgis wants to kill Fuji… Freak…"

"Jurgis?" Heiji paled, and wheeled back in his chair, "Ryo, I hate to break it to you, but Fuji told me about a guy named Jurgis… I think Victor was telling the truth…."

There was a long pause from the three, and then seemingly at once they all lunged for a phone, and tried desperately to get a hold of Victor.

"Damn, get his number!" Ryo demanded.